Feedback Part VIII: Carnifex Takes Manhatten

[Darth Carnifex]

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Feth me up, fam.​

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Tell me yer thoughts on Carnifex so far.​

 

[Isamu Baelor]

2spoopy4me

 

[Darth Ferus]

Damnit [member="Isamu Baelor"] beat me to it.

 

[Darth Carnifex]

Gotta go fast, [member="Darth Ferox"] me boi

 

[Mother Askani]

My fav :wub:

 

[Tanomas Graf]

3edgy5me

[member="Darth Carnifex"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Darth Carnifex"]
Do you want an honest evaluation, including critical aspects or not? No snark, just asking.

 

[Darth Carnifex]

Go for it meng.

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Darth Carnifex"]
Awesome, I'll write something up.

 

[Lord Ajihad]

memes are only mildly dank, needs improvement.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Darth Carnifex"]

As I said in the last feedback thread with Kaine, there’s a lot of positives with the character. I’ll start there.

• The character is unapologetically a villain. There’s been no rotating alignment or conflicted morality.
• Despite being an evil dictator the character does have some nuance and is not just a dumb brute.
• Your writing is always very good and you play fairly and take hits.

So all of that is really strong, and as an antagonist Kaine is great.

However, I do have some criticisms. These are just my personal view of course and you may disagree strongly!

• The character feels very one note at times. In the same way that a pure paragon Jedi can get repetitive I feel Kaine’s plots are almost always focused on the same things.
• I feel you can be very sensitive to any criticism, and that bleeds over to Kaine. For instance, rash decisions to switch factions or sudden about faces in opinions towards others.
• I have to bring it up again; cheating death. You’ve done it once, so I won’t harp on it again, but doing a second time would be pretty absurd.

 

[Lief]

Love.

But if he tries to kidnap any of my kiddies or kill any more of my characters we gon' have problems

 

[Darth Carnifex]

I feel you can be very sensitive to any criticism, and that bleeds over to Kaine. For instance, rash decisions to switch factions or sudden about faces in opinions towards others.

Yeah, I won't lie.

I've always had that problem, but I've been trying to work on it.

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Darth Carnifex"]
I wish you luck. I know it can be very hard to take anything negative as not personal.

 

[Progflaw99]

Lots of work has been put into the character, that much is extremely evident. And the style of writing is great - a lot of visual imagery laced into the wording but not too much and it doesn't detract from scenes by making half accurate comparisons/analogies.

I haven't done a lot of reading, but so far it's a joy to read!

[member="Darth Carnifex"]

 

[Darth Imperia]

Needs 100% Less Nose and 162% more appreciation for smartass Knights.

But no, seriously - I like the character. He's done a few too many genocides for my taste, but hey, we're Sith, what are ya gonna do? Your writing is pretty good, and the character's been around long enough to have a small novella for a backstory, so that's always good.

Actually, I have one complaint -

Panatha's decor is lacking. Skulls and spikes are great n' all, and I approve, but have you thought about maybe adding some tasteful black lace, perhaps made from the hair of your fallen enemies?