Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
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U N S E T T L E D

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Wearing: xxx
Judah had not been sleeping. Other duties had kept him from being part of the defense efforts on Empress Teta, but that had not meant the results of that conflict did not fill his mind. First and foremost his nephew had been there, and while Judah was glad Justice returned unharmed, he knew that could have been a different outcome. It bothered him that Just had insisted on heading to Tython, knowing the Maw were carving a path right for the world.​
Why Tython? It made no sense strategically, but the Maw had never done anything that made sense. Taking Coruscant would have been the right move, afterall it was where the Galactic Alliance held their seat of power. The core was theirs certainly, but it also put a target on their back. The Maw did not care about the Alliance, however. It was the galaxy they wanted. Life, death, rebirth. It was not a new philosophy by any means. Many great civilizations had fallen to those who followed such a dogma. It could not happen this time.​
He had lost track of how late or early it was. Judah only knew when he looked out the window it was dark. The gym had been his for quite some time, and for the moment the shadow liked it that way. Judah trained hard, hoping he would tire himself out enough to sleep. His brain simply did not stop, however. Even as he sat on the floor with his back against the wall, sleep refused to be stronger than his wandering thoughts.​
Cool, clear liquid slid down his throat as he lifted the bottle of water to his lips. It was refreshing, lifegiving. For a moment the Jedi pondered how something as simple as a cold glass of water was enough to bring joy to a thirsty soul.​
“It is a moment worth fighting for… living for… dying for…”
Judah knew he was alone so he allowed his thoughts to be voiced. Something was eating away at him. Tython was coming, and he knew something was bound to change. Memories of Katara flooded his mind more often than they usually did as of late. He missed her even more than usual, and the humor he used to mask the pain of her loss didn’t seem enough to keep people from noticing.​
He took in a deep breath before pouring some of the water over his head. The liquid cooled his head and washed some of the sweat from his brow. With the help of the force, Judah reached for his towel and wiped his face dry. There were those among the Jedi which thought his casual use of the force was undisciplined and disapproved of it greatly. The master did not care. Unlike some among the order, Judah never made the force a mystical religious thing. The Shadow saw it like he did most things, it was a tool to be used not any different from his lightsabers.​
Judah let the breath go.​
He needed to find his center.​
Pushing himself up off the floor, the Jedi found a more open space and began to perform the katas which his master Odin Gannick had taught him. It was the only way Judah could truly meditate, truly find his balance. No matter how late he would have to stay up, the Sentinel would find his center.​
 
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Location: Gym
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Outfit: Factory Link
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Tag: Judah Lesan Judah Lesan

Empress Teta had been difficult.

Every battle fought in the war against the Maw came at a price, and whether it was a victory or defeat, it was never an easy thing to get through. But this battle had been far more personal than any other. To leave behind the home she had started there with Kahlil, and force her crying daughter onto their freighter with the nursery droid... those images were burned into her soul. But the battle in the city itself hadn't been much easier either — together with her husband, she fought to protect many of the civilians who were trapped there still.

But not all could be saved.

In a fierce clash with the Maw, they ended up in the middle of a carpet-bombing raid, and after the loss of their home, they also lost parts of themselves. One of her husband's arms had largely been severed, and she lost several fingers along with some severe burns, cuts, and bruises. Considering the hell that hit them out there, it was mild, and almost a miracle they even survived. But there was very little time to rest and recover properly.

The Maw was coming for Tython.

So as soon as her fingers were replaced and her injuries had been treated, Valery was back to training, teaching, and helping out wherever she could. Circumstances forced her to pick up her life as if nothing had happened, but she couldn't avoid everything or constantly keep herself distracted. At night, sleeping had been more difficult, so in an attempt to get herself properly exhausted before heading to bed, she spent her evenings going through some personal training routines.

...

Entering the gym, Valery flexed her fingers and turned her eyes to the various machines around her, only to spot someone familiar going through something that had him deeply focused. Not wanting to interrupt Judah Lesan Judah Lesan yet, Valery quietly made her way over to the leg press and set everything up to get started. She was going for a tough workout she'd likely despise, but it would definitely help her fall asleep once she got back home later.


 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
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U N S E T T L E D

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble Valery Noble

He had sensed the moment she walked in. Judah had become familiar with the particular presence that surrounded Valery Noble. She was unique, though so was everyone, but her aura carried a flare to it that many lacked. Her sense of justice was one which would never bend, but it would also never be tainted.

Or so Judah thought.

Something felt slightly off. Perhaps it was because he was engaged in his forms and ritual, but the Jedi Master seemed to be picking up on something that was not typical with Valery. The recent battles had been weighing on all the Jedi. Not a single combatant was unaffected by the onslaught of violence which the Maw perpetuated. Yet, Valery seemed moved in a way Judah had never sensed before.

