Deeds, Pillows & Futures(Preliat)

[Ginnie Dib]

The Mantis Estate
Keldabe, Manda'yaim

Aditya Fitz-Kierke moved in her sleep, nestled in the sheets of [member="Preliat Mantis"] and her bed in Preliat's house outside Keldabe. Preliat's Estate had been an astounding revelation, but felt empty with a clanging echo compared to what the woman had thought of being in a family home. Family.

The word made her shiver. Her nightgown had twisted as she turned from one shoulder to the other, the woman cracked an eye open and ran a hand along her back, sitting up to fix her nightgown. She peered through the bedroom into the dark of the night, rubbing her eyes with the back of a hand. The pregnant Epicanthix woman searched the dark for the body of her lover, watching him breathe in the sheets.

"Mmmh. What time is it?" Had she already gotten to the point that their unborn child was stealing nighttime hours? In the dark of night it seemed a daydream that her life had taken such a turn. Had she thought a year ago she'd be the pregnant unmarried lover of a Mandalorian Field Marshal, living in Keldabe? No. Not in any galaxy however far away. Her lover was not a soft man, he was the savage protector of those he deemed worthy, and it hadn't been long since he'd been broken by the Sith prison. Would he still be tender to her and their child?

"You're probably still asleep. I shouldn't wake you."

 

[Preliat Mantis]

"It is zero three forty five and forty eight seconds."His reply was monotone, not because of her, but simply because he was mechanical in the way he kept time. Punctuality was key to a man's life that depended on timing. Timing of a shot. Timing of a swing. Timing of extraction. All timing. And he'd been counting ever since he took his helmet off. It was a habit- something to take his mind off it all. Preliat reached for the bedside, fumbling for a pack of cigarettes- but then remembered he'd hidden that habit from Aditya. He made it seem like he was stretching his powerful arm, before letting it rest on the hills and valleys of his well-toned stomach.


"Three to four hours maximum per night."He admitted, turning to face [member="Aditya Amadis"] with a look of pain and weariness on his features. It had begun to age him, though not terribly. Sleep would do him well. He turned to face Aditya, eyeing her swelling stomach. It ate at him, the concept of a child knowing his father was nothing more than a ruthless murderer and savage.



"Not since Elrood. Not since a lot of things."

 

[Ginnie Dib]

Preliat's abrupt declaration of the time made Aditya jump. "Goodness. Thank you." She whispered, her mind opening as it hadn't opened before to what the man she shared a bed with was like. Had she noticed his sleeping habits? Not when they were tangled in the sheets, not when they spent most of the night in each others' arms, not when she fell into a comfortable state of blissful dreaming. How many nights had [member="Preliat Mantis"] watched over her while she slept unaware of his pressing nighttime demons? Aditya's void-black eyes scanned down the lines of Preliat's face, counting the ones that were deeper than before. "Do I help at all? Guess I've not been sleeping long either, past few nights. Starting to get hard to stay comfy."

Truth was she had nothing to worry about. No nightmares, no terrors creeping into her soul, Aditya laid in the safe haven built for her by her savage, ruthless lover. Settling down, she propped her side up with her elbow and draped a hand across his shoulder, gently tugging until she could lean over and kiss the furrow on Preliat's forehead. "How can I help? There must be something I can do."

She left her hand on his chest, catching the area he stared at and pushed her lips together. "We'll make it, Preliat. It'll work. I mean, I . . . it was the shock of my life, getting that test result. Damn near passed out." She chuckled ruefully, sitting up again to stare at the beginning swell of her stomach. "Not since a lot of things." She repeated, her own forehead furrowing.

"And yet you still smile for me. Eh? You do, I see it. A glance across a room, the touch of your hand on my shoulder, or the way Azrael was all gobsmacked when he saw you kiss my forehead in front of everybody at that Succession ceremony. Was it a ceremony? Or is there a word for it? A Mando'a word? I appreciate it, Preliat. I appreciate you. So I hope there's something I can do. Make it lighter, you know?"

