Private Broken and Shattered

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

They were not supposed to kill. The rules had been made clear, yet when on the mat, sparring, the proctors would not prevent death. If one of them died, they were weak and unworthy of leading. Others among the academy had already arranged for certain accidents to take place. Their had also been the matter of the break in and attempted assassination of one or more students. They were Sith. The fifth cohort had overcome, but they had been punished for it.

Aerik found the duels soothing. Kole used them to release his rage. Vyra noted they were simply part of the curriculum, required to advance. The pups approached each of their bouts differently. After the attack none of them felt the need to hold back, yet for the sake of their fellow students they often did. Kole preferred to make a show of strength more than the others, but the message it sent about all of them was clear.

Perhaps that was why Aerik’s eyes were focused on the makeshift shiv which his opponent held at the pup’s throat.

“Not as strong as your brother?”

The voice was cruel and taunting. It was the mistake of youth to delay. Rather push the blade into his neck the acolyte Aerik was fighting sought to prove he was better. It would have explained why they looked puzzled when Aerik laughed.

“You’re not going to kill me.”

“And why is that?”

In a movement which would seem like like a blur to everyone else, Aerik had reversed their position. His opponent was on his back, the shiv knocked out of his hand. Gasps erupted at the site of it. They were all feigned of course. The display of shock was more for the proctor overseeing the fight than anything else. The students knew better. No one was above using based methods to advance if they gave an advantage.

A loud snap rang through the room followed by a scream. Aerik broke the wrist of the hand which had been holding the weapon moments before.

“Because you mistake my restraint for weakness. Don’t do it again. Next time it will be more than a bone I break.”

He stood and looked to where his siblings were sitting. Kole nodded his approval.

<< “About time you showed everyone what you can do.” >>

Vyra smiled.

<< “Kole would have killed him. Good thing for him you aren’t Kole.” >>

<< “Hey… I heard that…” >>

<< “You were supposed to.” >>

Aerik laughed. The conversation happening between them was private to all but the three. It was a benefit of their closeness and birth.

<< “He knows not to try that again. Besides I don’t feel like giving the proctors more ammunition to punish our cohort any further than they already have.” >>

His eyes scanned the room for his friend Irina Jesart . He wanted to make sure she knew he was okay in case she had been watching. They hadn’t seen each other since the night in the maze, not in any way other than in passing. He was starting to wonder how she was doing.

 

[Irina Jesart]

The duels made Irina miss her sword, more than anything else. It was one of the few skills her father had taught her. She missed the sound of their blades clashing in 5hebgardens as they trained, the way he would smile with pride when she successfully performed the riposte he was teaching her, or the way he grinned the day she'd finally been able to disarm him. It was one of the few times he was truly himself, where the burdens of his title did not drive him to the edge of madness. When there was nothing but them and their deadly dance.

Her own sparring matches had not gone so well as a true duel would have, but she took the losses as learning opportunities, stepping into the ring and gaining strength each time. She'd almost won this mornings, but the brute strength had overcome her. Her cheek was split, her head still sore from the impact that had knocked her out cold. She'd yet to go to the infirmary, too interested in watching the duels for the rest of the morning, she could learn just as much from observation.

Irina winced at the sound of snapping bones, a sound she was sure she would never get used too, but it was signal enough that Aerik had won this one. She pushed off the pillar she'd been leaning against as the students dispersed from around the matt. There would be a break befoe the next round of duels were called.

She caught Aerik's eye and smiled as she approached him. "Nicely done. I think he learned his lesson." She picked up the discarded shiv as she passed it and inspected it. "Maybe I'll have more luck if i start playing dirty."

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

She had been leaning against a pillar. His eyes set on the girl which looked like she should have gone to see the physicians rather than watching him spar. Aerik could smell her blood, it mixed with the scent of the others which had bled on the mats. He reached for her chin and turned her face to the side so he could look at the wound.

He nodded as he let her chin go.

“Just a bit of bacta will clean that right up… unless you want it to scar.”

