Chaos Cookbook

[Kuzo]

Chaos Cooks​

Chaos, apparently, has a number of fine and outstanding cooks and bakers! So after some discussion (and much drooling), we thought we'd make a thread for recipe sharing and swapping!

Please post your favorite recipes here! If you have the original source, please include that as well, whether it's a certain cookbook, website or food blog! That way if folks like the recipe, they can easily go search out more from the same place.

If you try one of these recipes and have feedback, feel free to post that here as well. Make sure the folks who shared the recipe with you feel the love!

Note: Not every recipe will be something everyone likes, and that's okay! If you think a recipe doesn't look good, then obviously don't make it! But please don't come here with a 'gross!' comment- Don't think you'd like it? That's cool. But don't yuck someone else's yum.

 

[Zeradias Mant]

Only for the most experienced of chefs

Spoiler

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

I'm quite new to baking, but I've had some success with a few modified recipes. I sort of cobbled this one together and it turned out absolutely delicious. My kid can't have egg, so I used a flax egg instead.

2 cups white flour
3 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
¾ cup sugar (plus a little bit)
1 flax egg (1 tbsp ground flax, 3 tbsps water, pre-mixed until goopy)
⅔ cup milk
1 serving (foil-topped plastic cup) applesauce, or ½ cup crabapple puree
¼ cup vegetable oil
1 tart medium apple, finely chopped
3-4 tbsp cinnamon (plus shake some on each muffin before baking)


Bake at 400 for 17 minutes in a large muffin tin.

 

[Fatty]

Sometimes I put milk in with my cheerios

 

[Macharius Solaire]

Shooter Sandwich. AKA: Meatbread.

x1 Sourdough round bread.
x1 Bacon pack of your choice.
x1 1 lbs. package of extra lean ground beef.
x1 3 sausages (Whatever kind you want but usually packages are in 5's, buy it anyways cause it's delicious.)
x1 Cup of chopped mushrooms
x1 Green pepper.
x1 Cup of chopped red or Spanish Onion.
Parsley chopped, don't overdo it.
Cheddar cheese, Mozzarella cheese, Velveeta cheese. All grated.

You bought all that, good. Prep time.

Take that bread and cut a lid (hole) in the top, about the size of your fist. This may vary, use your judgement. You'll be putting that crust back over top so don't screw it up. Right, now hollow that thing out. Scrape it down to the sides but don't punch a hole in the sides or bottom. Save that bread for latter.

Fry that meat up. Use 1 pan for the ground beef and another for the bacon, then use the bacon pan for the sausage. Mmm bacon flavored sausage.

Dice up those veggies, small while your frying.

Turn on oven to 350 on bake.

Grate that cheese to the level of cheese you feel comfortable with.

Alright, everything's preped, or should be. I don't know if I missed a step or not. But you smart folks can figure this out.

Take everything but the bacon and about 1/2 the bread you took out and throw it in a large bowl. Mix it up. Get sexy with it like the new Pokemon game did. Ok don't get sexy with it, this is cooking. Done, good.

Take yer bacon.

Layer it along the bottom and sides of the interior of the bread round. Save some for the top.

Stuff as much as you can into that thing. You may have to use your first to beat it in. But don't break the round.

Top bacon layer.

Put that lid on you cut out from the top on.

If you have leftovers, + that bread. Eat it now to tide you over cause we're gonna take a lot of time next step.

COOKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, throw down a sheet of tinfoil on a cooking rack at the lowest level. Put your delicious meat bread on a rack in the middle. Let it cook for 30-35 minutes.

Play the new Pokemon while waiting.

Times up, remove from oven.

Wrap it in a layer of tinfoil.

Wrap in a billion additional layers of tinfoil. (6-8 more should do but be wary for thar be danger ahead now)

Take that foil wrapped monster and find something heavy to put on it that won't fall over. squish it down as flat as you can with that weight and godly muscles. Great, won't get any flatter? WRONG. More weight. Does this sandwich even lift? No, but you can act like it should. Gte about 100 to 150 ish pounds sitting on top of that foods. If your tinfoil broke add moaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr foil. Let that samich sit for a few hours.

Been a while? Caught some Pokemon? Sweet wanna trade?

Ok, more questions. Are you hungry now?

No: Put it in da fridge. When you are, follow the yes answer.

