Private Down To The Roots

[Everest Vale]

The soil was cool against Eve's fingertips, damp from the morning’s light mist. She pressed it gently, feeling the weight of the earth settle beneath her hands as she knelt beside a small bed of delicate white blossoms.

They were fragile-looking things, their petals soft and thin, as if a single brush of wind could scatter them. And yet, their roots dug deep. Even here, in the heart of Coruscant, where metal and stone stretched endlessly toward the sky, they found a way to grow.

Eve let out a slow breath as she reached for a small wooden spade resting beside her, carefully loosening the soil around the base of a younger plant, ensuring the roots had room to breathe. The process was methodical, quiet, a way to keep her hands moving, useful. But her thoughts… They never really stopped moving.

She had spent the last few days, weeks, trying; trying to meditate, trying to study, trying to heal. And yet, whenever she closed her eyes, whenever she let her mind drift into the Force, she felt it again. The pull. The ache. Thoughts of Azzie.

She had tried to push it aside, bury it, tell herself she would act when the time came. But it wasn’t that simple. The longer Azzie remained out there, wherever she was, whatever was happening to her, the more Eve felt it in her bones. The anxiety was eating away at her, one day after another.

A small tremor passed through her fingers as she pressed them into the dirt again, harder than necessary.

I should be doing something...

The thought was immediate, sharp. Selfish, even. She had told the young Kaelos Vryn in the hospital just that previous week that sometimes slowing down was necessary, that rushing forward wasn’t always the answer. But what if she was just telling herself that to feel better?

She let out a slow sigh, setting the spade down beside her. The flowers in front of her stood tall, beautiful despite their delicacy. In a way, she envied them.

She wasn’t sure if she herself was growing at all...

Aadihr Lidos
​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

The crisp morning breeze brought a chill that roused the snowy-haired, blindfolded Jedi from his meditative posture.

Tranquility no longer found him.

The days of prolonging meditation in a collapsing durasteel tomb were past, but Aadihr had not found solace since. The quiet acceptance of his death was replaced with something else when he was rescued. Something that his arm fed from. A fire inside that he had tried to bottle up, tried to flee to where it might not harm others. One must see to themselves in order to be in any condition to help others. The words made sense, but he had learned truly what it meant due to the burnout of his arm.

He learned this thing about himself. He had felt it even before receiving burn from The Red - a motivation of spite, a quiet slow-burning contempt from a life spent hiding, appeasing, avoiding conflict. Directing hatred from his past, projecting it to those who fed upon violence, grew fat, from it, who fought for sport or for glory.

The illusions of his projections had shattered. He too was human. Malice grew, fed from burn of his left arm, fed from the bond Azurine Varek had formed, and pressurized from a life of repression.

Controlled release was key. Direct this wrath where it is useful and just. Something he would consider hypocritical if it wasn't necessary for his survival now.

His posture was meditative, but he tranquility did not find him. He was bathing in his grudges, entertaining the thoughts he had denied himself lest they consume him. He was ruminating, seething, plotting, lost in his own thoughts under a facade.

Until the breeze brought a chill, pulling his mind back to here and now.

Aadihr let out a breath. He was present. He was calm.

The fire within dimmed. It was under control. It had been sated but it grew ever more ravenous, ever more painful. The day it asked too much of him was the day Aadihr would remove the entire limb himself. He would not be prisoner to this curse. It lived only as long as Aadihr found it useful. As long as Aadihr permitted it.

There it was again. The cold, spiteful inner child that he had been blind to.

Aadihr perished the line of thinking, observing his surroundings, the radiance of the flora illuminating the Force — and a presence nearby. A presence that was troubled, anxious. One he remembered fleetingly, a memory of calming waves upon a shoreline.

Cleansed of his flame for now, Aadihr sought out the troubled aura tending to the garden.

Her aura turned a shade of slight envy whilst inspecting her handiwork. He did not know why she envied the flowers, but he knew why he did.

"You're right to envy them. The burden of sentience is heavy - but it is our duty and burden as caretakers of the galaxy, our time of service to care for non-sentient life before we are allowed to pass on and reunite with the matter of the galaxy."

His words were directed at the Echani, but his voice was distant. Even as he spoke the words he found they felt foreign and needlessly esoteric, a frequent symptom after Woostri. It felt as if eloquence and coherent thought fled with each syllable until he would ramble like a madman.

"I see turmoil within you - what disturbs you, child?"

By Ashla I sound like an old man

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

She didn't hear the gentle, rhythmic tapping on stone, so engrossed in her work, but Eve was ripped suddenly from her nigh disassociative fixation when the Miraluka spoke, causing her breath to hitch. She swivelled around to see a familiar figure, someone she wouldn't soon forget, and the two distinct memories she had of him danced in her mind as one.

