Approved Tech Consort's Ring

[The Battalion]

• Intent: To craft The Battalion's Engagement Ring

• Image Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ruby_ring_photo_by_by_bfishadow.jpg

• Canon Link: N/A
• Permissions: N/A
• Primary Source: Cult of the Brain Demon

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Laertia Io
• Affiliation: The Battalion
• Market Status: Closed
• Model: N/A
• Modularity: No
• Production: Unique
• Material: Phrik Alloy (Alchemized), Lignan Crystal

SPECIAL FEATURES

Enables both Laertia and the Battalion to become slightly faster in close proximity to one another by twice their normal speed within seven meters of each other and they speak telepathically over greater distances

Enchanted to allow any Lightsaber the Battalion holds to do extra damage to her own cult

Nearly indestructible

STRENGTHS

Unholy Matrimony: This ring Grants The Battalion a number of benefits by remaining in a 7 meter proximity to Laertia: She and Laertia are slightly faster in combat by 2X and can communicate telepathically over much greater distances

Traitor Bonus: As long as the ring is worn, due to enchantments it was created with using The Battalion's own blood (which is a sterile white color like that of all Cultists), any Lightsaber she uses is infused with the rings magic, which is capable of severely damaging any Brain Demon Cultist it encounters, as the magic the Lightsaber is infused with reacts to the flesh of the Brain Demon Cultists due to both their magics being based on the same source. But the ring MUST be worn or this effect won't occur. Brain Demon Cultists can still be killed without it, but wearing the ring makes it much easier.

WEAKNESSES

Force Voids: Won't function in them

Divorce Clause: If The Battalion betrays Laertia, the ring will never function for her again. The betrayal has to be outright as the ring itself is tethered to Laertia's spirit...and it will sense harm emotional or physical, done to Laertia if it occurs. the Battalion will have it instantly stop functioning no matter where she is. The betrayal must be a true and sincere betrayal, however...their must be no extenuating circumstances or it will keep functioning.

It's essentially functioning off its bond to Laertia's mind for this latter effect to work, as it is Laertia who truly shuts the ring effects down, rather than the ring deciding on its own, as it is not sentient. This is powerful enough that it can function from across the Galaxy...

DESCRIPTION

The Betrothal Ring given to The Battalion after House Io was officially formed, The Ring is enchanted to provide a number of benefits by remaining at Laertia's side, and an insurance policy against her own cult.

It is also a symbol of the authority The Battalion wields within House Io...her authority is second only to Laertia herself...

 

[Krass Wyms]

The Battalion

Alright lets begin

When in Proximity to Laertia, greatly increases the strength and potency of The Battalion's Dark Side Abilities

Enables her to better sense Force Adepts attempting to hide themselves when in Proximity to Laertia.

When in Proximity to Laertia, the Battalion heals extremely quickly and vice versa.

Unholy Matrimony: This ring Grants The Battalion a number of benefits by remaining in a 35 meter proximity to Laertia: Her Dark Side Powers are enhanced, she can sense Force Users hiding themselves better, and both she and Laertia heal extremely quickly from even very severe injuries over the course of 14 minutes together

This is going to have to be cut down. 35 meters is a fair distance from each other. Even yasalimiri force nullifying bubbles only went five meters on their own. THe amount of benefits is also going to need to be reduced. INcreasing the potency of their force powers like a force bond doable. Her being able to sense better and enhance her senses sure but cloaking detection would be determined by the one doing it. The healing factor is a no, you have them almost becoming invincible when close ot each other and that has the most abuse potential.

Enchanted to allow any Lightsaber the Battalion holds to do extra damage to Sithspawn and her own cult

Traitor Bonus: While worn any Lightsaber the Battalion uses does immense damage to Sithspawn...and any in her own cult...

This will require some more explanation, how does the ring know if someone is in or isn't How does it determine sithspawn? These would denote a form of sentience which brings the question up about how much?

Divorce Clause: If The Battalion betrays Laertia, the ring will never function for her again

Again this will need further explanation.. what constitutes betrayal? How does the ring measure it as a metric?

