Control! Control! You must learn control!

[Mig Gred]

Mig leaned back a bit, thinking about what he was doing. He'd offer to help [member="Adara Raxis"] with her Force training. The Mando'ad'jetii had been trained well, but he had never really tried to help train anyone. While waiting though, he focused on keeping himself centered. After everything that had happened, he really needed too. He sighed slightly, remembering his homeworld before pulling out his Echani Vibroblade, and making quick slashes at the air. He hadn't trained as much with the Vibroblade has he really wanted to, but maybe they could get into melee training later. He had decided that for a first lesson, even though Adara was already fairly skilled, was simply centering herself. He wasn't sure exactly what she knew, so it'd be a simple way to start.

 

[Adara Raxis]

Training from [member="Mig Gred"]? Not only was the Mando’ad’jetii now her uncle, but Mig seemed to take an interest in Adara’s powers since her childhood. Back during the training session years ago, he sensed the draconic underlayer of Adara’s soul. Now, after Mandalore…

… maybe Adara wanted to train with Mig in order to see how much he knew or discerned about her powers since. Arriving with her usual retinue of Militibus ex Infernis bodyguards, massive well trained Anubian warriors, and a gaggle of Handmaidens draped in royal blue chersilk robes, Adara walked up to Mig. The green coat-dress she wore was laced with velvet and chersilk, a white spidersilk under-dress peeking out the high neckline and almost knee-length hem. Hunter green leggings tucked into matching leather boots, which swept up her calves. A beskad could be seen by the discerning, tucked into her left boot. She appeared to be weaponless aside from the knife, the well tailored and long sleeved garment fairly tight to her arms. Green gloves hid her fingers, mahogany hair braided up atop the crown of her head.

“Ba’vodu.” Bowing upon seeing him, Adara smiled. She did like Mig an awful lot, so maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. “How is Ba’vodu Tamar? And little Leddie? What are we training, today?”

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig opened his eyes and smiled when he saw [member="Adara Raxis"] . It honestly had been too long, and hearing her call him Ba'vodu was something new to him. It made him feel good hearing it. Knowing he had a lot of family now. He smiled, rubbing his artificial left eye before speaking with an excited tone.

"Adara! It's definitely been too long since I've seen you. Pretty sure you were a lot shorter." He then heard her ask about Tamar and Leddie, and let out a calm, happy sigh. "There both doing great. Leddie's been adjusting pretty well, and Tamar's finally been resting. It's actually about time for two more lives to come into the galaxy too." Adara then asked what they'd be learning today, and Mig smiled a bit. He wondered if she would be quite open to it, but he figured it wouldn't be horrible to try it.

"Well, I know you're already quite skilled in many ways, but I want to ask, have you ever trained to control your emotions?"

 

[Adara Raxis]

Truth be, seeing [member="Mig Gred"] helped calm Adara down. There was something so wholesome about her new Uncle, a blessing to the man that had Adara settling better in her jacket.

“You know I know someone who can make you a new eye. Clone-grafted, but new.” Adara cocked her head to the side, watching him give his eye a scratch. Why use technology, when they could graft a new one based on his gene code? Such rationalities were beyond the teenaged girl. “Is it already? I’m glad, Tamar deserves some happiness for once. Manda knows she gave enough happiness to us to last a life time.”

Tamar and Mig having babies. How fun that would be! While inwardly Adara knew she missed most of her little siblings’ infancy at school, the idea of more children in the family brought a small, albeit fading smile to her face.

Pity it didn’t last much longer than hearing her first lesson was one of Control.

“Control. Oh, no Ba’vodu, the daughter of Yasha ‘Emotionally-unavailable’ Cadera wouldn’t possibly know a thing about control.” Adara heaved a sigh, tromping over to [member="Mig Gred"] and flumping down to sit crosslegged on the ground. “Feels like I’ve done nothing but control myself. ‘Oh Adara, don’t do that people will look at you funny’, ‘Adara, don’t look over there, they’re staring’, ‘Adara, don’t you dare use your powers or Buir will cure you and the cure will kill you so how about you get sent off Mandalore and away from the entire family for their safety?’ Or! Or, ‘You’re a future Queen someday, so stand straight, learn the negotiation table, memorize these people and watch quietly or you’ll ruin everything, what do you mean you’re ten?! I was doing all this when I was eight! How dare you want to play outside with your brothers!?’ Right. I know nothing about Control. Nothing at all.”

