Catch the Stars

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Silver Ridge estate​

Dromund Kaas​

Getting ready to leave​

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With a travel bag in hand Kaalia walked up and into the Blue Star. It was deposited in a corner where two other bags already resided and after doing so, she took a short moment to let out a sigh and take in the ship's interior. The last time she had been aboard was years ago now and being once more caused a wave of nostalgia to flood her thoughts. The woman had been thinking about those days gone by quite often lately after losing Ishana. Even though Kaalia had been able to pull her back, the experience taught her to not take the moments she had with her wife for granted and to treasure the memories they made together.

After deciding she had reminisced enough for the moment, the woman disembarked from the Blue Star to see Ishana with their daughters and Ishana's parents. The brunette was probably saying bye and she herself wanted to do the same, so she went to join the group. The first thing she did was go through her knees to get down to the children's height and holding her arms out wide, bringing them in for a hug. "Mommy's going to miss you," Kaalia said with a little tinge of sadness in her voice as Xariah, Xarielle, and Azarin ran at her before she wrapped her arms around the trio. "We will call you every day, okay?" An harmonious 'okay' was their response. "And be kind to your gramps and grams. We'll ask them if you were nice when we come back," she added playfully.

Kaalia went to stand back up straight and shifted her tone of voice as she addressed the Daveeq and Aalicya. "Thank you so much for looking after the kids while we're on our trip." Her show of gratitude was followed by her attention turning to her wife. "And did you bring everything you need?"

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

"It's no problem at all, you two enjoy your trip." Daveeq told Kaalia with a smile. Little if anything had been explained honestly, in short, they were only told that Ishana and Kaalia needed time to themselves. Ishana meanwhile busied herself with the Blue Star. Memories were still a little shaky, but she knew if anything her piloting skills would come back to her. A short jaunt earlier in the week with a friend of Lord Admiral Raaf's also helped considerably. It all felt strange though, it was like she was using someone else's body and to an extent she was. This was a cloned body, as her 'original' had been lost to the gravity bomb that went off near her starfighter over Concord Dawn.

It was when her daughters spoke in unison that Ishana was seemingly brought back to reality, having snapped out of whatever trance she'd been in. She checked over the Blue Star's systems once again and when she was satisfied she hopped out and closed the distance between her and her parents. She gave them both a hug and promised they'd return safe and sound. The Balmorran gave her daughters one last kiss and told them to be good for their grandparents. Her secret weapon would be her sisters, the girls' aunties would be checking in with them from time to time.

Ishana then went to check the luggage one last time. It was as she put the bags away she noticed a box, it was from the Lord Admiral with kind regards and a 'welcome back.' Ishana's brows furrowed a moment and she wondered if this was something she had known about, before the dying in a gravity bomb explosion. Curiously she opened the box and then quickly closed it as her face turned about fifty different shades of embarassed. Shoving the box as far into the back as she could, Ishana shut the Blue Star's small cargo section shut and climbed back into the pilot's seat. "Habibti, whenever you're ready."

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Following closely behind Ishana, Kaalia made her way into the Blue Star after waving at her daughters and in-laws one last time. She was going to miss her iminhan, her 'little ones', quite dearly, even if this was a welcome and much needed break for both herself and her wife. The ordeal of death had left its marks on the Balmorran and those needed time and effort to tend to. Some would fade eventually, while with others they could only learn to move forward with them. It wasn't without any effort from Kaalia's side, though she could only imagine how much more difficult it was for Ishana.

One of such things was how the Kro Varian had needed a little bit of time to re-acquaint herself with Ishana's new body, but that did not in any way compare to the effort Ishana herself was to go through still for the same thing. With this trip, they would have all the time in the galaxy to take steps forward in the process of relearning what was lost and learning about that which had changed. And while doing so, the two were going to retrace their steps towards each other.

Kaalia had written down all of those steps in a small notebook that laid on the extra seat that had been installed into the ship, the seat she had seen many hours of hyperspace from. She picked it up as she went to sit down and while Ishana checked the luggage for the last time, she flipped through the pages before returning to the first. The planet of Quesaya, a bar named The Jumping Rocket. The place where everything started. She wondered if the place still existed and if it did, how much it had changed. It had been ten years ago already, a fact that left Kaalia wondering where the time had gone.

