Dreams To Realise

[Stephanie Swail]

Alliance Jedi Temple
Coruscant, Core Worlds

Upon this site, a Jedi Temple once stood. And it fell. Then, from the ashes, it rose again.

It since fell, rose. Fell, rose.

Fallen.

Risen.

Darkness.

Light.

Sorrowful eyes looked up at the new Jedi temple, this time belonging to the Galactic Alliance. Stephanie Swail knew of them, but didn’t have any knowledge of them, who they were or what they wanted. All she knew is that where she had been brought to as a girl, trained and trusted by Republic scientist and Jedi Masters, that place was now gone.

A new shell stood in its place, atop millennia of memories.

A few bodies milled around here, walking here and there. Speeders broke from the skyline to bring in people to the temple, or take them away.

Coruscant had changed, but sometimes if she closed her eyes, it was still the same.

She let out a sigh, holding onto her satchel and wearing her shield. Part of her wanted to lay the shield at the stairs of the temple in memory of her time with the Republic now since departed, but then she would lose all her ties to her roots.

Instead, she just stood there. Her brown hair blew gently across her face, and her shawl fluttered lightly. She bore scratches on her neck. Scrapes on her legs and blood was speckled over her skirt and back.

Her journey had been hard. It had been rewarding in places, but hard in others. Especially Korriban and Commenor.

She had wanted to return to some normality on Coruscant, but, it seemed normality didn’t have a place here. And so neither did she.

Just a few more minutes. A few more. Then, she would go.

Where? Who knew. Who cared.

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

The Jedi Temple of Coruscant. Nylea had never been here before, there never was a real reason to. When she was brought the the planet against her will all those years ago she was force-fed hate towards the Light, but even after finally breaking away from the Dark Side she simply never came here. The Jedi master who saved her from the tendrils of Darkness and who taught her everything she knew about the Light did things her own way, and so the Echani never found herself amongst other followers of the Light. She missed the woman and wondered what she learned in her life of solitude, hoping she would return one day.

She still did not have any reason to be here, however. Nylea wasn't even sure if she could call herself a Jedi. Perhaps she had done too much to ever deserve such a title. Pangs of guilt shot through her, the dormant beast within her waking up once again. She had vowed to never take a life again, but still bore the conscience of every life she had taken in the past no matter what she did in the present. She now did whatever she could to help the people in need around her, whenever she could. She was saving lives instead of ending them, that much was true, but in reality it didn't ease her soul.

As she recalled those things, Nylea wondered what she expected to find. It was nothing in particular. She was looking for something, anything that would help her to understand, perhaps to tell her she wasn't beyond redemption. As she thought about it more she realized it wasn't as much looking as it was hoping. Hope. Maybe she was asking for too much, but hope was a powerful thing.

The Echani approached the stairs and looked out towards the people around, taking in their presence. One of them was different, somehow. She felt sorrow coming from the soul of the woman she now had laid her eyes on. She slowly walked over and during her approach she noticed specks of blood on her clothing and scratches and scrapes on her skin. She pushed away her guilt like she would do whenever she was doing what she saw as her duty and stopped right beside her. She looked up towards the temple, feeling the wind slightly tugging at her hood. The Echani wanted to say something, anything, but didn't know what to say. It was clear that the stranger next to her had gone through a lot. She turned her head toward and the woman and gave a small nod and a smile, the rest of her facial expression creating a look of seriousness.

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

It didn’t surprise her, or bother her really, that another came to stand beside her. When one was looking in awe / sadness / confusion at something, others would be drawn to it out of curiosity. This girl was soothing in her aura, and she was strong and confident. She was also…feeling…like she had to prove something? A strong determination and stubborn resilience against…something?

Stephanie didn’t want to look at first. She’d met many faces recently, and all had come and gone. She’d taken a little from each, and rather than clinging on for fear of them leaving, she let them go. Still, from the red-head with the scar on Dosuun to the man with the hat on Commenor, she didn’t forget a face.

But this one, when she finally glanced over out of politeness, Stephanie looked a little longer than she wanted. Silver eyes and hair that seemed to sparkle like electricity – who was – what was…?

A little smile formed, but soon went, and she looked back up at the imposing temple.

"Lots of history here," Stephanie sighed. "Lots of good, and bad. Makes you want to appreciate what you have now. But it also makes you feel like you’ve done nothing defining with your life so far. The world moves so fast. So quickly. You have to keep up. You have to."