 

[Preliat Mantis]

Preliat thought for a long while- the bleak blue light of the moon creeping through the windows of their homestead. Their. Shared. What was his, what little he had, was hers. Most of the house was not furnished, let alone decorated. He'd have to fix that, eventually. He continued to stare at the ceiling, before propping himself up on his elbows. Light illuminated behind him, shadowing his face, save for the whites of his eyes. He rubbed his eyes, before speaking softly. His voice was quiet, like it was before.


"What you can do, is be here. Not just for me."His eyes wandered down to the new life growing in her. He blinked, before laying back down. The hills and valleys rose on his chest, as he glanced back over to her. A hand went through her hair, his weary hand waving through her onyx hair.


"My demons are exactly that."His eyes darkened.



"Mine."

 

[Ginnie Dib]

"I'll be here. Can't get rid of me, I know we're not married but you're stuck with me, got it?" The homestead was as barren as their start: nothing but a photograph printed on flimsi and placed in a buy'ce after the spicy Epicanthix had hired [member="Preliat Mantis"] to run bodyguard on a Phrik run. The change ups and regrowth of Atrisia had meant Aditya's business had plummeted, but it was slowly coming back around and with that return, Aditya felt a new push would make it. Another few months and a different kind of pushing would get her attentions. Her eyes shut and she mewled as he ran his fingers through her hair, a petite and ginger smile building on her lips. His fingers in her hair felt fantastic, she soaked up the affection and nestled into him, pulling herself against his side and spreading her arm across his chest. Her stomach pressed against his side, the unborn child inside was beginning to move and make itself known to Aditya's waking moments.

"How do you feel about . . . gosh what do we do? Name it? Give it a placeholder? The Fitz-Kierke-Mantis Baby? I don't know. I remember my Mama having my sisters. . . she threw me into ballet training for so many hours a day it made my feet bleed. She was a stern old bat. No picture was ever straight enough on the wall, no hair braided tidily enough, and pregnant? Fewf! Daddy and I would run for cover. S'how I learned to make repairs. Whatever came in, my Dad would know how to fix it. Sure, a bunch of stuff blew up in our faces but that was the fun, you know? Don't know what happened to him, you know? I ran away as a teenager. Never went back. Still. . . I look back and think 'a girl should know what to do' and I don't."

The bother and worry slicked on her face as she peered across the room. "Guess I'll start with decorating a little. When in doubt, nest. Make this place a home. A place of comfort and love. 'Cause no matter what demons chase you in here, I want you to know right now, Preliat Mantis: This homestead is a house of love. You won me fair and square. It's ours and no demon or nightmare can take away the fact that I adore you and I'm glad to be here. We're both worthy of this place and that took some time for me to come up and accept."

Aditya was not unawares of the darkening around Preliat's countenance when he spoke of his demons. She'd yet to see her man in battle, but from the way the others parted crowds for him it made her wonder far enough. Hugging closer to his chest, Aditya breathed him in and maneuvered with tiny grunts and short clipped moans until she got comfortable.

"I get that they're your burdens to bear. I get that each of us has our part and our privacy. Just . . . don't stop yourself from getting ease and comfort where you can, okay? You've got a dashing, ravishing, amazing woman at your side, and our kid's gonna be the best of us wrapped into one bundle. She's gonna adore you, I know it. So tell the demons to take hikes once in a while, although I know that don't all work that way. I wish it was simple like that. I wish I could yell those demons out of you and give you ten hours of sleep a night of restful slumber until you caught up on those hundreds of missing hours. I'd say I wish I could go back in time and stop them from happening, meet you a little earlier maybe when you were playing Null Hockey and I was in the Coruscanti Ballet. Maybe I should invent some time dilator that can do all that. Might make a good present for Life Day some year. Wouldn't that be a coup? Why'd you invent time travel, Ms. Fitz-Kierke? To give my lover longer sleeps, of course, I'd say, tipping my chin and smiling. Keeping up with keeping up. Aw, I'm babbling and I ought to stop. I'm just so damned glad you're home."