His gaze fell to the shiv. Irina’s comment elicited a chuckle from him even if she should not have picked it up. They did not need to be drawing any more attention to it than what was needed. The proctors had already come to address the break, and he could hear them talking about him even if they thought he could not hear. Aerik had heeded Irina’s advice about keeping his abilities a secret. He especially made sure the proctors or the instructors did not find out.

He grinned when he looked over to his siblings. Kole, like the dork he was, gave his brother a thumbs up. Vyra simply rolled her eyes and slugged Kole in the shoulder. They did not seem as intent on making friends like Aerik had been, though Kole had gotten to know some of the other students from his time in the maze.

“They don’t care,” he answered.

Aerik nodded his head to where the proctors were still talking.

“They would have let him stab me. They’re trying to figure out how I beat a kid in the third so easily when it looked like he had me pinned down.”

He shrugged.

“Still I wouldn’t get caught cheating.”

 

[Irina Jesart]

Irina's heart jumped as he reached for her chin, pounding the same way it had when he'd caught her chin in the maze. She cursed inwardly atvher inability to control such a reaction, feeling her cheeks heat up. What made it worse, was knowing that not only could he hear it, but no doubt his siblings could too.

"If I'm going to let anything scar its going to be from a real fight that was worth something, bit because some built like a rancor buffoon landed a lucky strike." She replied with a smile, "I didn't want to miss your fight." She added sheepishly.

Her gaze dropped to the shiv, thoughtful for a moment. She was used to playing games, to moving pieces on a board to best an opponent, but this?

"I care less about whether they care and more about my own honour." Yet even as she spoke the shiv disappeared into her sleeve or pocket. It didn't hurt to have a weapon of some description. Her eyes followed his nod and she pursed her lips.

Irina assumed it was his strength, the proctors would know what Aerik was, but perhaps they didn't fully understand what that entailed. She wasn't entirely sure if she did either, truth be told.

"Put a sword in my hand, and I'd have destroyed every opponent so far." She sighed wistfully.

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

Aerik nodded. This time he ignored the fact that her heart raced. The pup recalled the embarrassment she felt the last time he pointed it out and just figured it was some kind of natural response humans had when they were in that close of a proximity with someone. He was happy to hear she was not going to let the injury scar, though if she wanted to ensure it would heal, they needed to get to the infirmary soon.

“Fair,” he said, “though you shouldn’t have waited for my fight. They have a long line up today.”

The duels were getting more brutal. It seemed there were those hungry to rise through the ranks and one of the ways to ensure that happened was to weed out some of the other students. Aerik had avoided drawing attention to himself because the fifth cohort was under a lot of scrutiny already, but when the kid pulled a shiv on him that didn’t matter.

Honor was going to get her in trouble. She could keep her honor intact if she wished, but at a certain point they would all be tested on how far they would go to achieve what they needed to in order to win. It was one of the true tests of leadership. Could they abandon their own ideas to embrace what was required of them in the moment or not. Ideals could bind them to something that would hold them prisoner.

They also needed to know when to stand firm and hold fast. His father told him of how his mother had put her duty above her own life. There were times when that was important. The mission and the Order above the individual.

“They didn’t think I would win. Now they’re trying to figure out why my rank is so low.”

The pup smiled.

“Get to a higher cohort, and you can get that sword.”

It was the one advantage of getting to higher levels Aerik was envious of. He did not need a weapon, per se, but with the attacks which had already happened, he wanted something he could carry out in the open. For now he would be left alone. No one would want to challenge him in the same way. The proctors would likely give him opponents that should prove more difficult too.

Aerik had a target placed on his back by the proctors.

“But you also need to learn how to fight without it. Maybe I’ll teach you sometime.”

 

[Irina Jesart]

"Lucky for me I didn't have to wait long then."
She countered with a grin. The shivs and makeshift weapons were a development over more recent weeks, students were getting desperate to climb. It was a dangerous shift and one she was beginning to feel the pressure of. She breathed a sigh out of her nose.

"Whatever the cost." She murmured, more to herself, than to Aerik, a sadness touching her face. That was what her father had said to her.

Whatever the cost, Irina, we will pay it.

Of course, by we, he had meant she would pay it. Her gaze snapped back to Aerik at his offer, uncertain of he was serious or not. "In exchange for what?"