He spoke with a certain idle pensiveness, relaxing in tone, hinting to a natural wisdom that brewed from within. Eve realised, despite encountering him twice already, this was the first time he had heard him properly speak. She understood what he was saying, and found herself agreeing, but she didn't quite find the words to express her thoughts on the matter before he had moved on to a question.

What disturbed her? Eve wasn't really sure what to say to that. There was simply too much that disturbed her, every waking and sleeping hour. But perhaps paramount now was thoughts of Azzie. She had heard her through the Force, a terrible, painful shriek that froze her bones. She couldn't shake it from her mind, and the longer the memory marinated within her, the harder it was getting for her to simply sit around idly passing the time.

"Many... things..."

Her voice was solemn, quiet. She let the words hang between them for a while, choked in the difficult silence that filled the space, as she searched for more to say. She wasn't going to just spill her guts to someone she barely knew. That would be rude of her. And yet...

"I was... hoping we could talk sometime, actually..."

She understood the Knight and Azzie were close, maybe in the same way she and Tigris were. She wasn't sure. But the encounter on New Cov made her aware of something deeper between them, and eventually that memory returned to her after Woostri. If there was someone to talk to about Azzie, it would have been this man. She brushed her hands and tunic and stood up, turning to face him properly.

"You're Knight Lidos, aren't you? I'm Everest... Padawan Everest Vale... but Eve is fine... We've met before... Well, we've met twice..."

Aadihr Lidos​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

"I was... hoping we could talk sometime, actually. You're Knight Lidos, aren't you? I'm Everest... Padawan Everest Vale... but Eve is fine... We've met before... Well, we've met twice..."

Aadihr recalled meeting on New Cov briefly with embarrassment. He had heard from Aris about Valery's new Padawan after Jedha as well.

The trepidation in her voice meant it probably was better to avoid overly fixating on the past. Especially before his arm - freshly bandages once more - caught up to his embarrassment.
"Nice to meet you under more controlled circumstances, Eve - I'm just Aadihr, Aadihr is fine."

Okay, maybe he wanted to avoid fixating on the past more, he conceded to himself. He might as well address it.

"I promise I'm not usually on the verge of death or, uh, panic - just an unlucky coincidence." Except Aadihr didn't believe in coincidence. The Force certainly had some sense of humor.

But Eve and Azzie both shared Valery as their mentor...

Perhaps this too was no mere coincidence.

Just don't say that out loud, it's bound to come out like more madman ramblings or worse, like sounding like a geriatric soothsayer

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve smiled, but it didn't quite fully reach the quartz of her eyes.

"It's nice to meet you too, Aadihr, at long last." Part of her wanted to say more. 'I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you on Jedha.' 'Are you okay after New Cov?' None of it quite felt right to bring up, though.

She stood there awkwardly, silently, for a moment, unsure of what to say next. She felt there was a lot to say, but where does one start when faced with someone with whom one held such a strange and presently painful connection with? Maybe the words would come later. She cleared her throat.

"Do you like tea? The cafe is nearby. I'm finished here now anyway... I was just making sure these little saplings had enough room to grow." She glanced back at them. "Some day, they'll be as big and strong as all these other trees around them..." A sigh escaped her as she became lost in thought for a moment. Maybe one day she, too, would be able to stand amongst her peers in the same capacity. Maybe.

She pulled herself out of the spontaneous rumination and turned back to the Knight.

"Or we can just... walk somewhere." She gave a small, nervous shrug, it slipping her mind that he wouldn't see it. Whatever they chose to do, she just needed to clear her head somehow.

Aadihr Lidos​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

"Do you like tea? The cafe is nearby. I'm finished here now anyway... I was just making sure these little saplings had enough room to grow." She glanced back at them. "Some day, they'll be as big and strong as all these other trees around them..."

Aadihr let out a laugh if irony once more. The Force absolutely did have a sense of humor.

"Yes - in fact, that very cafe is where I first spoke with your sister-padawan." Well, not counting the dance on dantooine he shared with Azurine Varek , they had barely known each other at that time.

Aadihrs ironic mirth trailed off at the mention of Azzie. He could still feel her, despite the faintness of the link Azzie had accidentally placed on them. The infancy of a dyad he had later learned.

Aadihr broke the pained silence, "She still lives." It was small comfort, considering death may be more merciful from what he had felt. From what he had to vent before boiling over vicariously.

"Perhaps tea is in order." Aadihr continued. A cup to soothe the faint connection at the very least.