 

[Preliat Mantis]

There was little Preliat could put into words about how much [member="Aditya Amadis"] cared about him. Her words alone, the ones she could find at least, meant more than all his awards, medals, and titles that he had earned. In reality, he never wore them or cared for them. Every time he received one, they were thrown into a box under the bed. No bearing of them, the only thing he truly cared for was his Field Marshal status- protecting the companies of men under him, and his fellow Mandalorians. He settled into the bed, shifting his frame to be both deeper into the mattress and closer to Aditya. An arm slowly draped across her shoulders, while brown eyes fell upwards, staring at the ceiling blankly.



"My family hates me."


He clearly left the subject at that with his tone. While he appreciated her wanting to change things, he never wanted to go back to his old life. Too many things went wrong. Too many bad deeds. Then again, what was his life now? Drifting from place to place, battlefield to battlefield, planet to planet- all without a real goal, a real endgame. Truth be told, Aditya may have liked the home, but he hated everything about the place. He'd always hated the word home. To him, the house was just a place to sleep. To lay his weary head once and a while. Nothing had made it a home. Or maybe he hadn't. Preliat's passiveness about a lot of things was starting to affect him. He hadn't taken the time to enjoy himself. Or anyone. Or anything. Love did not exist in his homestead. It was there between Aditya, but not to anything else.


"A girl?"


He asked inquisitively, inclining his head. He purposefully ignored the demons, or even commentating on them or their continual effects on him.

 

[Ginnie Dib]

Preliat's skin warded off the midnight shivers of the near early morning. Air brisk with the emptiness of the house, Aditya cuddled into him with a sense of trust and safety unaccustomed to her in the preceding years.

"Silas -" Aditya stuttered and let her voice die in her mouth. The thought wasn't a discussion for [member="Preliat Mantis"] but a statement of fact. Far be it for the former runaway to judge, or comment on the abandonment of a family, when she herself ran away from being her mother's cash bantha. "My Mama hates me. She'd ridden me so long on the ballet that my paycheques were keeping the family afloat. Liked the money I made her and hey, it was my duty wasn't it? To be a good daughter? Saw her a few months back. Between our first date and our second, remember? The one where you took me flying? We were at the same party on Coruscant. She pretended I didn't exist. Someone at the party introduced us, she nodded her head curtly and murmured a spiteful congratulations on my married name then shuffled off before I could tell her I was a widow. She was parading my sister around like the peacock at a zoo. Cilla was standing there all proud, snubbed her nose and pranced off as if she were the better dancer. Damn girl's pigeon toed and gawk-limbed."

She peered up at his face from her cuddle into his side, a finger draping across his cheek. "You're my family, Preliat. We don't need folk that hate us peeking in to condemn the home we've found. You, me, our ad'ika. You're all I got."

Maybe it had been the richness of their mutual experiences that had wound Aditya through the loom of Preliat's life. The hurt in his eyes mirrored the shivers in her ribcage. Gingerly taking his hand free hand, she wove her fingers through his and pulled his hand to rest on her growing belly.

"Couldn't stand not knowing, specially after that auction. Had a blood test done and got the results today. I bought you a card in Keldabe, was gonna give it to you tomorrow. We're having a baby girl. A perfectly healthy daughter."

 

[Preliat Mantis]

The wolf would have a daughter. Would he be a good father? A good husband? A good role model? His face darkened as he knew the answer, a grim expression crossing his battle weary features. Then, Aditya began to speak about her family. The trials and tribulations of the famed ballerina, the real reason why she was a dancer. Not out of passion, but out of ambition on her mother's part. Sickening, to the Field Marshal. To exploit a child to live through them vicariously or to use them to better yourself, or rather, in Aditya's mother's case- her bank account swelled. Anger swelled through his body, starting from the furrowing of his brow to the flexing of his powerful and toned muscles.


