Fatty Feels Weird.

[Fatty]

I don't know if it's because I threw up last night, or I'm stressed because of all the crap I have to hand in this week, or stress because I'm not allowed to RP and I'm doing it in secret anyway, but recently I've felt pretty weird on SWRP.

I feel kinda uncomfortable with some things, yet at the same time my mind is racing with creativity at 1,000 kilometers per second. I have so many interests here and elsewhere and I feel strangely conflicted. I have an awesome plot for Voracitos, I have an idea of how to get Hutuun'Kyramud back, Stone Hermes is going strong, I have an idea of how to advance Iron Giant on her next great adventure, Triam Akovin couldn't be stronger, and I have a hilariously awesome idea to exploit for Boke (a character almost none of you have heard of yet). I have plot lines in my head that involve the Resu, the creatures on Kad V, and how to create an awesome RP series with the Rogue World in the Colluctari Nebula.

I have all these ideas and more, but I still feel strange about it all. It feels like it's turning into a love hate relationship. I love everything you are free to do in Chaos and I exploit it to its fullest, I love everything that I have done in Chaos and have exploited it to its fullest, I love everything that I might do in Chaos and I exploit it to its fullest. I love a lot of people here and their amazing characters and writing, I love the praise that I am given for the creativity of my characters and the stories I create.

Yet somewhere in the pit of my stomach, with an ache in my heart, I see Chaos these days and something nags at me. There is OOC drama galore, and ideas that should be successful and grand seemingly die... and recently, I have been a victim of these such things. I've laid witness to events that should never have happened, and I've been on the waiting end of things and events that I really wished could have happened. I don't know how its possible, but I'm experiencing something that I don't like and its source is some element within Chaos that wasn't there in the beginning, or merely wasn't apparent enough to notice back then. I've been roleplaying for a year or so, and my tenure of Chaos so far has essentially composed that entire little "career".

I don't expect a whole lot to come out of this thread, other than Fatty is feeling odd these days, and he isn't happy about it. This isn't a goodbye or anything, but something is troubling me about this lovely place and I can't quite place my finger on it, so it bugs me, and I feel the need to express myself here.

Does anyone else have anything on their mind in relation to Chaos that they'd like to share with us? Anybody else feeling weird, strange, or odd?

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

I think I can only answer on your perceptions about things relating to the site. To be honest, it’s the nature of RP sites to have ideas come and go. Time dims memories into a rosy, happy haze, but if you remember last year around this time we were just having our first big influx of people from outside and everything was in a whirl. Things came and went, major factions rising and falling month to month.
Later on we had events which came and went, and to be honest I don’t think any of the concerns you mention were better back then than now.
Nostalgia is a potent force, and a good one, but remember things as they were, not how you’d have liked them to be.

 

[Nikolas Faselli]

I have only one thought about this: the events which don't receive much feedback can be brought back later. They should be left for some time and if they are still in your heart, bring them back. Or the events which happened, but weren't successful... maybe they just took place in a really bad time? I remember the Valen (or whatever) event. It took place in a really bad time and thus, it wasn't much of a success. But still, it was a good one.

For me, one thing works. If I want to have some kind of a cool campaign or a story or something and it doesn't get much attention, I think about it for weeks or months... I think whether it was actually a good idea or not. Sometimes even seemingly powerful events may turn into silly thoughts when thought about them after some time. Sadly, I haven't noticed many of your ideas and I can't speak about them.

One reason may be, that people don't notice the cool ideas. Role-Play Discussion board is always full of simple threads like: "Looking for RP" or "Need RP" or whatever else. For example, I get tired of such things when I see many of them, so I just click on the "Mark all read" button and voilà, grand plans are left unnoticed.

But fear not, [member="Fatty"]! Whenever you have a cool idea, you can come to me. I am willing to hear every interesting storyline out. I am willing to have a story with everybody, I am willing to start a story with whoever wants me to. I'm not saying you have to contact me, but... You can always count on me.

Well, not if I become inactive again. Then don't contact me. I will most likely answer six months later... You wouldn't want that.

 

[Evelynn]

The highs of roleplaying are mountains and the lows are chasms.