Private Bright Spots

[Nida Perl]

M i d v i n t e r
Several weeks after Korriban​

Weeks passed as Nida teetered on the brink of her mortal coil.

At the crux of their confrontation, Kyra Perl issued a burst of light-sided energy unto her sister. The miasma of light had burned into Nida’s being, seeping into every cell in an attempt to rid the corruption from her body. The result left her small body skeletal, suspending her in a fragile state of vegetation. One nudge and she’d crumble into dust.

In the weeks that had followed, Nida’s consciousness ceased to be. There was no hazy recollection of the journey to Midvinter, or the healing touch of Thurion Heavenshield .

Eventually, something in her became well enough to rouse her consciousness.

The first thing she noticed was the cold. Not the feeling itself, as the room was kept warm by the steady crackles of a fire in the hearth. No, it was the sharp, clean scent of winter snow mixed with notes of pine and wood. It was Midvinter.

It was a great effort for her to crack her eyes open, examining her surroundings through narrow slits. Her body remained as still as it had been for weeks. There was something fastened to her that dampened her connection to the Force, and Nida was surprised to find that this brought her a wave of relief. Perhaps they didn’t know what they’d find once she was revived.

Her eyes closed, already exhausted from her minuscule labors. As her senses slowly started to ground her, Nida felt that she was not alone.

Through parched lips and a dry throat, she found the energy to murmur:

“Is it over?”

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

After their rapid retreat from the roof of the Sith Academy on Korriban, the discussion on where to take the catatonic Nida now that they had her commenced. It was initially argued that bringing her back to the Silver Rest was the obvious choice, however the journey from Korriban to Kashyyyk would be considerable, even when utilising the full warp capabilities of the Sting Ray.

Pulling up a map of the Tingel Arm, they both came to the same conclusion and spoke the name together: Midvinter.

With the greatest haste they brought Nida to his homeworld, hoping that his father would have the skills to restore her. It would also allow him and Kyra to finally pause and take a deep breath knowing they were truly in a safe place. Neither had been back since that day the Silver Jedi came to visit, and the closer they got Thirdas found himself becoming increasingly homesick.

Nida would not find herself in a sterile medical facility upon waking up, nor even the healing center of Eirin's Reach. She'd find herself lying in Thirdas' old bed at his parents' house, with Thurion himself being her lone physician throughout her lengthy recovery. Kyra and Thirdas made for most diligent bedside nurses, taking shifts so that one of them would ever be at her side.

"Is it over?"

Thirdas stirred from his nap, having nodded off in the chair by her bedside. Her voice was so weak, yet he could hear her so clearly. His eyes went wide and he turned his head to call out the open door.

"Dad! Come quick!"

He wanted to reach for her hand, but feared he would only harm her fragile body. So instead he merely placed his hand upon hers, ever so gently while soaking a rag in fresh water with which to dab her parched lips.

Loud footsteps followed by the creaking of the wooden staircase announced their impending arrival.

Nida Perl ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Bounding up the stairs to the upper floor of his home, Thurion appeared by his son's side and gave him a gentle push to move aside. He took a moment to examine her freshly conscious state, checking her vitals with but a press of his thumb against her pulse. The Force was his ally, and through it he could read her body for ailments.

"Gently, gently," he uttered words of comfort for his patient. Over-exertion at this critical stage could prove fatal. His large palm settled against her pale cheek, covering most of the side of her face. She was cold to the touch, still.

"You are home, Child. You're back with your family."

Even from afar he could tell Thirdas was trembling, shifting in his seat from worry. His father took his hand and squeezed it.

"The worst has passed. We just need to keep her warm and fed to let her body recuperate. You did good, son. You did good."

Thirdas' face contorted as he burst into tears from sheer relief, letting his pent up fears finally get stripped away piece by piece. He leaned into his father for an embrace, then leaned down to place a lasting kiss upon his beloved's forehead.

"I told you I'd save you," he whispered.

Nida Perl ​

 

[Nida Perl]

When Thurion placed his hand to her cheek, Nida suddenly realized how cold she’d been. Somewhere in the haze that was her mind, Nida felt as though she should be afraid. The man she’d viciously denounced was tending to her like an injured bird. Which, in all fairness, she was.