Yes: Remove foil down to 1-2 layers. You no longer need 11 billion layers unless structural integrity is in danger of failing. Add a fresh layer if so. Fire up the oven again, this time to 400. Throw it in there. Your just heating it up. 10-15 minutes until it's hot. Pull it out. Let it cool.

Cut out a 1/4 and eat it. Don't mind the mess.

WARNING: A shooter sandwich has 100 trillion calories in it. It's made for hunters out in the forests. So if your watching your waist, I wouldn't cook this.

Also, I'm sure you can Google for some more formal recopies of a Shooter Sandwich. I made this from 4Chans fa/tg/uys board so ya, it's rough on how to make it.

 

[Kuzo]

Every week we do B&B (Bake and queen) at my house. With a rotating roster of friends, we make both one new and one familiar recipe each week. This past session a friend of mine with serious grain allergies joined me, and I had to think outside the box for things we could make. One of those things, while not technically baking, is one of my favorites.

Lemon Curd is smooth, sweet, puckery and magical, especially considering how simple the ingredients are. Use the best eggs and butter you can get- because they contribute so much, it really matters here.

I've adapted this recipe from Food in Jars. This recipe makes 4 half pint jars. This recipe can be safely halved, or doubled. Technically, you *could* water bath can this, but it messes with the texture and this keeps longer in the freezer anyway.

Pick lemons that are heavy for their size. To get the maximum amount of juice out of fresh lemons, leave them out at room temperature, do not put them in the fridge. Then, right before you are ready to get started, roll them between your hand and the counter for a couple seconds, pressing hard (but not hard enough to squash them completely, no one will be impressed, I promise). The rolling breaks down the fibers in the fruit, allowing more of the juice to be easily released. Zest and juice as usual.

Irajah's Lemon Curd

1/2 cup grated or slices lemon zest (about 4-5 large lemons)
2 2/3 cups granulated sugar
8 egg yolks
4 eggs
1 cup lemon juice (3-4 large lemons)
12 tablespoons cold butter, cut in to cubes.

Combine lemon zest and sugar in a bowl. Rub the zest in to the sugar until combined and set aside for at least 15 minutes, and up to an hour.

Set up a double boiler. Add two inches of water to the bottom pan and set to a simmer. Keep the top half of the double boiler off of the stove. The top pan needs to be room temp for the next part.

Combine egg yolks and whole eggs in the cool top of the double boiler and whisk together. Add the zest/sugar mixture and whisk in. Add lemon juice and stir until blended.

Add the butter and put the top of the double boiler over the simmering water. Switch to a silicone spatula or wooded spoon. Constantly stir the lemon curd until it thickens- this will take 6-12 minutes. It will be thick enough when it coats the back of the spoon/spatula without dripping off. It will thicken further as it cools. It should have approximately the texture of sour cream when it's finished cooking.

Remove the top pan from the heat. Push curd through a fine mesh sieve in to a large measuring cup (4 cups or larger) to remove the zest and any stray bits of cooked egg.

Ladle curd in to jar, leaving a half inch of space if they will be getting frozen. Allow to cool before putting them in the freezer or fridge.

Lemon curd lasts a month or two in the fridge, and easily six months in the freezer. To thaw, just move from the freezer to the fridge about 24 hours before desired use.

*****

What can you use this for?

​Spread it on toast, scones or other baked good.
Make thumbprint cookies with it.
Spread in a baked tart shell and top with whipped cream or raspberries for a super quick, super fancy dessert.
Stir in to yogurt or granola.
Top ice cream with it.
Eat it directly out of the jar with a SPOON.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Mine cost money :l [member="Irajah Ven"]

But here's one of my favorite mousse cakes, any questions just PM me... also Gianduja is chocolate containing 30% hazelnut paste >_>....ie: fancy nutella.

Spoiler

Milk Chocolate Mousse Cake

Mousse:
8oz Gianduja Chopped
2oz Dark Chocolate 56&
1 ¼ chilled heavy Whipping cream
1/8 t salt
3T H2O

• 
  Melt chocolate till smooth (both Gianduja and Chocolate) Cool till lukewarm
  
• 
  Whip cream and salt till soft
  
• 
  Mix 3T H2O into chocolate
  
• 
  Fold cream into chocolate mix till incorporated
  

Caramel with Frangelico
3/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons butter or margarine, cut into chunks
1/2 cup whipping cream
1/4 cup hazelnut-flavor liqueur

• 
  Make caramel
  
• 
  Mix in booze
  
• 
  Mix in cream
  
• 
  Let cool
  

Candy Oranges

• 
  Combine H2O and Sugar and boil
  
• 
  Add Orange slices
  
• 
  Boil till liquid is thick
  
• 
  Remove and bake till hard
  
• 
  Chill
  

Crumble

• 
  Cookie crumbles with sugar, butter, flour, graham cracker crust consistency
  
• 1 inch - 1 ½ inch thick

 

[Allyson Locke]

If you have an ice cream maker...

