Choices

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The message to the Jedi Order was a short one. A short explanation as to why Graxin and a number of Jedi Masters had willingly recalled all support from the Republic and the Order itself. The Jedi Order had regressed into a perverted image of its former self. The code was no longer held in esteem. Wisdom was no longer held in esteem. The Republic was falling, and people outside of the Republic needed the Jedi just as much as those within.

As such, Graxin had led the 'rebellion' as some were calling it. Those Jedi who shared his belief were already on Ession, preparing the liberate the world from its corrupt dictator. Graxin himself had taken a detour to the world of Tatooine in order to meet with a contact concerning a holocron. That talk had gone rather well, and the errant Archlord now wandered the quiet streets of Mos Espa with the holocron of Sharn Backow in his coat pockets.

He was dressed in his usual robes, albeit with some minor durasteel armoring. The Jedi Lord armor was still being designed, and his Jedi would have to make due with the traditional look for now.

Rade made his way to the single hanger bay that housed his ship, the Mephirium. It was an older model, but one that had served Graxin well in his many years of travel. He drew back his cowl as he walked into the open roofed hanger, and tilted his head back to stare up at he starry sky. He would be joining the Reformation soon as its leader in both military and political happenings.

The responsibility thrust upon his shoulders dizzied the young man.

He shook his head sternly, and turned to walk toward the ship. The hanger was empty--or it was supposed to be-- save for a few droids. It was only when he stopped at the landing rap to stride up that he sensed something amiss. His hands fell toward the blades at his hip, and he froze.


[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

It had taken him a few days to track down the man Varus had studied with and befriended a few months ago when he'd begun training to become a Jedi. He was tired and his patience had been drawn to a thin line at that point, but he still knew that he had to use caution when approaching the man. That's why, when he entered the hanger a few minutes before, he'd done so using the set of skills he'd developed over a young life of hiding and evading the eyes of those who would retrieve him for a violent purpose. He was good at hiding, and when he wanted to, he would not be heard, but his abilities in the force, though strong, were not honed.

He knew Graxin would pick his signature out easier the closer he got to the man, but it wouldn't matter when he saw him. All Varus cared about was that he wasn't seen coming, and that at least had been a success in his search for the man who'd given him one of his most profound training sessions he'd ever experienced. One that he and Orron would never forget, though he had chosen not to bring Orron along this time. This time, he'd come alone, more than prepared to defend himself if he needed to, though Varus had picked Graxin out for a level headed man from the moment they'd met.

"Is that any way to greet a friend?", Varus asked as he pushed off the crate he'd been leaning against for only a few minutes. As he did, however, he didn't display the happy smile he typically did, especially when seeing a friend for the first time in a long time.

​

His eyes were dull and his hair was unkempt as it typically was left to be. He wore a face covered with scruff and his demeanor was lax, as if he didn't want to be there any more than anyone else did. This was just another moment in his life that he was doing something selfless, making sure that what Graxin was doing was for him, and no one else, as he knew that influence often times resonated in only the necessary sacrifice. The used.

Sith were a perfect example of such blind ambitions. They were loyal to a Lord or Master, and only that being could tell them what to do or how to act under their tutelage. They were often times trained, honed into weapons, and when those weapons became blunt edged or broke they were discarded and another, sharper killing tool was adopted by the same, manipulative, puppet master. Thus was the cycle of the Sith, and if Varus had to guess, it wasn't something all too uncommon for the rest of the Galaxy. Women were used up by men who would sell them for money just like gamblers would willingly throw their fortunes away at the nearest casino to a man who designed and dictated the very games that ruined them.

It was a certain cycle of life that Varus had been lucky enough to avoid. A cycle that absorbed the willing and spat out almost all of them when they were chewed up and dry, the exception to the standard being only those with the will and the determination to make themselves the man behind the curtain. The man pulling the strings.

He'd been worried that his friend had become something so little. Something so confused and directionless that he was actually blindly catering to another, though he knew it hadn't fit Graxin's personality to begin with. Even then, Varus had to know what was going on. He had to hear it for himself. He had to hear him say why, and when he had he would decided whether he'd had a good reason and whether or not he should share the location and the intent of Graxin Rade.

"Long time..."


[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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It took the Knight Errant a moment or so to recognize the boy. Graxin had never been the most adept at using the force discern individuals; telepathy was a skill he would never have any talent for. He dealt in the physical realm, in the realm of blade work and the casting of fire, not in the minds of those unlucky enough to stand against him. Though, it was more than the force that kept Varus under a veil of anonymity. The boy looked older, more like a man than he had when Graxin had taken to teaching both him and Orron.

Both were marvelous students. Both understood the concepts of the force and its relation to the Jedi Order. Both were above the heretic teachings of Grayson and her ilk.