It was a little speech to herself, maybe, and would probably lead to some philosophical chit-chat before the woman moved away.

Was she a Jedi….she felt like one and looked like one…but, then, she had come to learn not everything who looked like something actually WAS anything.

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

The Echani returned the smile when the stranger looked at her. She listened to the small speech while looking at the temple herself, storing it away in her mind somewhere. Life was about learning, and every would could have a deeper meaning if you looked for it. "And mistakes are made just as quickly. I have made too many of those." She resisted getting emotional, but she felt the weight of her past press down on her shoulders. "You try to keep up, create something. Do something that definines who you are or changes the world for the better but then..." Nylea shook her head and tilted it downwards a bit, then closed her eyes. "You are faced with an impossible decision, and you take the selfish way out. Then you tell yourself you'll never do it again, but after the first time the second go around is so much easier, the third even more so." She didn't know why it was, but she had to fight back tears. It was something that normally never happened, but at this moment she felt like she was undeserving of anything. "Then, even when somebody reached out their hand and lifts you out of the hole you fell in, you still walk around with the wounds and scars. You do whatever you can to heal them, but you can't. It's not possible." The woman couldn't place why she said all this. There was no reason to, yet there she stood, pouring her heart out towards a stranger. "No matter what you do, the past haunts you. But the world keeps moving. You can't stop." She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again, looking up towards the temple once more. "I regret a lot of what I have done. Would I have done the right thing, then I wouldn't be standing here right now. All I can do now is devote what shouldn't have been mine to the Light, and to helping others."

The silver-haired woman stopped herself for a moment. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Things have been stressful lately and... I don't even know why I'm here, to be honest." She reached out her hand to offer a handshake. "Nylea. If you ever need my help, it's what I live for."

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

A sad smile was there nearly all the time the silver-haired girl spoke. One that was evident of memories felt herself, by Stephanie, and one that she knew of nothing else to do but...listen and be sympathetic.

The girl spoke wise words, and it was evident she had been through a lot. It was admirable how she battled to hold back the tears. And then, her hand came out.

Stephanie took it and shook it gently.

"Stephanie Swail. If you ever need help, then that's what I live for too. To help. To guide. To protect."

And with a sheepish grin, she looked away and shrugged. She looked like a plain tourist compared to the attire worn by this brave Nylea.

"Although dressed like this I'm not so sure! But my heart is pure, like yours. My aim is true, like yours, and so nothing I wear changes that. It's what is inside that counts."

Looking back to the temple, Stephanie smiled in thanks. Thanks for sending a kind-hearted follower of the Light here to find solace with. She turned to Nylea.

"Would you like to go for a walk? Coruscant can be very beautiful at night. And I'm a good listener. I'm fascinated to hear about your journey to where you stand now, and the destiny you want to make for yourself." She offered an arm to link. A little smile formed, but soon went, and she looked back up at the imposing temple. "What do you say."

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

The woman introduced herself as Stephanie and she seemed to be willing to help the people around her, much like a Jedi. Perhaps she is one of them, Nylea thought to herself, making a mental note to ask the question later. "It is most definitely what is on the inside that counts, I can agree on that." The heaviness in her voice lifted somewhat now that her rambling was over and she slowly started recomposing herself. There still was a tinge of sadness to be found, however. "My heart is far from pure after all I've done, though. As much as I try to make things right the past will keep haunting me." She sighed. "But that is a long story."

The brunette offered a walk and the Echani saw no reason to object. "Coruscant is indeed beautiful at night. It's unfortunate most of my nights are spent trying to get any sort of sleep in. If my thoughts permit it, at least." She shook her head and let out a half chuckle. "I'm sorry for being so negative. Like I've said before, times have been stressful." She waited a second after Stephanie's arm was offered to link but decided to accept the offer. "If you want to know my story, I suppose I can tell you. Perhaps you could tell me yours as well." She took another look at the temple and decided to visit its interiors later. "What I want my destiny to be however, I couldn't tell you. Soul-searching is hard when you try to come to the aid of the people of Coruscant."

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

Stephanie started walking, maybe talking a nice tour around the perimeter of the Temple itself, to see all sides of the grand building and also the different views of the planet sprawling around them, framing them in their walk.

