Feedback on Antherion

[Ras'kala'han]

I know I don't have many posts yet, but I'd like some early feedback. I'm new to this site and this RP format, and I feel like this is a good chance to refine out any early flaws.

Current Concerns

1. Is my writing style to pretentious?
2. Are my posts too long / short?
3. Am I handling my character's special snowflake backstory well?
4. Are my powers/weaknesses appropriately handled (is this character "balanced" etc.)
5. Any advice, concerns, comments?

Thank you to anyone who replies for taking interest in helping me be better!

 

[Ras'kala'han]

I'll be tagging the people I've most recently been RPing with. No comments are necessary, I just appreciate hearing ideas on how to further refine my writing.

[member="Darth Abyss"]
[member="Serenity Loveheart"]
[member="The Slave"]
[member="Abraxas"]
[member="Cedric Grayson"]
[member="Thengil Ri'Shajirr"]
[member="Tirdarius"]
[member="Ignus"]
[member="Boethiah"]

 

[Darth Empyrean]

Oooh, a survey!

Current Concerns

1. Is my writing style to(o) pretentious?
   Of course not! I think your writing has a strong identity, and a beautiful flow to it. I wouldn't have you change it at all, and infact I even look up to it when I witness it in RP. In a sense, you help inspire my writing more than most on this site, and as such I appreciate that greatly. Thank you

[*]Are my posts too long / short?

1. Perfect. I love it, once again.

[*]Am I handling my character's special snowflake backstory well?

1. Although I haven't been introduced to it much IC yet, I think you're handling it just fine. Antherion as a character is an extremely vibrant and filled out personality. The twists and turns of who he is, the struggle with his own identity, I think he's a wonderful example of what people should be striving for when writing a character.

[*]Are my powers/weaknesses appropriately handled (is this character "balanced" etc.)

1. I think you're doing great.
   I for one love the way you've gone about RP'ing the character in terms of power and such.

[*]Any advice, concerns, comments?

1. Keep up the good work. I get excited everytime you tag me in something!

 

[Darth Eversor]

Oooh, a survey!

Current Concerns

1. Is my writing style to(o) pretentious?
   Of course not! I think your writing has a strong identity, and a beautiful flow to it. I wouldn't have you change it at all, and infact I even look up to it when I witness it in RP. In a sense, you help inspire my writing more than most on this site, and as such I appreciate that greatly. Thank you

[*]Are my posts too long / short?

1. Perfect. I love it, once again.

[*]Am I handling my character's special snowflake backstory well?

1. Although I haven't been introduced to it much IC yet, I think you're handling it just fine. Antherion as a character is an extremely vibrant and filled out personality. The twists and turns of who he is, the struggle with his own identity, I think he's a wonderful example of what people should be striving for when writing a character.

[*]Are my powers/weaknesses appropriately handled (is this character "balanced" etc.)

1. I think you're doing great.
   I for one love the way you've gone about RP'ing the character in terms of power and such.

[*]Any advice, concerns, comments?

1. Keep up the good work. I get excited everytime you tag me in something!

^ This 100%. I haven't found a single flaw about your writing or your character, and as Mr. Slave said, I find you rather inspirational. Keep it up!

 

[Seris Caine]

1. Is my writing style to pretentious? Nah.
2. Are my posts too long / short? No such thing as too long or too short, there's only what you feel is warranted.
3. Am I handling my character's special snowflake backstory well? Yep.
4. Are my powers/weaknesses appropriately handled (is this character "balanced" etc.) Yep.
5. Any advice, concerns, comments? Keep doing you. Honestly, I got nothing.

[member="Antherion"]

 

[Boethiah]

Is my writing style to pretentious?

Not at all.

Are my posts too long / short?

They're right there in the middle, I'd say.

Am I handling my character's special snowflake backstory well?

Truth-be-told, I don't think I've ever read your character's backstory. However, neither do I believe you're over-treating your character in roleplay.

Are my powers/weaknesses appropriately handled (is this character "balanced" etc.)

I might say that you tend to allow your character to be on the weaker side rather than the stronger side. So you're definitely not overstating your character's power, but I do think sometimes you underplay him in situations where he could've been stronger.

Any advice, concerns, comments?

Other than my previous comment about underplaying your character, I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts in the few threads we've done thus far.

 

[Xenro]

Actually, I think the telekinesis was appropriately handled when you dealt with my rounds on Mustafar. I liked that you stopped the initial shot and then had to focus on protecting yourself from the shrapnel. It's realistic to play things out and have some consequences when faced with a situation. Too many people won't take hits realistically, showing that you had difficulty is definitely a good way to do it.

I questioned the hoverchair bit, though it makes sense for the character. I think slowly getting away from that might be good for the character in the long run. Development is everything, right?

Also, Sith often come off as pretentious on the receiving end. Trust me. That doesn't mean that it's the case. Especially if you're just writing your character organically.

I can't really give you a lot of feedback based on that one thread, but I hope that helps.

 

[Natalie LaForte]

1. I actually really like your writing style, it reflects on the character's attitude well
2. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with post length in any circumstance, just depends on what you want to achieve with it.
3. I love that your character is essentially crippled in the physical sense, (he even got his own nickname for it), although you don't mention this as the case and just accept it the way it is, I honestly think you should highlight more how this has affected him and made him stronger in other ways as a result
4. I really do believe your character is severely underpowered, but that is your choice. I would say in a straight up fight with anyone, he would have difficulty defeating them, although that is up to what you do.
5. I like our semi-rivalry we've got going on <3