Private Early Impressions

[Caedyn Arenais]

The Jedi Enclave of Svivren
Kirie

​

Ever since the Jedi Enclave of Svivren had gone public in it's renewed operating status under the greater umbrella of the Galaxy wide coalition of Jedi Organizations and the Jedi Academy Network, Caedyn's days had been fast paced and far more varied than he had been accustomed to. Moving from a completely silent and lonely facility, into one bustling not just with Jedi activity but the recent attack of Imperial Agents and rogues looking to deter the Jedi in the Outer Rim, Caedyn just hadn't had the time to follow up on the promise he had made to Kirie Ito on the first day he had introduced himself.

Since the attack, a section of the training wing had been blocked off, as well as repairs being made to the Hangar in which Caedyn had faced down the leader of the opposition, and their forces had spared the Enclave no consideration in their explosive entrance. The young knight's concern for his people had only increased due to the inevitable shock of the attack, the Enclave having given no provocation to anyone as of yet that would justify such a thing. Something he couldn't say for himself, much to his dismay as he had also had an attempt made on his life by an agent of the First Order back on Foldos...-In any case, he had found some time to finally pry himself away from the facilities needs, to tend more upon personal priorities, one of which was Kirie and his wish to see her find comfort in the Enclave; especially after such a stressful and horrific time.

"Good morning Kirie" Caedyn's voice would sound from the woman's comlink as he called her from the meditation suite of the training wing for senior students; "If you have the time, I would like it if you could meet me in the meditation rooms for seniors. I would like to continue our last little chat, if you recall...".

 

[Kirie]

Svivren Jedi Enclave, Svivren
Private Quarters.

When the call came, Kirie was lying on her bed, her back straight against the wall, with strands of black framing her face as she stared ahead. The polished marble, seemingly bland on the surface, held hidden complexities. Intricate patterns of flaws covered the surface, their convolutions the result of processes on the scale of individual atoms and molecules, creating a structure that likely existed nowhere else in the universe. Such things existed wherever one took the time to look, otherwise lost in the chaos, the confusion of the everyday world. A wall is a wall, but it is more than that.

The band around her wrist buzzed, and she stared down at it blearily for a few moments. Sitting still, letting the little light go flash, flash, flash, before delicately tapping the device with her index, instantly bringing up a shimmering hologram, Corellian lettering flashing by at speed.

Impassive, Kirie swung her legs out over the bed and sat there. The marble floor was cold, and she lingered for a time, letting the cold soak into her bones, before pulling on her boots. Finally she rose, moving into the arcs of dappled sunlight streaming in through the window, the trees casting shadows of their foliage within.

Her mind, wandering now, arrived back at the attack. The image of the emergency tunnels, the line of younglings hurrying calmly in the dim, flashed by. She ignored it, and stepped outside, her miniature protocol droid, SD-1 jumping up and trotting after her.

First she turned to go her usual route to the meditation rooms, but she stopped and frowned only a few paces down the corridor as she remembered it was blocked; No longer was it choked by debris, but the damage had made it unsafe to pass through.

Instead, she went the other way, past the residential hub, for students, padawans, and the like. Kirie supposed that soon enough she would be asked to transfer there. More people were arriving every day, and rooms like the one she considered her own would be needed to house the Knights and Masters of the Order. A sense of sadness filled her: she'd come to like her little space, and the thought of leaving it for a shared dormitory did not thrill her.

Despite her forced detour, she made it to the meditation rooms in good time, tapping the console by the door and stepping inside, unable to hide the sombre look from her features. Kirie nodded politely to Caedyn Arenais.

"Enclave Steward, you called for me?"

Caedyn Arenais ​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn looked up as the doors to the meditation chambers opened and Kirie entered, the young man standing to his feet to greet her in welcome and invite her to sit with him, gesturing to the nearby meditation seat with a wave of his left hand, a single round seat in a circle of nine others within the room. Here, it was one of many places where the Jedi of the Enclave could come and sit in self reflection and meditation hoping to commune with the force or to seek answers in reflection and their experiences.

"Caedyn's fine..." He replied, feeling a little odd about being called by his title. While he did respect the etiquette of the Order in which would usually encourage students to call mentors by their title as a form of respect, Caedyn was still getting acquainted with his position of responsibility over others, and Kirie herself was also older and possibly even more experienced than he was in many aspects of life in the Galaxy.

"I wanted to follow up with you on the talk we had about your struggle to adapt to the Enclave here, and how the Force seemed to amplify the amount of life here as opposed to what you're used to" Caedyn explained, soon moving to take his seat and cross his legs atop of it, arms resting against his knees as he looked to her.

"I know it probably seems a little unusual, being offered help by someone younger like me..." he clearly wasn't afraid to point out the obvious wamprat in the room, so to speak; the fact was a bit of a concern to him for how it might make others feel when receiving what he hoped would be his guidance where possible. "I have trained with the Je'daii however, as well as the Silver Jedi on Kashyyyk for a time. I think I can help you somehow, if you'd allow me to try".