Spoiler

Miso Buttersctoch Ice cream


Crème Anglaise Base:
4 cups Cream
10 egg yolks
2/3c Granulated Sugar
(Omit vanilla – instead we will be replacing it with the Miso Butterscotch)

Miso Butterscotch:
100g White Miso (shiro)
65g Packed Light Brown Sugar
67g Mirin
Splash of Sherry Vinegar
58g unsalted butter at Room Temp.

1. 
   Heat the oven 400°F
   
2. 
   Spread miso in a thin and even layer on a silpat-lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 10 mins. (Leave in longer if it’s not dry, should have some caramelization on it.
   
3. 
   Let miso cool briefly so it’s easier to handle, and then scrape into a blender jar. Add rest of the ingredients and blend till mixture is homogenous and smooth.
   

Making the Base:

1. 
   Scald the cream and remove from heat
   
2. 
   Add yolk and sugar together and whisk to blend, pour the heated cream into the yolk mixture in a steady stream while stirring to help avoid curdling. Be careful to not add air into the mixture – it’s not meant to be bubbly.
   
3. 
   Add mixture back into the sauce pot over a low heat , do not boil or simmer. Stir occasionally till the mixture thickens into a nappe.
   
4. 
   Remove from heat and pass through a fine mesh strainer, into a chilled container on an ice bath. Let cool.
   

Ice cream machine:

1. 
   Once Anglaise is chilled, transfer to an ice cream machine. Spin into an Ice cream and once finished the product will be smooth and creamy. Transfer to a chilled container, cover with plastic and chill.
   

>_> Just realized I explained this better....lawwwwlllll I'll rewrite the other - its from my drive that I keep as my recipe book for work ^_^; [member="Irajah Ven"]

 

[Kuzo]

[member="Spencer Varanin"] Miso Icecream, I am super intrigued!

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

Easiest peanut butter ice cream recipe ever. I stole the base off a website and added two things

• 1/2 a 397g can sweetened condensed milk
• 600ml pot double cream
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 6 tbsp smooth peanut butter
• 1/2 tsp whiskey

It's a simple make to be honest. Get a bowl, add the condensed milk, double cream and vanilla extract. Mix well with an electric whisk, until thick like clotted cream. Add the peanut butter and whiskey, combine and freeze for like four hours to overnight. This stuff freezes well though, so feel free to stir it every hour or so but it shouldn't need it. If it does overfreeze, twenty second blast in the microwave before serving should do it.

Edit: The whiskey can be omitted, just thought I'd mention.

Double Edit: To make in to straight whiskey ice cream, remove the peanut butter and use 3-4 tbsp of whiskey instead, try before freezing and adjust where needed. Figured i'd mention that for those of us that are legallly able to drink

 

[Kuzo]

For the Americans in the audience, they don't sell double cream here generally. Heavy whipping cream has a slightly lower fat content, but will sub okay in a recipe like this. Thanks for sharing it with us [member="Kei Garnik"] !

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

You don't get double cream?

Well, in that case. Any recipe you see from me with double cream in it, you're generally rather safe to use Heavy Whipping Cream. I'll leave a note if the case happens to be different.

 

[JD Lykaios]

At some point I'll probably post the recipe for what I just call 'family soup' (I can never remember the actual name, and the recipe has been passed down for three or four generations now, so...), but for now I'll just post my dad's 'secret' pancake ingredients:

• Generic pancake mix (either your preferred store brand or something homemade, for you fancier folk)
• A pinch of nutmeg (it'll take a few tries to figure out how much you'll personally want to use)
• A few drops (or more, depending on how many pancakes you're making) of vanilla extract/pure vanilla/whatchacallit

Just mix in the nutmeg and vanilla at the same time you mix the other wet ingredients with the dry ones and you should be good. Nothing too special, really, but guaranteed to satisfy two needy children*.
*AKA my brother and me, the people my dad most often made the pancakes for. I can still remember how happy I got when I woke up to the smell of vanilla and nutmeg coming from the kitchen<3