Beyond the door, There's peace I'm sure

[Bryce Bantam]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKNNe0UWhFc​

After the concert on Coruscant Bryce had decided to stop over at a local watering hole on Corellia. It wasn't much, a broken building with grey, rusty wall, a dark smokey interior, and all the best Corellian whiskey you could want. Today instead of playing in front of that crowd thousands he sat at peace strumming an old worn six string.

The concert had been exhilarating but he had decided not to say and join in the excitement. Tucked away in some dive bar on the once One Sith controlled planet he sad resting his mind and performing. His life was at a bit of a crossroads. Behind him lay a chaotic adolescence. In front of him the Outback and its' constant battle for survival. But all that was for another day, for this was the exhale before the plunge. A time for quiet honouring of the dead and reflection. As was becoming a custom he spent it playing music while nursing a cold beverage. Here is where anyone would find him, even a lost soul who yearned for something more.


[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

Faith motioned the Barkeeper to refill her cup, but the man was just shaking his head as he looked at the pitiful excuse of a jedi that was getting wasted in the bar since the sun began to rise on the horizon. Back in her time before the incident, while she had been a padawan like any other, she would have never thought that her future looked like this. Alcohol dimmed the senses, sedated body and mind, and made it harder to interact with the force. Yet Faith couldn't have cared less, all she wanted was to forget, to numb herself until the point where she would pass out and hopefully get through the night without any more nightmares.

"..ome on, mannn, just one more. Please?"

Her words slurred through the air, as she tried to give the man a seductive look. He just continued to shake his head, his expression even more pitiful than before. Stumbling she stood up from her stool, almost dropping to the ground on her way. With slow and unpredictable steps she walked through the bar, taking place on a table in the edge of the room. She was barely conscience, but in the back of her mind she was listening to the sound of the guitar, as the notes and chords danced through the room.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

The booze staggered stranger did not escape Bryce as he finished his song. In fact she had been on his radar for some time. Pain like that is palpable to a healing soul and no matter how much she drank Bryce knew it would not dull the pain near far enough. The drink had left her mental defences low and just from her surface thoughts Bryce could pick out images of pain, humiliation, and loss. Her's was a story far too common in the verse. One that she suffered with alone, the bottle her only friend.

Bryce slung his six-string around to his back and slowly walked over to the table the young robed drinker had settled into. Without saying anything he pulled up a chair, spun it around till the seatback was closest to the table and straddled the seat. Placing his forearms on the seat back he crossed them over before resting his chin on his arm. Like a foreign tourist would read a street sign Bryce stared at the glassy eyed girl, trying to read her but not fully versed in the language.

He was gonna stay there till she talked to him, because if she didn't open up soon, she was gonna drink herself to an early grave.

[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

It was considerably hard for Faith to see the stranger that had taken place at her table. She had been born blind, and only the jedi had been able to teach her to see to some degree. But now, after a day filled with cheap corellian whisky and a variety of other highly intoxicating drinks her connection to the omnipotent and omnipresent force was nothing but pathetic. She could make out the rough outlines of the man, but the only reason she wasn't already stumbling away from him was the tune he had played before.

The music helped her to find that last small bit of tranquillity in her mind, a tiny shimmer of hope hidden inside her heart. Maybe hope was a slight exaggeration, but at least it made her feel better. She turned her head at the man, her eyes aimlessly wandering around as it was common for someone blind.

"Who ... re youuu?"

The words where once more slurred, she was stumbling over own tongue as she pressed the sound out her lungs. She wasn't even sure why she asked or talked to the guy at all. A part of her wanted to be alone, to drown in booze and self loathing, yet another part of just felt lonely and lost, and wanted nothing more than somebody to talk to.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

"My name is Bryce, but my friends call me "BB". You can choose whichever you like."

As he spoke Bryce adjusted his chair and pulled the guitar from his back. Bryce had noticed how she seemed more relaxed when he played so decided to do so again but softly as to not distract her too much.

X

"Do you want to see me better?" he asked as he began to play. Bryce could feel she was trying to use her connection with the force to perceive him but was intoxicated as she was he could tell it was not as strong as she hoped. If she let him Bryce planned to use an old Jedi trick to help her out, one that at the very least would clear her mind a bit.

[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

"Bryce."

She quietly repeated the name, her face showing a slight sign of relaxation. After hearing nothing but the names of a sith master and his apprentice for weeks, it was a relief to talk to someone who didn't call himself Darth. Bryce, a normal name, like hers. No title, and not made up in the mind of madman. As the man began strumming her expression formed into a small grin, as she allowed herself to fall back in her chair.