"I think my family might be a bit more of a problem than yours."


Preliat glanced downward, towards the life growing within Aditya. His hand rested on her belly, blinking passively. Before she said it, he could feel it. Could feel the life.




Finally- he had something else to live for.


"I don't know what to say to her."


[member="Aditya Amadis"]

 

[Ginnie Dib]

"Yeah Silas can look pretty intimidating, but I think he's a good kid. Don't know him well enough to be a proper judge. Mine's pretty harmless but for the scowl. Aw, I got no attachment except for my Daddy. Wish I knew he was alright you know? He'd love it on Mandalore. Set him up in a little speeder and ship repair garage in Keldabe and he'd be the happiest clam in the ocean. Always was good for a beer or two, a tasteless joke and the boxing! I owe my survival from bar fights and scrapes to my Daddy. Took pride in his baby girl learning a proper punch. He's the only person I miss." The hormones were to blame, she told herself, when a tear welled up in her eyelids. Yet to spill over, the tear was banished as she shut her eyes and nuzzled into her lover. "I missed you. When you got . . . after Emp. . . thank goodness you're home." Aditya let out a long exhale, one she'd been holding in for months. Her head burrowed into [member="Preliat Mantis"]' side, she peeked up to see him looking at their growing child. Had his hand begun to tremble, or was it her stomach?

Aditya gave Preliat a warm smile. "Try a hello. S'what I did after I stopped swearing a blue streak. Let her know who her Daddy is. Way I see it, this little ad'ika's got a big wide universe full of adventure and nothing to fear, 'cause gosh darn between the two of us she's gonna be safe and sound. Protected and loved, you know? I hope she gets your eyes. Mine suck."

Aditya's eyes were devoid of any white, rimmed with dark red irises and banded with the swirls of complete black, the genetic abnormality meant the woman wasn't very far away from a pair of tinted lenses if she didn't want to get blinded on anything but an overcast twilight.

 

[Preliat Mantis]

"It's not the fighting part I'm worried about."He grimaced, gritting his teeth. It seemed that he would rather just avoid the situation altogether- but he knew that he'd have to face his demons and the machinations he had made for himself a long time ago. "My father stopped talking to me after I started playing hockey. I think he died. He stopped reading the mail and messages I sent him. Stopped caring, stopped living. Either way."Preliat gave an unapologetic, and rather dark and menacing shrug to the situation."Wasn't much of a man. A slave, practically- to the clan Ordo."He disregarded him with a wave. It was clear- that whatever his father did, Preliat did not care. Did not want to care.



"I think if Arrbi had been able to get to me two seconds faster, I wouldn't have gotten into the way I did. Life goes that way sometimes."He didn't mention the word home. The homestead was that- a place to sleep.



Preliat sincerely hoped that his daughter inherited nothing from him. He was a monster."I think she'll be great. I hope she gets more you than me, to be honest."Preliat then became aware, that if Aditya was any closer to him, she'd be linking their immune systems together to form one giant blob of love and cuddling.


[member="Aditya Amadis"]

 

[Ginnie Dib]

"Your Dad, my Mom eh? We're not going to be our parents. I'm not an idiot, I can tell you're worried. I get that you're scared you'll screw this up. Haven't screwed up with me, and I'm impossible to deal with most of the time." Her lover had demons and they were constantly clawing at him. It was hard to see them from the perspective of dates and first moments, but now that the routine of their lives had begun they were easier to pick out. Maybe making the homestead theirs would make it easier for him.

"I had a choice on which ship to board. I wish I'd picked the one without Kei. I wish I hadn't strung up those Twi'lek sisters by their Lekku and . . . and I can't even say what I did to them. But Kei asked me to."

