Approved NPC Dha'Oya'Karir Death Squad

[Prazutis]

Source : mandalorianmerc.org
http://s1278.photobucket.com/user/TactKor/media/maulwatch_sidebyside_zps16693a7b.jpg.html

Name: Dha'Oya'Karir Death Squad

Intent: This unit is Mandalorians who wish only to work security and aid in combat. They aid the Mandalorian Clan in combat as well as serve as security at the Dha'Oya'Karir Taris Compound.

Affiliation: They are loyal to Dha'Oya'Karir but will aid any mandalorian Clan that follows the Resol'nare (Mandalorian code).

Availability: Common

Quality: C - Trained
The Dha'Oya'Karir Death Squad is trained in basic Mandalorian combat, hand to hand combat, melee combat as well as explosive and ranged combat.

Type: Mercenaries & Infantry

Strength: 150

Description:
The Dha'Oya'Karir Death Squad were formed by Residents of Taris who wished to help Dha'Oya'Karir and actually join the Mandalorian culture but not dedicate themselves to a certain clan. Once the members finish their training they are given Durasteel armor molded into the style of basic Mandalorian armor and painted red and black to match Dha'Oya'Karir's clan colors. Their helmets were equipped with night vision, infrared, thermal visions as well as a comlink. They are then outfitted with two The DC-15 blaster Pistols, an A280 Blaster Rifle with an advanced scope. 4 Thermal Detonators, 4 frag grenades, and a Basic Durasteel Sword, Durasteel knife.


DC-15 Blaster Pistols
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/DC-15s_side_arm_blaster

A280 Blaster Rifle
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/A280_blaster_rifle

Thermal Detonator
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Thermal_detonator

Frag grenade
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Fragmentation_grenade

Basic Durasteel Sword
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sword

Basic Durasteel Knife
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Knife

Mandalorian Armor made with Durasteel
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mandalorian_armor

 

[Darth Pyrrhus]

Under review.

 

[Darth Pyrrhus]

[member="Jarell"]

Hi, I’ll be your Codex Judge on this one. Overall this looks good to me, there are just a few things I would like to sort out before we get this approved.

When you use an image, also include the image source. Please provide a link to the original artist or the page where you found the image.

The link for the DC-15 Blaster Pistols is not working. Please fix this.

Affiliation: They are Loyal to Dha'Oya'Karir but will aid any mandalorian Clan that follows the Resol'nare.

Could you add in a quick explanation as to what the Resol’nare is? I looked it up, and I don’t object to you using it. I just think it would make the unit’s affiliation more accessible to those not familiar with Mandalorian terminology. I’m not looking for something elaborate here, a few words in brackets would suffice. Example: “...Resol’nare (Mandalorian code)”. Also, "loyal" does not need to be written with a capital letter.

Once the members finish thier training

Thier helmets were equipped with night vision, inferred, thermal visions as well as

jet packs on thier back, fiber cord on thier right gauntlet and toxin darts and a blaster mounted in thier right gauntlet

I've marked some typos for you in bold. "Thier" should be "their". When you write "inferred", I assume you mean "infrared"? You switch between writing "Mandalorian" starting with a capital and a lower case letter. For the sake of consistency, could you stick to one? Preferably with capital M.

Thanks.

 

[Prazutis]

[Member=Darth Pyrrhus] I think I fixed it all, for the link there is nothing I can do, I have taken the link or and put it back 3 times, sorry

 

[Darth Pyrrhus]

[member="Jarell"]

What if you try to manually type in "http://" in front of the link? That did it for me.

 

[Prazutis]

[Member=Darth Pyrrhus] Fixed

 

[Darth Pyrrhus]

[member="Jarell"]

Fantastic!

Type: Mercenaries

I missed this earlier, but could you add their combat role after "Mercenaries"? Examples: infantry, artillery, motorized, etc. In your case, I believe the appropriate one would be "infantry".

After that, this should be good to go! Thanks.

 

[Prazutis]

[Member=Darth pyrrhus] edited

 

[Darth Pyrrhus]

[member="Jarell"]

Approved, pending secondary.

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Approved.