Kal
Whispers
Three standard cans of Fizzle, all new products are branded Cozmic instead.
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
Cozmic, Your Way. Taste the Fizzle. Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration. Cozmic, in way too many ads.
Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration, can be found in a wide variety of tasty, carefully synthesised blends held in well-designed, biodegradable containers. Cozmic has won a variety of awards for its taste, honest business practices, and sustainability, a mere half of which were handed out by organisations wholly or partially funded by CozmiCo. Cozmic is a staple of many diets that are not unhealthy, per se.
Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic. Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic. Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic. Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic.
Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration was previously Fizzle, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration. Following a lawsuit by Brayde Brewing and Distilleries, the universally acclaimed (according to CozmiCo) soda was rebranded in a public contest. It is unknown what manner of settlement was agreed upon, but what is known is that the company remains a galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration.
- Intent: Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration, now available everywhere*.
- *Except for CozmiCo-forsaken backwaters where Cozmic is not available.
- Image Source: Fizzle Soda Breakdown by Amber Adams
- Canon Link: N/A
- Permissions: BBD Lawsuit
- Primary Source:
Daiya
|
Enyo Typhos
- Name: Cozmic, formerly Fizzle.
- Manufacturer: CozmicCo
- Affiliation: Literally anyone.
- Market Status: Open-Market
- Modularity: Very Significant.
- Production: Mass-Produced
- Material: Synthetic Compounds
- Classification: Beverage
- Method of Consumption: Orally
- Average Life: Cozmic provides the burst of energy* you need to live your life, your way.
- *Cozmic Diet contains no substances whatsoever digestible by most forms of organic life.
- *Most variants of Cozmic are equal to or inferior to soda/water/nutrient paste in nutritional quality.
- Nutritional Value/Allergies/Side Effects/Purpose: Cozmic is a galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration [No Nutritional Value; Objectively Worse Than Water] at discount rates. No one* is allergic to Cozmic. Drink more Cozmic. Buy more Cozmic. Buy. Buy. Buy.
- *Virtually no one is allergic to Cozmic; beings that display allergic reactions should share their Cozmic instead.
- Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration, comes in a number of different varieties. It is most frequently stored in biodegradable hexaplast containers - typically cans, bottles, or barrels. Listed below are some of the more common variants, feel free to make up your own.
- Cozmic Diet: A general term for any Cozmic blend completely void of anything digestible. It's not unhealthy. It's not anything, really.
- Cozmic Max: The polar opposite of Cozmic Diet, Cozmic Max is crammed full of nutrients. Chug it down quickly, it's technically food.
- Cozmic Pure: Water. It's chemically clean water in a can or bottle. It's more expensive than tap water but rarely superior in any way.
- Cozmic Grey: The extremely rare "liquid smoke" that is Cozmic Grey is meant to be drunk by spirits and does odd things to organics.
- Cozmic Crash: Do you need a spike of energy now, "sugar" crash be damned? Drink Cozmic Crash, the "revitalising sucker punch" you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and finish that fifteen-hour workday and/or marathon holofilm binging session.
- HOLY CIDER: Marketed as "the refreshment a crusader of the light needs to keep up the good work", Holy Cider is a nonalcoholic, low on sugar drink said to taste of "capitalism". It is no more holy than any other soda, pandering to the Ashlan Crusade notwithstanding.
- Numerous other variants exist to pander to other groups, but none are quite as hair-brained as selling soda to crusaders.
- Tetan Purple: The closest Cozmic comes to posh, Tetan Purple comes in an unusually expensive purple-and-gold can listing its proud origins from ancient Cinnagar itself and has been noted to taste like "synthetic sugar and privilege". You either love it or you hate it.
- Sometimes mixed with Corellian whiskey by tasteless jerkwads whose primary goal is to flaunt their (or their parents') wealth.
- Salted Dactyl: An exceedingly dubious blend that includes both Dactyl and common salt - as a result, many Arcona find themselves addicted to its strange mixture of sweet and salt. It is noted as an acquired taste for other species - Devaronians are generally allergic.
- Kalidan Frost: Seemingly self-cooling take on normal Cozmic; allegedly due to the inclusion of frostberries, actually due to chemicals. While named after the icy world of Kalidan-Lysenia, it's not terribly popular there, for obvious reasons: Cold drinks and cold climates.
- Spacers' Special: Most Cozmic blends are fairly light on the energy, most. The Spacers' Special is not one of them - having once been described as "the liquid-equivalent of injecting sugar and caffeine into the heart", it is perfect for long hauls and poor sleep schedules.
- The Bad Choice is a homemade twist incorporating a cocktail of narcotic spice; it is exactly as bad an idea as it sounds.
- The Underworld Surprise is a truly strange twist on the Spacers' Special that incorporates various dirt cheap chemicals. "Kicks like a rancor", "tastes oddly like speeder fuel", and can be used as an exceedingly dubious alternative to blaster gas in a pinch.
- Tiss'sharl Green: An odd-but-not-unappealing blend from the eponymous planet, Tiss'sharl Green is a favourite among the native Tiss'shar and a bit of a curiosity elsewhere - it's not bad, per se, but it's most certainly different. It is said to taste "strangely meaty".
- Korriban Deep Red: An unofficial and quite frankly illegal blend that mixes in small quantities of ground-up Red Sith mummies in the vain hope that it will somehow function as a cure-all. It allegedly occasionally works. According to the criminals that sell it to lunatics.
- Nal Hutta Garblebuster: Officially Cozmic Brown, the Nal Hulla Garblebuster is a horrid sludge whose scent and general substance is known to provoke fight or flight reactions in many near-humans - it is, however, quite popular with Hutts and Gamorreans.
- Taste the Fizzle: Cozmic is tasty. Seriously. Sure it's mostly industrial byproducts, but it's thoroughly sanitised and did I mention tasty?
- Cozmic, Your Way: Cozmic comes in a truly ungodly number of variants - Hutts and Humans alike can find something just right for them.
- Unnatural: Cozmic is thoroughly synthetic, so much so that most of its ingredients are bioindustrial byproducts - yay for recycling, right?
Cozmic, Your Way. Taste the Fizzle. Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration. Cozmic, in way too many ads.
Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration, can be found in a wide variety of tasty, carefully synthesised blends held in well-designed, biodegradable containers. Cozmic has won a variety of awards for its taste, honest business practices, and sustainability, a mere half of which were handed out by organisations wholly or partially funded by CozmiCo. Cozmic is a staple of many diets that are not unhealthy, per se.
Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic. Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic. Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic. Cozmic is tasty, you want to drink Cozmic.
Cozmic, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration was previously Fizzle, the galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration. Following a lawsuit by Brayde Brewing and Distilleries, the universally acclaimed (according to CozmiCo) soda was rebranded in a public contest. It is unknown what manner of settlement was agreed upon, but what is known is that the company remains a galaxy-leading source of delicious hydration.
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