Private Dance Like No One is Watching

[Thessa Kai]

Thessa nearly choked on the piece of sashimi that was already in her mouth. Light-gaze looked at her grown son as a hand pounded lightly against her chest.

"I mean," she began gently after she swallowed. "That we're figuring out how to share the same space together without dredging up all the past hurts. I can't speak for your father," a brief, sad smile. Knowing Judah, he probably still very much blamed her for a lot of things. And rightly so. The past was the past and she couldn't change it. She remembered when there was so much hate and rage boiling off him when he could barely look at her. These days, she felt like all that anger might've dimmed a bit toward her.

But that was only a guess and a hunch.

"I'm a different person now, Makai. Time and experience does that to a person sometimes. And don't worry, I wouldn't hurt Judah again. He's on his own path." Thessa didn't think Makai had anything to worry about. The last she heard, Judah was dating someone.

"Do you understand?"

Makai Dashiell

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

Makai's shoulders visibly relaxed once his mother explained further. If it would be appropriate to jump for joy he would have.

"Oh thank Inari. Yeah, I understand. I just don't think you two are appropriate for one another. As in ever. Not even when I was born."

They found a quiet table and sat down, Makai popping the salmon appetizer into his mouth.

He had grabbed two glasses of wine, one for him, one for his mother. Makai had immediately stopped drinking once they got the news regarding Junior, saving the bottles in their collection for when after the baby was born.

"What else is new with you? Besides being friendly with Dad?"

 

[Thessa Kai]

Thessa slid into the seat. A round table with an ornate tablecloth across the top. The tablecloth looked like it cost as much as one of her good maintenance droids. She wasn't surprised at an event like this. A small, quick glance around checking on Judah. But her eyes didn't find him.

A small frown at Makai.

"Tadpole, your dad and I lov-loved each other. I think we just didn't know that we wanted different things and each expected the other to adapt." A small smile as she took a sip of wine. "We're both just a bit too stubborn."

Still, it pained her that's what Makai remembered. Like with Judah, she'd apologized so many times to Makai. Tried to show him that none of it was his fault. That she always loved him and always wanted to be present in his life.

She looked over the rim of the wine at Makai. "Enough about me. You already know about Grandma and Grandpa moving to Ceto so I can keep an eye on them. Started that Young Fliers school. I'm keeping busy. Tell me more about you and Myrra. How is married life so far?"

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

"Tadpole, your dad and I lov-loved each other. I think we just didn't know that we wanted different things and each expected the other to adapt."

Makai arced an eyebrow, unable to help himself. He didn't try to judge either of his parents but it was difficult when he was the collateral damage in their fallout. There was no animosity on his end - years of therapy had seen to that. It was more an odd thing and reinforced why he and Ellie made it a point to connect and talk nearly every single night.

Another sip of his wine as he listened, listening to his mother's recent goings-on. Much he already knew, but the Young Fliers school brought up a reminder. He needed to fit ensuring Persephone Dashiell could fly into the young Heiress' schedule. There was no way she would be allowed on her own yet, but emergencies did occur.

"Can you teach Persephone to fly? I can't remember if I asked you. Ellie and I don't want her going anywhere on her own, but we are aware there are emergencies. Obviously not a fighter, but a small personal freighter she needs to learn how to handle. Once you can work it into your schedule. I can send her down for a few weeks."

Makai ate two canapes as he thought about her next question. He was very tight lipped about his relationship with Myra Arceneau Dashiell . It wasn't anything personal, and there was nothing to hide. They had always been a secretive pair and Makai liked to keep what they had close. He had to give his mother a little information though, he didn't want her to feel iced out.

"Oh, its great. Everything I ever hoped. Had an amazing honeymoon."

Well, except for a freakout in our bathroom.

"Stayed at this giant nature reserve. We're back to work so spending some time apart, which is never fun. I'm trying to open several mines at once, I'm on this expansion kick. Ellie is busy with her own work for her mother.... Persephone is finishing up her internship, we will have her back home soon."

 

[Thessa Kai]

She leaned back, taking up her wine. A small sip. "Teaching her is no problem. Send her down whenever." Reaching forward, she took up her son's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm happy for you two. Really. I know I don't have to tell you this but no matter how busy you each get make sure you make time for each other."

That was a huge lesson's learned and a place she and Judah struggled. Maybe one of the many complex reasons of why their marriage failed. Why their relationship failed.

