Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Starship D-Balerion B-Class cruiser 'The Children'

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803250e046beb456550934a1287d01b5.png


OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: to create 'Children' for the Draconian Navy
  • Image Source: Here
  • Canon Link: N/A
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Primary Source: N/A
PRODUCTION INFORMATION
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
  • Classification: Battle-Crusier
  • Length: 3500 M
  • Width: 827 M
  • Height: 300 M
  • Armament: Very High
    • PORT&STARBOARD:
      • Quad Heavy Turbolaser batteries (20)
      • Quad Battleship ion cannon Batteries (10)
      • Twin Heavy Turbolaser (20)
      • Quad light Turbolaser batteries (10)
      • Twin Battleship Ion cannons (10)
      • Medium Ion cannons (10)
      • Quad laser cannons (30)
      • Heavy laser cannons (10)
      • Light laser cannons (20)
      • DXL-Quad Turbolaser batteries (2)
    • FRONT
      • Quad Heavy Turbolasers (5)
      • Quad Light Turbolasers (5)
      • Meduim Ion cannons (3)
      • Heavy laser Cannons (5)
      • Light laser cannons (20)
  • Defenses: Very High
    • Flak Cannons (10 throughout)
    • Point defense lasers (25 throughout)
    • Heavy armor (Out of combat Light regeneration due to Draconion Steel)
    • Durable and reinforced hull (Out of combat Light regeneration due to Draconion Steel)
    • Layered Shields ( Deflector and ray shields)
    • SE-151 Shield Force Multiplier (Open market)
  • Hangar Space: High (3500) 24 Squads
  • Hangar Allocations:
  • Maneuverability Rating: Low
  • Speed Rating: Low
  • Hyperdrive:
    • Class 2.0
    • Class 13 Backup
STANDARD FEATURES
ADVANCED SYSTEMS
STRENGTHS
  • Massive Firepower
  • Heavy armor
  • Multi-trained crew
WEAKNESSES
  • Lack of fighter diversity
  • Blind spots located in back
  • Exposed Bridge
DESCRIPTION
While together all 5 ships make up the children of there much larger counter part, they were created first. Used as a prototype to test out some new experimental engines, guns etc. When these experaments passed there process, they were all incorporated into their 'Father' and these prototypes were now standard pratises within the Navy. There were 5 ships ever created, each named after the 5 major clans that banned together during the unifications war, Eons ago.
  • Doris
  • Corvis
  • Revak
  • Novon
  • Gorvash
Upon the creation of the UGF Among Other gifts A ship was eventually gifted to each starting faction.
  • Revak was gifted to the Lilaste Order 'Revak' Was a king that had fought in the Draconian Unifications wars, for most of its span. Most of Revak's forces were elite fighters
  • Gorvash was Gifted to Arla Susni and the NSLR. 'Gorvash' was the king that lead in the Diplopic and logistic side of the war, running control over much of the ocean's of Draconia
  • Martomi was gifted to be a flagship for the newly formed 'UGF' 'Martomi' was the first family that would peacefully run Draconia After the war ended
  • This leaves 'Corvis' and 'Dorvis'. Corvis and Dorvis were the brother kings that did fight each-other in the war after a betrayal. Dorvis the aggressor was killed.
 
Last edited:

Ravenfire

King of Pumpkins
Moderator
Tragic Writer Tragic Writer

Hi there, I will be your judge for this submission.

So a couple things, lets start with the balance.

Your severely underbalanced

Semi-Unique -3 -3
High +1 -2
High +1 -1
Low -1 -2
Low -1 -3
Low -1 -4

Your four ratings under, so lets push those ratings up a bit more.

Next thing, hanger space you don't need the extra text from the template, its just there as a tool to assist people when building their ships and should be removed from your submission once you've finalised your sizing and hanger space.

Last thing, you cannot list another submission and just say all the things from this as your standard and advanced features on ships. In tech it's different as it does have the features from that submission generally incorporated in it as a material or part of the submission. What I would suggest is copy and paste all the relevant details from the other ship submission and then change them as you need to. I know it takes time but if I was a player reading this submission during a PvP thread I would not be happy that I have to read another ship sub in order to understand what's in this ship sub.
 
Ok have done thank you for the review here is what I have done

I bumped up the rankings
  • Armaments went to Very High
  • Defense went to Very High
  • Hanger space went to high
I think this would equal to 4 points
Next thing, hanger space you don't need the extra text from the template, its just there as a tool to assist people when building their ships and should be removed from your submission once you've finalised your sizing and hanger space.
I like having it there as I think it makes it look nice and a bit more tactically cool, but I'll remove it
Last thing, you cannot list another submission and just say all the things from this as your standard and advanced features on ships. In tech it's different as it does have the features from that submission generally incorporated in it as a material or part of the submission. What I would suggest is copy and paste all the relevant details from the other ship submission and then change them as you need to. I know it takes time but if I was a player reading this submission during a PvP thread I would not be happy that I have to read another ship sub in order to understand what's in this ship sub.
Got rid of the other submission and just copied over the stuff from there

Also Unrelated Just changed one of the names at the end of the submission

QUICK EDIT AFTER THIS POST: Added a few more engines is all

Ravenfire Ravenfire
 
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