A smile pulled at his lips as he pulled the last kata to a close.

“You know you can never sneak into a room when I am around.”

Judah teased hoping it would make her smile, even if it was faint. His eyes opened as he turned to find her at the leg press. The stress and anxiety radiated from her in a near tangible manner. He motioned for her to join him.

“I promise you that is not the answer. Your heart rate is already elevated. There is enough stress on your body. I find that when I cannot focus or meditate that I need more than different kind of movement, but also a perspective shift.”

He paused for a moment seeing if she would join him.

“Trust me?”
 

Location: Gym
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Tag: Judah Lesan Judah Lesan

"You know you can never sneak into a room when I am around."

Hearing his voice, Valery stopped just a few seconds away from pushing her legs forward into the press. A smile struck her lips and after a single chuckle, she turned to get her legs out of the machine, and looked over in his direction, "I had a feeling you'd notice, but I didn't want to interrupt your... meditation?"

She got up to her feet and looked his way, her expression a bit tired but at least on surface level, the stress, and especially the guilt she felt weren't easily picked up on. But it was difficult to hide such emotions from other Jedi, especially those who knew her well enough. So the comment he made about her heart rate and stress didn't really catch her off guard too much.

"It has been a decent answer for the last few nights, but you're right. It's not a solution."

Walking over, Valery joined him in his little corner of the room and sat down, her feet in a lotus position while she looked at him and wondered about this perspective shift he mention. Then, he asked something, and it was the first thing that he said that surprised her a little bit today.


"Trust me?"

"I trust you..." she said, clearly a little confused. "Why are you asking?"


 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
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U N S E T T L E D

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble Valery Noble

Judah stood, prompting an extended hand to Valery. He did not say much of anything other than to make it obvious he was not simply inviting her to sit.

“Just follow my movements,” he said before starting the cycle of katas over again.

The master Jedi took his time as he moved slow enough for Valery to catch on. It was not physically exerting to move through the forms, but it was still a form of exercise. She did not need a work out to tire her out. Valery needed peace. Each step walked them through the cycle of life. Whatever guilt Judah felt washed away as he performed the motions. The only thing left was the one feeling he never seemed to be able to rid himself of.

Sorrow.

As the forms ended the two would face each other. Full cycle brought them back to the same pose they began with.

Judah sighed as he allowed his gaze to linger a bit too long.

“Master Ganick told me this is the cycle of life, and it simply repeats. We end where we begin.”

Another sigh saw Judah turn away and take a few steps away from the woman. It was difficult being with her at times because of how much her presence reminded him of his own loss. It wasn’t any one thing Valery had done, or even who she was as a person. He knew her happiness with Kahlil, and how he had the same once upon a time. She was simply a constant reminder of it all.

“I see a lot of her in you,”
he said. “With Tython approaching, and what may happen I cannot help but think about her. Maybe it will finally be my time to join her.”

He was being transparent. They had always been able to be honest with each other, and Judah could not bring himself to hide his pain at the moment. Sure he could flirt as he usually did, but Valery had long seen past that mask. If anyone knew how deep the wound was, it was her.
 

Location: Gym
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Tag: Judah Lesan Judah Lesan

For a moment, Valery stared at the extended hand, reluctant to accept it — her own method of dealing with her internal struggles was easier. It just wasn't a permanent solution. But she had been a Jedi long enough to know that she couldn't just keep going like this forever, especially not with Tython coming up and the consequences it could have for her, her family, and the Galaxy as a whole.

So finally, after a few seconds passed, she accepted the offer.

The katas themselves were somewhat new, but Valery had practiced other types of meditation that involved movement, so she caught on rather quickly and fell into the same rhythm as Judah. Then, as the cycle of life continued, Valery began to think about what she struggled with. At the battle of Empress Teta, she had lost her home, but that wasn't really difficult — she had never gotten attached to places, only to people. The thing she struggled with was the image of Vera crying in her arms while she was put on the Bastion for evacuation.

And knowing that she had picked Empress Teta because she believed it to be safe.


"Master Ganick told me this is the cycle of life, and it simply repeats. We end where we begin."

The corners of Valery's lips curled up into a faint smile, as the idea resonated with her. But she hadn't quite gotten rid of the lingering pain within her, and it showed as her expression faded back to something more neutral. Then Judah stepped back and sighed, which made Valery a lot more aware of what he was struggling with himself.

"I see a lot of her in you," he said. "With Tython approaching, and what may happen I cannot help but think about her. Maybe it will finally be my time to join her."

Valery frowned and shook her head, "There will be a day where that might be the case, but I don't think it's time yet. So much has changed for you recently... I feel there's more time, and something better on the horizon. Or maybe I'm just not ready to lose another friend yet," she chuckled softly in an attempt to brighten up the mood even for just a second

A sigh escaped her lips, but then she looked up at him again,
"Don't you die on me just yet, Judah."