"It's nice to see you shine in places like this," an idle glance around the bustling ballroom. "These scenes were never my style. Makes me understand more why your father sneaks away to smoke."

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

Makai nodded along, squeezing his mother's hand in reassurance.

"We do. We...uh....didn't have some of the easiest times at first when it came to a few things. So we've made it a point to communicate better and set aside time to just speak and recap one another. Its been working very well. It makes the disagreements and compromise go a little easier."

Naturally it didn't nip these things in the bud. Both of them had their own opinions and ideas and thoughts on things. The nightly talks weren't meant to never disagree, but more to work things out and find common ground on subjects that needed it. It wasn't every night though, most nights were just recaps and fill-ins and catch-ups before things slipped through the cracks.

"I've got no choice...business demands it. As for Dad, he just goes out there to smoke and complain with the other old men. Don't let him fool you, I guarantee he's out there now complaining about a hyperlane or some governmental tax. He loves these things. I just tolerate them, for me its like anything else."

A small pause.

"So why did you come? You've never even been to something like this."

 

[Thessa Kai]

"I know he loves these things," she said quietly.

Releasing his hand, she let her fingers drift back to the base of the wine glass. Fingers playing along the stem. "I think you and I view events like these similarly." While not her scene she wasn't vehemently opposed. Clinks of glasses and plates filled the air as more people went to the banquet buffet.

"Did you know your father asked me to come?"

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

In the middle of sipping his wine, Makai nearly choked at the revelation that his father had asked his mother to come.

How else would she have known, but that meant it was a willing outreach from his father's end.

A small cough as he cleared his throat,taking a deep breath from the near-choke.

"No, I did not. Been a little busy so I haven't really talked to Dad."

Which was fine by him. Less questions and looks of disappointment, although Makai was expecting those to fade soon. Hopefully.

"And you agreed. Which is surprising to me."

 

[Thessa Kai]

A mother's look as he started choking. But as soon as she knew it wasn't anything serious, a single driftwood brow lofted in his direction. She had sensed there might've been a small rift between her son and Judah lately. She just wasn't sure why.

A shrug of her shoulders.

"I like spending time with you two. And given a chance to support both of you at an event like this...even if by support it just means being present. Life's too short to say no." A small smile in his direction.

"Things between you and dad. It's none of my business. But same offer stands. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here."

The band started playing a vibrant toon from a few rooms over.

"Come on. You want to show these other land-dwellers the proper way to dance?" Thessa slipped off her heels beneath the table and stood, offering her son a hand to tug him toward the dance floor.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

"Oh yeah, I agree. Next time I need a date I'll be sure to hit you up. Sometimes Ellie is just far too busy and it could be fun. Get you off Ceto more often. See the universe, what did you say, life is too short?"

He nodded in terms of being able to tell her anything. Did Makai believe he could? To a certain extent. There was also a belief she would run off and confront his father, which he didn't want to seem to be clinging to his mothers skirt.

His wife would be the only one who knew the truth.

"Appreciate it."

He stood at her urging, taking her hand.

"I just learned how to dance for the wedding, and then that was shaky, so go easy on me. I'm willing though."

 

[Thessa Kai]

With her heels kicked off and abandoned under their table, she'd take her grown son onto the dance floor and began to dance to the upbeat music. "You can't be any worse than me so I don't know what you're worried about." A smile cracked across her face.

They were a half-aquatic species.

It made sense that they'd have more skill in the water than out.

She didn't need to comment about leaving Ceto more often. If Makai wanted her somewhere she would support him. And right now, she sensed that anymore pestering or questions from her wouldn't go anywhere. If he wanted to share something with her, he would. For now? She'd just enjoy her time with her son.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

"I suppose. Its the rhythm for me. I'm fairly useless, constantly counting my steps and making sure I'm timing things correctly. I don't dance too often despite going to these things. Most of my dances are old ladies who can barely move."

Makai grinned, wondering if his mother would catch on he was teasing her. He twirled her a moment before picking back up where they left off.

"Mom, now that I'm married, maybe stop sending the credits? I've never needed it.They are yours, use it on something fun."

He never understood, so the credits sat in a separate account. He didn't want to offend his mother but at the same time between himself and Ellie they had an obscene amount of credits.

"You got a boyfriend? You need me to hook you up? I've been keeping an eye out for Danger Arceneau , not that she knows it, I can keep an eye out for you too. Nothing serious, maybe just something fun."

