Feedback Part X: Kaine in Spaaaaaaace

[Darth Carnifex]

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So it's been awhile since we lacked too a closer gander at Kaine Zambrano.​

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A lot has happened since then:​

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The New Sith Empire emerged and started kicking butt and taking names​

Kaine became the Dark Lord of this new Empire.​

And some random third thing.​

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So I wanna see what you folks, new and old, let me know how well ​

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(or how poorly)​

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I've been directing this character through the many twists and turns of Chaos.​

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

[member="Darth Carnifex"]

You have a pretty decent rank tag in your signature. Even if people slam you somehow you at least have that going for you, which is nice.

 

[Evoros]

He’s a Nice Lady.

...okay, I decided to think of something because I’m not *that* mean. I like the direction he’s got right now, I don’t have a lot to compare to but I think he does a pretty good job of making uber evil deathmetal bad guy interesting.

One thing I’d say is I feel like his development is largely centered around his title - which is fair, obviously, but it could be made more personal, I think. You can roll with the Dark Lord thing and inject it into his personal life and relationships and such, you can have him meet opposition (like, in a non-injecting-them-with-maggots scenario ).

And also, like, be nice to Evoros.

[member="Darth Carnifex"]

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

As much as I like Kaine, I believe he continues to Founder in his new role...

 

[Lord Ghoul]

Something that's always struck me about the character is that he seems to be pretty consistent throughout. I'm not sure Kaine the Vizier that Mikhail Shorn met 16 years ago is any different from Kaine the Dark Lord we see today. He's stronger, with more titles, and certainly has established a fierce reputation, but I don't know that he would react to situations any differently than he would have done back then. So there's no peaks and valleys that denote a character arc of progression, or descent. There's no overall shift in personality from events that have happened to him, or things he's done. He's pretty much the same bad dude now as he always has been, you've just maxed out his level.

However, I've always said that Chaos is more like a comic book series than anything else. Villains die and come back. Legacy characters are all over the place. So, while I don't think that there is much of a character arc to speak of, maybe for Chaos you don't actually need one, since as a Big Bad he is still compelling.

And that's just my perception. Maybe you have all of that and I'm just not reading enough.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

There's no overall shift in personality from events that have happened to him, or things he's done. He's pretty much the same bad dude now as he always has been, you've just maxed out his level.

This I agree with.

Ten feedback threads and, well, he's got a new title, but he's virtually the same character as the other nine times. He's a Sith who does wicked things for...reasons. You're a good writer, but as I've said all those other times you should challenge yourself and make him different.
Give Kaine something which changes the character or makes him different, otherwise all these feedback threads are just here for people to repeat the same platitudes and critiques.

 

[Mythos]

Yes. One huge flaw. He has yet to thread with me.

Naw all jokes aside when I entered Chaos he was Darth Vornskr and he seemed a lot more brutal and genocidal. Now in my opinion he is more focused on a larger goal which makes him different to me in the sense that he is written in a way that is encompassing the larger aspect of things.

He is looking at the machine now, not the individual Cog he is responsible for. That changes the way i read him.

BTW yeah i stalk you cause you write good and are a good read. I like epic things and you write epic stuff.
[member="Darth Carnifex"]

 

[Vereshin]

I haven't been around long enough to know what Kaine was like years ago, so I love his personality and his brutality, super evil villians are always characters I enjoy.

My only criticism would be that he is simply... way too talented. Being super powerful is okay, but being super powerful in multiple areas of the Sith arts is a bit over the top. That's a very personal opinion as I like to just focus on the one area of skill with my characters, but I do think Kaine needs more major weaknesses and vulnerabilities to make his strengths seem all the more badass. Perhaps his affinity to the force is weakened somehow and he has to rely on his physical prowess? Just a thought.

Quests to power are great stories, but losing power can be just as, sometimes more, interesting.

[member="Darth Carnifex"]

 

[Jartris Entumaa]

His main problem is that his life happens in monospaced typeface.