She wasn't sure what she could offer in exchange, it wasn't like hisnown training bedore coming here hadn't been extensive with Lord Carnifex as his tutor.

"Acolyte Jesart." Irina jumped as a proctor appeared in the doorway calling for her. Where Aerik was firmly on their radar, for his skills and his heritage, she, thus far had been flying neatly underneath it. Did they know about their last trip to the maze? Was she about to be punished for something?

She realised she'd not answered, and eyes were starting to settle on her. She took a small step back from Aerik, so as not to incriminate him on whatever was about to happen. "Yes?"

The proctor gave her an up down glance. "Come." The command was uttered once before he turned on his heel and vanished back out the door. She cast a nervous glance towards Aerik before following suit.

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

“Hey I had planned on stretching out, but the piece of bantha poodoo pulled a shiv on me. I had to end it.”

Aerik shrugged. Kole was happy his brother had finally showed off a little, but Aerik had been trying to blend in more than stand out. Now, for the moment, he really stood out. The pup did not want to rise so far and so fast that he left his siblings behind. They would all graduate, and they would do so with distinction. They simply had four years to get there. If they could rise to a new cohort by the time the year ended, that would be progress.

He shrugged when the girl asked him what he would want in exchange for helping her learn to fight. There was not much she had that he wanted to make it a fair trade. One reason, maybe an excuse to come up with anything else, did jump out at him.

“You can’t have my back if you can’t fight.”

There was enough sarcasm in his voice to let her know he was teasing her. Aerik was also right though, she did need to know how to fight. They had agreed to protect each other, and fighting was a necessary skill if she were ever called on to keep her word.

Aerik would have teased her more, but one of the proctors came to collect her, just her. He was curious as to what it might be about. The expression on the man’s face did not promise it was good. There was a weight in the air which surrounded the space he was taking up. That made the pup sigh. It was not going to be good whatever it was.

Maybe he needed to follow. Aerik was good at staying hidden.

Her look told him she was nervous. Aerik could not think of a time when a single student was singled out when class was in session. While this was not a class per se, it was their designated time in the gym to practice or spar. For the fifth cohort it was time for their duels which had felt a little like the punishment which was being continued from the night of the raid. Everyone in the fifth cohort had lost their duels so far. Some of the Echani were still left, and his brother and sister were left.

Irina looked like she needed him, so Aerik decided to follow. He motioned with his head to let his siblings know what he was up to. They nodded in return. Both of them seemed to be just as curious as Aerik. That was confirmed when they both dropped into his mind in unison asking that he tell them what he found out.

They wanted to know what the proctors were up to.

 

[Irina Jesart]

Irins had expected to find him to simply stop outside the classroom, but instead he turned on his heel and led her away, heading towards the faculties offices. Irina felt a cold dread wash over her that deepened with every step. She wanted to ask where they were going, or if she was in trouble for something, but she feared the response, keeping quiet instead.

They finally came to a halt outside the Head Proctors office, her guide knocked smartly once, before opening the door and ushering her inside. The Head Proctor glanced up from the datapad in his hand before pointing at the chair opposite him wordlessly.

Irina sat.

Folding her hands into her lap, disappearing behind her well practised mask, she waited for him to speak.

“Irina of House Jesart, daughter to Lord Jacob Jesart and his sole heir.” It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She sat a little taller, and he perhaps noticed, his eyebrow twitched as he looked at her over the datapad.

“It is my duty to inform you that your father is dead.”

Irina blinked. Of all the sentences to come out of his mouth, she had not been prepared for that one.

“What?” Her voice came out as a whisper. Her heart rose slowly to her throat. It couldn't be, she'd only been gone a few weeks, a couple of months at most, it wasn't possible.

“He was found yesterday, having hung himself.” He continued as if she hadn't asked him anything, his eyes reading from the notice on the pad before him.

“As no male heirnis present, in accordance with Eliad's laws…”

Irina stopped hearing him, she could only hear the blood rushing in her ears, the pounding of her own heart. She could see it, in crystal clear detail, the balcony from which he had flung himself from, one she had stopped him from using just as many times as she'd cut him free of it before death could take him.

Two months was all it had taken for them to break him.

Two months without her.

