Desmond's wrist watch

[Desmond C'artyom]

[SIZE=9pt]OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Intent:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] An accessory for Desmond C’artyom[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Image Source: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]N/A[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Canon Link: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]N/A[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Restricted Missions:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] http://starwarsrp.net/topic/115850-a-broken-watch/#entry1636383[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Primary Source: N/A[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]PRODUCTION INFORMATION[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Manufacturer:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Desmond’s Father[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Model:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] N/A[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Affiliation:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Desmond C’artyom[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Modularity:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] No[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Production[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Unique[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Material: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Voidstone, leather[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]SPECIAL FEATURES[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Inhibits the force[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]Strengths[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]:[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Inhibits the force in a small radius[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]Weaknesses[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]:[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Very fragile[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]DESCRIPTION[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]This is a wrist worn watch. An ancient trinket that has been mostly replaced by holo clocks and data pads. It was procured by Desmond’s father on the planet of Caeliar where he gifted it to his son. Desmond has worn it ever sense. It acts as a good luck charm for the Chiss. When Desmond’s father never returned from his last mission the Chiss and watch became inseparable. He wore it everywhere and when his mom began pawning things around the house for cash Desmond hid the watch where he knew she would never look. The watch has been through thick and thin with Desmond and he would not trade it up for the world.[/SIZE]

 

[The Major]

Hello, I'll be the factory judge reviewing your submission. If you have questions, please feel free to respond to this thread once we are underway.

 

[The Major]

Hallo.

So I was reviewing this submission and the accompanying thread: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/115850-a-broken-watch/#entry1636383 or, A Broken Watch. It's possible to miss this but there is a Restricted Mission for use of Voidstone:

Cira, on 11 Mar 2017 - 11:38 AM, said:
Void Stone: With two or more characters that your character does not already know, get trapped in Otherspace by a hyperdrive accident and escape. OR: Perform a mining operation, a raid, an excavation, or steal to obtain small amounts of Void Stone from any of the following planets: Kayri, Elrood, or Caeliar. As with all restricted materials, this objective applies to the use of derivative materials (such as voidsteel or Velokite). Note that derivative materials often have specific affiliations. (Either options are only suitable for Semi-Unique production or less)

After reading your thread, could you please reference where your mission thread meets the qualifiers for the Restriction Mission for use of Voidstone?

Thank you [member="Desmond C'artyom"]

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

I essentially stole voidstone from a charron cult on Caeliar. The watch is made from voidstone acquired on the planet, which the thread takes place on.

[member="The Major"]

 

[The Major]

Incidentally, the Charron and their cultists are an arachnoid species that would have little use in making a watch of suitable use for a human. Your thread simply claims to have found the watch as a spoil of war, when the mission parameter dictates that one must either mine, raid, excavate, or steal small amounts of the material itself. Do not think I intend to knock your core concept. As with all ideas, it can be justified as part of a story if done well and is fleshed out.

With that in mind please update your thread in a manner that reflects the quality, effort, and mission parameters for the Voidstone requirement. Alternatively, you can also remove the Restricted Mission material from your submission so that it may progress to a final review and approval.

Thank you,

[member="Desmond C'artyom"]

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

The thread states that he acquired the stone and then had it turned into a watch. Does that make a difference?

[member="The Major"]

 

[The Major]

Pinging [member="Jamie Pyne"] to conduct a role play judgement on your thread.


Thank you for your patience.

 

[Jamie Pyne]

[member="Desmond C'artyom"] | [member="The Major"]

The thread linked does not satisfactorily complete the objective mission in terms of quality, nor story.

Submissions using Restricted Items will be reviewed by a Role-play Judge, and may be declined depending on the quality and effort of the submitter.

Voidstone is one of the rarest materials in the galaxy. And while we do not have set guidelines for thread length anymore, we do still hold threads to standards of quality, subjectively, to the material and submission it is being applied to. I am not content that this mission was either followed in accordance to the restricted material mission objective, nor the quality aspect. Therefore you have three options:

1. Remove Voidstone from the submission.
2. Vastly expand the quality and depth of the story you are choosing to write.
3. Re-do the objective and enlist the aide of other writers to better accomplish the objective.

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

Please archive this submission. I am sorry to have wasted your time and can promise next time my Dev threads will be of sufficient quality as well as meet all specified requirements.

[member="Jamie Pyne"]
[member="The Major"]

 

[Jamie Pyne]

Moved to Factory Archives - If you want to remove from the archives, please feel free to tag Raziel, Jamie, or Cira.