Unlike Varus, Graxin broke into a wide smile. He was genuinely pleased to see the young man. Rade always cared for his students in one way or another, and Varus had proven himself to be more than competent. He'd shown the making of a true Jedi, and that was worth more than the entirety of the mainstream Jedi Order put together. Graxin wanted to see Varus--and Orron-- prosper. Become true Jedi Knights. He only hoped the boys weren't already under the sway of the Grandmaster's childish lies.

"Varus!" His arms dropped from the sabers, and Graxin broke into a brisk walk toward the young man. He thrust out his right hand, and if Varus would take it, he would pull the Padawan into a short hug. "How've you been my boy? Where is Orron?"

Graxin knew why the Padawan was here. He knew the Order would come for him in one way or another. He had been the Emperor's Hand, and then put down that very Sith Lord. His own mother had thought he was claiming the title of Dark Lord and starting his own order in the unknown regions. While the latter was true, Graxin's heart was one of a Jedi Knight. He had become a stalwart defender of the Light, conquered his temptations with the death of Darth Vulcanus, rallied the Graug, and gathered the like minded master aboard the Ge'hutuun. Together, they would redeem the Jedi Order.

Perhaps Varus would join them...


[member="Varus Shatterstar"]


[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus finally allowed a smirk to show in the corner of his mouth as he reached out and took Graxin's hand, accepting his short, half shoulder hug before taking a step back and looking the man over for a moment. He continued to hold Graxin's right hand in his own as he patted the man's right shoulder with his left hand. He then broke the grip and let his smirk become a smile as he realized that despite the man's chosen direction in life and path in the force, he hadn't changed much. He was still friendly and outgoing and carried a certain air of confidence that called people to enjoy his company and respect him as a leader. That was why Varus appreciated being seen as an equal to such a man, realizing that Graxin would make a great General in times of war, leading by wise word and by example when times were tough and moral was all but lost.

"I've been fine, Graxin. Just fine.", Varus said with confidence in his voice as he glanced from the Knight to his ship, his icy eyes glancing over the older, yet from what he knew, reliable model. It was one of the finest models he'd had the pleasure of working on when he was nothing more than a speeder shop mechanic a few years prior. It would withstand the test of time, and when you needed it the most, it would keep on kicking.

The mention of Orron drew Varus' attention back to Graxin, his blue eyes setting on Graxin's as he thought for a moment just how he should respond. As he did, he displayed a bit of a somber look, as he said, "I didn't invite Orron along this time.", admitting that his reason for coming and finding Graxin was not for fun or to be taken lightly at all. He knew that Orron would have taken something like this seriously as well, but there were things that Varus did that he didn't want his him to know. There were things he couldn't share with Orron for fear that his dealings would reach the ears of the Council, and the last thing he needed was to get back to Ossus and realize that he had been found out. That would only lead to explusion from the Jedi Order or a long, tedious punishment in the form of endless work and study, being left out of missions and being fixed with a partner so that an eye could be kept on him at all times.

He didn't like the idea of being watched, especially when what he was doing was justified, at least in his eyes. "I couldn't involve him in my seeking you out.", Varus admitted, watching Graxin's eyes and displaying a bit more serious a look as he divulged what left he had to say. "I needed to know what kind of man you'd become. If you were being lead blindly or following your own path.", he said, still watching him carefully to make sure that his reaction would be in alignment with Graxin's typical character.

"I wasn't sure whether or not we would embrace or I would have to defend myself, and so I chose not to put anyone else at risk."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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No doubt Grayson's loyalists were spreading lies about him to their fellows. Graxin had taken a large portion of the Jedi Order's Masters when he broke away and created the dissident faction of the Jedi Lords. None of these masters agreed with the current direction the Jedi Order took. They believed in the old code, believed that rules should be more strict, believed that the Jedi were to serve the galaxy and not one singular, dying government in a galaxy full of them. The Order's duty was to the people, not politicians.

The realization that Varus was prepared to fight him cut Graxin deeper than it should have. Had the Jedi elders truly painted him in such a demonic light? It certainly wouldn't be the first time, and he had long since learned not to put anything above what those elders were prepared to do. When Graxin told the galaxy his story on Ession, in front of the galaxy, all would know the atrocities the Jedi Order of Grayson had committed. They would know that a child could not lead the entirety of the Order without a ruling Council to keep tabs on his or herself. It was wrong. It was a dictatorship.


He met Varus's gaze, sharp amber eyes flickering with the faintest trace of yellow at the center. It was a remnant of Darth Vulcanus--Graxin had taken his very soul, crushed it, and chained the Sith Lord's spirit to his own. It was the only way to keep Krag from teaching more acolytes as a specter of the force--Graxin was his eternal jailer.

