Curiosity

[Jairdain]

Several months ago, Jairdain had been given a lot of material to research. It was mostly about general knowledge- math, science and history, very little about the Force. Her time with the Dominion had taken away her access to this list of books to look into, but with them, she had learned under things.

She tried to set a little bit of time aside each day to pick up these books and learn about some of the stuff she missed out on when she was growing up. Today, instead of being her room or the meditation area, she was in the library.

So as not to disturb those doing their own research, Jairdain was in one of the quiet corners listening to the lesson from her current book. The one today was about how storms formed and just how much energy was required to keep them going. It was very interesting and if there was something she didn't understand a note would be made to further research that later.

Being blind, everything she did with technology was voice related and if somebody was nearby they would hear a device reading to her and her speaking back to it when a note needed to be taken. It wasn't like a conversation was going on or anything like that, there was no AI involved with that she did and she hoped the volume was low enough as she didn't disturb anybody.

Taking a short break in her research, Jairdain leaned back in her chair and stretched slightly.

[member="Kaden"]

 

[Kaden]

The library was a common location integral to Kaden's daily routine. He'd missed so much in the millennia he'd been frozen and spent more time in the library learning about the galaxy's past than anywhere else.

He liked the near-quiet more than anything else; it afforded him an opportunity to relax within himself.

A lot of that relaxation was necessary after the events on Kaas. Being impaled by a spear of pure hatred and subsequently possessed by the spirits of one thousand ancient Sith Lords had left its mark on the pureblood. He was darker than light in the weeks following the battle -- the lingering effects of possession.

In these times, the library was a big help.

He had just entered, dressed in his ancient robes but lacking his armour, and was making his way to the general knowledge section when he overheard a computerised voice.

Curiosity lead him to the seated figure of a female listening to an audiobook about storms. Kaden recognised her as Jairdain, whom he'd met during the Gathering. She seemed fond of Yuroic, something the young Sith couldn't quite understand. There was something mysterious about her, something that enticed Kaden to walk over and say hello.

"Hello."

[member="Jairdain"]​

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain could hear very well and knew as well as felt when somebody approached her. She set the book down she had been looking at along with her reading device and stood up when Kaden spoke to her.

They had met at an expedition to Ilum for the gathering of crystals there for their lightsabers.

Kaden was different than anybody she Jairdain had met before. At the gathering, it had felt like to her that he was battling an inner demon that was driving him to go dark and another part of him that strove to remain in the light. This was still the case as she looked at him now. But it had only been a short time since they all returned to Voss.

Even though they really did not know one another, Jairdain greeted him with a warm smile and offered him a chair that was around the table she sat at.

"Hello Kaden. You're welcome to join me if you want."

She smoothed her robes down behind her and took her seat back waiting to see if Kaden took the seat she offered.

"How have you been since we met on Ilum?"

[member="Kaden"]

 

[Kaden]

The smile took Kaden off-guard. The hospitality and warmth of the Jedi here was something the pureblood was still getting used to. Dismissing his surprise, he watched her smooth herself down with an analytical gaze and then took Jairdain's offer; placing himself into a seat opposite the woman.

"I've been good, thanks," he answered - a blatant lie. "Just studying and practicing and such. Life of a padawan, y'know..." His amber gaze was fixated on his thumbs, which were currently twiddling on the table before him.

"I suppose you don't, though. Were you ever a padawan?" A rhetorical question, one followed by his eyes flicking up and meeting Jairdain's own.

"You strike me as the perfect Jedi."

[member="Jairdain"]​

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain being a diplomat in training as well as an empath could tell Kaden was lying to her and she shook her head. She understood all too well the life of a padawan though.

She sat with her hands on her lap as she listened to his answers and his own little question. A quiet chuckle escaped her lips as he finished. He may have meant to keep it to himself, but had given it voice.

"No, I understand that life very well, Kaden. We all were once learners. Of course, each of us learned differently, I think."

That inner turmoil had to be a key and she was curious to what caused it.

"I do my best to be a perfect Jedi as you put it, but there are times I have been tested."

Her time in captivity, even when she was younger and her home destroyed...all trials she faced along her path to being who she was today.

When his eyes met hers, he would see they appeared unfocused, though filled with emotion and intelligence.

[member="Kaden"]

 

[Kaden]

He did lie, Kaden was struggling. He didn't see the sense in informing others of his own internal battles, though. He was too proud. Too Sith.

Narrowed eyes focused on Jairdain's own. At this distance, and with no other distractions, the Sith recognised that her gaze seemed to go right through him. He leaned forward slightly - a change in the location of his head - and watched as her eyes didn't move.

"Are you blind?"

His question crawled out of crimson lips slowly, immediately following the realisation. He wasn't one for social etiquette - it was never really taught to him. His social process was raw; everything he said was laden with a deep, almost primal, sense of intent.

The pureblood also registered the emotion behind her irises. A sense of knowing filled him briefly; he'd been tested before, too. He pondered on whether or not he could ever be a true Jedi in this moment, with his inherent nature dragging him back.

Or was it, perhaps, balancing him out?

[member="Jairdain"]​

 

[Jairdain]

A small silence filled the area around them, the sounds of the library muted by the shelves surrounding the corner. Jairdain could feel the intense gaze of Kaden and when he voiced his question she nodded.