Ishana climbed into the pilot's seat in front of the redhead. Kaalia closed the notebook and placed it in the small storage bag that hung from the back of the seat in front of her. "Miala, I'm ready," she responded, an answer that mirrored the question.

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

"Alright, let's see if-" Ishana said as the Blue Star went in reverse, "uh- well, I was just checking the um gauges."

A shift in levers and the Blue Star moved forward and headed way from Silver Ridge Estate and aimed upward. Ishana was nervous about being back in the pilots seat but she had been told that the sooner she did the better. It would feel better - muscle memory kicking in. The Balmorran wasn't so sure about that - this was exactly an original, the body she was in had been cloned and so she wondered what the clone would have wanted. Perhaps it didn't matter she was here occupying this shell of a body and piloting the old bomber vessel through Dromund Kaas' skies. Beside her was a remarkable woman and yet Ishana pushed aside darker thoughts to focus on the woman who went to hell and back for her.

Her own memories were still blurred and everything felt surreal even now as the Blue Star pushed past the atmosphere and made its way into the void. The first stop was Quesaya which would certainly be a lengthy trip from Dromund Kaas, even by hyperspace lane. "All systems check out, alright let me go ahead and map the nav points..." The Blue Star was parked into a safe spot as she looked over the navigational computer. "Okay habibti, I think this should work... we'll find out if we end up in Quesaya or uh, who knows, Varonat."

Taking in a deep breath Ishana exhaled and carefully set in the nav points.

"Countdown to jump, five - four - three - two...."

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A chuckle managed to escape Kaalia's lips when the ship went backwards. It was the first time since Mandalore that she did, showing that slowly her wellbeing was looking up again. Ishana's death and all it had taken to bring her back had taken its toll on the redhead. The seemingly neverending sense of desperation throughout it all and the torment she had to fight through inside the Netherworld left their marks on her soul. A constant and droning feeling of dread still echoed in her mind and was slow to fade even when her love was right there with her, though it was more managable when Ishana was by her side.

Her steadfast nature never had its roots in any sort of confidence, but was born out of survival instinct when she reached out into the Dark side for the first time all those years ago. It was that same nature that made her the Lady of Defiance and drove her to put her own life on the line to even have a chance of being with her wife again. Somehow, she had succeeded and though the effects of that effort still lingered, it was all worth it. Of that, there was not a sliver of doubt. Knowing the trials of the Netherworld were behind her was what allowed the woman to go through her own healing process.

Her thoughts then returned to the present, brightening up her expression again. "Mhm. We're in no rush, take your time," Kaalia told her wife as she got more comfortable in her seat, as much as possible anyway. She never truly minded that, though, even if at times in the past complaints had been made out loud to nobody in particular. There was no reason to be impatient, the redhead gladly allowed Ishana all the time she needed to relearn her piloting skills.

Moments later the Blue Star was airborne and Kaalia looked from behind the pilot as everything was being checked and their destination mapped out. A countdown later Kaalia felt herself pushed back into the back of her seat for a few moments and by the time those forces subsided, the familiar sight of hyperspace had become the ship's backdrop. "I bet you'll be as confident about your flying as you always were by the time we get home," she remarked. "But right now..."

From behind, Ishana would then feel two arms wrap around her from over her shoulders, with Kaalia's hands meeting at her stomach. "...We have a bit of time to kill, I'm pretty sure."

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

Quesaya looked a little bit different than what Ishana could recall. As murky as her memory felt she was sure there hadn't been this much Imperial architecture last time. Her shirt hung loosely off her body the Balmorran hadn't bothered with putting herself together as it were. Instead she focused on guiding the Blue Star through the planet's traffic controls, finding the port they were assigned to.

"So I think we're all parked let's uh, let's find the bar, or actually - maybe some food." Ishana suggested and looked down at herself, "after a shower."

The Blue Star had a micro sonic shower, just enough to get in and get out. A quick change in clothing in the cramped quarters of the former bomber turned tiny home. She checked herself over in a small handheld mirror. Ishana knew to sit and wait for Kaalia, even in a small place like this - Kaal would always take her time. "You have anything in mind for food?" A dangerous question to ask one's wife, but it was one that had to be asked.

