Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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 First Feedback Post!

Spitfire Soul, Heart of Gold
Hey all!

I haven't necessarily been around for too horribly long, but I have had pretty wonderful interactions with a lot of people thus far and I would absolutely love thoughts! What do you think of the character? Are there things about her that could use improvement? What things do you like about her? Are there things that I as a writer can improve on or should just continue doing?

I personally love feedback so I can improve upon things and grow the character and as a player! All I ask is that if you're going to be brutal in your criticism, then give it with the best intentions haha

Alright! Let me have it!
 
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If the abyss stares at you, don't blink
Azurine is a survivor.
Azurine is s leader.
Azurine is a fireplug.

In this relatively small(but informative!) sample size, Azurine has been everything from an eager student, an inspirational leader, to a jokester, to a storyteller. She has the history, she has the desire and she has the will (right "Ice cream"?) .

My only criticism would normally be "pick a lane" but to be honest. I think that she NEEDS to be all of this, at least right now. It defines her and makes her stronger than she already is.

A good read every time.


Don't tell Caltin I said that.
 
Azzie is someone I see a lot of potential in. I am watching your story with great interest, as it were, and see a lot of the same story beats as I did with Jonyna, but with it's own unique twist. She tries hard to live up to the partner she lost, the broken dyad part of her story being super interesting, and something I'd love to see more of.

I think she needs room to grow, more than anything. You have an excellent foundation, now you just need to build on it. Show her specialize, show her struggle with the modern world, show her rebel heart grind up against the ways of the NJO. All stuff that can be explored, and all stuff that'll make for great stories.
 
Azzie is such a great character, and you've done an awesome job weaving her into the current timeline and into the greater overall world of the GA and such. Your writing style is so approachable and enjoyable, and it's clear that you've put a lot of thought and heart into Azzie's posts. The way you pair them with fitting music selections is a really nice touch that adds depth to her character.

That said, I think an area of opportunity is to slow things down a bit. From what you've shared about your experience on Chaos and previous RP sites, it seems like you're so excited to dive into threads and interactions -- which is totally relatable! -- but sometimes end up juggling too much at once. It sounds like this can lead to feeling overwhelmed, especially when threads stack up, and then you start to feel guilty about not getting to them. Combine that with the demands of work, school, and life in general, and it's no wonder it takes a toll on your enthusiasm for posting and thus some threads fall to the wayside.

I completely get the temptation to jump into multiple RPs at once -- I do it too! -- but it might help to focus on just a handful at a time. Maybe prioritize the threads that are most important for Azzie's arc, add a couple of fun social ones, and mix in one or two adventure threads. This way, you can give each story the attention it deserves without feeling like you're stretching yourself too thin. I did the same when I first started, limiting myself to 10 threads and focusing on those first, finishing one off before starting another one and it helped keep things balanced for me.

I also noticed there are some unfinished storylines that seem to lack resolution. Of course, not every thread needs to tie up neatly, but for a reader, and maybe even for you as a writer, it can feel a little disjointed when things jump too quickly from one storyline to the next. If closure is something that helps you feel satisfied with your work, it might be worth revisiting a few of those stories or discussing with your writing partners how things could have played out.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you're having fun. Don't hesitate to be honest with yourself and your writing partners if a thread isn't working for you or if you'd rather not continue it.

It's completely okay to say, Hey, I'm not feeling this one, or even chat about what could have happened and move on. Every writer has their own style and pace, but keeping your projects manageable might make things more enjoyable and less overwhelming for you.

Keep up the amazing work with Azzie, she's a super neat character, and I can't wait to see how her story continues to unfold!
 
My only feedback is to try and remember to breath more. I've seen you get in your own head about your writing and panic that you're a problem. You're not. You're a fantastic writer who takes consideration for all around them and that's a lot of what I see your panic being; you think you're not. When you start to feel like that, try and take a step back and give yourself a moment to breathe.

Can't stress enough how much of a blast it's been writing with you so far. Keep it up.
 

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