In her teenaged mind, Adara still didn’t understand the difference between emotional control and training. She huffed and set her hands in her lap, a rising bubble of anger breaking loose from her inner mind.

“Uncle Mig? Everybody always tells me I have to control myself. That I’m some… some… dangerous monster, or that I should instantly know better about everything because my mother did when she was my age, and it’s… it’s…. rrrrgh!” Clenching her jaw, Adara inadvertently let the rocks and pebbles on the ground bounce around her.

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig looked at [member="Adara Raxis"] and chuckled slightly when she said he could get a clone grafted eye. He had thought about it a time or two, but there was somewhat of a reason behind keeping it.

"As weird as it may sound, it's kind of a reminder. Though I guess the scarring would be enough." He then smiled as his niece explained how Tamar deserved to be happy after all that she'd given Adara and her siblings. The Alor nodded in agreement, knowing good and well that she did. After everything that had happened, he felt like everyone did. It was then that Mig realized he hit a nerve. He hadn't even thought about the fact that her live had been controlling herself.

As Adara ranted about how she had had to keep control her whole life, Mig sat with her, sighing slightly before speaking up again with a calm tone.

"Adara, calm down. I emotional control when it comes to the Force is a bit different." Mig leaned back a bit, sighing. "Though hear all that, I kinda with Clan Gred had opened up to he other clans sooner. Maybe you wouldn't have had to go through that. Trust me though, I've seen monsters, and you're far from one. And if you ask me, in your own way you're as strong as anyone in your Aliit." Mig then looked at his niece, smiling a bit. "Either way, are you ready?"

 

[Adara Raxis]

“I guess it could be… if you like it and all.” Adara shrugged, much more interested in thinking about the cousins coming. Until the mini-teenaged meltdown brought her mind swinging back to the demon inside. That Dark fluctuant energy which lived perpetually within Yasha’s eldest daughter.

“Everybody expects me to perfect and calm and…. RRRRGH!” A spike of raw energy burst around the girl, frustrated and furious. The ground disintegrated into a grey powder, Adara in its’ middle. [member="Mig Gred"] called for her to be calm? One more person getting her to bundle up her mind in a tight little jar.

If she stopped, Adara knew inwardly that wasn’t what Mig was doing. He needed a starting point, one where they both could meet. After all, he knew barely anything about Adara’s powers beyond casual glances over years between childhood and adolescence. Adara knew all of this, and couldn’t fault him for making control his first lesson.

But fiddle-twits did it smart to think her imperfections were so obvious.

“It never would have helped with my mother’s worship of the Undying and his anti-Force policies. She never would have let it happen. Ever. Ever, ever, ever.” She stuck her eyelids together, lips drawn in a frowning pout. What appeared to be grey and red bursts of flame wafted off her skin, hair, clothing. Neither hot nor charring, the flickers of energy once more receded with Adara’s attempt to calm.

“… sorry. I guess I just… I dunno. Yeah. I’m ready.” Sniffling a little, Adara rubbed the redness out of her cheeks and slung her arms around her knees. “I’ll try really hard.”

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig was shocked by the energy the came from [member="Adara Raxis"] , and when it disintegrated the ground around her. He could feel the Dark Side in it, but wasn't quite sure about exactly what was in her mind other than the frustration. He noticed the flame, but seemed to have an idea that it wasn't burning. Some force of flame through the Force probably. He focused more on what she said about her mother though, and nodded slightly.

"Maybe, but you also made her change her mind on many things? If she truly followed Ra's way, why would you still be here. You sparked a change in her Adara, just by living." He smiled slightly at his niece, looking at her as she said she was ready and that she'd try her hardest. He nodded, taking a breath.