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Looking out over Quesaya as the Blue Star descended onto the planet hit Kaalia with a strong wave of nostalgia, despite the fact her only stay here before today hadn't been more than a few hours. While Ishana was landing the ship, she herself combed her disheveled hair from the passenger's seat to straighten it out. It wouldn't be enough but she did what she could now, knowing her wife would more than likely be waiting on her again once they were heading out. The redhead had to admit to herself that she was one to take her time behind the mirror and as small as the Blue Star was, she still had her little space to get her looks in order.

The sonic shower was something she hadn't missed, though. Kaalia was glad to have a water shower at home.

After cleaning up and picking an outfit, a fashionable pair of black boots paired with a pair of jeans of the same color and a white t-shirt with a red leather jacket over it, she was now nearly doen with what was often called 'dolling up' by a certain someone. "Oh, I don't know," Kaalia replied to the brunette as her focus was nearly entirely on what was going on in the mirror, the answer which was likely the most dreaded one. It was followed by a chuckle. "As long as we don't get chased out by people you owe money to, any place is more than fine." She stood up, slowly and carefully in order to not hit her head, and looked herself over one more time. With a nod it was concluded that Kaalia was ready to head out.

"Actually, now that I think about it," the Kro Varian then said as she walked up towards her wife and linked up her arm to Ishana's, "if it does happen and you were to try the same thing again, it would be more truthful this time."

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

Surprisingly, Kaalia did not take nearly as long as Ishana first thought.

"Uh, well let's hope we don't get chased at all," and honestly if Ishana did still owe money which was likely... She supposed. Remembering a memory that didn't feel quite like her own but supposedly was - was an interesting thing. She recalled it simply but the images in her mind were blurry and hard to discern. "Alright, here we go, off to see the magical uh... bar of ... Quesaya, right." Brows furrowed a moment as she linked arms with Kaalia.

On the ground Quesaya seemed to still be living in the same state it had been when the First Order left it, albeit with a lot less stormtroopers. Faded propaganda posters now littered the ground and most paid no mind to it. Holoflix telling of the First Order exploits would be on sale while new independent releases were now highly rated. Overall the world seemed familiar but she supposed the most important part was to find the Jumping Rocket bar. "Did I really run along the roof though?" Ishana inquired somewhat beside herself but this seemed to be quite the character trait, at least enough to steal the heart of one Kaalia Voldaren of the day. "Oh and where... where are we - which way is it?"

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

"The Jumping Rocket," Kaalia added as the two disembarked, "but it definitely is magical. The place where you stole my heart- and a little more." Looking back on it now caused her heart to beat just that little bit faster and put a smile on her face, but in the moment it had left her stupefied, bewildered, and, though she couldn't place it back then, smitten. The moment when Ishana suddenly cupped her face, tilted it towards hers, and kissed her. To this day, she claimed to have the best first kiss story of all.

It had been no more than an attempt to convince others to not do anything to her, but for Kaalia it did something that simply couldn't be put into words. The brunette would do it again for good measure before dashing off to escape an angry group of men trying to get her. Had the redhead's heart not dictated her to go after Ishana in the spur of the moment, that would have been the end of their story. But they were here now. It had only been the beginning of something so much more beautiful than Kaalia could've ever hoped for.

Though the distinct lack of First Order presence felt a little odd at first, it didn't last. Quesaya, to Kaalia, seemed a lot like a familiar home with new decorations, but ultimately it was still the same house. "You sure did," she then said to her wife as they took in their surroundings, seeing if they could find the way to the bar. "You weren't going to let anyone just tow your precious ship like that. I remember hanging on for dear life when we flew off." The Blue Star only had one seat, so the flight was quite the rocky one for her.

"Wait, I remember this corner. It's this way, we should be close now." With that Kaalia took a right, entering a narrower street compared to the one they were on up until then. "Yes, it's definitely this street."

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

"Right," Ishana replied having nothing else to really say as her wife told her the events that happened. Part of Ishana felt that this was right but when she tried to recall the memories they either blurred out altogether or they were blank. While frustrated she did her best to put on a brave face and as they walked past others on the streets she couldn't help but feel like she should know this place better. It had been told to Ishana that the Balmorran had a drinking and gambling problem of the day something she had since kicked. Still, she wondered if it would be okay to walk back into this bar knowing this. It was as they rounded the corner that something about the original bar had changed. No longer did it say the Jumping Rocket Bar, but it read Rocket City Diner, "huh."