 

[The Battalion]

Edited stuff and explained it more, Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

The Battalion

Unholy Matrimony: This ring Grants The Battalion a number of benefits by remaining in a 7 meter proximity to Laertia: Her Dark Side Powers are enhanced, she can Force Sense range is doubled and both she and Laertia are slightly faster in combat

the enhanced speed will require a factor. As with previous subs from Listib 2x seems more then fair.

Traitor Bonus: While worn any Lightsaber the Battalion uses does immense damage to Sithspawn...and any in her own cult... This is due to Laertia using a sample of the Battalion's blood and Molecularly Bonding it with the crystal, channeling the Enhanced power into any Lightsaber used. Since it's the blood of a Force Spawn that partly fuels the rings potent effects, it reacts strongly to them upon contact with a blade, and since it's the blood of a Brain Demon Cultist, that goes especially for other Brain Demon Cultists

"But ask me the secrets of Sith alchemy, and I would ask you for three measures of blood: one from a person you love, one from a person you hate, and one from yourself."

Do all of these cultists share the same blood or a connection that can determine what or who they are? The same with sithspawn as they were made by various users and used largely different blood or methods... that isn't even going into sithspawn that have no blood like reanimated corpses or ones infected with the sickness where their blood became more a slurry for infection. You added a little explanation but the basis of the capabilities is flawed and opens a lot more questions about how powerful the ring actually is.

Divorce Clause: If The Battalion betrays Laertia, the ring will never function for her again. The betrayal has to be outright as the ring itself is tethered to Laertia's spirit...and it will sense harm emotional or physical, done to Laertia if it occurs...

Again this is not explaining a lot... you are giving the ring a level of sentience to determine emotions and what about heat of the moment? WIll it register such things? The more intelligent a force object the more scrutiny it undergoes and this is verging towards darkstaff levels of sentience. This might not be able to move systems in time and space but it is obviously intelligent compared to more mundane force objects.

I want to try and get this approved but there are a lot of issues that should be addressed and I would honestly recommend going back to the pre-factory. Wedding bands that grant bonuses are commonplace on chaos it is true but there usuaally bestow a benefit sometimes two this bestows several and it is across the board. I would narrow it down to a benefit they can share and one that is personal rather then speed, power increase, extra damage to one source, extra damage to another, enhancing senses.

 

[The Battalion]

Made further edits to explain the traitor clause, and edited out it doing damage to any Sithspawn except those in her own cult, and added the 2X bonus thing and changed its other strength to simply being able to communicate over much greater distances telepathically, Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

The Battalion

The enchantments of the ring detect the proximity of another Brain Demon Cultist and Automatically infuses any Lightsaber she holds with the deadly magic necessary to harm them

So can these brain demon cultists be harmed without the ring?

Divorce Clause: If The Battalion betrays Laertia, the ring will never function for her again. The betrayal has to be outright as the ring itself is tethered to Laertia's spirit...and it will sense harm emotional or physical, done to Laertia if it occurs. It's not truly sentient, as it is Laertia who will register the betrayal and transmit that betrayal to the ring, and basically shut it down (It's essentially functioning off its bond to Laertia's mind for this latter effect to function, as it is Laertia who truly shuts the ring effects down, rather than the ring deciding on its own)

What is the limitations of this bond? Can she affect the ring from across the galaxy?

 

[The Battalion]

Added clarification in both sections, Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

The Battalion

Alright and we are back with the factory officially reopen

Traitor Bonus: While worn any Lightsaber the Battalion uses does immense damage to any in her own cult... This is due to Laertia using a sample of the Battalion's blood and Molecularly Bonding it with the crystal, channeling the Enhanced power into any Lightsaber used. Since it's the blood of a Force Spawn that partly fuels the rings potent effects, since it's the blood of a Brain Demon Cultist, it can affect other Brain Demon Cultists, as they all share the same kind of blood and empowered by their worship of the same spirit (All of their blood is a sterile white color as a result). The enchantments of the ring detect the proximity of another Brain Demon Cultist and Automatically infuses any Lightsaber she holds with the deadly magic necessary to harm them. Without the ring, it is impossible to create this effect

