[member="Jyfo"] -
Swords
Paint in broad strokes. You don't have to get technical. Example:
I prefer: - "Karen dashed at her opponent and lunged for his center of mass. Her movements where quick, sharp, and deadly accurate. The move was darkly threatening but only the first motion in a complete set. She was already looking to break his guard and create new openings."
I avoid: - "Karen covered the 3 meters between them in 0.5 seconds. Leaning in, she thrust her blade's 40 inch length into her opponent's stance. She set her feet in a wide stance, 3/4 meters apart, and lunged at her opponent's neck with a single-handed thrust. The small tip of the weapon could pierce his armor with only a slight brush of pressure. Leaning forward, her dash and momentum carried into the push. Her sword was threatening to a static or guarding target. With enough power to break a middling guard and press her offensive into the space behind him easily. However, her mindset was only to threaten his posture as an opening move. Break the ice and require a committed defense. Remaining poised to counter and thrust again."
In the first attempt only do 3 things. First, I declare my target. (Center of mass.) Second, how I target. (Lunge, quick, sharp, accurate.) Third, I declare her mindset. (guard break, create an opening, continue advancing.) And that's it. The rest I keep very vague. I don't announce the space, the footwork, the posture, or her weight. I leave that open to interpretation on purpose.
Note the second attempt now. I dislike this type because it involves a few things. First, it uses raw numbers and science. I avoid that because it's too easy to react, exploit, or 1-Up. It's also almost always inaccurate to how real people sword fight. So I avoid using raw numbers and science immediately. Second, I describe her posture in a static exactness. Again, I avoid this because it gives your opponent a stillness and a picture of a unmoving target. Very easy to exploit in reply and also very misleading that your character is just posing there like a mannequin. Ready to be outmaneuvered. So I like to avoid describing any body part in motion. Third, the post is also very long. I avoid long posts because the more content there is? The easier it is for your opponent to miss something and the longer it takes your opponent to understand what you are saying. So I avoid long posts and just go with the gist of it.
Again, you don't have to get technical.
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Da Force
I'll also comment about Force Powers for a moment.
Personally, don't use Ability Names. Describe the effects as if you were summoning a mysterious magical influence.
- Do: - "Karen extended her arm and squinted with her eyes. Immediately the air around her stirred into breaking. Unleashing a wave of kinetic pressure that surged forth into the trooper's expanse. Throwing back rocks, and boxes, and causing the ground to shake like thunder."
- Don't: -"Karen used Force Push. The troopers would surly be sent flying backwards or lose their footing."
In the first attempt I do three things. First, I describe what my character looks like casting. Second, I describe the magics as they are summoned. Third, I give an example as to what the attack is doing to the area. Such as throwing about heavy objects, lighting trees on fire, or causing the lights to flicker and dim. This can also help your partner leverage how much damage to take, or to avoid.
In the second attempt, I just press a button. Force Push. It's boring, video game'y, and woefully generic. Then I flounder again. Assuming that my opponent will take full damage as I go on to show how he'll probably reply. By having his troopers sent flying back or falling down. Bleh. I avoid this because it gives a preconception of what my opponent is going to do. Which, he almost always won't. Assuming damage is bad for the reader, the judge, and for your partner's reply. Rather, show how the attack affects the environment. Not how it would be assumed to damage his character.
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In closing.
1. Paint in broad strokes. You don't have to get technical or science savvy. And
2. Don't use Ability Names. Write the Force as if it will always be a wild and spontaneous experience for you and your opponent.
Cheers!