"I understand." Graxin spoke barely above a whisper. He took a step back from the boy, and folded his arms over his chest. His lips pressed into a thin line, a look that he used to contain the storm of righteous judgement brewing within him. There was so much he had against the Order, so much it had done...Varus had to know.

"I can assure you Varus, I am no Sith Lord. I would never lay a hand on you or any of your brothers." Graxin began his monologue. He strolled over toward the ship, and ran a gloved hand over the dusty exterior. "It is true that I killed Vulcanus and hold the only claim to his title of Dark Lord, but I've forsaken that path. I am a Jedi, one of the last true Jedi left in the galaxy."

Graxin paused mid-step, and turned to face the Padawan. "This Order that we followed is perverse. Wrong. We aren't meant to serve the Republic. We're meant to serve the galaxy, save whoever we can, and bring order to the wayward systems. There is so much of the galaxy under control by the Sith--the elders don't understand. The Moross, the Imperials, the criminal organizations, they're all tools of the Sith, Varus. The One Sith is imploding, my sources within have confirmed such."

The Knight breathed a quiet sigh. "Grayson's Order has forsaken the Jedi Code. They've become a tool of the Republic, and nothing more. They're blinded by their own arrogance. The galaxy needs us, not only the Republic...Grayson disbanded the Council to establish equality. Tell me, why is she still holding a position of authority then? Why has she removed all her possible rivals on the Council for the sake of 'equality'? Why does the remainder of the Order follow every word a child gives without question?"

Graxin lofted a brow, and folded his arms over his chest. It was clear he had thought about this for quite some time. "I and the remaining followers of our code broke away from Grayson's influence. We're going to save the Order. We're going to establish peace across the galaxy, destroy the Imperials, end the Sith, unseat the false gods, and set ourselves back upon the path laid out by our fore bearers. The Council will be reestablished, the government will be allowed to see Jedi business and vice versa." The Knight paused for a moment. He shook his head, and when he did speak, his voice was far more strained. Emotional. "We won't send our Padawans to die on the steps of the Sith Palace because they disagree with our opinion."


[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus watched Graxin as his demeanor changed to a more solemn and somber one. His voice was softened and his tone was as serious as it could have been in that moment. When he began to speak, Varus watched as the man strode over to his ship and placed his hand against it. As he did, in the effort of reading the man and making sure that he was telling him nothing but truth, Varus slid his hands into his pockets and followed him over to the ship. He then stopped in front of Graxin, turned and allowed himself to fall with his right shoulder into the ship so that it propped him upright. He then crossed one leg over the other, getting comfortable as he listened to the man, his icy eyes looking over the man's face and paying close attention to the characteristics he let on as he shared his words.

As the man ended what he'd had to say, Varus nodded to him, glancing away for just a moment as he collaborated his own response. It was something he wanted to take care to do as he realized that someone's word was all they had, and to be truthful and wise with one's words was something boundless in value. To be able to speak to people and instill confidence or influence them to do great things was truly incredible, and that was the type of man Varus wanted to be. He knew that leading by example was important, but knowing what to say and how to say it was just as important, if not more so.

It had been recent that he had decided he would become a leader one day among the Jedi, realizing that whether or not he wished to be granted such responsibility made no difference. He may not have wanted to be the deciding factor in whether someone fought or retreated in a battle. He may not have wished for the power to call in a strike or leave drop ships in the hanger. It might not have been something that he would ever want, in fact, but he knew that he would be making important decisions one day, in one way or another. Granted or not, people would look to him for guidance, whether it was the eyes of a Padawan that looked up to him in admiration or the hearts of hundreds that thumped to the beat of his morale quenching speech ready to follow him into a mist covered field of battle, blood and sweat molesting their nostrils as they descended upon the enemy.

"I see...", Varus said, thinking about what Graxin had said for a long time, looking down at the hanger floor between them. He thought about what the man had said, realizing that there had been some differences about the current state of the Jedi in the Rebulic that he thought would have been different. He was surprised that there had been no Council of Jedi, and if what Graxin was saying was true, there was a big problem in allowing one person to call the shots for an entire collective of Jedi.

It was no empire, and there was no Lord or Lordess of the Jedi, but from what he'd heard that Graxin had to share, he seemed to think that everything came down to one person who worked a certain magic concealed by a curtain of influence. A certain Jedi named Kiskla Grayson, a woman Master he'd heard a lot about. Mostly good things, though from time to time he had heard bits and pieces of criticism at her expense that painted a negative picture of the woman. Something that Varus himself hadn't had the chance to really examine himself in order to form his own opinion of the situation, though he did have thoughts to share with Graxin none the less.