"You sound a very noble and brave person, Nylea."

She looked ahead and chewed her lip for a second.

"I feel a sadness in you, and it’s not nice at all. Are you afraid of something? Afraid of yourself?" She quickly turned to the Jedi. "Not in a bad way! I mean, do you doubt yourself, or hold back?"

With a gentle pat of the hand, she smiled.

"Tell me what you want your destiny to be. Nobody dictates that, except you. And you should never lose sight of it, no matter how stressed or pressured you feel. There will never be pressure if you allow others to help you, and the Light will never let you lose your way."

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

As the two walked around the temple Nylea listened. She had to agree, if she met anyone who did things similar to her she would have seen them as someone who was very noble but she didn't see herself as that, or brave for that matter. All things considered she was a coward, someone who had killed innocent people just to stay alive herself. Everything she did now was to do whatever she could to set things right. To her that wasn't noble, but simply duty. She didn't reply to the comment however, unwilling to argue over such a thing.

A question was then asked to the Echani. There was a small sigh and her eyes cast down to the ground for a moment. "To answer that I would have to tell you about my past." She gave a slight nod to Stephanie. "But I'm alright with doing so. I wasn't born on Coruscant. Like most of the Echani I'm from Eshan." There was a slight pause as her eye caught a speeder flying by, watching it disappear behind the temple. "I grew up in a loving and caring family who meant the best for me. But then I was... Taken. A follower of the Dark Side held his blade at my neck and told me I was Force sensitive. I was fourteen and completely blindsided. He forced me to choose. Either I would come with him to Coruscant and became his apprentice, or I would die. The fact I'm standing here is because I came with him." She felt something prop up in her throat and a tear fell down her cheek. She quickly turned her head away a little in an attempt to hide it from the brunette next to her. She tilted it back after wiping the tear away with a motion that resembled scratching, making it seem she was dealing with an itch. "Those years were like living in the Void. It broke me. I-it broke me."

She wanted to stop and just run. Her mind was a mess and she did everything she could to keep herself together, but it was getting harder with every word she spoke. No. I need to finish this. A slight shake of her head signified the attempt to shake it off, but it didn't help much. Yet, she continued. "He pushed me further into the depths of the Dark Side every single day. There nothing but pain, fear, anger..." Another tear formed, but she didn't even notice it anymore. "One day, I woke up in a different room than the one I fell asleep in. It was dark, and I was woken up by the muffled cries of another person. I heard the voice of the man I unwillingly called my master. First, he told me to take my lightsaber, which was presented on a table. I did as I was told." She took a deep breath as she tried to muster up the strength to keep going. "He then told me to look at the person who was bound to a chair. I did that too." Nylea closed her eyes and bit down on her lip with almost enough force to make it bleed. "Then, he gave me a choice much like the day I met him. Either I would die..." Two small streams fell down from her eyes down her cheeks, stopping at her chin. "Or she would. By my hand. I should've let her go. She was innocent, I... I killed her. I killed her because I was a coward. A coward who was afraid she was going to die." She broke up the linked arms and wandered off for a moment, wanting to walk away. Finish. It. The Echani swallowed and turned back around to face Stephanie, then cast her head down. "When I took her life, something just... Snapped. I killed someone else not even twenty-four hours later. It was so easy. Then I killed another. And another. It just... Happened. I fell down a pit I couldn't climb out of, and it's my own fault." She didn't dare to look up again, afraid the woman was disgusted by her. In her mind she had every right to be. "The Light pulled me out, but that doesn't change the fact I killed all these people. So, yes. I am afraid. I am afraid of who I was. I am afraid that I am beyond redemption." Small teardrops fell onto the ground below as her mind simply broke down. "My destiny has already been set in stone. Every day I have stolen from the first person I killed will be to serve the Light and the innocent people of the galaxy. That is what my duty is now."

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

Stephanie smiled softly and nodded, letting the girl know it was ok to continue. There would be no judgement, and she would listen. It was good to talk about things; it made things clearer and put in more perspective.

So when Nylea began her story, Stephanie listened.

As it went on, it became harder to listen, and harder to comprehend what the girl had been through, or what she had done.

Her heart sank, and her face was solemn. It was then Nylea broke away and moved off, to which Stephanie tried to stop her but she had gone too far, but she didn’t leave.