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

Pangs worked their way through Eve's heart, and an involuntary exhale escaped her as that unspoken presence standing between them was suddenly invoked. It took all that she could muster to prevent herself from tearing up on the spot, and the silence that lingered seemed to stretch out the pain to its limit.

"She still lives."

She felt this herself, and had hoped it was the case. That terrible scream that ripped through her that night had remained seared into her consciousness. It was now a memory she could never shake. But she couldn't quite bring herself to mention it, not yet. The mere thought of it all suddenly again forced her lip into quivering. She was grateful when the Miraluka continued, taking up her offer so she could move on from the moment. She blinked away the moisture that had started to form in the corner of her eyes.

"Mhm..."

They made their way towards the café, treading down the path that weaved through the trees and hedgelines of the gardens. The soft trickling of fountains could be heard nearby, and a soft breeze tickled lightly against the awareness. Overhead, a soft golden light dappled at an angle through trees. It would have been considered a beautiful day, peaceful, if not for those subdued storms that plagued their hearts.

Eve brought a pot of deychin tea to where the two had chosen to settle. Being mid-morning, the café was rather quiet. Eve was grateful. Not that she was expecting to have some kind of public emotional outburst — though it wouldn't have surprised her if she did — but the safety of quietude to soak in her feelings was appreciated. Besides, being Master Noble's Padawan always put her under scrutiny, and people liked listening to gossip.

Eve exhaled, pouring a cup for both of them. Her fingers curled briefly around her own and retracted immediately from the heat. She forced herself to speak, break the silence again.

"This is a personal favourite... Deychin. In times of stress, I find it's quite grounding."

Aadihr Lidos​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

"This is a personal favourite... Deychin. In times of stress, I find it's quite grounding."

Aadihr ordered Tarine tea, though could not find words as to why. It was bitter when unsweetened, but felt cleansing with the hints of mint and peach.

His mind was elsewhere, however. The snowy-haired Miraluka was notoriously bad at small talk...

She turned her attention to the blindfold as he carefully took it off and folded it to set it to the side. Her curiosity ran rampant as she moved closer, one of her hands reaching forward, though she hesitated. "Do you mind if I—"

...Aadihr brought his mind back to the present. Despite the venue being the same, the different lights within the Force made it seem almost a different space entirely. Everything had changed since then. He had changed, and it wasn't for the better.

"I've not had deychin in a long while-" Aadihr abruptly stopped as he found his voice threatening to betray his emotions, a warble in his larynx threatened a slight sob. Instead, he sipped, resisting the sudden urge to sneeze - a byproduct of vestigial tear duct stimulation.

The blindfold only made it worse, like a direct tickling to his sinuses. He untied the blindfold - a life day gift from Azzie. Everything seemed to be a reminder of her.

It read: "You're stronger than you think, even in moments when you feel like you're not." In common braille,
"It can't replace what you lost out there, protecting my people.

He untied the blindfold perhaps too hurriedly, setting it beside the platter and cup. Pulled off like it was strangling him.

Aadihr's eyeless face couldnt refrain from furrowing his brows, however. He cleared his throat and mind before continuing, "Where are you from, Eve? What brought you to the Jedi Order?" He asked, tilting his head so his ear was closer to the Echani girl - an old habit formed in lieu of eye contact.

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

​

Eve suddenly wasn't too sure where to look, and her eyes darted around briefly before settling on her cup. She had never met a Miraluka before, and she'd be lying if she said the sudden sight of an eyeless face wasn't initially jarring for her. Nevertheless, she wasn't rude, and the immediate shock subsided almost right away.

"Where are you from, Eve? What brought you to the Jedi Order?"​

"Oh..." She suddenly thought herself so stupid to not even realise Aadihr absolutely wouldn't be able to tell she was Echani unless told. "I'm from Eshan."

She dwelled a little on his question, though. This was a story she had told a few before, but she wasn't quite sure how much detail she was prepared to share this time around, simply for the fact she felt far too sensitive about everything already. After a few awkward taps against her cup, she decided on how to say it, leaving out the details that might make her cry on the spot.

"My father, he was a Jedi, and..." She exhaled slowly, clearly wrestling with the memory that followed. She chose her next words selectively, not quite ready to face it all today, of all days. "I met another Jedi once, when I was very young. She... helped... me and my mother... when we needed it the most." The words hung between them for a moment as she processed the thoughts running through her mind yet again. "I always wanted to just... help... help everyone."

She cleared her throat immediately after her voice started cracking by the end of her last sentence, and she took the chance to turn the question back to him, distracting herself from her own emotions that threatened to spill out.