It seemed in the time since the couple had been there the bar had lost money and sold out to the franchised diner that seemed to dot the planet itself. "Well, food's always good anyway." She remarked with a smile, glad to be able to dodge the idea of having to deal with alcoholic drinks. "And yeah, you know - that sounds about right, don't think I'd ever let the Blue Star go." As the couple walked into the diner it was easy to see where things used to be for while the decor had changed the layout of the place hadn't.

"Welcome family, how many are y'all today?" A hostess asked.

"Two." Ishana answered.

"Great, y'all take a seat anywhere and I'll follow you with the menus."

Ishana looked down and found a corner booth she liked, "habibti what about there?" She gestured toward the booth and led the way, there was a question of beverages and Ishana simply asked for water as the menus were handed out. "Let's see..." The pilot opened the menu, "mhmmm." Breakfast foods, Lunch and Dinner all seemed to be much in the way of most Corellian diners which she didn't mind. It would be nice to have a good meal before exploring the rest of the place. "What do you think?"

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Things always changed, even if one didn't witness it first-hand. Quesaya too had not remained the same and yet Kaalia was taken by surprise a little to see that the place that was once the Jumping Rocket was no longer exactly that. She felt slightly melancholic at the sight, fuelled by nostalgia. In a way, the place where Kaalia and Ishana met each other no longer existed. What was left now were the memories, but the redhead didn't find it difficult to make peace with that. In a galaxy where nothing ever stayed the same, it was important to focus on what was to come rather than the past. Hopefully the future held many more years with her wife to come.

Kaalia nodded. "Yeah, I could go for something to eat right now." Following Ishana into the diner and seeing the familiar layout of the establishment filled her with an odd sense of relief. Though the place still felt different from the last time she was here, at least a small bit of the spirit of the old bar remained. It was enough to bring back memories in a more vivid sense.

The short moment of introspection was interrupted by the hostess, bringing Kaalia back to reality. She looked around for a seat to take, but when Ishana pointed out the corner booth she herself couldn't find a nicer spot. "Looks like a cozy spot," she remarked, voicing her approval. The couple took their seats and Kaalia ordered a glass of elba water before opening the menu. As she read through the hostess informed the two of this week's special, the Quor'sav-fried steak. "Hmm..." They were given some time to think about their choice with the hostess walking off to get them their drinks. "I'm going for the weekly special, I think. You settled on anything yet?"

While waiting for the hostess to return, Kaalia looked around the place to take in what had changed and what was still the same. The Sabacc tables were no longer there, making way for more dining tables. The shady patrons of old made way for a more everyday crowd as well, creating a much more friendly atmosphere. "They did touch up the place quite well."

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

"Ronto wrap looks good, and um, I'll take a sprite," Ishana ordered and took in a deep breath and exhaled. "Yeah, yeah they did." Her voice seemed adrift as if she wasn't quite there her mind had left a moment. Her memories weren't quite what they were, to begin with and being there brought back little of the day that she had met her wife. Admittedly the atmosphere was soothing so she relaxed a bit in her booth. A casual glance at her wife and she smiled, even though she had no idea why - she just did. "Where, where did we actually meet?" Ishana inquired as she leaned her arms on the table. Their drinks arrived and they were prompted on appetizers of which Ishana at least declined.

"Cause I don't remember a thing," she admitted and settled back into her seat. A gentle wave of music from a jukebox played and Ishana shrugged, it wasn't her style but then she supposed it wasn't so terrible either. Absent-mindedly she bobbed her head to the music and wasn't sure where to go with the conversation and instead stopped to wait and hear what her wife had to say. A food runner approached to set their plates down, "okay this looks really good, and so does that." She gestured toward Kaalia's plate.