Crossing her arms, placing a hand over her mouth, Stephanie welled up at the thought of having to kill innocents for fear of losing your own life. This girl had had her trust abused, her faith shattered and her morality broken. The darkness had manipulated and tricked her way of thinking, and she had been a slave to evil.

Killing was something Stephanie understood, and she knew it happened. But, to give your life for another? How could this girl be willing to do that when she didn’t even appreciate life itself, let alone hers. She had known little of life, and what part she played in things. For that reason, it was only natural to do anything to protect yourself.

Nylea hung her head, and Stephanie found it hard to watch. The Force bled out, and her empathy was strong in feeling the raw emotion coming out from her, and she felt nothing but remorse and guilt and disgust.

Stephanie strode forward and wrapped her arms around her, letting Nylea rest her brow on soft shoulders to cry, protest, talk...anything she wanted. She held the back of her head and looked out to Coruscant, swallowing her own sadness and putting strong assertiveness into her voice.

"Now you listen to me. You have been through an awful time, but you are here! You are a survivor of the Dark Side, and that makes you a shining example to others who are looking for redemption in these dark times."

With a little shake, she pulled away and held her shoulders, looking at her, both faces showing tear streaks.

"You have committed awful acts, but you have let the Light show you the way to admitting and taking responsibility for them. That is noble and brave, and I will not hear you put yourself down anymore! You are here for a reason, Nylea, and you are stronger than ever with the Light inside your heart."

She hated seeing people cry.

"Guide me. Take me in the Light and show me what it means to be a Jedi. Help me become as strong and brave as you."

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

That was her story. The story of a little girl who had grown up to become a cold-blooded killer against her will. Nylea expected Stephanie to walk away or or even worse perhaps, just stand there. In her mind she didn't deserve any sympathy, any remorse, or just anything for that matter. Seconds felt like lifetimes as she let her silence fall, her head hanging as she aimlessly looked down to the ground below her feet. The part she was most afraid of had come. The reaction. It's okay if she walks away, or scolds me, or-

The thing that happened was not any of the possibilities that raced through Nylea's brain. She had braced herself for so many things. A scolding, the sting of her walking away, she was even ready to defend herself if things went horribly wrong. But none of those things happened. Instead she felt an embrace.

Acceptance.

Nylea heard the woman speak and just listened. She was a mess and at a loss of words, but listen she could. Instead of being called out for who she used to be she was praised for the fact she had seen the errors of her ways and turned to the Light. She had told her story to another for the first time since meeting the one who had shown her the ways of the Light and that wasn't without reason. She was always afraid of turning people away, but something within Stephanie caused her to open up. She didn't know what it was or where it came from, but it just happened. The thought that deep down she knew this was going to be her reaction was what made her do it, but her mind was so scrambled there was no conclusive answer to be gained for any question.

The Echani still had trouble believing, though. She was thankful for the shoulder to, as much as she hated to do it, cry on, but the fear of who she was still festered within her. She hoped that this was a step forward in healing that wound.

The brunette pulled away a bit and looked at her, feeling the grip of her hands on her shoulders. Streams of tears that had rolled down her face were wiped away as quickly as she could. "I have nothing I can teach. I just... Am. I do what feels right to me, what makes the world around me a better place. I suppose, that if I am in any way an example for anything, it's that being more selfless is how you can embrace the light."

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

Stephanie had felt this before, but she didn’t know what it mean.

Was it empathy? She felt a huge weight lift for Nylea, and a big surge of relief as their embrace broke, and she took a deep breath to compose herself. It shouldn’t be here feeling so emotional. What was wrong with her?

"No, that’s it, you see?" Stephanie said with a small smile. "Teaching and guidance isn’t all about power, skill and combat. It’s about what’s inside you. In your heart."

She wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at her feet.

"I failed to make my way into the Silver Jedi Order, if you’ve heard of them? Out to the East. I didn’t find my place there, because I lacked something. Self-belief, or commitment? I don’t know, I can’t be sure. But, whatever it is, I’m trying to find it again. You being here you’re your past makes me feel there is hope for me yet – to find myself, to be myself again and have a place in the galaxy to help others by doing one thing."

With that, she looked up at the Jedi.

"Embrace the Light. Protect it. Defend it. Define it. Just like you are doing."