 

[Thessa Kai]

"Old lady?" She smirked at her son. "Such lack for your elders, darling." A small laugh as she jested back, her grip tightening on him as he twirled her. She would've fallen if she'd still been in heels. Well, not with her grown son leading the way and his steady grip.

"Dating?" A breathy laugh. She knew better to ask if Judah was dating anyone. That would be his news to share if he was. And she wasn't entirely sure how she'd feel about the answer - either way.

"I don't know how I feel about my son trying to hook me up." She couldn't help but let her eyes flick upward and around to look for Judah before her light gaze fell back on Makai. "Not sure who might be out there for this old lady," she teased.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

"I'm positive I can find someone. Hell, there's a lot of hot, divorced dads out there looking for fun. Question is do I know any? I'm sure I do. Let's see your type. Wannabe flyboy, thats evident by Dad and Dirks Hutchinson. Blue eyes. Tall, or at least taller. Must love water and have an affinity for mermaids."

Makai chuckled, wondering how much he got right. Of course he didn't know anyone with that description. Didn't mean he couldn't reach out to Casteel Mer'taal and see if the man had any leads. Desperate, divorced dads seemed like they would be in the blonde's friend circle.

He noticed her eyes looking around.

"If you're looking for Dad he's still smoking. Probably won't come in for a good hour. More if he found someone to talk to. He will wander back in on his own....unless you want to stop dancing and find him? I can entertain myself."

 

[Thessa Kai]

A slight roll of her light eyes as he listed off potential match characteristics. But she provided no further comment.

"Nope. Like you said, he'll come in when he's ready. I'm right where I want to be."

Dancing with her son. Spending time with him. She still couldn't quite believe how time flew in the 'verse. It seemed like not too long ago she'd been changing his diapers. Cradling him around the hanger as she worked on ships. And now here he was. A grown young man. Married. And able to provide for himself - better than she ever had.

"I'm so proud of you," she said quietly. "And the man you've grown into despite everything that happened. I know I've said this a lot over the years but I want you to know I'm so sorry, baby. And I love you."

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Wearing \ Gear : X | X | X | X | X
Interacting With : Thessa Kai

Eyebrow arced a little as his mother stayed quiet regarding her 'type'. Makai figured he was fairly close to the mark, there was an eye roll but no commentary. Now it was just a matter of keeping his eyes open and seeing if anyone fit the bill. There was no rush at all.

Over the years of intense therapy, Makai was always told to never expect a true, genuine apology. Not that he didn't crave it or want it, he had to tell himself it was never coming. Had to slowly accept to work around.There had been some small apologies, but he was either too angry to acknowledge it or things just fell flat.

"I'm so proud of you," she said quietly. "And the man you've grown into despite everything that happened. I know I've said this a lot over the years but I want you to know I'm so sorry, baby. And I love you."

This seemed a little different. Maybe because he was older. Maybe because it seemed they were finally turning some corner he had been silently begging for since he was a teenager. It was difficult to tell, he could always evaluate things later. Sort it out in his journal - reconciling with his mother was like being on an island far out in the ocean. It was his journey alone, one he was aware not even his wife may understand.

"Apology accepted Mom,I've waited for years for you to say that...and, thank you." A small pause. "I love you too. Never stopped."

 

[Thessa Kai]

There was so much in what Makai said. And to feel so many conflicting emotions at once nearly took her breath away. She was not like the Trade Queen and was not one able to wear or keep a mask up for appearances. It was those feelings of blame and hatred cast her way that was hard to be around. Looks of silent judgement. Distrust. Whispers about blame for things that had happened decades ago. Things her accident hadn't even enabled her to fully remember.

While she recognized everyone was entitled to feel what they felt, whether rightly so or not, that didn't mean that it didn't hurt occasionally. Life was hard and she was doing the best she could. They all were.

It hurt her to hear Makai say he'd been waiting for her to say that for years when she'd done nothing but say that for the past five-to-ten years. But he was her son and she'd do anything for him. Even if it meant showing up as an outcast among the Arceneau's. Around Judah. Since the accident, she'd been determined to show-up for her family and there was one thing that would never be taken away from Thessa Kai. And that was her determination.

Swallowing down her own ache, she hugged her son and held him tightly as the song shifted to something slower. It wasn't about her in this moment. It was about him. And she loved her son.