Private For a Few Credits More

[Levi]

Nar Shaddaa
Rag​

Nar Shaddaa was a nice enough place, Levi supposed. If you could look past the overwhelming pollution, exceptional poverty rate, and rampant crime that not only was a part of everyday life, but pretty much also what governed the whole damn moon. It was basically Coruscant, if all of Coruscant was as garbage as its lower levels. Yet, for all its hellish squalor, there were right heaps of money to be made here. If you knew where to look. And Levi did.*

“The trick is starting small, Rag. You’ve got to have pa-” He advised, just as his boot slipped into another puddle of rank sewage. With a scoff, he shook off the excess water before continuing, “Ahem, you’ve got to have patience in this business. Sure, knocking off a few overgrown fang-rats doesn’t sound like the most lucrative enterprise, but keep climbing and we’ll be swimming in credits in no time! Then we can finally get off of this moon, and onto bigger and better things.” They also really, terribly, desperately needed any sum of wealth to their name. So when some local paupers offered to pool their resources together and hire somebody to kill the fuzzy mutants that had been stealing what little food they had, Levi was eager to accept the call. As much as he hated getting dirty, he hated not having money more.

The Devaronian rounded the next corner of the sewer system, just in time to see a rather hefty fang-rat scurry further into a dark corridor. He pointed in the direction, turning back to make sure Rag noted it too, “Aha! We’re getting closer to our prize, my dear fellow. Just as I said, patience is a virtue.” The holster of his blaster unclipped, and he made his way towards the corridor, intent on getting rid of the nest as quick as possible.

*Opinion, disputed

 

[Rag]

Fangratfangratfangratfangratfangratfangratfangrat.

Mozzie was a big ol’ ball droid if he thought it was gonna get bigger and better than this. Pretty much the best job in the whole kriffin’ galaxy just lands right in their mush and he’s gonna talk about “bumping off this mom” and “bigger butter trees.” Also he said if they kept climbing they could swim, which is totally mixing metaphors. But that’s the tragedy of young people these days — materialism contains no limiting principle, while the environment in which it is placed is strictly limited.

Anyway, so Rag was barefoot. And the ground was slip-per-y! Rag felt like Rag could skate around like the prettiest ballerina you’ve ever even heard about. And Bone was Rag’s skating partner, because he kept picking Rag up when Rag was about to cross one of those pools of yuck.

“These are tough streets, rookie!” Rag wriggled out of Bone’s arms and dropped to the black stone floor. Rag bounded up by Mozzie, who had just readied his holster for bang bang. “You’re lucky you got a crack gumshoe like me with ya, or else things could go gashouse in a jiff.”

The sounds of rat music scurried out past some slimy bars, some kinda grate or something. A fang-rat was caught in between two of them.

Rag skipped up to it and watched it beat around for a while. It was stuck on account of its healthy physique, but it didn’t seem all that mangy either.

“This is no good, rookie.” Rag scooped it up under the armpits and freed it with a thunk. Rag looked it in its beady eyes for a while. “We don’t gotta let this city change us. Forget you ever seen anything.”

Rag plopped the rat on top of Rag’s head, where it sat contentedly. “Anyway, let’s hack it, Johnny-boy!” Bone grabbed at the gate and tugged. One bar bent, cracking the brick in a spider line up and above them. A few unsteady bricks started slipping out directly overhead

“Oh.”

Levi @Bone @Fangrat​

 

[Levi]

Rag​

As enlightening as their conversation was, Levi gave up trying to interpret all of the things Rag says rather soon into their partnership. “Yes yes, your presence is ever valued, Rag." He assured them, giving the gremlin a singular pat on the shoulder before pressing on towards the grate.

He pasued, watching as Rag snatched up the corpulent vermin, and in no time had made it a new buddy. "Fraternizing with the enemy is typically frowned upon, my friend." Though other than this slightest of reprimands, he made no further comment on Rag's decision.

Before Levi could even say no, they had already chosen to sic Bone on the gate, and he placed his arm in front of Rag to prevent them to running forward as the foundation loosened. "'Oh' indeed." With a few cautious steps back, he watched as the small tunnel caved in. Thankfully, it was not vital to the sewer's structural integrity as a whole, and other than their path forward being blocked, all was fine. Other than whatever violations may come from causing damage to the system, but there was no reason to notify anyone of that.

The pile of bricks settled, and a low rumble echoed throughout the tunnels before the ambience faded back to little more than the dripping of water. "Well, I suppose that is one way to solve our problem. Let's-"

A second rumble ran through the sewers. Louder than the last.