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

If this meeting ended here there would've been one thing Nylea gained from it, and that was hope. Hope that perhaps people could accept her past and were willing to leave it there. Hope that one day she could make an everlasting difference somewhere. As much as part of the Echani rejected the notion she had found herself just slightly believing that one day she could leave her past behind herself. "If that is something I can teach, I have no idea how. I suppose... I suppose showing you what I do would be the best way. It's not something I can just put into words." She wasn't going to go anywhere herself, she had noticed tensions had been rising on the streets of Coruscant and it called for her aid, so if Stephanie wanted to know how she let the Light guide her simply being was the only way she thought that to be possible.

The brunette spoke of the Silver Jedi Order. There was a slight tinge of disappointment in the air that tied in with this all too familiar feeling of being lost, but there was also determination. "Don't let the Dark Side instill fear into you, because that is how I got lost. The way back is one filled with struggle, but if you are vigilant and let the Light guide your steps you will find your way." Nylea was surprised by her own words. It felt like she was speaking out of instinct, but it was the truth. "I am still on the way back, but I have gotten this far. I have to keep going to find my own way but only time will get me there. If I can make it to where I am, you can find your way without doubt. The Light is at your side, I can feel it."

The intensity of her emotions had subsided, but there was one thing that surprised her looking back- There was no Dark Side. At times like these the Darkness would simply grasp her and try to pull her back in, but somehow the presence of the Light had protected her. Although rarely Nylea felt she had no choice but to draw from it when backed into a corner, but that instinct wasn't hers. A remnant of her past, something she had to slowly wear down. She was glad she knew how to not lose herself in it, knowing that if she had no control during those moments lives would be lost, but that was only a small consolation.

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

Stephanie nodded, feeling a surge of hope inside her, like she could take on anything. It felt like it was coming from Nylea – it was a strange sensation, but the tinge of doubt still resided in her mind, and she couldn’t shake it.

"If there is anything you can show me, I will really appreciate it. Thank you, Nylea. Thank you for opening up, and taking the time to talk. Strangers we may be, but united by one thing makes us inseparable – the Light. With that, you always have an ally in me."

With a nod of her head, Stephanie walked past the Jedi and looked out to the planet.

"Remove your doubt. Take away what you think you cannot do. Tell me what it is you WANT to do. What do you WANT to be come, and WHO do you want to become. Build up on that doubt you’re having. I know you can."

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

"Anything to help another," Nylea answered. It was what was at the core of her being and she would not stray from that. "Unrest has been building around the parts where I live. Small protest have turned into larger ones, and people have already started to get hurt. Perhaps it is a bit much to ask, but an extra pair of hands in tending to them would mean a lot." The situation had been building for a while now and the end was far from in sight. It had been the thing that occupied her mind the most lately, her hours of sleep cut down drastically because of it.

When Stephanie spoke again she had to think for a moment. A small silence fell before Nylea had an answer, but to her it was clear. "I want to aid those who are in need. However, that is merely a symptom of the real issue, and that is conflict." There was sadness in her voice as she continued. "Political powers who oppose each other are willing to sacrifice lives to force their ideologies onto each other. It only leads to suffering. If I had the means I would do anything to prevent those conflicts. The very least I want to do though is make sure the amount of casualties is as low as possible. On my own however, I cannot do much."

[member="Stephanie Swail"]

 

[Stephanie Swail]

Stephanie nodded in understanding. While politics wasn’t her strong suit, she knew how much politicians and governments controlled so much, without even seeing the effects of what they did. It fell to the people on the ground, like Nylea and Stephanie and billions more, who had to make the snap decisions and judgements.

"I know how frustrating it is. To want to change something, but you can’t, but you are filled with so much…drive to do it!" She used her hands to dictate. "But you’ve got the attitude of someone who will not stop doing what is right, and that resonates. Maybe not in offices, but it resonates on the ground with others who follow your lead."

She smiled and nodded.

"If your heart is set wanting to help, then who has a right to question you and stop you. Nobody, that’s who. You just need to find that place, and follow the Force to guide you. Then, you will be complete. You can be anything you want to be and make a difference. Ripples start off as a mere droplet, but it soon expands and influences everything it touches. That can be you, Nylea."

With a sigh, she nodded her head out to the vast planet and looked out.

"Time to start making your waves I think, don’t you?"

[member="Nylea Apollodor"]