"Will I also beee less drunk? Because if yes, then please."

She enjoyed the numbness to some degree, but she never enjoyed being drunk. It was the second time in her life she even consumed alcohol. The first time had been with another padawan back at the temple, and both felt terrible afterwards. They even told the masters that they sneaked out because they felt guilty. Oh what innocent times ...

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

Bryce smiled as she spoke. Good, she knew what she was doing to herself he thought. Stopping mid-song he placed the guitar down by his side before softly placing his hand on her's.

"Calm your mind, think of clear waters and happier times." He said.

Reaching out to the force he envisioned the alcohol molecules in her body. Swimming throughout her bloodstream Bryce begins to picture it breaking down into it's natural components. Through the force he sees it being neutralized and with this powers of healing the toxin obeys. Soon he would be finished and his as yet unnamed woman would be relieved of her mind-numbing spirit, the new issue would be how would she now feel without its' pain relieving effects?

As he finished he pulled his hand back and picked up his guitar once again, beginning the song again he would wait for her to speak again. This is the way he felt it best to help her. Let her lead the conversation and be as he has been to so many, a friend.

[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

Memories flashed through her mind, when the man asked her to think about happier times. Wasn't to hard, everything that had happened prior to the last few weeks could be considered happier times. The hours she spend with her master, learning from her how to see, and how to heal. Her days in the temple, filled with friends, with people she respected and that respected her equally. The exact opposite of being slave, a tool that was worthless to who it belonged to. As the numbness left her body, so did her smile. After the intoxicating substance had dissolved in her body the memories she wanted to forget so badly returned before her inner eye, almost as clear as the day they happend. Still she felt gratitude for Bryces attempt to help her feel better. She had no happiness in her but there was still a small light of hope, of faith in the good of the galaxy that even the sith couldn't extinguish.

"Thank you. I am ... I am Faith by the way. Faith Highwind. Sorry that you had to meet me like that."

Her voice was friendly but also a hint of shame could be heard. What a mess she was, getting drunk so a stranger in bar had to help her sober up. If she wouldn't have been down already, her disappointment about herself would most certainly have done the job.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

New meetings were always such delicate things. Especially when force users are concerned. Emotional tides, dark pulls and of course our over inflated egos always get in the way. So Bryce wanted to stay as neutral as possible at this time. Not saying too much but still be truthful and honest.

"A pleasure Faith, you're not from around here are you?"

One good thing about traveling around the verse so much was you tended to meet all different types of people. So if you were one of those that listen to folks for a living you could often tell the subtle differences in accent.

"You sound more like you're from maybe the middle rim, Naboo perhaps?"

[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

She opened her mouth in slight surprise as he guessed her heritage based on the few words she had spoken. Rarely someone noticed the accent at all, and she had never meet someone who could point out her homeworld. Well she hadn't meet to many people outside of the temple and the few she had didn't cared much for who she was. It was a nice change of pace to talk to someone who showed actual interest in her and not just for the things she could be used for.

"How could you ... Yes I am ... was from naboo, before I was taken to the tem ..."

She stopped in her sentence. Sure he seemed nice, but she didn't knew him well enough to reveal who she had been. She could feel the force in him, far stronger than in herself. Was he jedi? Was he here to take her back to the temple where she would be a danger to all those around here? Or was he a sith, a test of her oppressor to see how far his control over her mind was? Something else entirely? She gave the man a questioning look, but was to shy and fearful to vocalise her thoughts.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

Bryce noticed the sudden pause in her sentence and fear in her posture. That little bit was something she wasn't proud of to say the least, downright terrified her if he was reading her right.

"No need to go there Faith, if it hurts then let it go, let's talk on other things. Like your future. You resigned to keep punishing yourself and hiding at the bottom of a bottle, or you looking for more?"

Bryce knew why she was here, not the particulars obviously but bottle therapy was a time-honored tradition of the lost and hurt. So it didn't take a force vision for him to put two and two together. The real question was where [member="Faith Highwind"] was. If she wanted to move on and begin to climb out of the hole she was in or if she was too broken to forgive herself and move on. Only she knew the answer to that.