"That's all I ask is that you try. Now, control of the Force is much more complicated than one might think. It comes down to both focus, and emotion. Before you say anything, I'm not saying bottle up your emotions. You've talked about having to hold back on expressing your emotions, to be "perfect." This isn't that. What this is, is not letting your emotions control you. You don't have to ignore how you feel. You can express how angry you are, but you can keep it from pulling you into a decision you wouldn't make otherwise. You can also often draw from emotions to increase the strength of some Force abilities."

 

[Adara Raxis]

“She always cared more about Mandalore than me.” Adara knew the truth stung. It was, however, the truth. Yasha sacrificed everything in her life for the Mandalorians, her children were no different. Although Adara knew that was the sacrifice of the strong ruler for their People, it was the bitterest drink.

It would be better to love no one enough to see them hurt by one’s distance. The flame receded only through concentration. Adara let her fingers play in the ash around her, inspecting it for some divined message.

Nadda. Nothing. A whole whack of uh-uh.

“I’ve always held everything back, Uncle Mig. Down to my eye colour. It’s all I’ve ever been allowed to do.” Adara grit her teeth. “… fine. But after, promise we’ll do something fun? ‘Cause the only thing anybody ever asks of me is to control myself.”

Adara’s eyes stung. She sat in meditative repose, hands on her knees and shut her eyes. The swirls and eddies of her powers receded. Even her hair seemed to take a separate, less flickered sheen. Once again, all anybody wanted was for her to hold back. Control herself. Repress things.

Did she repress things, when she looked at her father’s corpse? At Sigurd-Adolfo’s? It wasn’t control which caused the rumblings of power that ripped beyond the veil.

No. She could never admit to what she’d done. The teenager struggled with the control [member="Mig Gred"] wanted, this girl who fought death and won. Did he understand? Could he?

Uncle Mig was trying to help. Giving a lesson to his new niece, a bit of attention since everybody was so focused on her wounded parents. As she meditated on the lesson of control, Adara sniffled. She rubbed her cheeks with a sleeve, and centred herself.

“Like… Like this?” The girl kept trying, tensions around her beginning to fade. He was here to help. Here for Adara, not her mom, or her sick little brothers, or some bombastic idea of her Dad’s. Adara didn’t have to figure this out by herself, and that alone was worth it.

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig couldn’t help but understand where [member="Adara Raxis"] was coming from. Being told to always be in control. To always hold back. He may not have really experienced anything like she had, but he had trained as a Mando’ade’jetii, where being centered was key. The Alor nodded to his niece when she said she’d try to balance herself, smiling slightly when she asked if they could do something fun afterwards.

“Of course. Always good to unwind after training.” He then felt as Adara began to center herself. When she asked if she was getting it, the Adara’s uncle nodded, smiling. “Yeah. Like that. There’s a big reason that’s important too. The Dark Side is a powerful tool, but unlike a lightsaber or a blaster it can influence those who use it if they’re not careful. In a lot of ways, directing it like you would anger can help. Find a way to direct it. Protecting those you care for, for example. Like I sad though, this isn’t about suppressing your feelings. Heck, I probably wouldn’t by you Ba’vodu if I suppressed mine.” Mig chuckled slightly, hoping Adara understood.

“It also helps with focus.” Mig then pointed to a nearby tree. “Focus is how you make sure that you don’t accidentally catch someone else in an attack not meant for them, and how you can increase your awareness through the Force.”

 

[Adara Raxis]

“I’d like that.” Adara smiled meekly, setting to her focus, even as it became a difficult amount of concentration. The energies released and wooed over the last months whirled in her mind, which thankfully was locked away from any form of mentalism due to her Epicanthix genetics.

Adara breathed harder, clenching her fists on her knees. The more she tried to focus the more her own failings came forth. Focus. Control.

Control yourself, little princess, or the jackals will gobble you whole…

Anger rose. Anger at those children who either ran in fear or picked on and bullied Yasha’s daughter relentlessly. Adara wasn’t a Mandalorian! She wasn’t fit enough! Everyone always treated Adara differently! Her mother never noticed, she was far too busy on the Throne. No one but Baba knew, Baba and Reyn. And Baba went off so often, on hair brained schemes or vengeful raids on those who hurt them.

It wasn’t fair.

