Expanding Viewpoints

[Audren Sykes]

Audren was tired of being a third-rate Jedi. Sure, he had access to the Force: the medical tests had proven he had the potential, and his first training session with Sarianna had proven he had the ability. Yes, he could fight: he'd picked up the blasters quickly from Coren, the lightsaber expeditiously, and had been able to integrate his existing fighting knowledge with both almost seamlessly. Unlike other Jedi though, at least those he knew, he couldn't access the outside Force, the greater Force. That was the Force that allowed a Jedi to keep up with a Valkyri warband racing through the forest whilst intercepting and dismembering the undead creatures that plagued them. That was the Force that allowed a Jedi to dissipate a blaster bolt into thin air. That was not the Force that gave out after two two-meter jumps.

So he'd taken a sabbatical. Lianna was a planet that fell within the Sanctum's domain and seemed fairly peaceful to boot. He'd traveled on one of the transports that was already flying there and taken his own rations for the day and a half flight. Even then, the freighter captain had taken the steps of calculating the Sephi's mass versus fuel expenditure, comparing the cost of the extra fuel he'd be burning to carry the Padawan versus the profit he was expecting to make. When the cost had ended up being credits in the single-digits, and the benefit had been positive reputation with the Sanctum, the captain had agreed. He'd been dropped at the Melford spaceport and found his own way from there.

While sentimentality - frustration with his slow progress and jealousy of the others - was a driving force behind the trip, there was also some logic to it. If he couldn't touch the greater Force, he couldn't really continue learning. Nor would he be able to keep up with more experienced Jedi in combat situations or ever be capable of facing a Force-using opponent with any hope of surviving, let alone winning. If he wanted to move forward and improve as a Jedi, he had no choice but to figure out how to access the greater Force.

 

[Audren Sykes]

Lianna was a pleasant planet, and Melford was no exception to that. There were more people in uniform than he'd expected, but he'd swiftly learned that was the fault of Melford Star Academy rather than unusually high military deployment. Audren rented a small room - it was all he could afford - and began searching for a place to practice. One of the parks off the beaten path would work, it didn't get used often. He kept that as a last resort however, since he hadn't declared himself a Jedi and would be practicing with the Force. Hopefully.

After a couple days of searching, right as he was about to give up, he found an ideal location. Someone had abandoned an old training gym, leaving a wide open space and a couple patches of padded flooring. There were a couple duracrete columns near a wall that had a metal bar embedded between them, maybe a brace for punching bags. Whatever the case, the only footprints present besides his own had their own layer of dust. This place had long been abandoned. A broom and couple of glow-lamps later, the Padawan was in business.

The matter at hand: gain access to the Force. From what he understood, he already had access to the Force energy his body generated innately. If that was pulled on too far, as it had been on his first day with the Silver Jedi, well, suffice to say bad things happened. Accessing the Force at large was somewhat of a question however. Some people were born with the innate ability, they didn't learn it and couldn't teach it. Others reportedly had stumbled across it in times of turmoil, and some had learned how to access it by willfully changing how they thought. Some used meditation, others used action. There were a wide variety of methods to connect to the Force, which meant there were a wide variety to try.

Just as there were so many ways to access the Force, apparently there were multiple descriptions of how it felt to do so. By far the most common was the water analogy, something along the lines of a rushing river guided by the Sensitive's intellect. A few writings had referred to it as sharp threads or tendrils of the Force, connecting and resonating with each individual thing and stretching into the past and future. For others it was a raging storm, or even a fog. Again, a wide variety of connections to try and many descriptions of how it might feel.

Audren had his work cut out for him.

 

[Audren Sykes]

The first thing he did was buy a broom and clean the place. After all, he needed to be able to breath if he wanted to train. The time spent sweeping wasn't wasted however, as he let his mind wander over the problem. If what he drew on internally was indeed the Force power that his body generated, that meant it would be in some ways a mirror to the Force at large. As compressed as it was however, it would be difficult to get a read on. So the first step was expanding that tightly-held power. Or making it seem larger. Somehow.

With the floor swept clean of dust and other detritus, Audren sat. He'd noted in the past that visualizing what he was trying to do - even if and especially if it was completely invisible - helped him. For example, when he pictured the ball of energy inside, it was a bright white glow of pure energy. Colors swirled inside, barely visible but there. Drawing on that power was like hooking up a vacuum tube to that energy and forcibly removing it to distribute to various areas. Pulling too much or too little power was a very real possibility; too much bled away to who knows where, too little caused things to not go how he wanted.

