Private Don't Drown in Your Mistakes

[Sylvia Virtos]

When the past comes back to haunt you
Coruscant
Quinn Varanin ​

---

It almost felt like she was back in the first few months after escaping the Sith again. A run down hotel room featuring nothing but an old bed, a tiny desk and a wobbly chair. The view out of the one window was disappointing, to put it mildly, though Sylvia was too busy to mind. While sat on that chair, her foot tapping at a rapid pace, she flicked through countless camera feeds, scouring the streets of Coruscant and many public buildings. Next to the screen was a half-empty can of a sickly-sweet beverage, which she occasionally took a sip from between feed switches.

"Where are you..." Sylvia mumbled as she set the can back down. The job was simple and the pay was more than reasonable. Bounty hunters were looking for some ne'er-do-well and they'd pay her to get them a visual. A job as simple as it got- getting into camera systems was a bit too easy for her at this point and they had already narrowed the target's location down to a few city blocks. There were still a massive amount of camera feeds to sift through, but with the pointers she had been given Sylvia would find him sooner or later. Then she'd get paid, go back home, and take Ellie out for a nice dinner somewhere. She almost thought it was all too easy.

A message came in. The search area had just been narrowed down to a single street. Sylvia readjusted herself in her chair and loaded up a different set of feeds. It was only a matter of time from there.

"Got him. Just walked out of a cafe. Sending a still and coords."

The response came through her earpiece not long after. "That's our guy. We have a visual now, so your job's done. Just pinged the fixer to release the payment." The earpiece went silent after that. A bit of a sudden cut of communication, but that was fine by her. Sylvia took out the earpiece and dropped it into a front pocket of her bag, then prepared to put away the rest of her setup. As her eyes met the screen again, though, they flashed past a hauntingly familiar woman. It jump scared her at first, but skepticism quickly followed. "Surely not..."

A second look.

"Kark me..."

It had been somewhere around seven years ago when Sylvia had been faced with an impossible choice. She would've hurt someone no matter what she had done and in the end, the one she hurt had been Quinn Varanin. A previous chapter had been closed and Sylvia was looking forward to a future with Quinn, until the past crash-landed right back into her life. Her choice had led her to a happy life alongside someone she loved and adored, but the feeling she had betrayed Quinn had always stung a little bit in the back of her mind. Right now, though, it was much more than a sting. She had profusely apologized in a message, but never in person.

'I should go.'

'No, she wouldn't want to see me again.'

'Agh, kark! Why!?'

Sylvia downed the remainder of the can in rapid gulps, then slammed it back down onto the desk. After packing up her things and slinging the bag over her shoulder, she grabbed her coat and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

She was going to regret doing this.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Sylvia Virtos //:​

A quiet day on Coruscant was rare nowadays, especially with the Alliance beginning their campaign on the Mandalorians. Quinn flicked her finger across the datapad in her lap. Several news outlets were talking about how the Senate had made their choices about the war. She mused over the politics of things for the Alliance and whether any of it was orchestrated by a secret Sith. Quinn chuckled and dipped the end of the pastry in the cup of tea next to her.

The thought of a Sith in the Senate was a classic move, but it was old and done. Quinn closed the tablet and set it aside; she focused on the pastry and the tea for a few moments. Her life seemingly was coming together, and for once, she didn't have anything threatening to ruin it. She thought of Vesta often, but having Alina back, the pain wasn't as devastating. The pastry quickly disappeared, and the Princess relaxed, sipping the final bits of her tea.

Quinn brought the cup to her lips, and the chime on the door echoed at that moment. Entering the small cafe was the last person she would have ever thought to see. Sylvia Virtos, the Sylvia Virtos in the flesh. Quinn felt her hold on the cup tighten; every ounce of frustration bubbled to the surface. Quinn's vision was red, remembering how she almost told the Spacer she loved her. There was a point and time when the Princess had felt love for the Spacer and had wanted to take care of her despite their past. They had both been scorned by love and were trying to mend together. But Sylvia quickly threw that away, threw Quinn away, and returned to Elle.

As the pink-haired woman drew closer, Quinn placed her cup on the table. She refused to make eye contact and quickly snipped loud enough for the woman to hear her. "Couldn't stay away, or are you finally here to tell me to my face how much fun it was breaking my heart?" It took everything she could to not throw the cup at the woman; Quinn was more angry with herself than Sylvia. The Princess was stupid and foolish to allow herself to be vulnerable with someone like Sylvia. "Coward."

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Standing before the door of the cafe, the wish to turn around and leave nearly overwhelmed Sylvia. Sometimes it was better to leave well enough alone, but part of her knew she was using that as an excuse to avoid the confrontation with someone she hurt. This had to be done, even if just to have done the right thing. Even if it was far too late. A forceful sigh escaped the woman's lips.

She quietly counted to three, then approached the door. Hesitation left her standing with her hand on the door handle for a second, but commit she would. She was just there to grab some caf and would pretend to not see Quinn, if she was even still there to begin with. To work herself up so much, only to find out that Quinn had already left by the time she arrived, now that would've been something. It would let her off easy, she supposed.