Everyone expected perfection from Yasha’s first-born. The future Arch-Duchess of Vena. The child two Dark brothers wanted to secure in their Family’s claws.

And nobody ever stopped to ask Adara what she knew.

Teeth clenched, Adara tried to take in what [member="Mig Gred"] was telling her. Focus… focus and control.

Precision required it, as much as decency as a sapient being. Focus was how one made sure they didn’t accidentally catch someone in an attack…

… or snuff out two heartbeats to resurrect two more. Adara whimpered,

“… Ba’vodu… I did something wonderful…” Her body shook as she sat there, trying to reign in her need for control. “… they were lying there all… still. Normally their chestplates move, you know? When you’re breathing… It was worth it… I couldn’t… I couldn’t tell Buir they…. she’d already…. she’s still so weak, I couldn’t… It’s like Reyn said, if she found out Baba was… she’d… the shock would kill her…”

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig kept his focus on [member="Adara Raxis"], feeling out for her, but not really getting anything. He didn't need to Force to tell Adara was getting angry though. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. He didn't say anything, not sure now that it would help as much as just letting her know he was there. He knew from experience sometimes that was all people needed. It was then that she seemed to break down, and began to murkily tell He Ba'vodu something she had done. It didn't take much for the Mandalorian to understand though.

"Adara," he started, pulling her close, but not forcing her to move if she didn't want to. "It's ok.... It's ok. You know why you're here, right? Your Baba. He did the same for you. Your Buir told me about it a long time ago, and made me promise not to say anything, but I think you need to hear it. I don't know everything that went into it, but.... Adara. You saved him. Starting to think the cost for you has been... a fear, of what others will do if they found out." Mig then looked over to her, trying to smile a bit.

"If you want, we can take a quick break, go do something that isn't training."

 

[Adara Raxis]

“Rrrrgh! But if they listened to me, they wouldn’t have gotten killed!” The nearest tree exploded into splinters, leaf matter veering in an upward plume as Adara shut her eyes. With a growl of frustration, she stuck out her hand, willing the tree back together, each stick and shard in its’ place with a wealth of dominant, dark energies.

“… so your point in me needing control is valid and you win.” Adara deflated, looking up with the miserable face of a teenager, who knew they had to say their elders were… ugh… right. “Fooey.”

Adara shifted closer to her Uncle, glad for safety and kinship Uncle Mig knew what having the Force was like, and not the same as her Baba Kaine Australis, who spent years cured, years without, years hating his own power. [member="Mig Gred"] exalted in his powers, the way a Force user ought.

“Mama… Mama told you about what Baba did?” The girl sniffled and rubbed her cheeks with a handkerchief, “She wasn’t ashamed of it?”

A look of wide eyed hope struck Adara’s face as she looked to Uncle Mig. Rubbed her cheek.

“No, I don’t need a break. Can’t keep doing stupid things when I lose emotional control.. like lighting Millie Wren’s hair on fire… oorrr setting off Dylan Vizsla’s jet pack when he called me a weakling dikut… oooooor making my brothers float three feet off the ground for hours at a time so I could watch holomovies instead of babysit… but have you met the twins? Gigi and Maggi… I don’t know how Tamar did it without going some form of crazy. Especially when they get around Junior and Morgan… you know, Noah and Alex’s twins? But I guess it’s… Nobody’s seen what I can do. Not really… I… I raised the dead.

Me… little Dar’ika. Too feeble to raise a blaster, can’t take a punch worth nothing, but I just… got so… mad. It wasn’t fair! I didn’t want to lose my parents like Mama lost hers, and… it was so stupid! How could Baba die a hero, saving Mandalore from Sith invasion, and not come home to raise his kids! He wasn’t allowed to leave me in charge of everybody, I’m only fourteen!

And… I know Mom was twelve when she took charge of the Mandalorians, but she was also some scary gurlanin-hell-raised warrior, and I’m a private school girl with a lot of brothers and a messed up family tree. She didn’t need powers to bite peoples’ faces off, but I can move things with my mind, command the weather, tell people to lay down and they do it. And… I… I ripped the veil apart, clawed my way into Manda and took Baba and Sigurd-Adolfo’s souls out… because… it wasn’t fair. When I scream, rooms shake, and when I see an animal, even if it doesn’t want to, the animal does what I want.