Divorce Clause: If The Battalion betrays Laertia, the ring will never function for her again. The betrayal has to be outright as the ring itself is tethered to Laertia's spirit...and it will sense harm emotional or physical, done to Laertia if it occurs. It's not truly sentient, as it is Laertia who will register the betrayal and transmit that betrayal to the ring, and basically shut it down (It's essentially functioning off its bond to Laertia's mind for this latter effect to function, as it is Laertia who truly shuts the ring effects down, rather than the ring deciding on its own). This is powerful enough that it can function from across the Galaxy...the Battalion will have it instantly stop functioning no matter where she is. Thing is the betrayal must be a true and sincere betrayal...their must be no extenuating circumstances or it will keep functioning.

You have answered and done as needed but these are just frankensteined with added sections. Please clean them up and clarify for an easier read.

 

[The Battalion]

Cleaned up and clarified as best I could, Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

The Battalion

Thank you

And I will repeat myself again

The enchantments of the ring detect the proximity of another Brain Demon Cultist and Automatically infuses any Lightsaber she holds with the deadly magic necessary to harm them

So can these brain demon cultists be harmed without the ring?

Traitor Bonus: While worn any Lightsaber the Battalion uses does immense damage to any in her own cult... This is due to Laertia using a sample of the Battalion's blood and Molecularly Bonding it with the crystal. Since it's the blood of a Brain Demon Cultist that partly fuels the rings potent effects, it can affect other Brain Demon Cultists, as they all share the same kind of blood and empowered by their worship of the same spirit (All of their blood is a sterile white color as a result). The enchantments of the ring detect the proximity of another Brain Demon Cultist and automatically infuses any Lightsaber she holds with the deadly magic necessary to harm them.

Without the ring, it is impossible to create this effect.

Divorce Clause: If The Battalion betrays Laertia, the ring will never function for her again. The betrayal has to be outright as the ring itself is tethered to Laertia's spirit...and it will sense harm emotional or physical, done to Laertia if it occurs. the Battalion will have it instantly stop functioning no matter where she is. The betrayal must be a true and sincere betrayal, however...their must be no extenuating circumstances or it will keep functioning.

It's essentially functioning off its bond to Laertia's mind for this latter effect to function, as it is Laertia who truly shuts the ring effects down, rather than the ring deciding on its own.

This is powerful enough that it can function from across the Galaxy...

Removing a sentence is rewriting I suppose but you took out clarifying if it is sentient or not.

Please take your time, answer ALL questions, make ALL edits and then tag me. I get things can be overlooked but this is becoming tedious and seems like everyh edit is one step forward and three steps back.

 

[The Battalion]

Have clarified that it is not sentient and that Brain Demon Cultists cannot be harmed by its effects unless worn, Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

The Battalion

I see alright

I am going to be honest with this. THis has been a mess, from a super OP ring that gave god mode essentially we managed to get it down to something resembling decent and balanced... but I have been waiting for and hoping you would get to the conclusion on your own. Nothing can be invincible, the ring being the only thing that can harm an entire group and only functions for one person is not balanced. I reiterated the question to you so you would read it and realize but as that seems to not be getting changed. I have to end this circular conversation. The submission is being denied on concept. Wedding bands are fine as I have said... them improving the couples abilities is fine. Being required to face creatures otherwise invincible is not.

 

[John Locke]

The Battalion

I will be reviewing this submission. It looks pretty good so far, there is just one point need cleared up before I approve it.

You mention the Brain Demon Cultists several times, do you have a codex submission for the group? I'm unclear as to their actually capabilities since you mention in your submission that:

Without the ring, it is impossible to create this effect, and therefore impossible to harm Brain Demon Cultists if it's not being worn.

If you could please clarify this then we'll be good to go.

 

[The Battalion]

John Locke

Have rewritten the traitor bonus section to clarify it as best as I am able and have included a sub for the cult in the permission section. I am uncertain what else I could do to clarify it, as I have sincerely tried my best to be as concise and clear as possible in the rewritten section.

 

[John Locke]

The Battalion

That is much clearer thank you, that re-write is exactly what I was hoping for.

Enjoy your ring.