Confetti Cannon (TM)

[Kyyrk]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To sub the greatest weapon of all time
• Image Source: Still taken from this video
• Canon Link: N/A
• Primary Source: N/A

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Voph
• Affiliation: Open Market
• Model: Confetti Cannon
• Modularity: Yes, can load different colors of Confetti
• 
  Production: Mass-Produced.
  
• Material: Cannon Components, Confetti

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Cannon
• Size: Very Large
• Weight: Very Heavy
• Ammunition Type: Confetti Burst
• Ammunition Capacity: A bunch
• 
  Reload Speed: Extreme
  
• Effective Range: Point Blank
• Rate of Fire: Very Low
• Stopping Power: None
• Recoil: Extreme

SPECIAL FEATURES

• Joyous Occasion: If one does not exist, firing the Confetti Cannon (TM) shall create one. Confetti!!
• Shiny: The Confetti glows in the light. Ooh sparkle.
• Oomph: The cannon is devastating across short ranges. Bad moods beware!

Strengths:

• The ultimate weapon: This is the weapon that shall bring peace to all nations. Cuz cmon, who doesn't love confetti?
• Healing spray: The weapon does not harm, but fills its target with love and hope and peace and joy (are you vomiting yet?) and excitement and...
• Big boom: You can't fire off a cannon without a loud boom. It's just...underwhelming man.
• Discreet mode: for those times when you wanna celebrate, but you gotta be quiet.

Weaknesses:

• Big Cannon: It's big. Takes a while to move it anywhere.
• Heavy: No matter how hard you carry your team, you still aint buff enuff.
• No tactical use: For a cannon, it's surprisingly useless in the realm of war. (Not that it's supposed to be used there anyways)
• Short range: The cannon sprays confetti all over a small room, but not much else. You gotta be up close and personal with this puppy.
• Boom: WHAT? WHA'D YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SOMEONE SHOT A CANNON BY MY EAR!
• Clean Up: Have you ever tried to clean up Confetti? Chit gets everywhere, I tell you. Everywhere. Like you think sand is course, gritty, and it gets everywhere. Homeboy sit down and shut up, I'm here to talk about our lord and saviour Confetti.

DESCRIPTION
It's late. Midnight was 2 hours ago, but you know what, I've been busy at work. Didn't have a chance. I SHALL NOT BE DETERRED FROM JOINING IN THE FUN. Seriously, Approve this or archive it, I don't care. The fun has been had. Happy April Fool's Day erry'one.

 

[John Locke]

Archiving at member request

 

[John Locke]

Moved to Factory Archives - If you want to remove from the archives, please feel free to tag [member="Gir Quee"] or [member="Jairus Starvald"].