Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved NPC Bryn'adûl | Servitor Sentinels

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The Bryn'adûl | Servitor Sentinels

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NOTE: When embedded in the ground, the Sentinel is not as depicted in the picture; only its head is visible.
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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To create a planetary defence variant of the Servitors.
  • Image Credit: X
  • Role: Planetary Defence
  • Links: Servitors
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Unit Name: Servitor Sentinels
  • Affiliation: The Bryn'adûl
  • Classification: Planetary Defence
  • Equipment: Large Durasteel Cylinder
  • Description: The Sentinel's are incredibly large, mutant Servitors that burrow into specific areas nearby Bryn'adûl territory military bases. They are typically a nearly two-hundred metres in circumference when burrowed, acting as essentially a planetary cannon. The Sentinels plasmatic beams are a natural trait, similar to the Obaliscs. Their lungs act as a catalyst for powerful plasmatic beams charged through the conversion of acids and gases in their stomach.
COMBAT INFORMATION:
  • Unit Size: Small [Dozen across a planet]
  • Unit Availability: Rare
  • Unit Experience: Trained
  • Combat Function: The Servitor Sentinels act as stationary defence cannons.
Strengths:
  • Powerful Defence: The Servitor Sentinels imbed themselves in the ground, covering the majority of their bodies; they keep their heads above ground in a sort of crater and can fire powerful plasmatic beams at ships, potentially capable of destroying Battlecruiser class ships in a single blast.
  • Varied Attack: The Sentinels can choose between one incredibly powerful blast every thirty seconds, or several shorter blasts that can potentially destroy SD's in two shots over the course of ten seconds with a twenty second break to recharge in-between.
  • Trench: Due to the nature of its embedded form, any attacking force would likely have to run-down the trench of the firing area to get a clear shot at the creature.
  • Underground defence: Each Sentinel's body is defender by a large circular shielding built underground to house these creatures that is typically several metres thick of Durasteel. These large structures are built ahead of time before the hole is refilled, allowing the Sentinel to make its burrow within the confines of the defensive cylinder.
Weaknesses:
  • Stationary: As powerful as they may be, they have no specific defences against attacking ships other than defences designed around it.
  • Pauses: After five minutes, the Sentinel needs two minutes of feeding to be refuelled. Taking nutrients from the soil typically. In this time, the creature can be considered vulnerable. This process can normal continue uninterrupted for an hour. Following this hour, the Bryn'adûl will manually feed the Sentinel particular gases and nutrients.
  • ​Run the Gauntlet: A few well aimed torpedoes down this things throat should take it out.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION:
Following the decimation of colonised planets outside of initial Bryn'adûl territory, further measures have begun to be taken to ensure the protection and security of the individual planets under Bryn'adûl control. Under the leadership of Mutagen Expert [member="Lerropten"], the Sentinels were created with a dual purpose - with the intention of opening up gateways into further experimentation within the possibilities of Servitor mutation, but also to generate creatures capable of defending their homes without a need for great deals of automation.
 
[member="Tathra Khaeus"]

Hey there :) Overall, I love the idea of these Servitor Sentinel, and I love the fresh flavor they offer that you really don't get to see much around Star Wars stuff. There are a few things though that we need to cover before I can approve this submission:

Description: The Sentinel are incredibly large, mutant Servitors that burrow into specific areas nearby Bryn'adûl territory military bases. They are typically a nearly two-hundred metres in circumference when burrowed, acting as essentially a planetary cannon.
As this unit is made of mutant Servitors, I need you to link to the Servitors please.

Powerful Defence: The Servitor Sentinels imbed themselves in the ground, covering the majority of their bodies; they keep their heads above ground in a sort of crater and can fire powerful plasmatic beams at ships, capable of destroying Battlecruiser class ships in a single blast.
Absolute language cannot be used in Codex, so "capable of destroying Battlecruiser class ships" needs to be "potentially capable of" or even softer.

How do these Sevitors create these plasmatic beams? Is it a species ability? Do they have an implant for it? Anything else? Need an explanation here as to how these creatures do this.


Underground defence: Each Sentinel's body is defender by a large circular shielding built underground to house these creatures that is typically several metres thick of Durasteel.
  • This one is slightly confusing because earlier you wrote that "The Servitor Sentinels imbed themselves in the ground, covering the majority of their bodies; they keep their heads above ground in a sort of crater". Where are these shields coming from? Are they planted in advance? They need to be pretty big to cater to the size of the Sevitor Sentinels and need to be carried in when they go to different planets if I'm not mistaken.
  • These should be listed in the equipment.

Pauses: After five minutes, the Sentinel needs two minutes of feeding to be refuelled. Taking nutrients from the soil typically. In this time, the creature can be considered vulnerable.
Soil offers limited nutrients. What happens when the soil is depleted? Would you say it takes many rounds for that to happen?
 
- Linked Servitors
- Removed the use of the absolutes/ect
- Added an explanation for their ability in the description.
-Clarified how the Sentinels are buried and that the metal container is planted first.
-Added more details about how they feed and how different circumstances can affect the explosion.
 
[member="Tathra Khaeus"]

Thank you very much for the edits! Only one new thing and then we can move forward with this :)

Varied Attack: The Sentinels can choose between one incredibly powerful blast every thirty seconds, or several shorter blasts that can destroy SD's in two shots over the course of ten seconds with a twenty second break to recharge in-between.
Absolute language. Please add the "potentially" in there.
 
[member="Tathra Khaeus"] Thank you very much for the edits!

Before I approve this, two things; the first, please make sure to use this very responsibly. We don't judge for balance anymore but this submission is very powerful and runs the risk of being reported.

The second thing I would recommend is adding at least one tangible weakness. Their feeding requirements is really interesting story-wise, but something more might potentially lower the risk of these getting reported down the line.

If you edit, or decide not to edit, please tag me back and let me know so that I can get this approved.
 
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