"You are home, Child. You're back with your family."

Nida had trouble believing that after all she had done, the Heavenshields would still consider her family. But the genuine relief in Thurion’s voice was too sincere for her to doubt, even if this was a Jedi trick. Even that thought fell flat, lacking the bite she acquired from denouncing the Jedi way.

Thirdas’ touch brought another wave of warmth to her, as if it were a medicine flowing through her veins. He whispered to her as she slipped back into unconsciousness.

---

A few hours later, Nida woke up. Though still weak, the proper rest in a warm bed had done her some good.

“Thirdas,” She murmured, unable to lift her head to see him. Even though her connection to the Force was heavily dampened, she could still feel him and his mix of anxiety and relief. “….I can't begin to ask for your forgiveness.” How could she, after everything she’d done to him and Kyra?

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

During her rest, Thirdas was presuaded by his father to come down and grab something to eat himself. Rather than remain downstairs, he simply collected some fruits and sandwiches on a plate and return upstairs to have his meal sitting beside his beloved. If she truly could feel his presence despite all she'd been through, his being close to her could only improve her rate of healing.

Another hour went by until she stirred next, still to weak to move but managing more than two words this time around.

"I'm here," he immediately replied, reaching for her hand.

She voiced her shame for her actions, prompting him to get up and sit beside her on the bed so she could better see him. Gently his mechanical fingers caressed her violet hair that had regained some of its colour in the hours since their arrival on Midvinter. Slowly but surely, life was returning to Nida.

"We all carry scars from this ordeal," he uttered softly, looking down into her eyes unable to stop smiling. "Mostly the kind you cannot see. But scars heal, given time and nurture. You taught me that, once."

"You can't ask for something I have already given you, Nida. Even back on Yavin, I knew that wasn't you. I know Nida Perl; she is kind and gentle, loving and caring."

He leaned forward, letting their noses touch.

"She's the woman I love, and who I wish to spend the rest of my life with."

Softly his lips pressed to hers, knowing she would likely not have the strength to return it.

Nida Perl ​

 

[Nida Perl]

When he moved into her field of vision, Nida couldn’t help but drink in the warmth of his face. Thirdas’ happiness was genuine, a gift she felt that she did not deserve. And yet, she was selfish enough to let his presence comfort her, to revel in the gentle touch of his hand upon hers, his lips brushing her own. On one hand, she was happy that Thirdas’ loyalty to her was so strong, but it felt unearned.

Most of all, she was relieved with the presence her own guilt. Her once boundless reserve of directionless hatred for the Valkyri Prince had disappeared, replaced with shame and longing. How could she repay him?

And Kyra? How would she reconcile with Kyra Perl after what she’d put her baby sister through. Nida counted herself among the Sith who’d assailed her youngest sibling, and the Bryn’adul who’d taken her arm. Only worse, because she’d betrayed a lifelong bond between sisters in the blink of an eye. Even if they were to reunite, parts of Kyra were irrevocably changed. Nida couldn’t heal that.

Her gentle breathing paused, eyes refocusing suddenly on Thirdas as he alluded to the conversation they’d shared in a dream—I was going to ask you to marry me.

“Still?” She whispered in disbelief, the corners of her eyes creasing with tears.

Prior to Yavin, making a home with Thirdas was everything she’d ever wanted.

“I don’t deserve to marry you.” For the first time since she’d arrived on Midvinter, Nida’s voice rose above a hoarse whisper. “Not after what I’ve done. Thirdas what if I—what if it happens again?”

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

"Always," he replied with his forehead resting softly against hers, as onyx eyes soaked in her pair of violets.

She was scared, of course, of the same terrible events playing out a second time. He could only imagine what it must have been like for her, having to do such awful things and feeling you are correct in doing so. Having no control, despite thinking you are completely in control.

"We will find a way to sever this... bond you share with the Sith, Nida. There must be someone who knows of such things, Jedi or no."

He shared another gentle kiss with her before carefully lying down beside her to rest her head upon his chest, arms around her.

"I thought I'd lost you," he whispered as his fingers ran through her hair. "But I found you again, and this time I won't ever let you go."

His heart soared just having her in his arms again.