Hormones were wonderful in nights like these, the pregnant woman had gone from sleep-less to utterly comfortable with a few whiffs of [member="Preliat Mantis"] ' pheromones and the feel of warm sheets. "So she can be a monster-eyed ballerina who makes impetuous yet lucky choices? I hope she gets your height. And your eyes. And the way you dig deep into a person when you care about them. Ok maybe it's how you deal with me, but I'd love to see her have that. . . Preliat? How long have you had this place?"

 

[Preliat Mantis]

Preliat didn't even want to think of the things he had done. The fathers he had robbed of sons. The sons he had robbed of daughters, of families, of lives. For what? A bigger blob on the big map? Preliat finally reached for his bedside table, but then remembered his pregnant lover and how smoking would be detrimental to his daughter's health. He ran a hand through his hair, long black braided strands being pushed back behind his ears.



Preliat spoke bluntly."F*ck Kei. He should be glad he's dead."He growled, his fingers twitching. Cigarettes. He didn't want one for the chemical, he wanted one for the distraction and the pleasure of the smoke, the action of...everything. He needed to focus on other things. Like her. And the room. And the question that made his pupils shrink to when he was focused on slicing someone apart with a tomahawk. Turn it off. Turn it off Preliat. You're safe.



"Just after the Dark Harvest. Just. After. I thought it'd help. I let it sit here and gather dust. Someone came by to check on it. Fix things that broke. But I never wanted to live here. I lived on a cot in my ship. I hate this place."


[member="Aditya Amadis"]

 

[Ginnie Dib]

"I'm glad he's dead. I'm glad I shoved that stupid ship of his into a star. Wish I'd done it long before." There was an edge to her voice she'd kept from [member="Preliat Mantis"] for a very long time. Aditya sat up and watched Preliat reach for something. What was it? He'd done it three times already.

Looking at the emptiness of the homestead brought the confession to a staggering reality for the young Epicanthix woman.

"Are you . . . did you come back here for me? Is that the only reason you're staying here? To give me a home on Mandalore?"

 

[Preliat Mantis]

The edge in her voice went over the Wolf's head. He stared at the blank wall, uneasy and quite restless at this point. Sleep eluded him, he had been deprived of a good night's sleep without medicinal or hypnosis for a long while. He realized that he attempted to go for a cigarette three times, and Aditya would notice by now.


"Yeah."His voice was low and hoarse, gravelly in it's tone."Otherwise I'd be sleeping in my ship again. Like every other night."


[member="Aditya Amadis"]

 

[Ginnie Dib]

The woman watched him twitch, a sigh on her lips and heave to her shoulders. He was putting up with this for her. For their future and in the end it meant more than a stolen night's sleep. "Do you want to find another homestead? We could look at the Real Estate market and find something neutral if it'll help. I mean, I won't lie, I love this place. I love the view but we can find another one right? And hey! At this point we wouldn't have to unpack. Reminds me, the Emperor Kahoshi gave me an estate on Atrisia as a gift for my last promotion. I've not spent more than a day or two there. Why don't we go? Check it out just the three of us. Mandalore can survive without you for a week, and if not, we'll head back fast. The Myrmadinas is a fast ship."

She reached to massage his back, feeling across the tense muscles of his shoulder. Whatever he'd tried to grab, it was a deep set habit he wanted close to his chest. "I love you, Preliat. Even more for knowing you're pulling through here for me. Thank you. I'm gonna get up and make some tea. Want something? It should take me about ten minutes. I hear the porch is lovely this time of year."

Reaching for the hand closest to her belly, Aditya held it, kissed the fingers and pulled it till it was reaching for the cabinet he kept reaching to. Maybe with the chance for a minute alone, Preliat would feel more comfortable. He'd do whatever it was he wanted to do all this time and Aditya wanted him to know she wouldn't judge. Once she was sure he got the message, Aditya eased off the bed and exhaled as her feet hit the cold floor.