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Moments like this, when Ishana asked Kaalia where exactly it was they first met, were oddly difficult to get used to. The memories that the redhead kept so fondly and close to her heart had become fuzzy for the brunette. The moments they had shared having now become little more than a blur, it saddened her a little everytime she was reminded of that fact. However, the present wasn't gone. As precious as those memories were to Kaalia, the ordeal that was Ishana's death and return from the Netherworld provided her with a lesson she was slowly learning. The present was what mattered most and in that moment they were both here, together. Memories were to be cherished, but the present was to be lived in. And so, Kaalia was happy. Things were good now and tomorrow looked bright.

With that realization she smiled when Ishana asked the question, instead of the usual odd tinge of sadness she would often display. The woman looked around to orient herself a little, overlaying the mental image of how things used to be with the interior of now. "It was right about..." her head tilted just a little further to the left, until she suddenly pointed towards one of the larger tables. "There. That used to be the corner where all the Sabacc tables were, and that's how we met. I was uh, roped into playing a round and you went to sit next to me. That's how it all started."

The table that replaced the Sabacc table was occupied by a family, a set of parents with two young adults and a teenager, but it took only a second for Kaalia to see that one wasn't a daughter. A quick glance was shared between the 'odd woman out' and the woman next to her and Kaalia could already tell. "Aww, see those two? Cute." Even though she knew nothing about them, she hoped they would find as much love and happiness in each other as Kaalia had found in Ishana.

Their plates were then brought to the couple and the redhead had to agree, the food looked quite good. "That it does," she remarked as she grabbed her fork and knife to cut off a piece, "So I won't waste any time."

[member="Ishana Pavanos"]​

 

[Ishana Pavanos]

Ishana followed Kaalia's gestures and yet it meant nothing, even as she spoke with such fondness. Honestly? It broke Ishana a little more each time, every day - every moment she had ever had with this woman was ripped away in the blink of an eye. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled hard and looked down at her food. Suddenly, it was less appealing and so she asked for a to-go box. Her brows furrowed in frustration and as her eyes rose from the table they found Kaalia.​

​

The Balmorran swallowed hard before distracting herself with a casual glance toward the diner's patrons. "I wish I could remember," a tinge of sadness coated her words. "All I can remember are blurs, shades, colors at best." She knew there was a connection with the woman in front of her. She knew it from the way she felt when they kissed, when they looked at each other there was this unmistakable feeling of love. A look of frustration crossed her features and she clenched her fist in rage. Ishana wanted to slam her hands down on the table but thought better of it. "I need some air, sorry."​

​

She rose from the table and tossed a few credits down and headed out of the diner.​

​

It was right then and there, the moment she stepped out it hit her all at once. Like a bag of hammers had been dropped on her head, Ishana's knee hit the pavement first. Her head hurt and as she opened her eyes there it was - the blur of colors, portraits smudged and moving like a bad framerate. Slowly she rose to her feet the feeling in her heart felt like an open wound, "I'm... I'll be okay." ​

​

Kaalia Pavanos ​

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

The food was good and yet, something was off. Kaalia's attunement to the Force made it second nature to her to read the world around her through it passively, and what she saw was something that in the moment she described as melancholy. The source of that feeling was right in front of her and it caused the woman to furrow her brow as she put down her fork and looked up from her plate. She watched as Ishana asked for a to-go box and decided to ask the waitress for a second one. It didn't feel right eating by herself.

Ishana then opened up and with it came a wave of frustration and anger. They were feelings she had experienced in many other people, feelings Kaalia had become apathetic to. They weren't hers and it simply did not bother her, but now that she saw her wife in that same state of mind it took her aback. For the first time in a long time, the redhead was truly at a loss. There was always something she could do, solutions to be found through the Force or credits. But here, neither was going to do anything.

Kaalia remained seated for a second or two before getting up herself to follow Ishana outside, the last bit of distance closed with a sprint as she saw her wife drop to a knee. By the time she made it to the Balmorran's side she had gotten to her feet again. It was when the words 'I'll be okay' were spoken, that Kaalia suddenly realized the fault in her thinking.

This wasn't something she could fix. That didn't mean she couldn't do anything at all.

Kaalia walked towards Ishana and without having said a word yet, wrapped her arms around her wife. Whatever the pedestrians were thinking didn't even cross her mind, all that mattered was the support she could give to someone she cared about. "Miala..."

"It's okay to not feel okay. You know I am here for you. Anything you need."

She held her there, embracing her in silence for a few moments.

"Baash ala da."

I love you.