And… and there was so much death on Mandalore that day… It was like Tamar, Ba’buir Aditya and Great-Grandma Ada were cooking feasts at the same time, and there’s like fifty persons’ worth of food, but I was starving and I sucked it all up, and… you can do that, too, right? Turning into some form of Epicanthix Death Goddess is totally something you do on a regular basis, right? Except you’re human and… a dude… but it’s totally Force Normal?”

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig sighed as Adara said he won, not wanting that to be the message she got from this. He did hes best to ignore the tree that exploded and reformed by the teen's hand, keeping surprisingly calm.

"This isn't about being right Adara. It's about learning." He smiled a bit at Adara's shock that her mother had told him about her being resurrected. More so asking if she was ashamed of it. Mig shook his head, speaking again.

"No. She wasn't ashamed. Still cautious about who she told, but she wasn't ashamed." Mig was then surprised by how open his niece became. She went from telling him next to nothing to pouring out what was on her mind. What was troubling her, things that had happened, and her thoughts. A sympathetic look came over Mig as he listened. He couldn't help but feel like he understood Adara better now. He smiled, shaking his head slightly.

"I can't say that I've seen something like that from anyone but you, Adara. I can try by best to understand though. Skorvek probably knows a thing or two about that aspect of the Force though. What I can tell you, I've gone through a lot of the same trials you have with the use of the Force."

[member="Adara Raxis"]

 

[Adara Raxis]

“Sorry. When you have Reyn as a brother, everything becomes a competition.” Adara said glumly. She loved her brother [member="Reyn Australis"], he was three quarters of her world. But he was… such….

…. SUCH A BOY.

Rrgh. Never ever ever would Adara understand two things in the universe: The nature of the Light Side of the Force, and….

…. boys.

“Always thought Buir was plain ashamed of her forcie daughter. Kept shushing me up, sending me off. Either she was ashamed of me, or the Mandos around her were jerks.” Adara seemed to settle, flowing into the control [member="Mig Gred"] attempted to teach Mandalore’s wayward daughter. She hugged her knees, pushed up at her chest and listened.

So he didn’t know. None of them knew what it was like to go past unbelievable, unnatural abilities. They could move objects, control their considerable minds, but raise the dead? Take energy from the living?

“It gets easier, right? It won’t be this hard forever.”

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig listened to [member="Adara Raxis"] , honestly knowing what she meant. He chuckled, thinking about him and his sister in the past.

"Trust me, I know how a little sibling rivalry can be. You should've seen me and my sister when we were younger." He chuckled a bit, but then heard her mention she had thought her mother was ashamed of her, or that those around her were "jerks." She seemed to become much more calm, seeming to begin to understand. He looked at her, thinking back to those times.

"There were still many Vod that still wanted nothing more then to rid the Mandalorians of any Force Wielders. The Cure... it would've killed you, and others wouldn't have been much kinder. She only wanted you to be safe." He thought back to those times. His clan laid low. He father had been killed before then. It definitely wasn't the best era of his life. He then looked to Adara again, nodding at her question.

"I've found it to get easier. You train. You learn. You fall on your rear and keep going. The Force isn't the easiest thing to work with, but it does get easier."

 

[Adara Raxis]

“Uuuuugh I knoooooow.” Adara groaned loudly and flopped over, arm cast over her eyes. “It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t try to up Daddy’s kill record by thirteen. Have you ever tried to up a kill record obtained during the Yuuzhan Vong war? Seriously, just ‘cause our mother was raised in Hell doesn’t mean we need to be little hellbringers.”

If only things were more sensible. But that would mean Adara would once more be in charge. Ugh.

“But she… but Uncle Mig, she cured herself. Nobody ever talks about that part, it’s like she erased any memory of it. But I know, I can feel it! I could feel her so strongly after she got back from Ithor with Baba and the others, and then…” Adara clenched her fists until her knuckles went white. “… it was gone. I know I felt it! I know I did! Nobody can tell me I didn’t feel it, even when they deny everything I know it!”