"So why give up on the Jedi Order and force a separation of power?", he asked, looking from the floor back up to Graxin's eyes, noting the shimmer of yellow in the recesses of his iris. "Why stray with the other Masters who agree with you instead of bring a case to the Republic for reform? Why not ask for Kiskla's removal from the Order or request that she be separated from her seat of power with legal action on a fair, political playing field?", he asked, realizing that politics were rarely fair.

"Does she really have so many in her pocket that you couldn't make a stand and see change from the inside of the faction rather than splinter it into two?"

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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The question Varus had presented was one that had been asked of Graxin many times as of late. People wanted to know why he had not moved for on internal reformation instead of splitting off from the main order. These people had not been around for past events within the Order, or had simply turned a blind eye. The errant Knight and his fellows had been at the epicenter of it all--some leaving the Order for its lack of morality, others for the discarding of the old ways, and even more had been cast aside for holding different beliefs than Grayson's council at the time. Graxin Rade had been apart of the latter.

He met the boy's gaze as Varus approached. The Padawan was suspicious; that was to be expected. The majority of the Order likely painted both he and his counterparts heretics. In the eyes of its corrupted elders, to leave their order was a sign of corruption rather than intolerance. Intolerance was what drove Graxin to such extremes as leaving the Jedi Order. Inaction was the catalyst. Internal corruption had burned the final bridge leading back to the Order. Even if he wanted to, Graxin would likely never be able to return--and he did not care.

How to best convey this to Varus? The Padawan was a recent commodity in the Order. While he was known by most of the Jedi's diminishing number, he was not seasoned like the Knights and Masters he learned from. Varus was not present when the Order showed its true colors--when Graxin's allies had tried for change and were met with persecution. He would need to convey this to the boy without insulting him.

"The Republic is corrupt. If there is one thing I have learned in my time within the Order, is that democracy is a wonderful thing, and the Republic rarely follows its practices. It is driven by credits, by the desire for territory, and war. The Jedi should not support such a thing. I and the other Masters are creating a system that rules by morality rather than self-gain. Our allies feel the same. The republic is a dying beast, Varus, if not to the One Sith then the Mandalorians. There is no hope for it." Graxin explained. He maintained a somber expression, but whatever hints of sadness that had remained in his voice were gone now.

There was a short pause. Graxin's gaze drifted from the young man's boots to the top of his head, seeing what the Padawan had grown into in his absence. "You haven't been around long enough to see what's happened, Varus. Master Denko and his allies tried for change--they were dismissed as paranoid idiots. We've tried for reformation twice, and all we've recieved in return is a child atop a olden throne and the loss of the majority of our great Masters. They've all fled the Order Varus, because they saw what had happened to it."

"The only option is to leave and refound the Jedi Order. To recreate our great Order of old. To defend all, to spread peace and security across the galaxy. To hold true to our doctrines."....Graxin sighed. "Before the Council was disbanded, the One Sith led an assault on Ossus. I had only recently joined the Order. Our people were being slaughtered, and for nothing more than a holocron. A holocron we never should have had in the first place. So, when it became apparent that every Jedi in the temple was going to be slaughtered, I chose to act. I gave the Sith their holocron--one filled with nothing but old philosophy-- in exchange for the attack to cease. The Sith held their end of the bargain, Ossus was saved."

The Knight frowned and said nothing for a long moment. No one outside the Jedi Council knew what happened after the holocron was taken. Some within the Order hailed him for following the code. The majority saw him as a traitor for choosing to save lives over pointless history. "Grayson personally tasked me with marching on the Sith Palace on Coruscant to retrieve the holocron. Home to the Sith Emperor. The Council agreed wholeheartedly. I was barely a Knight, starry eyed and only trying to follow my teachings....so I followed their orders. There, I was struck down near death, only escaping because of the kindness of a Dark Jedi."

Graxin shook his head. "They glassed part of Gratos too. The Graug were evil at the time, yes, but there were millions of slaves on the planet. Half of them, some friends of mine and the other Masters, were obliterated under the Council's cleansing hand. This is not the Jedi Order, Varus. Do you really want to follow these people?" He sighed "Come with us, you and Orron. You're smart young men, independent, good people at your hearts. Can't you see Grayson's Order has fallen willfully from our ways?"


[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus crossed his arms over his chest as he stood thinking about what Graxin had said. His eyes glazed over as he diverted them from the man's face, deep in thought as he searched the force for answers. As he did, he weighed both the state of the Republic and it's Jedi Peacekeepers with the claims of a man no more virtuous than anyone else among the Order, from what he could tell.