So, step one. Expand the power or make it seem bigger. The Sephi drew on his imagination and pictured the energy as being surrounded by a nearly-transparent film. While it was thin, it was strong enough to hold the power inside. However, if enough force - pun not intended - was applied to it, the film would stretch. So doing would cause it to lose strength in certain portions, but it could expand. Very carefully, he did so. The ball of energy expanded in like form. It reached the point he considered to be 'maximum safe' diameter before it was even remotely large enough to reflect what happened in the greater Force. Frustrated, Audren tried to stretch it further. Doing so caused what was effectively a 'tear' in the containing film. He was physically shifting slightly at the time, attempting to get more comfortable. Without warning, the flooring seemed to crack open like someone had tried to pull the pieces of duracrete apart.

The Padawan gave a start at the resounding crack, and his eyes opened enough to see it before he suddenly lost consciousness.

 

[Audren Sykes]

By the time Audren woke, it was getting dark out. It had been just about noon local time when he'd started, but how much of the time had been the meditation and how much had been spent lying insensate on the floor he didn't know. Nor did it matter. However long he'd been asleep, it hadn't been enough. He wasn't tired enough to fall asleep then and there, but with a meal in his stomach and a soft-ish bed, he'd sleep the night through.

A few minutes later, after ravenously downing the first course of his chosen meal at a local diner, the Padawan started giving thought to what had happened. Obviously, the imagined container that he'd conjured had enough of stretching and had burst. That said, it was surprising to see that his imagination had taken such an effect. Also surprising was the effect of the "bursting". Like the water-filled balloons that children played with on hot days, his container had split along a particular line, and almost all of the Force energy he'd had available had escaped. It hadn't simply dissipated though, had had forcibly ejected like atmosphere through a hull crack in space.

The physical effects concerned him. He'd never before affected something telekinetically, so it was difficult to believe that he'd done so unintentionally. And the crack in the floor hadn't been a single straight scoring on the floor. While it headed in the same general direction, the crack had wavered back and forth. Could that be wavering attention, or what was the cause there? If he did try to telekinetically affect something, would the force move in such a pattern?

As he wondered, he ate in a mechanical fashion. Once the food was finished, he headed back to his rented room to sleep. He'd begin again the next day.

 

[Audren Sykes]

Sunrise saw him at the gym again. Or rather, what would have been sunrise had the cloud cover not obscured it completely. The dampness in the air inspired the Sephi to try another route. Rather than try and expand the little amount of Force power he had, he could try to use it, make it react in ways particular to how he interpreted the Force itself. If he managed to hit on a particular method, he could focus on that view explicitly and ignore the rest; if he didn't, he'd just wasted some time and nothing more.

Audren once again drew inspiration from the weather outside. It wasn't only cloudy, it was intensely foggy out there. It was very difficult to picture the ball of energy as one of swirling fog, and once he did it kept returning to a brilliant spark. It simply wouldn't stay dim even when he shifted to the picture of a storm, gray clouds lit from within by shooting branches of lightning. Each time, the lightning struck something at the core and the thing sparked back to life as the glowing ball of energy. Frowning, the Padawan shifted to water; there was no way water could turn into that glowing energy.

The river was too small of an idea and quickly morphed into the thought of an ocean, one all crammed into the tiny transparent sphere that contained it. That seemed to fit the situation better, as well as the water balloon analogy from the day before. Currents could be seen inside, swirls and eddies reflecting bits and pieces of the situation in his body. Here a flow bending around a scar, there some rapids over what had been a shattered bone. Here and there miniature lights began to appear though, accompanied by the silhouettes of fish. A couple currents also began to glow softly, a bioluminescence. It always came back to the light, somehow. That thought - and a not-so-helpful mental blink - later, and the miniature sphere of bright energy was back. No more water, no more bioluminescent glow, just the harsh and unyielding radiance.

 

[Audren Sykes]

Light. Since the mental image insisted on returning to an impression of light, he'd try that. He put together the image of a sun, similar in hue and size to what he saw in his mind's eye, and instantly felt the heat radiating off of it. By adding mental 'filters', he could see the patches and areas not actively producing light. In fact...no, it wasn't possible to see through a star. He'd see the core first, and that star would be massively unstable if it was even still in existence. The 'filters' faded, leaving only a bright ball of energy again.

In the sky above, thunder rumbled, and it was reflected slightly by differences in the light intensity of the sphere. Maybe a storm then. Instantly, the contents of the sphere changed. Clouds filled it to the brim, tightly packed but moving all the more for it. Currents could be seen if he cared to analyze it closely, but those currents were spots of dark in an otherwise brightly-lit cloud bank. The light was internal, some unseen source, and it again flashed slightly with the roll of thunder in the real world. The next hit of thunder, however, had it flashing back to a featureless sphere of bright energy.

