Feedback on Abyss

[Darth Abyss]

So what can I say ...

I am doing this rp stuff for to long to still suck as much as I do and I really would like some people to point out some flaws about my writing and about Abyss as a character. English isn't my native tongue and even in my native language I am a mediocre writer at best. Everytime I read all this pretty, poetic and downright amazing posts from others I feel like everything I do seems a little bit ... hollow in comparison. Obviously I will never write as perfect as someone who learned english since being born, but I hope that with a little help from all of you I can advance as writer. So what do you all think about Abyss and about me as writer?

Thank you.

 

[Vaulkhar]

You're writing is above average, which is important. I mean, English is my Native tongue and I consider you as good a writer as myself. I too have been roleplaying for quite a few years and it's always great to see roleplayers such as yourself, who's in it for more than just the win and the victory, but the fun of the story telling.

As for Abyss, he's a unique character. It's difficult to get unique on large sites like this, with so many people and characters, but he's there. He seems to be carving out a niche within the galaxy for himself, which is also great. His willingness to learn and focus on things that aren't just fighting is also great.

Only flaw I believe is sometimes you lack detail in your posts. But that's not a necessity. All in all, great writer and great character.

 

[NightSister]

I'll second the above. Even as a relentless grammar-Nazi, I would say that your spelling/grammar issues are pretty minor, especially given English isn't your first language. Your storytelling is actually really good, and I think it's great how easy it is to get a feel for Abyss's character and his personality, motivations etc. His story is an interesting and enjoyable read with great different angles. I would suggest, not that this is in any way related to the character and writing as such, to get a signature, but obviously it's optional for a reason. You do you.

[member="Abyss"]

 

[Celiana]

I haven't RP'ed with you yet.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JSCbEKsguQ

But having read some of your stories I agree with the above the only advice I can give is in your free time to read a lot as different authors write and express things differently and through reading you'll have those facets rub off on you a bit. But as [member="Aria Vale"] said you do you.

 

[Darth Ophidia]

In a little over a year on Chaos and soon to be a year as Sith Lord, I've had a fair amount of apprentices. Very few stand out, and Abyss is one of the more promising. You have impressed me with your writing more than once and I expect you will do so again in the future. There are mistakes, sure, but we all have those, native or not.

Abyss is a character I am excited to see grow and develop. I admire his interest in the universe beyond swordplay and Force abilities, not to mention his unquestionable dedication to the Sith. No doubt, Abyss will become a force to be reckoned with in the future of Chaos. If I can come with only one suggestion, then it is that you enjoy every step of the way. It's a road worth travelling.

[member="Abyss"]