She retreated to the kitchen, coming back as promised ten minutes later with a mug of tea and whatever it was Preliat might want. [member="Preliat Mantis"]

 

[Preliat Mantis]

He stood up, grabbing the pack of cigarettes. He flung open the window, letting the blue light of the moons that orbited the planet wash into the room. A cool breeze whisked across his body, and he leaned forward. It wasn't a lighter- Preliat was a fighting man after all. It was an electronic burner, heat built up in the coils at the end of it, and he lit his cigarette quietly, and efficiently. He leaned on the windowsill, glancing outwards to the rolling fields and hills and the endless swaths of trees that littered the landscape.


"I think a vacation would be wonderful."He said, the winds blowing the dark blue blinds at his side. His muscles were impressive- they were more toned than usual. Preliat had been taking more care of himself lately. Avoiding some things by running and pushing himself harder. The added weight of the Beskar-leg also meant that he needed to be more toned and more adept at carrying around weight, meaning his muscles were worked just that much harder. His back was the most visible when [member="Aditya Amadis"] walked in, and it was a series of hills and valleys of muscles. His back was especially protruding down the middle, two powerful sides of one powerful man.



"Where would I go without the Mandalorians?"

 

[Ginnie Dib]

"I mean find another homestead on the outskirts of Keldabe. If we need a vacation place, we've got my estate on Atrisia. I was the Emperor's favourite engineer, we used to catch up a lot before he died. When he found out I didn't have a place of my own to live, he allotted me the estate not far from his. Used to belong to some noble house that died out, was turned into a park for a while and now it's mine. I'd love to share it with you. Make it ours." The Estate on Atrisia was a place her ex-husband had never gone, nor cared to go to. It was a place her own, the best thing she had to bring to the table in helping [member="Preliat Mantis"] rehabilitate from the horrors of war. So far removed from the familiar, and in a place where Force Users were taken away, Atrisia might be the centre of calm they needed in their lives.

Yet, Preliat's heart would always live with the Mandalorians and in that heart Aditya was glad to sequester her corner to reside. Coming back with her tea and a mug for Preliat, Aditya stopped short of the bed and watched the curves and muscles of his back. He was a beautiful man, the muscular display was as welcome a sight to her eyes as the drifting excitement it brought to her own face. "Have I mentioned lately that you're the most handsome and sexy man I've ever seen? Gosh, cyare you're gorgeous."

She put her mug down and walked around to give him his. "On vacation. Then we come back to the Mandalorians. I can leave any time, just need to alert my ship to come pick us up. Think about it, a week or two, maybe three of just you, me and a calm, serene landscape on a planet that has nothing to do with war. It'll be a fantastic break we could both use. And when we come back, I'll talk to some Craftsmen about my Beskar'gam. Sound good?"

Her nostrils flared, eyes deepening in their appreciation of his physical form. The tea drifted down her throat and Aditya flushed with delightfully pleasant hormones. Maybe she was hungry for more than a cup of tea, since seeing Preliat framed in moonlight.

 

[Preliat Mantis]

Preliat flicked the cigarette out the window, letting it land on the cold surface of the ice-covered ground. The snow extinguished the flame rather quickly. He took the tea she made him, and washed the taste of the cigarette from his mouth, and replaced it with the herbal goodness she had provided him. He thought for a while, before turning just his head towards [member="Aditya Amadis"]."You know I can't leave Mandalore. They need me here. But I think a vacation would do wonders for my pysche."Finally- it came in a small sentence. To tell someone, though not directly, that he was not okay. That he wasn't all there. In all truthfulness, he was slipping. His mind was not coping well with the recent events, and the not so recent ones. He tapped his digits, cut and bruised from hockey and from war, on the mug. The scalding heat radiating from the mug didn't seem to phase them. Blame it on the callouses.