In honest truth, Varus didn't know enough about the situations long passed that Graxin was referring to, so he took what the man shared with a light heart and realized that some of what he was saying might have been skewed based on personal opinion. At the same time, however, Varus realized that Graxin was also an honest man, despite the basic human preference to agree with yourself and hold bias for certain situations. He knew that Graxin was telling him the truth, or at least, what Graxin perceived to be the truth. That was something that held value to Varus, the simplicity of honesty, especially when his heart was being tried by such things like a splintering Jedi faction and idealistic Leaders of men attempting to influence his direction.

"I understand that things are not at all the way they used to be, and from my studies in the archives, there has been a great deal of change that has befallen both the Jedi and the Republic they've been called to serve.", he stated, his eyes flickering with life once more as he raised his gaze back to Graxin and watched him as he responded to the man's claims. "I can't say for sure that I agree with what's going on, and I'm not certain what could be done about it had you not lead some of the others away to begin anew, but I can say this...", he started to say as he first took a glance around the room to make sure that they were alone.

"No one can recover from an illness without proper medication.", he said, watching for the man's reaction and realizing that it had nothing to do with what Graxin had been talking about, at least it didn't seem to. The errant Knight was a very intelligent man, however, and he was sure that he would begin to understand what he was trying to say as he continued to speak.

"No injury can be recovered and no bone set right without proper medical attention. No heart can be pieced back together if left alone and no loved one can be given piece without time to grieve of love and life lost.", he claimed as he allowed himself to roll back against the ship so that his back was flat against it and his eyes now looking out over the hanger. "The Republic needs men like you, whether or not it is the subject of such greed and deception as you've said that it is. It's not going to get better over night, and if Jedi like Kiskla are to blame, then something needs to be done about it, but I must say that I disagree with your course of action as it only weakens us to move on from this day divided.", he then said, though he was young and his experience was clearly nothing compared to the Knight next to him.

"I don't know how I could ever be expected to stand against other Jedi like you.", he then said, this time looking truly concerned and almost depressed at the realization that those more prone to violence among their kind might seek to do war. At that, he understood that Graxin and himself might be called to stand on opposite sides of just one line drawn between them, and he wasn't sure that he could do such a thing.

"I could never fight you, or for that matter Orron... or Kian... Corvus... Kana...", he started to name Jedi he'd grown close to, including and perhaps most important to him, his Master Kian.

"I know you're not asking me to go to war with my friends, but what if I were to say yes?", he asked, turning his head and looking over at Graxin with that same concerned look on his face. "Would my Master become my enemy? Would my friends become the bad guys? Would the Republic be no more in need of revival than it already is?", he questioned again, continuing an onslaught of doubt and uncertainty that he could continue if he were so inclined, though he'd prefer to hear Graxin's response to such things first.

 

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So the boy thought Graxin planned to go to war with the Order? The Knight almost snickered. It wasn't arrogance that brought about that response, but simple amusement--Kaigann had thought the same when the boy excommunicated himself from Grayson's order. The similarity to the two Padawans' thinking was, oddly enough, quite funny.

"You don't need to agree with me. We've chosen to act rather than wait on our corrupt leaders to take us further away from the path. If you choose to remain with them, that is your choice Varus. However, know this, they will only toss you aside the moment you fail. You, Kian, and your friends are only tools to them." and it was true, in Graxin's mind anyway. They had proven as much many times now, and those Jedi that defected had seen it all as well. There was no hope for the Republic.

"The Republic is a mistake. I will not support a government that holds credits over its citizens' lives." the Knight continued. Graxin had tried...so very hard to help the Republic. He and his fellows had exhausted themselves in their attempts--but Varus wouldn't see that. He was too used to the doctrines of Grayson's Order, Graxin saw that now. He had hoped the boy would see the truth of things like so many others, but Varus had already made up his mind. Graxin knew that much.

Still, he would answer the Padawan's questions.

"The only way you'll stand against us is if your Masters deem it so--and they will. They're going to sick you on us, eventually, and we will defend ourselves. We care about more than our own survival." He motioned upward with a gloved hand, up toward the stars. "We've saved Gratos. We preserved the Graug race, when the Order would have made them extinct. We are freeing Ession as we speak from a tyrant. Our Padawans are learning the Jedi Code, and following our old ways...I would be damned before I willingly took a step backward, Varus."

He sighed, and let his arms fall to his sides. "Your friends could come with us. The Grand Temple is being built on Ession...Our Order will return to its ways, and prosper."


[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

"Don't misunderstand.", Varus said, glancing back over to Graxin after hearing the Knigt's response and realizing that, at least from what he could gather, he seemed to think that Varus was blind to the things that had been happening. Nothing got past Varus, and it was true that the Republic seemed to be gathering tension. He could sense that there was dissension and distrust brewing within some of the Jedi who served the Republic, and even he had to agree that without a body of Jedi Masters to lead them they would become something else entirely.