 

[Faith Highwind]

Her future? Her expression turned from fear to resignation. She had no future, no fate and no hopes to follow. Not only because she lost all faith this one day, but because there was something in her mind that she had no control over. How could she even think about the future without falling deeper into her guilt and self loathing? The man who forced her to kill once had no moral problem with doing it again. How could she look towards the next day without constant fear of what lived within her? A sad, quite laugh left her lungs before she answered his question.

"It's not just the past that pains me. The future and the present are almost as bad. You know how in live you don't have control over what happens sometimes? This is what I have to live through each day."

She was slightly surprised that her programming hadn't taken over yet, inhibiting her from telling him anything else. Her answer had been as vague as possible, trying to hint at the problem without saying it out loud. It was a small bit of hope, but the chances that he could figure what happened to her by these few words was rather slim.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

"Contol is an illusion faith. Dreams the Jedi spin to support their overly inflated egos. Desires the Sith use to push themselves to the madness they descend to. Truth of it is we can only do our best and hope it is enough. We will all fall short of perfection, all fail to live up to what we want. Key is we keep trying, keep pushing, and keep living for something."

Bryce reached over and held up his drink. Placing it to his lips he took in a deep drink till the glass was empty and placed it back on the table.

"Life is finite, like the beer in this glass. When it is gone, who will remember it? The people who touched it. Life is the same."

Bryce paused again, this time for effect.

"You're afraid, if what, well that is your own. Question I'm asking is do you intend to live this way for the rest of your life? Or do you want something more?"

[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

Faith looked at the man, searching for words. In her heart she knew that he was right, that the live that she was going to burden on herself wouldn't be worth living at all. But what was the alternative? She wanted to try, she really wanted to, but the decision wasn't hers after all. If she could she would help anyone in this galaxy, the poor, the lost, the sick and the depressed. Yet in her current situation it was far more likely that she had to raise her blade against them, or help her deranged master by forming them into mindless slaves. Who would remember her? In the name of Abyss she had healed many, but most of the wouldn't remember. Most of them hadn't been themselves for quite some time now. What good could something liker her do that wouldn't be worthless compared to the bad things she had to do.

"I want more, but I don't think I can have it. There are ... circumstances that have made my live complicated."

For a second her look got blank, her mouth and body moved mechanically. She wanted to tell him what had been done to her, but as soon the thought moved to her mouth her programming formed a sentence that she hadn't intended to say.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Bryce Bantam]

It was weird, mid-sentences her voice... changed. Bryce hadn't ever seen that before and it troubled him. Time seemed to slow down as he actively studied it. Just as he was about to get an impression it was gone. He could see the fear grow within her, like something had violated her, but what?

He sat staring at her for a few moments longer. What she had said after that event didn't matter to Bryce, the words were meaningless because he could feel they were not her own. Now a smart man would have seen these happenings and left her. There was danger written all around her but the source was unseen.

"You have a hole in you mind..." He said.

The words echoed for a moment. Bryce let them, as if to tell whatever haunted Faith I saw you. Then he stood up and looked at her once more.

"This place is poison to ya Faith. Right now you are at a fork in your life. To your left is that bar stool, misery, and mind-numbing loneliness. But you will be safe there. To your left is me, waiting on pad 23-c at Anon starport. Your life, do what you want."

With that, Bryce walked over to the bartender. Settled up for both himself and Faith, then walked out of the building.

The choice was her's, and her's alone.

[member="Faith Highwind"]

 

[Faith Highwind]

Faith listened to the words of the man, and watched him leaving the bar afterwards. Her fears, her guilt and loneliness told her to turn right, to drown in her sorrows until there would be no tomorrow one day. They told her to go straight to the bar, and persuade the Barkeeper to give her a drink, one stronger that those she had before. She wasn't a real jedi anymore so why couldn't she just use the force to convince him, or use something else? She had heard that a woman of her looks could get a man to do many things, and it wasn't like she could feel more ashamed of herself.

Even without more alcohol she suddenly felt sick, as the images of what she was thinking to do flashed through her head. Had she really fallen that low, was that her live now? No...

The words of the man had awoken something in her a small glimpse of what once had been hope. Her faith was broke and crumbled, buried under all her negative emotions somewhere deep inside her soul. She had thought that it been lost forever, but now it was there, weak but undeniable. No she wouldn't throw away her live because of what happend to her. No she wouldn't accept her fate, she would stand up, and rekindle the faith that once drove her. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day she would find it again.

Without a second look, the young woman rose from her stool, and moved out of the run down bar. She knew where she had to go: pad 23-c, anon startport.

[member="Bryce Bantam"]