He had been her whole world.

She had come here for him.

“...all assets will be-”

“Dissolved and split among the noble families with a portion of their value to be placed in a trust fund until the child should become of age.” She interrupted him, her voice distant and detached. “The home will remain, its staff reduced to minimum, until such a time that the child can return and claim her belongings, at which point, it will also be dissolved.”

Her vision blurred and she blinked hard against the tears that threatened to spill over. “I know the laws.”

The Proctor sat back, regarding her quietly, as if waiting for something. What did he expect from her? An outburst? A scream of agony? In front of him? Absolutely not.

“May I go?” He inclined his head, sliding the datapad towards her. She recognised the collective crealst of the noble houses of Eliad at the head of the document, and a rage consumed her, snatching it from the desk as she rose to her feet and launched it at the wall behind him where it shattered.

He didn't even blink. “You may go, Acolyte Jesart.” She could have sworn there was a smile there, but she didn't want to wait to find out why. Turning on her heel she left the office, tears blinding her to the world around her. A weight was pressing on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

She needed…

She needed what? To go back to sparring? To flee? To scream? To break everything? She stopped walking, the first sob racking her chest, her hand clutching the wall for support, as she covered her mouth to quiet herself, her knees slowly giving way beneath her.

Everything she was working towards, everything that gave her purpose was gone.

And she was painfully alone.

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

Aerik followed as he could. They were moving down an open hallway, so the pup had to wait until they had turned a corner. He had not expected to see them walk into the headmaster’s office as he rounded it for himself. This was terribly wrong. His pace quickened, but the foot falls remained silent. He was a predator, his siblings were predators. They had hunted together on ground which was much more difficult than smooth duracrete. It would be easier to hear a pin drop in a loud room than the sound of his steps.

He reached the door. It remained cracked open. The words which landed on his ears were not glad tidings. Irina had explained her planet’s laws, enough that as she talked, finishing what was about to be explained to her, Aerik understood the position she was in. Being in the academy would not feel like a consolation at this point, but all the wolf pup could think at the moment was that she had somewhere to live for the next four years. She had been sponsored before it happened.

The pup did not want to imagine what it would be like to lose a parent. Even if they had been estranged, Irina talked about moments with her father which she remembered with fondness. Had Gerwald died or Naedira, if Aerik had been the one to get the news Irina had just gotten, he would have been devastated. He could only imagine how she felt, but that would not get him close to it at all.

Footsteps were heading toward the door. Her scent was getting closer. No one else seemed to be coming, so Aerik stepped to the side where no one would see him when she opened the door. He waited for her to walk out and take a couple of steps. When the door closed he caught up and fell into step beside her.

“Hey.”

What else was he supposed to say? There was nothing that would fix this. He wanted to help her, but the pup did not know how.

 

[Irina Jesart]

She started at the sound of his voice, so absorbed by her grief, that she hadn't even noticed he was beside her. She turned to set her back against the wall bracing herself to keep upright as she looked at him.

Irina wiped the tears from her face only for more to spill over her cheeks to replace them, she sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady herself to choke back the sobs that wanted to escape her.

"He's gone." She managed to choke out. "Everything I came here for goes with him. I don't..." she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

He did not know what to say. Death was part of life. The creature inside him knew this to be true more than it knew anything else. They were Sith as well. If Irina’s father had died it meant his body had failed, or his enemies were too strong for him to overcome. There were many reasons why the death of this girl’s father did not need his pity, but she was his friend. Aerik could feel her emotion. It was washing off of her too quickly and powerfully for him to shut it out.

This was why he rarely showed emotion. He was too busy feeling it to wear it.

“Live.”

It was the only word he could muster.

“Live.”

Aerik repeated it again.

There was a part of him that wanted to hug the girl, but was their friendship that familiar? Did Sith offer affection to comfort the mourning among them? These were questions Aerik did not have the answers to. No amount of training with Carnifex could prepare the boy for the moment his friends lost loved ones. What if this had been his sister or brother? How would they have handled the passing of their father?

It seemed easy to know what to do for his siblings, after all they had been together their entire life. That did not help him in this moment, so he sighed and just walked beside her.