Interests would clash and Masters would try one another, straying from feeling in the force and relying on their wisdom to resort to political debates and in fighting if things didn't change. That was where he and Graxin agreed, and he knew full well that Kiskla Grayson couldn't lead the Jedi alone, for she would face dark influences without the wisdom and council of the other Masters to balance her heart and set her mind at ease when wartime decisions and politics became involved.

"I don't believe that you would ever choose to go to war with the Order of Jedi in the Republic, and I should hope that they would not choose to seek your order of Jedi out for the same, but I can't say that I couldn't see such a thing happening one day in the future when patience has worn thin and the paths of the prideful cross.", Varus said as he raised untucked one of his arms from across his chest and raised it to scratch the back of his head as they spoke. "I will never fight you or your Jedi, Graxin. I would never go to war with a Jedi who intended to do the same good for the Galaxy as I.", he claimed as he drew his arms back across his chest and tucked either hand under his biceps.

"In fact, I will come to the aid of your Order and fight for you in times of war and strife if you'd have me at your side when you need your allies the most, but I cannot turn my back on Kian and join you. At least...", he said, trailing off for but a moment as he looked away from the man and thought for a second more before he finished. "Not until I see these atrocities which you speak of with my own eyes. And only after I've done what I can to try and influence the change that you could not. Only then will I take my leave, and when... if that time comes, I hope that I am not the only one who sees the Republic for what it has become."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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The relief that flooded Graxin now surprised the Knight errant. He had high hopes for both Varus and Orron; few Padawans showed such raw talent and dedication. Even if they remained with Grayson and her Order, they would do some good, and eventually they would see the flaws. The cracks were growing into canyons, and where the Jedi had bee able to walk over them without issue before, they would begin to fall through them now. If Varus needed to see these crimes for himself, then Graxin would give him his blessing. It was the least he could do for the boy.

"I would expect nothing less from you Varus. You are no blind follower. If you need to see it for yourself, then by all means, take my blessing." Graxin tilted his head back and cracked a wide grin at the young man. Varus was an idealist, but so was he. The boy reminded Graxin of himself as a Padawan, the difference being Varus's maturity and ability to make bonds with other members of the Order. Other than the masters that had joined Graxin, he had never created any meaningful connection with any of the other Jedi. Except Varus and Orron, it seemed.

The Knight slumped back against the ship. He sunk down to the dusty ground, and hugged his knees close to his chest. "We'll help with the One Sith where we can, but we have our own duty to take care of, at least for now." he murmured. "I would impart one last piece of advice, though I'm sure others have already told you it before...if ever a Master denies you answers, search the archives. Look through the old texts, and they will show you the light. They were all that guided me through me training. Kept me sane when the other Padawans looked at me with disdain."

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus let himself slide down against the ship as Graxin had and came to sit next to him the next moment. He raised either of his arms and propped his elbows atop his knees, lacing his fingers together as he stared out across the hanger while he listened to the Knight. He sat there like that for a time, thinking about his conversations and training sessions with the Jedi he'd already begun growing relationships with. He thought on these occasions, wondering if any of them had ever given him the feeling that they were withholding something from him. As he thought, however, he couldn't quite place a moment that he'd ever felt that way around any of them, which he couldn't deny concerned him.

Had he been missing things? Had he allowed himself to become blinded by ideals he hadn't shared before the day he'd met Kian?

He couldn't tell anymore what to believe, knowing that Kian hadn't lead him wrong, but also not able to be certain that the direction of the Rebellion was the right one. No one could lead the Jedi alone, and as he trained and learned from Kian, he realized how folly such attempts at guiding the Jedi without the assistance of a Master Council would be. It would be impossible for them to hold conference or for the opinions of all the Masters to be taken into account when it was the opinions of only a few that really mattered.

"We are not Sith.", Varus said, still looking out over the hanger. "We cannot position one to lead a thousand. We do not rule... we serve.", he said, rocking his head back against the ship gently and allowing his eyes to slant to a close.

"I have a lot to think about, and even more questions to find answers to, but I can say this.", he said as he glanced over at Graxin.

"I am a Jedi, and that means wherever the just would require my aid that is where I will be. Whenever the weak need help to stand, I will apply necessary aid. If at any time the Sith rise again and bring war to the Republic, the Jedi Order or your reformed Jedi brothers, that is where I will be.", he said, sounding a little preachy, but meaning it with all of his heart. He said it with a soft smile on his face and finally he looked away from Graxin, realizing that they might not have seen perfectly eye to eye, but as Jedi they were still allies, at least in his eyes.

