Feedback on Jaster Awaud

[Jaster Awaud]

Hey,

I have kind of hit a slump for Jaster, and really would like to see where I can fix him and become a better writer. I never really write in these spots because I figure a couple people do not like me. But I am willing to take the heat to really build Jaster into a better character, or if the case happens and I need to move on to make a better story.

Please ignore the latest Blog and Private Solo Thread I have started, they are storylines I am trying out and do not know if they will become part of his actual history.

Thanks.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Jaster of Clan Awaud"]

I might recommend not having as many hats as he does. You have him doing too much, I feel, and I think it can get extremely confusing for someone when you see him at one moment being a Fel Imperium man and then the next he is Dominion remnant and then he is with the Rebel Alliance and then next he is Mando and then next he is in Commenor space, all with some kind of authority role or so it reads/seems.

As a character, I think it dilutes him too much and he just becomes uninteresting because he tries to fill all the niches. As a writer, it can get exhausting and frankly boring to have him do absolutely everything and jump around as often, which might be why you are experiencing a slump with him. Slow down, cut off some of the excess stuff for him and refocus him to one or two roles.

And while you stated to ignore the blogs and private thread, I'm going to offer some advice on that front as well. Keep him fascinated by the Force and wanting to learn about it, but don't make him an actual Force user.

 

[Dracken Pryce]

Agree 100% with Raaf here. Every time I see him I get confused

 

[Strider Garon]

[member="Jaster of Clan Awaud"] your character like [member="Taeli Raaf"] has mention, wears to many hats. This is not skyrim, though freedom rp is what is preached, it does make for a confusing character that tries to do everything at once. Try and cut down on his obligations and focus one one goal or ambition. Flesh that out, work towards it and make it your hallmark. Now [member="Kaine Australis"] admires your neutrality with your mandalorian identity, I on the other hand despise it. It goes hand in hand with your plethora of hats. I would honestly love to see you and your clan to actually step into the mandalorian fold and actually make a presence, sides from being a bystander or witness.

 

[Klesta]

To the extent I could say Jaster may have worn too many hats (unless he's ultimately a spy or suffering from multiple personality syndrome), I typically don't make my characters wear more than three hats at any point in time.

Although Jessica is my character that has had the most IC interactions with Jaster, I have to say, for every clan that is at the forefront of Mando life, those clans that remain neutral are typically the glimmers of hope in the Mandos' darkest hours of inter-Mando disputes.