“You got in on your own merit, and now you are no longer bound to excel for the honor or glory of a man that needed you to win because of his debts and compromising decisions.”

His eyes flicked sideways hoping to catch a bit of her glance.

“You are here for yourself now. Whatever you accomplish… it is for you and you alone.”

 

[Irina Jesart]

Live.

It was such a simple answer, yet there was so much behind it. Her whole life, until now had been about restoring her families wealth and power. There was no joy in it, save for those few moments she could capture with her father when the weight of their duty did not weigh so heavily on her shoulders. She'd had no friends, no dreams, nothing of her own. Yet now she could...

A bell rung through the halls, signalling the end of the morning sessions and the start of their lunch, she grabbed Aerik's arm and pulled him into an alcove not dissimilar to the one they'd first met in. Withing minutes the corridors would be flooded with students heading for food and the last thing she wanted was to be seen by any of them in this state. She wiped her face again, keeping it turned away from the corridor.

"It wasn't his debts." she corrected Aerik, "It was his grandparents and their parents. We've been trying to pick up the peices for the last three generations..." she trailed off. Waht did it matter who was at fault. They were all dead now.

"I knew." she said softly, as the corridor filled with the sounds of dozens of students footsteps and chatter. "Somehow, I knew he would not survive without me. That the other houses would push him over the edge..."

She felt a cold surge of hatred wash over her and found her tears stopped. She looked at his face then, met his golden gaze with a fire burning in her own. "When I graduate, I'm going to kill all of them."

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

Revenge was a cold dish, and while it would give one purpose for a time, it was not a lasting one. Aerik felt… sad, even if he could understand how easily it was to fall to that answer. She was grieving and anger was one of the first stages of it. He could not even get close to imagining what she was going through. The initial shock of the news had worn off, and the anger which came from the reality of her situation was driving her responses.

Her eyes locked with his and he could see the intensity of her intentions.

“And then what,” he asked her. “So you kill them all when you graduate, then what are you going to do? Maybe the idea is enough to get you through the academy, but say you do, and you kill them all, what remains for you after all that.”

He shook his head as his gaze pulled away from hers for a moment. Maybe it was the influence from the bond he had with Palm-Imer , but the pup knew this was not the course of action or purpose Irina needed to take. It was short lived, and would make her someone she did not want to become. Sith broke their chains, they did not give in to them.

Blame fell at the feet of the other houses, but if her family had spent three generations trying to rise out of the mire they had found themselves in wouldn’t her anger be better directed at the situation. Death often begat death, and the wolf pup did not want to see his new friend fall into a cycle which had the potential to lead to her own downfall.

He did it again, this time maybe knowing the action itself somehow gave him power. Aerik lifted her chin as he met her gaze once more. His eyes searched hers for a moment, in silence, hoping he could find a better answer to her pain.

“Don’t live for revenge, live for yourself, hmm? In a sense you are free now, so stay free.”

 

[Irina Jesart]

His questions caught her off guard, partially because they were unexpected, but also because she had no answer for them. She looked down. What was she expecting from him? What was she supposed to expect from anyone now? She was a noble ony in name, with a small fortune waiting for her after gradutation. It would be enough to let her start fresh but where? and doing what? She didnt know anything else, she only knew the path that had been laid out before her, she only knew how to play the game.

"I don't know." it was a whisper, one that brought the familiar pinpricking of tears back to her eyes. Revenge was easy, it was simple, but after that?

When he caught her chin and forced her to look at him again, the same burning sensation rose in her cheeks as it had before, and her heart jumped. She found her own hand rising to wrap around his forearm, not wanting to pull his hand away but somehow needing the contact with him as he spoke, and her tears ran from her eyes again.

"Aerik..." she began, swallowing against the lump in her throat, "I don't know how."

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

And there was the truth of the matter. Irina had been living for the expectations placed on her by family that she did not know how to live for herself. Aerik was not an expert, not by any means. He understood there was a certain expectation on him and his siblings which had been placed on them by their master and their father. It was their mother which reminded them to be true to who they were while also doing what duty demanded. Her lessons had been the ones Aerik had clung to the most because they had come in the safety of home.