"You need only to call on me and I'll find a way to come to your aid, whether I'm alone or followed by hundreds."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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There were certain things Graxin could have said then. He could have tried to sway the young man to his side--sides now, that's what it was. To him, there were Jedi, and the Republic's order. Already he separated them in his own mind, whether that be for his own comfort or a true belief even he could not tell. He surely would have tried to sway him if it was anyone other than Varus. The young man was intelligent and independent, beyond Graxin's influence, which was fine. Better the boy make his own decisions than change his life on the words of a one who might one day be seen as mad rather than a reformist.

"You know I will always welcome you Varus." Graxin mumbled earnestly. If he had been twisting his words to sound more truthful or sway the Padawan's opinion before, he certainly was not now. "As will my brethren. Just know, I can't walk with your Order any longer. I was never one of you. I was an outcast from the day I walked into that great hall on Ossus, and no one ever gave me the chance to belong." The Knight offered a small smile. "You on the other hand, have that chance. Whether that is with my people or Grayson's is up to you. I only hope the decisions of your elders don't hinder you or Orron."

The older man reached over to clamp a hand on Varus's shoulder. "When I pass on, I hope you will be around to question things. To keep the Order on the right path. To keep the Masters from becoming absolute rather than a guiding force, as they should be." His grip on Varus's shoulder faltered, and he breathed a quiet sigh. "I don't think I have much longer to live, Varus. My body was subjected to Sith Alchemy at a very young age and the effects are beginning to take their toll. I will Knight my Padawan, teach what I can, see my sister through as much of their training as a I can...after that, I don't think I'll have the strength to stave off the inevitable."

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus had been thinking about how he might respond to Graxin for a time as the Knight spoke. He was trying to figure what he should say when he heard the last bit that the man had shared, noting that he didn't think he had much longer to live. That moment, the expression on Varus' face changed from a concerned and thought riddled one to an almost appalled look. He was still concerned, but something that he'd heard hadn't sat well with him, and he he addressed it immediately as he glanced over at the man next to him and narrowed his eyes.

"So that's it?", he questioned the man, eyes narrowing just a bit further as he examined the look on his face. "I don't think I have much longer to live...", he repeated, quoting Graxin and looking away from him and out across the hanger again. He sat there, staring for a time as he could feel anger tickling at the back of his mind for having heard such a thing come out of one of the bravest men he'd met thus far among the Jedi. It annoyed him and played at his patience as he thought of what he could say in response, but for a long time he'd been made speechless, those moments filled with silence and inner thought.

"You're just going to give up and pack it in then?", he asked, looking back over at the man, his look having softened a bit, though he was still disappointed with having heard what he had.

"That just doesn't fit your personality at all. I've never known you to just give up or give in.", he said as he feet slid out from under him so that his legs fell straight against the hanger floor and his hands folded into his lap. "Whether you die or not, you can't just give up.", he said, looking down into the palms of his hands as he flexed his fingers and thought about the work ethic and determination he'd instilled in himself. "In a Galaxy where there is infinite possibility and boundless knowledge, there's bound to be a way to fix this..."

"What is done can always be undone.", he said as he glanced back over at Graxin. "Nothing's final. There are accounts where men have lost their lives and their souls have returned to another form... a clone or some other body prepared for their essence to carry on in."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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Graxin breathed a heavy sigh. He had look into all the options, seen the solutions, and had come away disturbed and disgusted. The act of transferring one's body to that of another was...wrong. It was disgusting. It went against the will of the force, perverted its very nature so that one might live. Years ago, he might have been compelled to attempt it, but certainly not now. In answer to Varus, he pulled off his glove. The skin underneath was heavily charred and blackened. Runes of the old Graug priests were embedded in the gnarled flesh. "This cannot be undone. I've tried many times. It might be the source of my illness, though I honestly don't know entirely."

He paused for a moment. "I have no intention of giving up. I still do my duty to the fullest extent. No matter how few days I have left, I will continue to serve. It's just...I've looked into the solutions for this, Varus, and they're either of the Dark Side, or wrong." The Knight nodded to emphasize his words. "What you're speaking of, essence transfer, I know the basics of how to do it. When I was a Sith Lord, it was my fallback plan, but looking at it now...it's wrong Varus. When your time comes, you should accept it. Accept the will of the force. Denying it and forcing your spirit to hollow out another body flies in the face of every tenant we as Jedi stand for. Accepting your time when it comes is something we simply must do."

He bit down on his lower lip, and fell silent. The possibility at his own death through a disease was something he had shared with no one--until now. In truth, Graxin was terrified. He felt slighted. It was unfair that after a life of struggle, he would perish to such a quiet thing. After serving Sith Lords and standing against the Jedi Council's wishes for his death, it was wrong. Still though, he would never deny the will of the force. If a solution presented itself, he would take it, but transferring his very soul....No.