 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
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U N S E T T L E D

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble Valery Noble

The Corellian simply nodded. Was the day coming when he would finally be reunited with Katara, yes. Was it now? For all he hoped, he knew it was not. Judah did not know how he knew, he simply did. There was much that was still required of him in a way, or perhaps the force had someone else he needed to connect with, train, whatever. For all of life’s mysteries, the will of the force was one Judah did not pretend to understand to any level of expertise.

“And yet very little has changed for me as well,” he replied with a smile, “and no… I am not about to die on you just yet. You just make sure you don’t die either, hmm?”

It seemed an odd thing to be discussing considering the fact they were about to head into the largest battle either of them would likely face. There was no other way to think about it as well. For months the Maw had made their target and intentions known. They were going to destroy Tython and remake the galaxy. Yet, Judah could not help but have hope that despite the bloodbath they were walking into, everything was going to be alright.

“It isn’t your fault you know,” he finally said after letting some quiet pass between them.

This time Judah did let his back hit the wall before sliding down to have a seat. There was no sense in walking through the katas another time, not when they both had certain thoughts so fresh on their mind. Perhaps they both simply needed a friend, someone they could talk to without fear of being judged.

Valery had not always been that friend. When they first met the Jedi judged everything about Judah. His mannerisms, how overly flirtatious he seemed to be. Even his last name had brought a wrinkle to her nose at first. Over time they had learned to appreciate the other for who they were. It had been huge for them both considering Judah was very much like his namesake from the days of the Old Republic.

They trusted each other. That had to include their fears, dreams, wants, and weaknesses. Nothing about who Valery was would chase Judah away. She was hard on her students, but even harder on herself. Everything was her responsibility.

“You could not have anticipated what the Maw were going to do. The force does not ever show us the future with that much clarity.”

He knew she knew everything he was saying. Judah was certain she had even taught this same lesson so many times she could recite it in her sleep. Still, every Jedi needed to be reminded of how the force worked, even masters.

“She’s safe because of what you did. That’s what matters.”
 

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Tag: Judah Lesan Judah Lesan

"I'll do my best," Valery said with a soft smile. While the Force couldn't offer complete clarity about the future, she always had this feeling that things were going to be okay for her and those close to her, even with a battle like Tython on the horizon. Similarly, she once felt the opposite way about someone she cared about, and be lost his life not long after.

Valery then finally sat down again and listened to him, a slight frown still present on her features. She knew she couldn't blame herself for what happened, but taking responsobiliy was just in her nature.


"I know, I just..." She sighed again and looked down at the floor for a moment.

"There was no way I could know what would have happened, but I should have been more careful. I felt the core was safe but Coruscant should have proven me wrong. I..." She stopped and ran a hand up through her hair. "No, you're right, and Vera is fine. Kahlil and I do everything we can to keep it that way."

Her fiery eyes finally shifted back to Judah, and she began to smile a little again, "Thanks, I know it's going to be okay. I just can't help but worry a little too much for those I care about. Both friends and family."

She leaned back a little and drew in a long breath, "But only time will tell, hm?"


 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
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U N S E T T L E D

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble Valery Noble

“You just what…”

Judah sounded way too much like a father and a master in that moment. This was supposed to be a conversation between friends, but Judah could not help but feel she needed to hear it. He listened to her as she continued and rationalized her way to the place she needed to come to. Vera was safe and she did do what she could to keep it that way, her and Kahlil. Valery was a good mother, and she needed to know that at her core.

A smile pulled at his lips. The woman was endearing when she wanted to be, and for once Judah was not ruining by being an ass. This was about the moment he would usually make a comment about how great her butt what or the appeal of her chest, but Judah was way more skilled in reading a moment than he let on. In fact, Judah was much less “Judah” when he was with those he counted within his inner circle.

In short, Valery saw more of who Judah truly was than most.

Judah let his own sigh out as his head pressed into the wall a bit more.

“If only you weren’t married,” he confessed, but stopped short of finishing the thought.

It was not a secret Judah liked Valery. He certainly had never hidden the fact from her. The Jedi had also made it clear he was not about to do anything about it. She was married after all, and at the end of the day she deserved her happiness. It was simply a truth that existed between them, whether Valery felt the same way or not, or would even allow herself to wonder. Judah preferred her friendship than nothing, and the more time passed the more he counted her family.

“I shouldn’t I know… missing her is not the only thing the imminent battle seems to have me thinking about.”

Judah paused for a moment as he looked down, fixing his eyes at some random spot on the floor.

“When we part company for the night you have Kahlil, Vera. I am going to an empty room to be alone with my thoughts. Solitude is not all it’s cracked up to be.”

He chuckled.

“It’s like a part of me is missing with her gone.”
 

