Private Everytime We -

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Alina Tremiru //:
//: Varanin Estate //:
//: Attire //:

So much fuss. Quinn hadn't expected the heightened security around her estate besides her entire staff being vetted. Everyone was a potential enemy, and she couldn't stand it. The ordeal had left her knocking on death's door, but she still didn't think it warranted all of this. More women were sent from Eshan to watch her; as much as Quinn knew she needed the aid, she would have rather had her mother by her side. A wish that wouldn't be granted in this lifetime, but at least she had her godmother.

Quinn pushed herself out of bed; today's round of medications and annoyances were finished, and she waved the doctors off as they left. Watching from her bedroom, she saw the doctors go through their security routine - she felt guilty knowing she was putting more work on the people around her. If only things had gone differently for Susevfi, then no one would be suffering, and she wouldn't be getting all this attention. The Princess fell back onto the soft bed and looked at the ceiling. People had died trying to rescue her; she was so weak she couldn't even rescue herself.

Her arm lay across her vision as she groaned again. Her time since Susevfi was filled with guilt. Maybe if she had died, things would have been easier for everyone - they could have done what Sith did best and destroyed the planet. The men and women who died under the Empire's banner wouldn't have suffered.

Quinn sat up, tossing aside the loose bandage on her arm and grabbing a fresh one. Even though she was being cared for, her prolonged severance from the Force had lasting effects for the time being. Her body's ability to heal was slowed, and she could still feel the bruised and fractured bones ache with each breath and step. At last, her face had returned to normal, having only sported a faint black eye.

Suddenly, as she was prepared to continue the day alone as she had done for the last few, the door rang and opened. The guard's voice called out to the Princess. Her eyes widened slightly, not expecting the woman. Quinn remained quiet as she felt the ring that hung gently next to the locket. The guard called again, and the Echani shook herself from her daze.

"Let her in, no one else, though - I'd like to be alone with her."

 

[Alina Tremiru]

She needed permission.

Alina paused at the door, her gaze focused on the guard. The guard she needed permission to enter the residence from. At one point this place was her home, but now she was little more than a stranger. Or perhaps it was because this new guard didn't know who she was. She couldn't be mad, though. She'd left. She shouldn't be angry, at least. Didn't stop some of her annoyance though.

Permission was given at least. The pale skinned woman made her way into Quinn's room, pausing as she saw just how hurt Quinn looked. A black eye, concealed wounds. Quinn hadn't been the one to be injured between the two of them. She'd found Alina burnt and ruined. Dead, even. But this was the first time she'd seen Quinn be the one so hurt.

She took a breath, needless as it was, to still her thoughts.

"You look better than the reports said."

Quinn Varanin

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Alina Tremiru //:
//: Varanin Estate //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn focused on her struggle with the bandage over her arm. She could feel Alina draw closer, making her focus harder on the bandage that seemed to want to twist on its own, which only made it useless when she was trying to wrap her arm. Hearing Alina's voice, Quinn dropped the bandage, and the small roll unraveled along the pristine marble flooring. "Oh," Quinn watched it and paused, smiling sheepishly to Alina, embarrassed by more than one thing. "I'm sorry about that." She knew the woman had been used to coming into the estate easily. "With everything that happened, the whole staff has changed, no one can do anything right, and people who always had clearance must go through the annoying third degree."

A hand ran through her hair, brushing it away from her face. She had forgotten about the bruises and cuts, then brushed her hair forward slightly to hide it. Remembering Alina had complimented her, she realized she was flustered and cleared her throat, focusing on herself. There was a gentle smile as she remembered how flustered she always got around the other woman - even when they were younger. Alina knew how to get under her skin and pull the Princess's tantrums out of her. Quinn knew why, but she found it comforting seeing the face that she remembered fondly and held in her heart looking back at her.