Meditation was the gateway to becoming a Jedi Knight; Every student that entered the Jedi Order was taught from an early age to begin the practice and to do so regularly, yet some people needed a little extra push from their mentors or peers and this was where shared sessions could help a great deal. This was where Caedyn wished to begin so that he could focus solely upon what was happening with Kirie when she tried to reflect in herself or look to the Force for guidance. It could be a consequence of a number of things she were struggling with, and he hoped to give her the chance to further explore the concern with an outside perspective.

"I guess I'd like to know a little more about what you think is going on though. When things seem to get too much and you're unable to find comfort...-Are there any sort of triggers or indicators of what might set this off?".

 

[Kirie]

The room was austere, as was tradition. A set of nine seats were arrayed in a circle, one already occupied by the Steward. Stepping across the stone floor, she took her place two seats down from him, turning to face the Jedi Knight before sitting with her legs crossed, her hands placed in her lap. Her droid sat down between the pair, itself taking a seat, its little spidery legs curving gracefully beneath it.

She nodded. He wanted her to call him by his name, and she'd oblige. No doubt the young man was uncomfortable with the formality of their interaction. That was not uncommon for someone taking on a responsibility such as his. She herself was quite the opposite. She had no qualms about formailty; it was her shield from others, her crutch.

Morning light spilled in from the windows above, giving the room a warm and golden glow. It was quite nice here, really.

"You needn't worry... Caedyn. I have no doubts about your abilities. I'm certain there is much you can teach me."

Dark rings under her eyes spoke of a person who'd missed nights of sleep, and while it was clear that Kirie had made efforts with her appearance, she saw when she looked in the mirror that morning she lacked a certain wholeness, as if she'd merely donned a mask. When she spoke, her face was stony, as if drained of emotion.

"I can deal with the day to day. I'll admit that my adjustment to living like this hasn't been as easy as I'd hoped, and I'm still struggling to feel at home here. But, I'm sure that will come with time."

She breathed in, letting the rays soak into her skin, looking past Caedyn at a blank spot on the wall behind, before continuing.

"The problem, if you could call it that, occurs when I actually try to immerse myself in the Force. I feel overwhelmed, as if I'm drowning. I can still channel it okay, but when I meditate or try to reach out into it, it overcomes me without fail. I never learned how to block things out, how to focus myself to only see the right things. When I open myself to the Force it feels like I'm hit with everything at once. Out on my ship, in space, that was fine. Here, it's too much."

Caedyn Arenais ​

​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"I reckon there's a lot we could both learn from each other" Caedyn replied with a gentle smile in response to Kirie 's droid translating her use of GBSL. It was still something that he was getting used to, keeping eye contact with Kirie and not looking away every five seconds where the droid's vocals would contribute to the discussion. In a way it seemed a little funny, but at the same time this was something he was wanting to be sensitive about for Kirie's sake. It was simply a first for Caedyn, and after some time he was sure these feelings would subside.

"Thank you though, I do appreciate that. It's easy to feel as though you're being sized up by your peers when you're in a position like mine at such a young age. I doubt I'd be in this place had I gone through standard Jedi training over my years..." he admitted, though he truly didn't know what the Jedi standard of training was for those younger than twelve. That was when he had first joined the Je'daii after all, some thirteen years ago now.

"Like I said when we first met, I'd like to help you get used to Svivren if it's possible...-But from what you told me, it doesn't sound like this is going to be a quick fix. I could be wrong, but I don't think this is solely revolved around the Force so much as it is around your anxieties..." Caedyn carried a sense of reluctance in his words, his voice gentle as he did not wish to insult Kirie or make her feel as though she might be being judged in any sense.

"Please do correct me if I'm wrong. Chances are we won't truly know until we figure out what's going to work best to help these feelings die down a bit more to a comfortable level but I've found the Force is often greatly influenced by our emotions..." Every Jedi knew of the Code, though that wasn't the subject of intent that Caedyn was leading on to in his expressing a guess over what Kirie's difficulties were sourced from. Unlike his father, he hadn't put a lot of time into the Jedi Code himself, but rather spent time communing with the Force, and not just one 'side' or 'aspect' of it, but the one whole Force.

"This Enclave is surrounded by a strong Force Nexus, which is why it's flow of energies are much more blatant than most other places...-Most cases this is a benefit for our practices, especially in training, but I can also see it may take some getting used to for newcomers and to be honest, this is probably something I should be wary about for future arrivals as well...". Kirie was the first person he'd come across to portray these struggles, though Caedyn imagined she wouldn't be the last.

Caedyn's next question was probably going to be a little provocative, maybe even intimidating but he was curious to know if there were underlying concerns that were encouraging this sense of unease on Svivren. Maybe it really was just a matter of difficulty in the transition from one lifestyle into the present, but he wanted to be certain they could cross every possibility off of the list during their time spent trying to solve this matter for her. "Forgive me if this seems...Rude or too forward of me to ask, but I'm curious...Are there any feelings of fear or negative thoughts that come to mind during the times where your discomfort is becoming too much?".