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Tag: Judah Lesan Judah Lesan

The whole situation with Vera and losing their home had been one of the most difficult things for Valery. The balance between being a mother and a Jedi had been put to the test many times, and she had struggled a great deal before. But with the guilt she felt over this, nothing else quite compared. Because what meant the most to her was the safety of her family, and that had been compromised.

It reminded her of the time Kahlil fell to confront his father, and nothing about their future together was certain anymore. The sleepless nights, the pain, and the longing to see him again safely with her... she never wanted to go through that again. Now, she had Kahlil helping her a lot to get through the current situation, and combined with this conversation between her and Judah, it did help her feel better.

Then, a moment of silence fell between the two, and Valery finally felt some relief. But then Judah asked a question that caused her head to tilt slightly, and a brow to raise.


"If only you weren't married,"

"Careful there, he's going to be picking me up later," she half-joked. Kahlil did pick her up from training, but she didn't think anything was going to escalate from his comments. She also knew where they came from, and even though he sometimes went a bit far with it, he didn't push anything to where she'd be really uncomfortable. The one time he crossed the line too much, he did get slapped for it.

The man then opened up a little about how the loss of his wife affected him, and she knew that's where a lot of his comments stemmed from.


"I understand the way you feel — I've lost a lot of people I care about. And even just the thought of losing my husband..." she stopped herself there, frowned, and looked at the ground. It was too painful to go down that rabbit hole for her. As strong as she was, handling loss wasn't something she did well, not after everything she had gone through. The bond and love she had for Kahlil and Vera also ran even deeper than any of those that came before, so it was a difficult topic. "But we can't let fear control our lives, and while there is no easy or quick solution to solitude, don't give up hope that something can change. I'm sure there is someone out there for you as well if you're ready for it."

"Until then, you do have friends, so you're never truly alone."



 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
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U N S E T T L E D

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble Valery Noble

“We both know I’m not about to muck that up,” Judah chuckled.

Valery was too honest. There was also part of Judah that did not want to think as she thought. Had he tried moving on, yes, but in truth there was a large part of him that did not want to. Any relationship he had since Katara passed had been short and marked with Judah simply disappearing for a time. Some would say he was afraid to allow himself to feel that strongly again, so quick and easy things seemed to be the safe way out. Whatever the reasoning for it, Judah had never truly found someone to love in the way Valery suggested he might.

Her words elicited a shrug. He wanted to talk it through but at the same time he did not. Judah tried to force a smile and nod at the nugget of truth she offered. As long as he had his friends he would never truly be alone, but it was not the same as having his family. Justice was around, but he was not JJ, Katara had passed, and Aspen, there was simply no relationship here thanks to how Magena had been.

Maybe the old ways were the better ways. It was a thought that faded as quickly as it came. Valley’s happiness was proof they were not, and the memories Judah cherished told him his thoughts were a lie. Judah just needed to value them for what they were.

“How are the prosthetics? Used to them yet?”

Judah wiggled his left fingers to indicate they were not original to him either. He’d heard about Valery’s injuries through the rumor mill. Something that ran rampant before and after any battle. There would be some getting used to with any replacement, but the time before the Maw reached Tython would be limited. They were a battered and beaten force with no time to lick their wounds. War was with them, a decisive victory was needed. They had to hold the Maw back.

“Mine were before my children were born. It’s sad, but a time will come when you don’t even remember life any other way.”
 

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Tag: Judah Lesan Judah Lesan

"I know," Valery said with a soft smile.

It was somewhat clear to her that the topic of loss, loneliness, and moving on was difficult for him, and she couldn't blame him for it either. If something ever happened to those she cared about the way he cared for Katara, she wouldn't be able to just move on either. Some people just find a way into your heart, and even time can't truly heal the pain of losing that deep connection.

So rather than keeping that conversation going any longer, she went along with his question and allowed the topic to shift.


"Mostly used to them," Valery answered while she flexed her fingers and looked at the wedding ring that sat around the ring finger. During the battle, it had been severed in a carpet bombing raid while she tried to shield some trapped civilians against the explosions, and the ring finger, in particular, had been found by Kahlil. It must have been a horrible thing to see — it certainly would have been to her, but luckily the two were always able to feel each other through their bond. "It's still a little strange though, but I can't complain. Kahlil lost most of his arm, so a few fingers in comparison is fairly mild."

Valery then looked over at his hand, and nodded, "But you're right, I'm sure we'll get used to it with some time. There are too many other things to worry about or focus on too, so the distraction is always there. Now it's Tython and our family, but whatever happens there... I'm sure this war is far from being over." She flashed a quick smile but the idea was difficult to process.

"Once Tython is over and life is settling down again... I do think I could use a short vacation," she added with a chuckle. "But we'll see if the Galaxy allows it."


 

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