"Fight Scenes" review

[The Amalgam]

I have been engaged in Sith Dominion threads whenever I have time, so some of you might have observed the mini-stories that took place in them. (More on that in a seperate review quest coming soon)

Anyway, its in the Dominion threads that I generally try to test my capacity to write intense memorable fights.(TBH I was somewhat disappointed in my own writing for the last dominion thread my Amalgam character was in but you be the judge) And hopefully without losing sight of a coherent narrative.

So, I'd like to know...from the dominion threads I have been in, what about the fight sequencies did you like and what did you dislike? Were the opponents memorable, or forgettable? If memorable, did they contrast well with the Amalgam and did the threat they posed to her seem credible? Lastly, of the ones I have written, which were the ones you liked the most and why. If not, why did you dislike them?

 

[Xi Rel]

Put up a link, and il take a look. I wont have a opinion on space fights or thigns like that, but if its a melee fight, il be interested in reading it. Frankly, most fight scenes i read on here on Chaos, didnt impress me. Lack of detail, and lack of realism, too movie-style flashy vith too litle injury. Thing about a good fight scene is - it has to be brutal and the consekvences have to be vizible. So... im hoping yours wil suprise me.

 

[The Amalgam]

(Smacks own forehead)

Right, should have put up actual links.

Here we go, [member="Natalija"]

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/134446-jungle-fever-tse-dominion-of-florn/

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/135887-jewel-of-the-tion-tse-dom-of-chandaar-hex-aj25/

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/137599-the-eye-of-madness-tse-dominion-of-ag-8-hex/

 

[Xi Rel]

Not bad. Especialy like the injurys part. I like the brutality of it, I like how imersive you maked it. Decent detail in combat metodology, too. Culd be beter, tho (some of the attacks wer eiter over-exagerated, like face-grabing shes so fond of doing, thats something that any "victim" wuld just reflexivly strike-off and counter, posibly breking her arm or just KOing her in the proces (not that hard to do, if u have any idea of the body mechanics vhen someone trys to grab u). Very "Poison-Ivyesque" killing vith a kiss. Didnt like that, eiter, but its apropriatly dramatic, i supose. And why that guy didnt just shove her off/punched her temple repetedly/ punched her ribs until she lost breth/kneed her/bit her neck and the karotid artery, idk. Too many "helpless victims" w/o survival instinkt. Didnt like that eiter. Also, she shoots 7 gangsters in the head, in a row, before they reakt? And then she dont get hit once in return, even tho she runs thru a hail of blaster-fire, vhile weak and vulnerable. Riiight. Aniway, no mater, just my nit-picking as a fighter, and someone vho served in the army. Also, some wer too under-emphaszed. She got a broken vrist, yet she stil grabed her oponent with a BROKEN WRIST hand. Thats not even posible, she wuld have no kontrol left in that hand at all. All she culd do is make weak slaps vith it (and thats asuming she culd kontrol the pain from it in the first place, but lets asume she can, being a Sith). Thats a major point. I culd also list a few more, the slice to her neck by that spring-blade from that pirate guy, that wuld have bleeded her out sooner, etc. I culd list more, but thoze are the high-lights. Basicly, a litle more realizm and a litle less (anti)hero-magic.) Also, too much gloating by her enemy, too litle action. That Miraluka chick had her dead to rights 2 times in a row, and both times, she karked it up by doing the classic "movie gloating" over YC. Like the saying gos "if your going to kill someone, do it, dont talk about it". That realy bugged me, and is the reazon i generaly dont like movies that use that cliche. Also that pirate guy, he pulls a pepper-spray baloon insted of a blaster. And then for some reazon he dont finish her off vhile shes blinded and retching. Hehe. If he pulled a blaster, it wuld have ended right there and then. So thats 3 times "plot armor" saved YC. Not good. Remynds me to much of Rey and her plot armor vhich is ridiculus (and why i hate that char more then any other in the history of SW).

Story wize, i like it. Your a hell of a vriter, her character is wel fleshed-out, id say beter then most i seen here. Aniway, thats my review, hope it helps.