"I continue to look Varus, but I have duties to my Jedi and the Reformation. If I fail to find a cure, then I've come to grips with my own mortality. Don't mistake it for giving up, my friend. I'm just prepared for the possibility."

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus shook his head as he heard Graxin's words, disagreeing with some, not all, of what he was saying. He agreed that to rob life of another in order to maintain physical form as a vessel for your soul was wrong. Taking the body that belonged to someone else was a vile thing born of a carnal need to survive, but there was a difference when clones were considered. Clones were the product of one's DNA grown at accelerated speeds until they reach the age of adulthood. He had to believe that the lot of them didn't even have conscience or a will for life until they open their eyes and become aware. Even then, it's not certain that they even posses souls as they are a reimagination of the real thing.

"I think that you should grow a clone for this purpose, Graxin.", Varus said as he continued watching his hands in his lap. "I can't claim to know, but I like to think that cloning as an idea was originally conceived for something like this. A replica vessel of one's self, unconscious and for all we know soulless. Even more healthy and able than the original.", he explained for a time before glancing back over to Graxin.

He was almost certain that the man would find some reason to disagree. Possibly the prospect that even a clone had a soul had crossed his mind, but if that were the case then it was a soul that would have never existed if not for the idea of recreation and possession of the new form to begin with.

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

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Varus would continue to try and convince him, Graxin knew he would. The boy had too much of a good heart, and that might come back to bite him one day. The Knight tilted his head toward Varus, and listened politely. Truly, his mind was already made up. Graxin knew most of what was necessary to transfer his essence to another living vessel--that wasn't the issue. It just wasn't something he thought he would ever be able to accept. Such a twisted take on nature seemed wrong, not to mention that Graxin was no legend. The force sparked within him, though its strength was average at best. He never was, nor would he ever be, any kind of prodigy.

"I'll consider it." He lied like a master politician. He even sighed as if he were contemplating the possibilities. Graxin offered Varus one final smile, and pushed up to his feet. "You are always welcome in our space Varus. Your brethren...we'll have to see."

He jerked his head toward the inactive vessel . "I need to get a move on."

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus rolled his head back against the ship as Graxin pushed himself up from the ground. A short huff, which was meant to be something of a sarcastic laugh left his mouth as his eyes narrowed a bit, staring across the floor of the hanger they were in. He was always thinking and contemplating like that, his mind always hard at work whether he was planning out his next day of training, running over the knowledge he'd attained in the library or even thinking back on the conversations he'd had with other Jedi and Civillians. He thought about the interactions he'd had with others quite often, picking out similarities in their tells, and more and more he was realizing that when someone was lying to your face, it wasn't unlike someone bold face lying to you in a game of Sabacc. That was something he knew would become a valuable investigative skill to him one day, but then and there he was unhappy that Graxin himself had seen it necessary to lie to him as well.

As if Varus wasn't mature enough or ready to hear the truth, which may very well have been the case. He still felt too much as a Jedi. He still allowed himself to be hurt by mere words that meant only as much as those who received them allowed them to mean. An insult. A compliment. A lie...

Maybe he wasn't ready to hear every truth, or for that matter, realize just how much the Galaxy was reliant on lies and deceit to survive. To function. Perhaps he'd never be able to handle it, and he was certain that he'd never outright accept it, but in that moment he'd supposed that he hadn't expected it from those who actually meant something to him. Those who's names he knew. Those who's live held meaning to him, though every living creature he cared for, those he knew held that much more weight.

"We haven't known each other long enough, I'm afraid, but I still hold you in high regard.", Varus said first, finally drawing his eyes away from the hanger floor and looking up at Graxin. "I count you as a brother, personally, though I'm aware that such a thing might be beyond you. That I understand.", he said as he leaned forwards and pushed up from the floor to stand in front of Graxin, looking down at the slightly shorter man. "What I don't understand is how you could lie to me so easily, and for that matter, how you could be so bad at it.", Varus said, a half smirk, half frown finding it's way to his mouth as he forced himself to smile before reaching out and patting the man on the shoulder.

"Farewell, my friend. I'll always be here, both when my blade is needed, and in spirit.", he said, letting his hand slide from the man's shoulder as he slowly turned and began to walk away, leaving the man to his own devices. Varus had places to be for the time being, and when he was done, he'd busy himself with more rigorous training, but he, like Graxin, had no more time for talking. It had been a short, yet enlightening trip. He just hoped that something he'd shared with Graxin would take root in his heart. He hoped that something... anything, rather, would instill change for the better. It's all he could hope for.

The better...

"May the force be with you, Graxin.", he whispered as he slipped into a dim lit hall and exited the hanger.

[member="Graxin Rade"]