"I haven't thought about love. It was just...war. Or hockey. The game. Something else. Something bigger than me. A team, a planet, a system, the game, the other goon, making sure I had my stick just where I needed it so when I flipped I wouldn't smack myself in the face."He ran a hand through his hair. And smiled."Your compliments are appreciated."He soothingly said, his soft spoken tone of voice returning. Only seemed to be around her, though lately. He felt little joy in his life. In fact, he didn't really have anything pushing him forward besides not having any alternatives to the Mandalorians.


"The Beskar'gam is sacred and one of- if not the most important tenet and symbol of our culture."He paused."I remember when I got mine."

 

[Ginnie Dib]

Huge step. The fact that [member="Preliat Mantis"] had admitted something sacred and secret was not lost on the woman who shared his bed. Aditya pulled a tired little smile onto her face and spread her fingers on his forearm, sipping her tea as she listened. "Of course they need you. But I don't think any of the other Field Marshals or Mando'ade would fault you for taking a couple of weeks off. Two weeks, love. They can hold Mandalore together for two weeks, while you and I go to Atrisia and get some sleep. They need Field Marshal Mantis, the powerhouse Wolf of the Mando'ade and you're far more effective for them well rested and well tended. I got. . . I got an idea. Something I've been mulling over since we started sleeping together. I might be able to craft a device that disconnects your sleeping mind from nightmares. They'd still . . . they'd. . . you'd have no recollection. You'd keep sleeping and they'd be like a radio show on mute. It's a theory and I gotta work on that theory, but my labs on Atrisia are a lot better equipped than the labs on the Myrmadinas. I didn't want to get your hopes up but I know you don't sleep easy and if I can give you that much it'd make up for all you've given me you know?"

The soft smile, the coaxing lilt in his voice were gifts exclusive to the woman whose belly had begun to swell with his child. Aditya knew how precious the small moments had become, she craved them and clung to their memories with all the will of a lover who watched her man struggle in his sleep. "You're welcome, my sexy baby daddy." She said, smiling up at him.

"That's why I've been waiting on the Iron Skin." Aditya leaned against windowpane, pushing her forehead against the cold surface to dampen the spread of fire in her cheeks. "Wanted to make sure I deserved Beskar'gam, you know? Wanted to integrate and really figure out how much it meant. I performed all over the Galaxy and it was sure a different experience than what I got later on, when I wasn't the ballerina. When I was the uncouth, crime-running engineer. Didn't start out wanting to be a criminal, but that's what I became. Fought off the demons in my blood as I watched my friends fall fewer and enemies over populate. Never laid my head in one place. Not by a long shot. Now, with you?"

Her fingers splayed on the cool glass, creating arcing patterns of frost and condensation on the pane. She leaned her cheek to the smooth surface to see him better. "I feel like my soul's catching up to my body. I look at you and see the only man I want to wake up to. Be defended by and defend. I wanna make it easier for you, I know you're under a solar system's worth of pressure and I know it's been harder and harder for you. . . when I say I wanna be with you through it, I want you to know how much I mean it. So your lover's earning her Beskar'gam and I'm going to be nearly as proud of it as I'm proud of you and her."

 

[Preliat Mantis]

"Sleep."He said the word the same way a person learning a new word from a new language would. It crossed his lips like a foreign word, an alien word. Preliat turned to @Adtiya Amadis, shaking his head. The Wolf wouldn't run away from his nightmares. He thrust his hand out forward, flattening his fingers and placing his thumb along his index. He spoke with it, as if he were chopping meat indiscriminately. His father used the same way to convey serious tones.


"I don't need to just disconnect myself from them. They'll still be there- they'll still be apart of me. I don't need a machine to take them out of my dreams."He turned his head forward, staring out the window while sitting on the edge of the bed."I need a way to beat them. And I don't wanna rely on a machine for the rest of my god damn life, Aditya."He had a tone that was unfamiliar with Aditya, a snapping and harsh tone that he usually reserved for men who annoyed him.


"I'm so proud of you. And...I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid. I wake up, everyday. Afraid."