"You know, it's Life Day in about a week from now. If you're feeling well enough by then, we could go for a walk outside? Or we'll just stay indoors by the fireplace, wrapped in furs with hot chocolate..."

Nida Perl ​

 

[Nida Perl]

Nida’s mind always outpaced the situation, with overthinking being a critical weakness. Her thoughts could jump to a thousand places, make a thousand assumptions behind a mask of quiet collection.

When Thirdas took her into his arms, her apprehension slowed for just a moment. He was so happy to have her back, and after the endless months of torment she’d put him through, Nida hesitantly put aside her worried head and focused on his happiness. He deserved as much. In fact, Thirdas deserved all of the stars in the galaxy.

Closing her eyes, Nida gingerly turned her body just a little so that she could nestle against Thirdas closer. “I’m glad to be back.” Murmuring softly, she fell asleep once more.

--

Under the care of Thurion and the ever-watchful eye of Thirdas, Nida’s recovery accelerated over the passing week. Her natural vibrant coloring began to return, and her emaciated body started to fill out. While not out of the woods just yet, Thurion deemed her strong enough to move about for short periods of time. Thirdas had been there every step of the way, helping Nida as she shuffled around and scooping her into his arms when she became too fatigued to walk on her own.

When Life Day rolled around, Thurion had given her the okay for a short walk outside with Thirdas—provided that she not push herself. Until now, she’d made do with simply sitting outside in the fresh air on warmer days. Having never felt so ill in her life, Nida was delighted by the prospect of being able to take a simple walk outdoors. All she wanted was to feel normal again.

“….” With one hand on Thirdas’ arm, Nida took a single precarious step from the door to the yard. It felt strange to be walking on her own two feet, and the sharp winter air of the snowy planet nearly bowled her over at first. “I’ve forgotten how cold it is here.” She mused softly, squinting away from the snow glare. “I’ve missed it.”

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

As Nida made a comment about the constant cold of his homeworld, Thirdas draped another fur around her shoulders so she would keep warm. Hearing her remark on how she missed it, turned his worry for her into a smile. He held her as they stepped outside to walk amongst his people; something neither had done for what felt like a lifetime ago. Such dangers and horrors they'd both faced since, only to come back to this place that doesn't change.

His cybernetic arm wrapped around her shoulders, he held her by the hand using his left, taking it slow, one step at a time. Never had he been so terrified they'd encounter small bump in the road or a slick spot of ice underneath the snow.

"You're doing just fine," he reassured her by the time they reached the wooden fence gate, opening it for her so they may step out onto the stone street. Traffic was busy in spite of the unceasing snowfall, with horse-drawn carriages going up and down with goods and pedestrians hurrying to get to the market on time. For today was, what much of the galaxy called 'Life Day'.

"Here it is known as Yuletide," he explained as they shuffled along the street. "Same principle as Life Day, only it is rare for the two to coincide the way they do this year." Yuletide occurred the same day each year by Midvinter counting, while Life Day revolved around the Wookie calendar of Kashyyyk from where the holiday hailed.

"It wasn't always this cheery, though," he continued. "Way back in Valkyri history, it was instead known as the Midwinter Blot. Apparently they would hold great gatherings out in the woods, where they would sacrifice willing men and women to the Gods, believing it would grant lean winters and bountiful harvests. They slit their throats, then hung their corpses from a tree, that the Allfather's ravens may feast on their flesh and carry their blood sacrifice to the immortal halls."

Witnessing Nida's reaction, he could only shrug.

"Guess we've come a long way since, huh."

Following the surge of people, they turned a corner to find themselves by the marketplace at the center of town, featuring two towering statues of fallen kings watching over the masses: His grandfather Thrand, and now also his Uncle Thyrian. Both were adorned with Yuletide decorations, turning their otherwise stoic appearance into one of warmth and comfort.

There was no doubt in his mind that when the time came, his own father would be reunited with his elders to complete the trio of legendary rulers.

"We'll stay on the outskirts, it can get pretty rough over by the merchant stalls."