"How about you? If you don't mind me asking..."

Aadihr Lidos​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

As soon as Aadihr had asked he could see Eve's aura stir. While he didn't regret asking, he could tell he asked about a sensitive topic. He pushed for no details she did not feel ready to share, and he pried no further for now.

An Echani of Jedi lineage, marked by tragedy, helped by a Jedi and brought into the fold.

Aadihr nodded - he could only imagine the pain that accompanied the tumultuous ridges in her aura. There was, of course, more to the tale but it was either too fresh or too painful for her to speak upon - and both of them were clearly affected by recent events.

"How about you? If you don't mind me asking..."

Aadihr was happy to steer the conversation away from her pain, from their pain, even if just for a moment.

"Well, I am Miralukan - from Alpheridies, which is not our native planet but that's a whole ancient history-slash-religious tale thing."

He pointed to his missing eyes, having noted her earlier surprise, and continued, "All of my people are born like this - millenia of life under an infrared sun that'll fry most eye's lenses will do that; but that same light is great for crops, and livestock don't seem to mind it. My parents are farmers, as is, I presume, my younger sister."
He spared a moment to wonder how they were doing before continuing: "thankfully, Ashla deemed it fit to gift us with an innate talent for Force Sight - so we're not truly blind, per se. It's more like a different spectrum of light, just not emitted in waves of photons, or however it works for the rest of you."

He was talking her ear off, he realized, but nostalgia brought back pleasant memories for him - even accidentally slipping into his miralukese accent slightly.

"Anyway, all of us can see in the force but few of us have enough force sensitivity to qualify to become a Jedi. It was big news for the whole town when I was evaluated at the temple, and my parents would brag about it endlessly until the day came to transfer from the backwater temple on Alpheridies to Coruscant."

Aadihr sighed. Things only got worse from there. "Anyway," he spoke after a moment, subconsciously with slowed pace, accent replaced with his usual speech patterns. "I haven't visited seen Alpheridies or my family since. Just never had the time to divert from studies and, when I finally did, the Mandalorian fanatics had taken the sector."

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

It was all fascinating. Eve had heard about the Miraluka people but didn't know much at all. Eve let a gentle smile come to her as Aadihr spoke of his past that lead to Coruscant. It was partly reminiscent of her own decision to go and the moments leading up to it, though that was all rather bittersweet. Eve swallowed.

"I didn't mean to seem so... startled. I'm sorry." She supposed he would have picked up on that. The words hung for a moment as she took a breath, thinking carefully about what she might say next.

"Thank you for sharing. I hope... you get the chance return home again sometime... Home is... i-important..." She thought a moment about her own home, and it sent a sudden sting through her heart. The endless sensation of being pulled in two directions made her ache, both for longing to be home after everything, and for fear of never feeling truly at home anywhere again. Not to mention the hurt she would bring to her mother if she saw her like... this. It was exhausting to always feel so much. She released the breath that had kept the thought locked inside of her.

Silence prevailed again. A soft breeze brew past them, carrying with it the distant scene of the garden herbs over yonder. It was a delicate push against the silence that was otherwise becoming deafening. Eve took sips of her tea. The subtly of its floral taste filled her senses, and it gave her a sense of calm as it always did every time she had a cup.

But it wasn't quite enough anymore. The invisible presence remained between them, and the weight of everything on her mind was threatening to spill out. The gentle clink of ceramic on ceramic cut through the quiet.

"Kni— Aadhir... I'm... We..." The words struggled to formulate in her mind, scrambled within the cacophony of anxiety that brewed endlessly inside of her, and before she had any say in the matter, tears had started to well in her eyes. "I... I miss her... I miss her so much..."

She wanted to say more, needed to say more, had so much to say... but if she tried, she knew she wouldn't be able to hold her feelings in anymore.

Aadihr Lidos​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

"I didn't mean to seem so... startled. I'm sorry."
"Thank you for sharing. I hope... you get the chance return home again sometime... Home is... i-important..."

"It's all in the past now," Aadihr said, not dismissively but pensively. Quite simply, home was the idealized memories of his youth, and he didn't dare to break that illusion by returning just yet.

The silence was deafening as Eve worked up the courage to speak.

"Kni— Aadhir... I'm... We... I... I miss her... I miss her so much..."

The sight of the Padawan 's pained aura alongside her words, accompanied by the lingering effects of his connection to Azzie provided just enough of an emotional surge to bypass his guard. The unhealing burn fed, submerging his arm in a dark tone of the Force.

Aadihr clenched his jaw and subconsciously grabbed his bandages wrist, pressing it to the table.