 

[Kirie]

Her eyes met his once more. It hadn't occurred to Kirie that the crux of her problem was not spiritual but emotional, psychological. Well, she hadn't dismissed the idea, but strangely, she hadn't actually afforded it some thought. Perhaps her fixation with the Force, with her own lack of training, had clouded the true source of the issue. If nothing else, it was certainly food for thought.

She blew out a sigh, and pursed her lips, her hands forming the briefest steeple, before laying back in her lap.

Kirie had read about the Nexus in some of the Enclave's annals. Since she was someone who had become accustomed to tranquility in the depths of space, it was a possibility that the Nexus' energies were affecting her. If that was the case, she didn't know how she'd manage. Would she learn to deal with it? What if she never adapted? She thought of picking up and leaving again so soon and her gut twisted.

Shifting slightly in her seat, Kirie thought of her reply. She didn't want to lay out the intricacies of her past to Caedyn- she didn't wish that on anyone- but it paid to be honest, and withholding important information would do her more harm than good in the end. As easy as it would be for her to fall silent, to invent a convenient lie and escape back to the comforting confines of her quarters, Kirie knew she couldn't. She had to face this head-on.

"I think that... That maybe you're right, but I can't be sure. I don't know what is causing this, I can't even really tell you what the problem is exactly. But I think that if we work through it together, maybe, with time, we can help to make it better."

Strangely, for the first time, she believed herself.

"As for negative feelings and thoughts, well, there are a lot of things I've seen and felt that I cannot easily forget. Ever since... Hmm"

Pausing, Kirie bit her lip, suddenly too warm in the sun, too close to this Jedi, too confined in this bare little room.

She breathed in, out, and went on.

"I'm not a hermit by nature. Something happened on Kwenn, when I was working for your mother during the Contingency Crisis. Afterwards, I was troubled by memories, shadowy impressions of people and places that followed me around. I couldn't make it stop, and I felt like I was losing myself, so I ran. I left the Galaxy behind and I lived alone for many years, away from everyone and everything. These days, they hardly bother me, but I've never really been the same since."

Blinking, she wiped her eyes, her throat tight. This was not a topic she spoke of with anyone. She wondered if he understood; perhaps he thought less of her now. It had been out of weakness that she'd left Commenor, Kirie understood that. It had taken years for her to find the courage to return.

"I found relief in the expanse of the stars. Out there, the Force can be felt only at a fundamental level, barely perceptible, when I immersed myself into it, it felt as if I was sensing the blood rushing through the arteries of a great creature. Here, the Force is a strange and cacophonous thing. When I stop and expand my senses, and I let down my walls, I'm overcome with the sheer amount of information. I don't feel any negative emotions, really, except that I am overwhelmed."

Caedyn Arenais ​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn Arenais blinked a couple time, his head tilting at the mention of his Mother and their former Home-world of Commenor. How had he not recognized her, Kirie 's having previously been employed under the Monarchy of the former Commenor Systems Alliance, his very own parents. His mouth opened in a bid to respond though in the moment it seemed as though everything else had been lost on him. Once more struck by the shadow of his parents and their reputations that the young Jedi was trying so much to avoid for the sake of carving out his own path in the Jedi Order of today's Galaxy.

"Hang on a second; you worked for House Arenais and the Systems Alliance?" he replied rhetorically, speaking upon his admitted ignorance of the fact and surprised by his clearly lacking memory. It was highly likely that Caedyn had been too young at the time, not to mention that their parents did everything they could to keep he and Loreena Arenais-Valhoun away from the political sides of life on Commenor; he himself having left at the young age of twelve to travel and learn of the Je'daii alongside Lief .

Despite this, it still boggled the mind to be met with such a surprising coincidence. Years later having met Kirie again within the Enclave of Svivren with the mind of doing what he could to help her in some form to get passed her struggles; "The Force really does work in mysterious ways..." he muttered under his breath, still trying to come to terms with the fact. His youth was really starting to show now, in light of this latest piece of knowledge, especially.

Trying to retain some sense of professionalism, Caedyn took a moment to clear his throat (and his mind) before returning his attention to the matter at hand; "So there was an incident on Kwenn...-Something traumatic?" He asked curiously, intrigued by the aforementioned world and wondering whether or not this could have been the trigger for what sounded very much like some form of post-traumatic stress, leading to her isolation which could well have only further impacted the impairing effects that she found herself in today.

"If it's okay with you, perhaps we could talk about this time a little more before we start exploring a solution to your hyper-sensitivity to the force, and the presence of others around us. There are ways to dial down our sensitivity and ability to feel, and to wield the Force but this may also impact your current level of practice in terms of skill and power...-I'd rather not look too much into this area if it can be avoided, as it could also mean having to retrain yourself in what you've learned thus far...".

It was easy to assume that, given her age and experience being above his own, Kirie would no doubt have a number of abilities and practices under thumb by now, that Caedyn would rather not see her removed of.

"A safe option may be to meditate together while I focus on closing off our surrounding environment, and over a number of progressive sessions, gradually open you up to more and more of the Force, slowly encouraging you to adapt and grow comfortable with life in such proximity again. That said, if we can resolve these issues by exploring your past and what triggered these feelings in the first place, perhaps we can find a more immediate solution".