Almost reluctantly, he shifted to the idea of threads. Threads would explain him seeing "through" the sphere of light, and they would fit with what others had described. Rather than solid threads, thin black wires that connected everything, he pictured threads of light. Inside the transparent sphere, they were tightly coiled and contained, though ready to lash out at the slightest provocation. Maybe even snarled and knotted in places. This mental image stayed intact, not fading or melding. This was how he subconsciously interpreted the Force.

He didn't have a clue what to do with this information, but it was a start.

 

[Audren Sykes]

Knowing how he interpreted the Force didn't make him suddenly able to manipulate or even sense the Force at large. That would have been nice, to be sure, but it simply wasn't the case. Which meant that he still had work to do.

In his mind's eye, Audren began shifting the shape of the sphere. Two arms, two legs. The 'torso' slimmed down quite a bit and sprouted a head. There was no color here, but if one looked at it from certain angles details could be made out. Nose, eye ridge, pointed ears. Even his hair and some basic clothing. It matched his mental picture of himself, and even though he was the only one who would ever see it he liked it to be accurate. It was him, just made up of cables of Force energy. With a bit of will, he manipulated the mental image until it was in the same posture he was, a basic meditation position. As he lifted his right arm from where it sat in his lap, he made the image match the action. Then dropping it back into his lap. Then the left arm, rolling his head on his shoulders, as much as he could do sitting.

Then he moved to standing. It was difficult at first to visualize the visualization with his eyes open, but he managed. It became easier with time, especially since he started slowly. Various motions at first, then movements and chains from combat forms he'd been taught, so on and so forth. His goal was simple: make it so this particular mental image and his actual body were completely in sync. Everything he did should be represented in the mental image of him, or maybe the other way around. Integration was the point. Confusion was just a side effect.

After several hours of movement, things got to the point where the Sephi couldn't determine any lag between the two forms. A short break for some flavorless food and water - apparently that sort of meal was a fad here - and he was back at his studies. Now he was taking a closer look at the mental image. For all it's apparently smoothness at a bit of a distance, up close there were discrepancies. What he could only describe as 'knots' or 'tangles' in the cables were present. It took him a moment, but he realized that many of those tangles were places where he'd been injured in the past. Odd.

 

[Audren Sykes]

The problem with the current situation was that there was no real change. The Force was present inside, he'd more or less been able to consistently access that before. Now he had a bit more control, a better visualization, but he still didn't have that connection to the Force at large. And since that was the point of the whole trip in the first place...it was a good thing he still had time here.

His eye caught on the crack in the floor, and followed it to the wall. Now that he examined it closely, there was some evidence of impact there as well. That had come from an accidental tear in whatever contained his Force power. That same tear had released all his Force power in a sudden rush, knocking him unconscious. He had to wonder, now that he had a firmer idea on how his mind and body interpreted the Force, if he could direct that. It would be a simple enough test.

The Sephi changed the mental image. In addition to the surrounding 'container', a second barrier formed just behind his hand at the wrist joint. Just like the holodramas, he raised his left hand and pushed the open air, moving the hand at the broom in the corner of the room. As he did so, he pictured the front outer barrier on the hand simply not being there. Without his prompting, the cables making up his hand burst out. Had he dropped the sides, they would have gone in a half-sphere, but since only the front was gone they leaped out towards the broom. It wasn't perfect, dust sprang up around the broom as well, but the broom itself was pushed up against the wall and held for a second. Once the burst was over, it fell to the floor, overbalanced.

The Padawan's hand was tingly and warm, but not asleep. The mental barriers were replaced and dissolved, and the pins-and-needles slowly disappeared.

Now he was hungry.

 

[Audren Sykes]

He was in a mood for flavor. No trendy noodles for him this time. He chose an outdoor cafe, one where he could watch other people walk by as he ate. In the same way he pictured the Force energy in his body molding to him as he moved, he imagined it happening with the passersby. Similarly to how the images had changed for him of their own accord, his subconscious changed things. First off, they became dimmer. Where his cables were pure light, the others were dull cables. Not gray per se, since colors kept injecting themselves into the forms in swirling clouds of color, but dull.

One thing he noticed was that there was nothing 'containing' the cables. For some people they simply stretched out, stretching into the distance for some or intertwining with others' cables. Some of them seemingly faded into nothingness, just a meter or so from the person they originated from. Those were odd. But for every person he saw, not a single one had that containing field. Theoretically, if he had an excellent picture of what "he" was, he could remain even when the field was gone. A different sort of control, with a sort of openness as well.