"I do too, Eve." Worry and guilt gave way to the quiet seething that looked for any loose emotion to feed upon.

"...I do too."

His passivity only drew more shame, more anger, inward, outward. He should be doing something.

"I'm going to get her back. I'm... I'm done waiting for the Council to take action. I'll go directly to Valery Noble - I'll take Aris with me, he's faced his grandfather before, we'll rip into the heart of their space and drag her free from their wretched grip"

Aadihr's pace increased, the veil hiding his manic fury growing thin as he plotted. His sorrow turned to anger turned to a twisted excitement at the chance for revenge, the bandaged fingers of his left hand writhed in anticipation before crushing the teacup within to sharp shards and powder of ceramic.

Abruptly, the Miraluka's face was stone. His runaway thought process forcefully ripped from his mind as knight Lidos exerted control once more.

"... First, we go to the Grandmaster."

Only then did he notice the slight clattering of the teacups, the ripples in the dark liquid caused by the tremors of his left hand against the table - and the mingling mix of Tarine tea and dripping of crimson spreading on the table.

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve froze as the event unfolded before her, unsure of what to do. She could see a myriad of feeling and thought racing across the Knight's face, all increasingly uncomfortable to watch, until the tension suddenly broke, Aadihr's cup along with it. A gasp escaped her, and she startled from the moment.

Instinct set in when she saw the blood pooling. She stood promptly, using her legs to push the chair away from her, and raced to the other end of the cafe where the serving counter stretched along the far end wall. After pleading with the server, she came back quickly with a thick wad of tissues. She was trembling from the shock of the moment, and hadn't noticed the tears in her eyes had finally started to trickle down her cheeks from the overwhelming feeling of... everything, all at once... but she endeavoured to mop up the tea and blood from the surface. She eyed Aadihr's hand. It was messy.

"D-Do you n-need some help?" She tried to communicate that she would try to clean the fresh wound, yet the moment dazed her, and she sat there unsure of what to do next. "I-I'm sorry," she said finally, perhaps unnecessarily, her natural panic seemingly enough for both of them. "I didn't mean... A-Are you okay?"

Aadihr Lidos​

 

[Aadihr Lidos]

Outfit: Clothes, Earring, Bangle
Weapons: Walking stick / Lightsaber Pike

"I'm fine," Aadihr lied. He effort in stifling the outburst made his voice cold and distant.

He had to be cold. Cold and hard as ice - the only way he would be able to handle everything, to gain some form of control. He began picking out ceramic shards from his palm, appearing absentminded about it.

"You've done nothing wrong. I've been dealing with a... condition. Poorly timed with the rest of recent events. I should see to its removal. It's becoming a liability I can scarcely afford."

The bandages had been pulled back, revealing fresh-looking second and third degree burns along the wrist and forearm. A living burn that radiated darkness. Aadihr steeled himself, stowed away his emotions in a glacial vault, to starve it.

His eyeless face was cast at the arm as if he might callously sever it. He was doing more than resisting the allure of the dark side, he was actively holding a curse at bay, every hour.

"This will be over soon." His voice was resolute - not that this would pass, but that he would will it to be so.

Everest Vale​

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve instinctively leaned back a fraction when she caught sight of the scar — not from fear, but from the quiet, rippling discomfort that radiated from it like heat off stone. Whatever it was, whatever it meant, it carried a weight far heavier than she could name. She didn't fully understand what she was seeing, but the Force around it whispered of pain... of restraint... of something deeply buried and still burning.

She said nothing. Just sat with it. Sat with him. Her gaze softened, her presence quiet, offering only empathy without intrusion. That was Eve's way, to feel, to hold without asking to know. The tension between them eased slowly, the air settling. Eve watched, still wanting to help, still unsure how. But her thoughts inevitably drifted to what lay ahead, to the weight they were both carrying.

"I know..." she murmured finally, voice small but certain. "I know it will be."

Her eyes wandered, unfocused now, as if searching anywhere and nowhere in particular for answers. For courage. She wasn't sure she was ready, not for what was coming, not even for what would be asked of her. But she would be. Her crystal trial loomed ahead, and whoever she became on the other side of it... she hoped it would be enough.

"Master Noble..." she began again, more tentatively now, "She's planning something. She hasn't said much, not... not about Azzie. Not yet. But..." She drew a steadying breath, her fingers curling faintly into her sleeve.

"I know her. I know she's working hard, even if she doesn't show it. And when the time comes..."

Her silver eyes moved back to Aadihr, steady now, resolute.

"I'll be there too."

Aadihr Lidos​