The little bell at the door rang and in the woman with magenta hair stepped. Her eyes quickly darted around the place and she confirmed that Quinn was still present.

'This is dumb. So karking dumb. Why am I doing this?'

No matter how much she regretted it, turning around and leaving felt like even worse of an idea now. With the best poker face she could muster, Sylvia went to walk past Quinn's seat to approach the counter. She only made it a few steps past the echani, though. Words as sharp as daggers froze her in place. She remained silent, still facing the counter, her head bowing downwards slightly. There, she stood for a while, lost for words. She hadn't come in with a plan.

Then, the final jab. Coward.

"Yeah, I am," Sylvia admitted, unmoving. "I hurt you, and I was scared. Of seeing you hurt, of what you'd say to me." The act had been dropped completely. She blurted it all out, then ran out of words to say just as quickly. She wanted to say more, apologize, tell her she was trying to stop being a coward by being here in the first place, but she had no idea how to even begin to address all of it. Instead, she just stood there.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Sylvia Virtos //:​

"Well, the first thing you can do is stop standing there like an idiot." The sharpness didn't leave Quinn's voice. A foot kicked the chair before her, enough for Sylvia to sit down. Fingers laced around the cup handle, she quietly sipped the tea, waiting for the Spacer to take the seat. This was a meeting Quinn had been waiting on for years. To finally face Sylvia and tell her how terribly she had handled things. "Scared of seeing me hurt?" Quinn questioned with a laugh, "So you'd rather just run off with whatever her name was and pretend like anything we had didn't mean anything?" Remembering everything only made her fingers press into the fragile stone the cup was made of.

She let her words sink in. Quinn wanted Sylvia to feel how hurt she was, but she caught herself. They had fallen into the way they were as children. Quinn bullied Sylvia, trying to make her feel terrible. She sighed, set the tea down, and pushed the untouched cake towards the other girl. "Don't worry about it. I-" Quinn leaned back in her chair and placed her hands in her lap. "I'm okay, and I understand." In a sense, Quinn had done the same thing to Alina. "I understand the desperate pull to someone you didn't have closure with, someone you couldn't see yourself without." Old feelings, ones that made her think of Vesta and what could have been if only…

"I forgive you. I have to thank you, though - you let me heal." Quinn shrugged. "I realized that I could love someone again. I wish you would have decided not to get back at me like this." It was an easy assumption. Their past lined up with Sylvia getting any sense of revenge. Quinn couldn't be upset about it. Either way, she learned a lesson she needed, but it didn't stop her from hating Sylvia for it.

"What you did was cruel, but I guess I deserved it. Hope it made up for whatever you needed."

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Was I that cruel?
Quinn Varanin ​

---

Through gritted teeth the near-hostile invitation to sit down was received. Anger was the first thing Sylvia had expected, and yet she was woefully unprepared to handle it. This whole thing had been thought out unbelievably poorly. There was no getting out of it anymore, though. She was in the deep water and it was sink or swim. Either way, though, she'd do the right thing somehow. There was no other chance to at least try to close this chapter properly. After a deep breath out, she turned towards the chair and meekly moved towards it. Her eyes remained downcast as she sat down she did not scoot any closer to the table, either.

And then the accusation came. Worst of all, it wasn't even entirely wrong. Sylvia's reasons and possible excuses didn't change the facts. To say what Quinn and herself once had meant nothing to her was the furthest thing from the truth, but she hadn't acted like it. Her hand moved towards the back of her neck and her mouth opened, but closed again a moment later as she realized she had no idea what to even say.

It was too late to respond long before she had found the words to tell Quinn that it hadn't been meaningless. While the echani's words did finally get Sylvia to look up, the cake remained unacknowledged. There was no way she was going to be able to get anything past the lump in her throat. And even though Quinn claimed she as fine, Sylvia knew that wasn't really true. There was only one person to blame for that.

While the echani started off accurately once the initial flare of anger had simmered down, she ended with assumptions that couldn't have been further from the truth. It painted a picture of a vengeful Sylvia, perhaps even spiteful- enough to break her silence.

"G-get back at you? Nonono, no, absolutely not. Did you really think I wanted to exact some kind of revenge? After having told you a thousand times that all the academy chit was dead and buried?" While Sylvia started off nearly stumbling over her own words, her tone quickly began showing a lot more backbone. This had to be addressed.

"You're wrong. I didn't want to hurt you, okay, and the fact I did still fething haunts me."

Yet as quickly as the confidence came did it leave her. She slumped back into her chair, her head bowing down once more. "I came here to apologize. Tell you I regret what I did and then some. That the fact I was scared doesn't excuse chit." It took all of her willpower to not get up and walk out of the cafe then and there.

"I was shaking when I wrote that message. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, and I regretted it the moment I sent it. Want to know what I did afterwards?"