Sighing with the heaving shoulders only a teenager could muster, Adara sat back up.

“Okaaaay. I’ll believe you. If it does get easier that would be good, ‘cause I’m ridiculously tired of… this. It’s like I’ve got the entire universe on my shoulders and people expect me to… click my fingers and make rainbows. Or demon warriors, and let me tell you? Summoning ghosts, and creatures from the depths of the Netherworld is far, far easier than making a freaking rainbow. Rainbows are practically impossible.”

[member="Mig Gred"]

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig couldn't help but chuckle, thinking back to him and Vaux's childhood. "Vaux always tried to one up me since she never showed a connections in the Force. She did one up me in a lot things though. Better shot, way better pilot, and her mistrust tends to balance out my more optimistic nature." He chuckled a bit more, think back to everything. It was fun to look back. Then he heard Adare talk about Yasha possibly using the cure on herself. It honestly surprised him. He tried to think back, never once remembering feeling a hint of Force sensitivity from her. He looked at Adara though, knowing she wouldn't lie.

"I believe you, Adara. I've never felt it myself, but if she did.... it's possible that if she had been given the cure from a young enough age, maybe she could hand the Force returning all at once. Like a side effect of the cure." It wasn't a stretch. He could imagine someone with no contact with the Force suddenly being able to sense it. It could honestly be too much. At least hearing Adara seem excited about the Force getting easier was nice. He smiled, shaking his head a bit.

"Don't worry. I don't expect you to do any of that. If anything I'd give you the bigger task of getting Vaux to trust you."

[member="Adara Raxis"]

 

[Adara Raxis]

“It’s fairly easy for Reyn to one-up me. He’s always been super swell at all that physical Mandalorian stuff. Shooting and hunting and combat. [member="Reyn Australis"] is the perfect Mando… but never ever tell him I told you, or his head will be even bigger than when he was seven and it got stuck in the main barrel of that tank gun.”

Siblings. She might have had too many, but there was something about her little brother Reyn that had Adara clinging to the fun memories she did have of him. Few and far as they were.

“I know it. I’m right, Mig. But she doesn’t remember. I don’t even think her mind is really there.” Once more Adara began fiddling with her fingers.

“B-but you said not to worry!” Adara groaned and yanked a hand into her hair. “That’s impossible! How could I ever elicit trust in anyone!? This is another of those ‘you’ll understand it later’ lessons isn’t it?”

[member="Mig Gred"]

 

[Mig Gred]

Mig chuckled, picture the young Mando as [member="Adara Raxis"] described him. A poor kid with his head stuck in a tank cannon. It got a pretty big chuckle out of him. He did take note of what she said next though, thinking back to everything. Right after the battle on Mandalore and Concord Dawn. It seemed to spark something in him.

"I think you're right. I was with Taozi after the evac of Concord Dawn. I don't really know what they used... but something felt different then. What ever it was might have caused the change." He then thought for a moment.

Mig chuckled at Adara's reaction to what he had told her he'd have her do, shaking his head a little bit. It was just hilarious. "No, that one was just a joke, though you'll have to learn how to at some point. Right now though, we could focus on honing your skills, which is where the importance of control comes in."

 

[Adara Raxis]

It was easy to find the fun in her brother [member="Reyn Australis"] if she looked back instead of forward. Ram’ika grew up, vastly in ways she couldn’t fathom, and rushed into the fray. Adara was realizing quickly she didn’t have that sort of courage.

Once more, her family was leaving her behind.

“Ithor. I remember, I was only a child, but it was when Baba brought her to Ithor that all… this… happened. I am right, Ba’vodu. Whatever it was you and the doctors brought back, it’s not my mother. I keep saying it and nobody will listen. Not even Baba will listen to me.” Adara set her forehead in her palms, growling out a burst of frustration. The ground around her deadened, plants falling black and limp as if dried in a coarse dry sun.

“Heeeyyyy, you tricked me. I’m not used to not knowing everything. Is this how people live their lives? It’s dreadfully inconvenient.” Adara huffed, pursing her lips. “Honing my skills would… I would like that.

I’ve never shown anybody what I can do.”

[member="Mig Gred"]