Nida Perl ​

 

[Nida Perl]

As she moved around, aided by Thirdas and the medicinal presence of Midvinter, Nida’s steps managed to become steadier. She still moved slowly, carefully, as if each step forward required a measure of mental discipline. And in some ways, it did—she often cheerfully encouraged lethargic patients to move around once they no longer needed to be bedridden. There was the risk of blood clots, sure, but lack of movement also hurt the soul. Intellectually, she knew this, but now she was living it.

Already, she was becoming more alert. The cool air bathing her bare face jogged her mind, and she was present enough to give Thirdas a mouth-gaping look of disdain as he described what was thankfully a retired tradition. It was the most animated she’d been since arriving on Midvinter, and the thought tickled her. Gently, she laughed into her hand.

They slowed to a stop near the statues of Midvinter’s departed Kings, great men who loved their world and her people and who’d died protecting it. Nida hoped that Thurion’s rule would be peaceful enough for the King to not have to be faced with that type of sacrifice. No matter how wise the ruler, war could still come from beyond the stars—and if the choice for survival came between Midvinter and it’s King, Nida knew which Thurion would choose.

“I’d like to go to the marketplace. Once I’m feeling up for it.” She smiled softly over her shoulder. Despite her own quiet nature, Nida felt most at home in loud, lifelike places. They reminded her of her rambunctious family and provided a place that she could easily fade into the background of. Of course, that was a bit harder on Midvinter—but its denizens might give the pink woman a second glance before turning back to their work. “I like it there.”

Staring up into the stone faces of Thirdas’ uncle and grandfather, she placed her hand atop Thirdas’ own resting at her shoulder. The two shared a thoughtful silence. She’d never met Thrand, and she’d only seen Thyrian from a distance before he passed on in the war.

“Tell me about them, your uncle and grandfather. What were they like?”

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Thirdas looked down at Nida as she asked to hear of his kingly lineage, then back to the pair of statues presiding over the increasingly busy marketplace. Lots of people looking to get their Yuletide trading done before what little daylight they were given this time of year vanished. Within the hour it would be pitch black again, and a large chunk of people would return to their homes.

"I never met my grandfather. He fell in battle before I was born, but Théo and Nina told me a lot about him throughout my childhood. He led the rebellion against the corrupted usurper king Beorlund and was victorious, reclaiming his father's crown and restoring Midvinter's honour. Mom and Dad both fought in the decisive battle on the fields of Tháinbroek."

He paused to look down at his mechanical hand poking through his right sleeve.

"Same battleground where we fought the Crone thirty years later."

His hold of Nida tightened.

"He fell in battle defending the capital from a great horde of undead only ten years into his reign. Dad held grandfather as he passed after a hard-won victory, and Uncle Thyrian was declared king."

Looking around, he found a nearby park bench where they may sit and watch the people slowly begin their exodus back home after an intense day at the market, as well as allow Nida to rest her legs.

"Now, my uncle," he continued once they'd made themselves comfortable. "Him I got to know pretty well through Cousin Thrand as we grew up together. You know, the guy whose wedding we attended? Anyway, Uncle Thyrian was a real stoic man, and even a little stern at times, but he held great love for his family. He used to be a Sith-"

He caught himself even as he uttered the words, but realised it was already too late.

"A Sith Lord, believe it or not. Sorry..."

His fingers fiddled, feeling more than a little awkward for bringing up what must still be a very painful and fresh experience to her.

"B-but he left that part of him behind when he was made king! Mom and Dad both helped him adjust to a life free from the Dark side, and what powers he retained from his past life he used excusively to protect his people. Right up until... well. You were there at his funeral..."

Leaning forward to rest his arms upon his knees, he turned his gaze towards the pair of statues once more. He sighed.

"I don't think I could stomach seeing my father up there alongside them. Just thinking about it now makes my chest hurt with grief."

Nida Perl ​

 

[Nida Perl]

Nida’s hands found Thirdas’ own, steadying the anxious fingers with a gentle touch. Hearing that his uncle used to be a Sith lord was surprising, and she hadn’t realized the implication until Thirdas brought it up. She wondered if it would have hit her had he said nothing. It was as if they’d picked up from where they’d left off, suspended from the reality of the past year or so. Nida knew that it would come crashing down soon, but not at this moment.

She squeezed his hand of flesh with her own, gaze turned not toward the status but at her beloved. For a long while, she said nothing.