“You followed me that night. You were going to the other cohorts. Those were decisions you made for yourself. Maybe you don’t know how right now, but the academy is giving you the space free from your family to figure it out.”

Aerik let her chin go, but her hand still clung to his arm. He let her into his space, though he knew that he could not be a crutch for her, not if she wanted to be strong. Moments like this, they needed to be few, exceptionally few.

He let the silence linger for a moment, waiting until the students had passed. They would have to make their way to the mess hall if they were not to be missed. Kole and Vyra were already prodding his mind, searching for him. He told them what was happening. Whether Irina wanted them to know or not, was not something she could decide. Aerik told his siblings everything. They were the only ones he did not keep secrets from.

No one would survive making the pup choose over loyalty to his siblings or loyalty to another.

“And I suppose it starts with lunch.”

He pulled her out of the alcove and into the open.

“Shore up your mask. They cannot know you are vulnerable right now.”

Everything was a test, and how Irina would handle the news of her father was nothing more than that in the eyes of the provost. The proctors would watch and report. For now she needed to show them all she was strong. Aerik would be her crutch today, but she would have to run on her own soon.

 

[Irina Jesart]

Irina wasn't sure if he was right or not. Those decisions had been made with her climb in mind. To study the upper cohorts and see how she could get past their defences...to see if it was possible to eliminate a threat from below by finding out if what he was doing was something she could report. These decsions were led by her drive to suceed for her family.

But the decison to call him a friend? To trust him with her mask off?

As he left her chin go, her eyes still held his the queiet settling around them as she came to the realisation that he was the first free choice she made. For a mad moment, she wanted to tell him, but then she realised that admitting such a thing might lead to awkwardness. So she kept it to herself.

She let go of his arm as he pulled her into the open, wiping her face once more. She wasn't sure if she could eat, but he was right that she would need to shore up her mask and if doing so while surrounded by a hundred other students sniffing constantly for a sign of weakness was a good place to practice that, no where would be.

As they walked, following the noise of students ahead of them piling into the mess hall she slipped her hand into his.

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

Her hand slid into his, and Aerik did not know what to do. Certainly anyone who saw this would think they were a way to get to each other. Would it be seen as some sort of rejection if he pulled his hand away? They had a mask to maintain and they were out in the open, exposed.

<< “Everyone can see,” >> he slipped his thoughts into her mind before pulling his hand away as they stepped into the mess hall.

Aerik was not sure if her mind was as open to his thoughts as his siblings were. He was more than certain it was not. Regardless, the pup needed to try and explain his actions at least.

<< “This is not the maze.” >>

Yes, he had looked at her wound in front of the others, but that was different. It was one student assessing the health or condition of another. Everyone expected alliances, and for a fifth to make friends with one one in the fourth would be seen as a minor move. Those in the upper cohorts would not care about what seemed to be such a low pairing, even if Aerik’s loyalty assumed that of his siblings as well.

Whether they were tied to Irina as well was not the question. They were bound to Aerik and as such any alliance made by any of the three would result in the unwavering support of the others. To gain one Lechner was to gain them all. It was something those which looked down on them needed to remember.

The food was not glamorous. Fourth and Fifth cohorts did not have the kitchenettes or the private chefs that those in the First or Second were given. It mattered little to Aerik, though he wondered what kind of dining Irina had been used to. The pup had been raised to feast on all kinds of things, though red meats were more to his liking. He often craved the taste of iron which came in near rare cooked steak or venison. The thought of it almost made him salivate. It stopped completely when he looked at the plate on his tray.

Whatever it was they had plopped on it today, it did not look the least bit appetizing.

“You’re late.”

The server in the line pointed to the clock as though he could read the expression on the wolf’s face.

“Lucky there was anything left.”

Aerik chuckled and shrugged. Whatever it was, it smelled rancid. He was confident he would be going hungry til dinner, or at least when he could leave the city and hunt.

“This looks and smells disgusting,” he said to Irina as they sat down. “Probably best to just shovel it down fast or go hungry.”