The last time he'd removed a portion of his control he'd had a controlled burst of power. The time before that, which had been uncontrolled, he'd fallen unconscious as a result. Not a thing to attempt out in public, especially when there were people and breakable things around. Tomorrow then, after he'd rested and prepared.

 

[Audren Sykes]

On second thought, deciding to drop the 'containing field' when he had lots of energy might have been a mistake. Of course he had to realize that the morning after he'd slept and had a halfway decent breakfast, when he was brimming with energy. Foolish of him, but nothing left to do now but suck it up and proceed.

The Padawan decided to progress in sections. He'd start with a finger first, then move to a hand, an arm, and so on. Maybe he was being overly-cautious, but he didn't have the greatest track record to keeping the power that was the Force contained. After sitting near the center of the room in what had become his normal meditation spot, the Sephi held up his hand with index finger extended - oriented like it was pointing out to one side - and closed his eyes. He narrowed his concentration to the mental image of his finger and it only, then allowed the 'field' containing it to dissipate. Instantly, the energy started expanding, but as he focused further on keeping it true to his mental image it slowly fell back into shape. It fought though, wanting to be released rather than contained. It was like a gas: it expanded to fill the surroundings unless contained. Once he took away the mental container keeping it in, it wanted to expand unless he forced it not to.

If he was going to be constantly fighting to keep the Force power from expanding into nothingness, he had his work majorly cut out for him.

Once he reached a stable setup, he added another finger. This one seemed simpler to stabilize somehow, and he swiftly added a third and fourth, then on to the whole hand. When he tried to move up to the elbow however, he encountered what he could only describe as a 'tangle' in the cables. Oddly, it was right where he had a scar from years ago, when he was too slow ducking a nexu strike. Whatever the case, it made holding the Force there in a stable manner impossible. He abandoned the effort with that hand and moved to the left. Another amount of time later and he was successful up to his elbow, but a scar just below his shoulder caused trouble. He'd have to come back to the effort after lunch.

 

[Audren Sykes]

Another meal of flavorless noodles, then he was back to work. While eating, he'd remembered an offhanded comment from one of the older Jedi, something about 'not powering through obstacles'. He didn't remember much more than that and the likening to rocks in a flowing river being smoothed over time. Cables weren't rocks to be smoothed, nor were they rushing water to wear away stones. But the analogy had him thinking.

Even if he could, un-knotting the tangles in question would probably re-open the wounds. Deep wounds, serious enough to leave scars despite medical professionals as parents. Loosening them though, re-routing the threads one at a time to form a smooth bump rather than a jagged tangle. Each skein would be a puzzle to solve, tracing the individual threads and how they interacted, then re-routing them without losing the integrity provided.

He'd never been much good at puzzles.

The Padawan began without hesitation, starting with the scar on his arm. Each thread was mapped and a mental picture created of the knot. Now that he examined it, this one was fairly simple; snipping a thread here and removing it from the tangle allowed some others to unwind and smooth out. Reattachment was along the outside. There were still a couple knots near the core, but some were smaller now and others he tightened. They were surrounded by newly-smoothed threads, making a gradual bump rather than an abrupt tangle. As he tightened the few knots though, he had a nagging feeling that this would only exacerbate issues later. What issues, he couldn't tell. Yet the nascent feeling persisted as he moved from tangle to tangle.

 

[Audren Sykes]

It was evening by the time he finished, past time for dinner. Though he was hungry, he opted to re-attempt the cohesiveness of his Force presence. Start with the hand, move up the arm to the shoulder in segments. Successfully completed. While the bumps were still there, they were easier to work with than the massive tangles had been. Both arms, both legs, torso, and head. A successful attempt.

Problem was that a successful attempt wasn't good enough. The amount of concentration necessary to maintain this sort of thing was immense, and yet if his assumption was correct he would need to be like this at all times. During combat especially. It would be problematic to say the least. At the risk of repeating history, he did exactly that. Eyes open, movement. Basic motions at first, then progression into combat chains and full forms. Slowly at first, then faster and faster until he was up to normal speed.

While it was an improvement, it wasn't a perfect solution. The combat forms were so ingrained into him that they didn't take much concentration at all. But it was a start, and now he was hungry. He maintained the manner as he went out and ate. Same cafe as before, another flavor-filled meal. No difference between the other people, but now he could see the cables of Force connecting him with them. That hadn't happened before. He hadn't felt a surge of energy like he'd expected, which had been based off what others had said, but it was possible he was just concentrating too hard. If this was him finally accessing the Force - and that was a big if, then he'd no doubt feel the connection deepen in time.

Satisfied with the admittedly circumstantial evidence, Audren headed off-world the next day. Back to the Sanctum, back to the galaxy at large.