“It will be a long while before he’s there. Thurion is in good health.” Her voice was as soft and careful as ever, picking her words cautiously. There was little to be said that could ease the worry of losing a loved one. Her thumb that had been brushing the back of his hand stilled suddenly as the realization hit her. Thirdas had lost her seemingly out of nowhere—and now he was worried about losing another loved one. Thurion, the legend of strength that he is, was not invincible; if war didn’t claim him, then old age would, and the Heavenshield family would have to bear his loss.

“He’d be up there for the right reasons.” Shifting closer, she placed a small kiss on his jaw before scrunching her face slightly. “When was the last time you shaved?” A pink finger scratched teasingly at the beard that had grown in. A career soldier, Thirdas had kept his hair cropped and his face shaved, albeit with some stubble. His new look was more Valkyri-esque. “It suits you.”

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

He couldn't help but break into an embarrassed grin as she commented on his looks, even letting out a chuckle as he leaned back and put his arm around Nida, holding her close while his synthetic fingers handled her slender pink digits with the greatest of care.

"I don't, uhm..."

He'd meant to come up with a clever answer for her, however he could only find the cold truth upon his lips.

"After I got back from Yavin, I... I couldn't figure out how to function properly. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, least of all me. And after I set my sights on finding you, it was everything occupying my mind from there on out. I was a mess, until-"

Thirdas slowly came to the realisation even as he uttered the words.

"Until Kyra came to join me. Her being there gave me the reason to care again, about something other than our seemingly impossible task. She provided me with focus and clarity of mind, believe it or not."

He smiled again, thinking back to those difficult times with strange fondness.

"I owe your sister a lot," he then looked down at Nida resting against his shoulder. "She brought you back to me."

He leaned down to place his forehead against hers, staring deeply into her eyes as their noses touched.

"And hey," he suddenly grapped hold of her and placed her on his lap, kissing her playfully on the lips. "I could always shave it off if it offends my lady!"

Nida Perl ​

 

[Nida Perl]

Nida’s expression sobered as Thirdas offered a peek into what her departure had done to him. A wave of shame washed over her when she was reminded of the impact she had, how her decision had torn into the lives of the people she’d cared about most. Everything had been turned upside down for Thirdas and Kyra, and it was her fault. A few tears slipped a slow path down her cheeks, but she flicked them away and stifled her sorrow for his sake.

She brightened with interest as he mentioned how much Kyra had helped him over those long months.

“I’m glad,” Nida breathed, eyes closing to gather her words. “That you and Kyra are closer. I just wish…” She swallowed thickly unable to finish. I just wish that the circumstances had been better. Kyra had kept her distance since they’d arrived in Midvinter, and Nida’s stomach twisted in worried knots over how her sister would receive her.

Thirdas coaxed an impish smile from her, and Nida picked at his beard gingerly. “I like it.” She declared. “Provided you keep it neat, and that it does not get too long.”

Every spark of joy was followed by a surge of guilt, raging in her mind like a forest fire. Who was she to deserve happiness, after what she’d done? And to derive it from the one she’d hurt?

“Thirdas, I-“ She stilled, her voice dropping into something more somber. “Once I am well, I need to stand trial among the Jedi for my crimes. Whatever punishment they decide, I fear I will not be worthy to serve the Force until I bear it.” She paused, fiddling with the edge of her fur cloak. “Nor will I be worthy of you and Kyra.”

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

As Nida's expression sobered, so did his as she explained what would happen next. The selfish part of him, however small, wanted to tell her to stay here with him and not worry about what the Jedi think. That all her crimes were immediately forgiven, just as he had so readily forgiven her. He knew, however, that this is not how things work, and he would not be so selfish as to deny Nida her redemption in the eyes of her peers.

"I will go with you," he stated very matter-of-fact. It wasn't even up for discussion.

"Although I would argue you are more than worthy of being happy, because of what you've gone through, I will attend this Jedi trial. I'll be with you every step of the way, Nida."

Running his fingers through her hair, more vibrant with colour with each passing day, Thirdas could only feel optimistic about the future. Their future.

"And when it is over, we will go home. We have so many holo-vid nights to catch up on!"

Nida Perl ​