"Thank you," nodding her head, Quinn grabbed a beige cardigan and slipped it over her shoulders. It took her a moment, and her movements were not as fluid as they typically were, especially as an Echani. "It doesn't feel like it, I haven't been able to sleep well. Every time I close my eyes, I'm right back there." Quinn had never been through something like this. Usually, she was the one waiting, holding her breath while hoping that nothing harmed Alina or Vesta.

Quinn looked away as she tried to busy herself with something. Missing the feeling of being in Alina's arms was growing unbearable. The Princess had to keep it to herself. "Does it ever go away?" Quinn asked as she looked at her feet. If anyone knew about nightmares, she felt Alina would know.

 

[Alina Tremiru]

"I left. You don't have anything to apologize for."

Alina waved a hand dismissively. Leave it to Quinn to apologize right away for something that actually made sense after everything that happened. A soft sort of smile even took over. It was part of why she cared so deeply for the other blonde. Even now. Not even that, though. She'd gone away because of that care. Because of the fact that even now, Quinn looked older. It hadn't been that long at all, but Alina looked the same as she always did. No matter what she did, Alina would always, eventually, revert back to how she looked when she was turned.

She would never grow old with Quinn.

"No, but you get used to living with them. Eventually they just start being dreams, rather than nightmares that keep you up at night." She shrugged her shoulders before she took a seat on Quinn's bed, leaning back on her hands. "Where are your new paramours? I figured they'd be here." That wasn't the question Alina wanted to ask. She knew it the moment her mouth started to move, but she'd already started. She didn't want to think about them. She stared off, her frown clear as day as she tried not to let it affect her any further.

Quinn Varanin

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Alina Tremiru //:
//: Varanin Estate //:
//: Attire //:

Being apart like this felt unnatural. Quinn didn't know what to do with any part of her being, but she tried. This had to become the norm; this was their reality. For the briefest of moments, Quinn finally understood what Vesta meant about Exogol. It was a pain she tried to bury, knowing this was part of growing up and realizing the realities of life. Was it a foolish dream to think that love was enough for two people?

Quinn watched as Alina took a place on the bed, a familiar setting that brought comfort to the Echani woman. She hesitated for just a moment and shifted, making herself a bit more comfortable, though each movement triggered a flare-up of pain. There was no hiding it, despite Quinn wanting to. Another smile, and she listened to the question Alina asked. Her brow furrowed, not expecting something like that, but because of their past, she figured it was honest curiosity.

The Princess knew she would ask the same question. Her soft laugh turned into a sigh as she shook her head. "They want to be here, but I've learned to find solace in being alone. It lets me think and analyze everything." In retrospect, Quinn feared letting her heart dream again. It was easier to have the connections she had. If they broke, then it was okay because her heart would be protected.

Fingers played with the silken fabric of the sheets; the bed felt too big now, more often than she liked. It was perfect before, but now she could feel its chill clinging to her chest. "Um, what about you?" A question Quinn desired no answer to, her emotions written all over her face. It was a stupid question that would only shatter her fragile heart into a thousand more pieces.

Scooting a little closer, Quinn winced slightly with the movement but was happier being closer. So many times before, Quinn had kept herself hidden, watching from a distance. Her fingers twisted further into the sheet, "I've missed you, but you seem well."

 

[Alina Tremiru]

"Taking time for yourself is pretty important."

And not something she thought she'd hear from Quinn. Alina's faintly soured expression shifted to a more melancholy smile. What was it that made her grow like this? Alina leaving? Being kidnapped? Vesta's suicide? All of it and more that Alina wasn't even aware of? They hadn't been apart for that long and she'd already grown so much. All it did was confirm or Alina that she was what kept others from growth.

"Working, mostly. The people that caught you were supplied by someone else, and those types of people need to be handled." Was the official, detached answer. She knew what Quinn had meant, but answering that felt more.. Defeating for Alina.

"I don't have anyone else. Met some interesting characters, sure, but I'm pretty much always a lone these days."

Quinn Varanin