 

[Irina Jesart]

It was not the first time Irina had felt the words of another voice in her mind, it had been how she'd first communicated with Darth Malum of House Marr , how he had singled her out in a room full of nobles desperate for his attention. Aerik's words though came with a reminder, cold as it felt. She found herself swallowing the lump in her throat, drawing in a deep breath as he pulled his hand from hers and they each took up their own mask.

<< "I know, I'm sorry." >>

It seemed worse, walking to collect there food, a few eyes drifted to them curious but not overly so, yet she wondered if they could see what she felt. Her movement was automatic, collecting the tray, barely gracing their server with a glance as she commented on their tardiness.

She stared at the bowl of questionable slop, her hands settling in her lap, uninterested in picking up her spoon. Her stomach turned and she sucked in a quiet breath as Aerik spoke. If she didn't at least try to eat some of it a keen set of eyes would notice. They could not know her pain.

She picked up the sppon and force a smile to her face in response, though she was certain is was more of a grimace. "Well, if the beds weren't motivation enough to climb the ranks, then the food definitely is." She scooped some of it up, felt her stomach heave and set the spoon back down immedietly. "I think I'll choose hungry."

Her eyes drifted around the room, she wasn't the only one turning her nose up at it, so at least she could find some cover in that. "At least breakfast was edible." It was easier, the more he talked about anything but what had happened. She colud bury it under the thought of everything else.

Aerik Lechner

 

[Aerik Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Irina Jesart

He did not mean to scold her, nor did Aerik wish for Irina to think he was cold or unfeeling. They did not know each other well enough for him to explain, nor would he with a crowd. His eyes closed as he sighed in a way which may let her know she did not need to apologize. Had he not already told her in the maze Sith did not apologize.

Neither of them wanted to eat the food, but not because of how disgusting it was. They simply had no appetite. The news she had received was not something anyone wanted to hear, and in the end, she loved her father. It did not matter the tension that his decisions had caused her. Aerik knew that despite the pressure he felt to perform and not shame his father, he loved the man. Somehow the wolf managed to be a good father even though he was Sith. It did not make Gerwald a “good” person by any imagination. There was far too much blood on his father’s hands.

Aerik looked down at the bowl. He did not even attempt to make a show of eating it. Proctors be damned. If this meant he would be punished, so be it.

“You get a bed,” he said, pretending to be incredulous. “We only have cots in the Fifth.”

Not that it bothered Aerik. There had been many nights spent on the hard ground of the forest floor during trips to Stewjon. In that regard the cot was a bonus. The wolf pup preferred the ground at times. It kept him close to nature. He knew luxury, but he also knew simple living. The academy had not taken things from him he could not live without. Leadership was often about making the best out of horrible situations. Would the students in the fifth cohort rise or not?

Aerik snorted out a laugh.

“Breakfast was actually delicious today.”

He shrugged. The days when they were going to be sparring, the cooks always ensured the breakfast would be hearty. While there were things the academy did which were designed to make the students suffer, they were not so cruel as to deprive their bodies of what they needed to live. At least if they were on time for the meal.

The hunger they would feel til dinner would be their own decision.

“After class… meet me in the gym. I’ll show you how to deal with that move that cut your cheek, after you get bacta for it.”

Aerik wanted the guy that beat her to know she would not be so easy next time and to feel the embarrassment as all those around him heard a Fifth knew how to counter his moves.

 

[Irina Jesart]

The small smile his false incredulity tugged from her lips was genuine. She was grateful for him, grateful for realising she needed the distraction more than anything. Irina wondered, if they had not been friends…if he had not followed her…how would her day panned out? Would she have had the strength to push on? Would she have been able to hide behind a mask so no one would know?

She wanted to believe that she could. That her solitude would have given her the strength she needed to survive, but there was a niggling doubt that questioned if she would have. She pushed the thought aside. It wouldn’t do her any good to dwell on what ifs, she had to focus only on what she knew for certain.

Her hand drifted to the cut on her cheek as he mentioned it, the bleeding had slowed to a stop but it was still in need of attention. She’d forgotten about it entirely. “Right.” she said, shaking her head, “No scars for fights that mean nothing.” she managed a tight smile and nodded in agreement.

“I think I have Alchemy Theory this afternoon. A whole lot of text and not a lot of action. You?”

Aerik Lechner