He spoke it slowly and she could clearly hear he already knew the truth, but wanted confirmation outside of himself. What he looked like, the fact he was a sith pureblood...she knew none of this. She could only see him through the Force and feel his emotions.

"I am and you are the first person to figure it out with me telling them."

She tilted her head to the side, still looking in his direction.

"I'd like to know how you figured it out since it's not something that many people see this handicap."

Having been taught to not actually be ashamed of her blindness since she could see with the Force. Of course, the kids in school thought differently and made fun of her. It was only when she started going to the school for force users that people accepted her.

[member="Kaden"]

 

[Kaden]

"What can I say, I notice the little things," He began, explaining himself. His red hands stop twiddling as his brain ticked.

"Where you stare is fine tuned. That's impressive, knowing the truth." Honesty was evident in his rough voice. "But, I can see the lack of focus. You seem to stare straight through me."

The Sith reclined into the seat.

"When I move slightly - like there - your eyes don't follow. It's the biggest giveaway."

"And," he continued, "I wouldn't consider it a handicap. Your other senses are surely fine tuned, even your connection to the force... That is how you 'see', isn't it? Like a Miraluka?"

"That brings me back to my original point. You see people for who they are within, not what they look like. Yours is an empathy unknown to most of the galaxy. You are a pefect Jedi."

[member="Jairdain"]​

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain moved the items she had in her lap onto the table and set them between them. She was clearly more interested in hearing what Kaden had to say and their conversation than what she had been learning about.

Listening to his answers, he pointed out something she had never thought of, the fact her eyes didn't focus. To his own question, she nodded.

"I would imagine it is similar to how a Miraluka would see. It was never taught to me and I was told I did it when I was little. Like being without a physical sight was never an issue for me. Tell that to the kids that made fun of me."

Her voice held no anger or animosity as she finished speaking and actually held a little humor.

"Ah, yes, what I see is what would most likely be an aura. A sense of where something is based on that. Nobody has ever adequately been able to explain what colors look like, but I'm not worried about that. So what I see in a person, being or well, almost anything are, I think colors that represent their emotions."

Leaning back in her chair, Jairdain crossed her legs to get into a more comfortable position, her arms rested at her sides against the chair. If he could read body language, this would show she was open to talking to him.

Giving him half a smile and a small chuckle.

"So just being able to SEE a person makes the perfect Jedi?"

[member="Kaden"]

 

[Kaden]

A slight sigh escaped red lips in response to her comment about the other kids. Kaden knew all too well what peers were like growing up; he was always considered a runt until puberty hit him. It may have been humourous upon reflection to Jairdain, but Kaden viewed his early years with contempt and anger. If it wasn't the other sithlings beating or berating him, it was his own father.

He nearly spat out of disgust then and there at the mere thought of him.

Despite his own quiet reflection, the pureblood was listening intently. Although Jairdain couldn't see his interest, she'd likely be able to feel it. On the flip side, he recognised subconsciously that she was being open and eager to converse. Kaden mimicked her, thought he didn't cross his legs. Instead, he rested an ankle on his knee and rested both hands on his shin.

"What colour am I, then?" He inquired, almost playfully, with a slight smirk evident on his lips.

"No, being able to feel a person... I'm new to the Jedi ways, but from what I understand, empathy and compassion are sought after qualities in a Jedi. You seem to have them in abundance, due - in part - to your lack of, or should I say 'heightened', sight."

[member="Jairdain"]​

 

[Jairdain]

When Jairdain mentioned her past, it brought up emotions within Kaden, a sudden darkening around him. He let out a sigh as he remembered his own childhood. While she was not able read his thoughts, she could guess what they were.

Even through remembering both of their pasts, she felt within him his own interest in her. He asked what color he was and she gazed at him intensely. There was no hostility in her touch, no animosity, but he would feel the sensation like he was being read almost like a book. His emotional layers laid bare to her through the Force. It was very much like his gaze when he sized a person.

Normally, she only gave surface looks at people. Very few wanted to know how they truly looked through the Force. This man wanted that and she would give it to him.

"Emotions change almost from moment to moment as thoughts and situations effect them. I can tell you as you are now only. Five minutes from now, it might be changed."

Her words were calm as she answered, full of confidence in what she said.

"There are layers and layers of aura, indicating how deep they are or how ingrained in your persona they, your core. The you that makes you, you."

She spoke with a slight accent, one he would not place. Though she spoke fluently Basic, it was not her native language.

"I'll start on the easy stuff and go deeper. The colors that deeper within, don't fluctuate as much as those on the surface. On the surface, I guess it would be yellow, to me that shows curiosity, then there's a kind of pink and that tells me you're happy about something. The situations or thoughts that bring about these colors I can't tell."

Here's where it could get awkward. He did ask for her to tell him, but many people didn't like the fact she could see deep if she tried. Her voice grew even softer, but he would still hear her clearly.

"Hidden from others, you are shades of grey, red, black and purple. To me, these colors tell me you have buried anger, contempt. You're sad and lonely. Uncertain about something."

As she spoke, her voice got gradually quieter. These most inner emotions that people kept hidden could when they were revealed cause the person to lash out or get angry at her. While she did not fear this sith, she hoped he had enough control of himself to now attack her.

For the moment, she left his last statement alone, waiting to see how he would react to her all too accurate reading.

[member="Kaden"]