Levi's boot squeaked against the floor as he prepared to sprint out at a moment's notice, but the collapse never came. "...That wasn't the walls." He peered down the corridor to the right, "What say we go find whatever that was? Mayhap it will lead us to another nest. No reason to leave a job half-finished."

That was a lie. Levi had left jobs have done before. Plenty of times, in fact. But this smelled of something prospective.

No, not the of invasive odor of abundant raw sewage.

The smell of adventure.

 

[Rag]

“Okay!”

Rag wheeled away from the cave-in and followed Mozzie down the hall. That rumble he was following didn’t make a lot of sense to Rag, since everything rumbled all the time, but Rag would humor him in this case.

“So,” Rag said, eyes cast up at the fang-rat on Rag’s head. “Is your name also Rag?”

“YES MY NAME IS RAG.”

“Oh, cool. Have you lived in the sewers long?”

“NO.”

“Wow.”

Mozzie crept on forward. Stinking water flowed over the wall in waves, catching dim light from his lantern and from Bone’s facelamp. Rag set Rag into the droid’s palm, then crawled into the other palm and produced Rag’s Companion2000.

“Hey Rag, you ever use one of these babies?”

“I CANNOT TYPE.”

“Oh, that makes sense. Probably ‘cos you don’t have thumbs.”

“I DO NOT HAVE THUMBS.”

“It’s cool,” Rag said, swiveling the C2’s parabolic mic to scan for noises. “Rag didn’t have thumbs for a long time either. Had to win these puppies in a game of holo-chess against a Mandalorian on booster blue. Not even kidding.”

The spectrogram hung low, shimmering like muck but not actually doing anything. Except, weird waveforms from the water next to them…

Rag leaned closer. “What’s that?”

Levi @Bone Rag no Rag Rag no not that Rag Rag Rag​

 

[Levi]

Levi drowned out Rag’s story, intent on focusing on the task ahead. Only once Rag paused and leaned in closer did he finally overhear what they were saying.

“What? What’s what?” He peeked over at the spectrogram, and then at the moat of sewer water that passed by them. Small, rhythmic waves rippled out in their direction, coming from the direction of a large archway just in front of them. Inside of it there was little to no light, and Levi took a single step forward, shining his light in to examine the room.

He could only pick out bits and pieces, but the room seemed much larger than the rest of the tunnels, with various pipes collecting towards the top and presumably distributing the waste across the system. “Well, I’m sure it’s nothing to bother ourselves with. We’ll be stumbling upon the nest any second now.”

Levi looked back at Rag with a broad smile, when a single step rumbled. Out from the darkness, a large, pincer-like claw stabbed into the water, cracking the stone below as it did. The Devaronian froze in place, daring not to look as more of the creature’s features became illuminated for Rag to see. A broad, shell-like head, complete with razor sharp fangs and three eyes emerged. The maw hung precariously over Levi, and he slowly turned back to see the Acklay that had revealed itself. He stumbled over his words, shaking his head in disbelief, “That’s… not a… fang-rat…”

The Acklay let out an ear-ringing shriek.

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Rag shrieked back. The monster had more teeth than Rag did, and that meant trouble.

Bright light oranged Rag’s eyelids, which were squeezed shut. It toasted the air in a wave of dry heat, sort of like sitting in front of a fireplace, if the fireplace was surrounded by poo. When Rag looked, Bone’s arms were smoking glowing hot while flames licked stone where the thing had been. Water rippled, like the thing had just dove in.

Rag popped the C2 back into Bone’s shoulder compartment and picked up Rag in both arms. “Hey, Mozzie!” Rag shouted. “Do a grift on it or something!”

Bone’s flame jets probably wouldn’t come online for another minute, his painted face searching, and Rag was squirming in Rag’s arms.

Levi @Bone @R a g​

 

[Levi]

Levi leapt back at the first sign of movement, scrambling to cover both from the flames and the creature. He skidded to a halt behind Bone, peering over past the droid's large frame to find the Acklay gone in the water below. “I’m not sure it would respond too kindly to that, Rag.” Levi mumbled in response.

The water stilled, and the three were left in a pregnant silence. “Upon reconsideration, maybe this job is a bit out of our league given current circumstances. I suggest we-” naturally, the beast chosen then to strike. It bursted from the water, launching jagged pincers down into the stone on either side of the group. Levi jumped, and took no hesitation in making his exit, “Book it, kid!”

He scrambled towards the exit, only for the Acklay to cut them off a second time, forcing them to make a retreat deeper into the sewers. Levi pulled out his blaster and began to fire indiscriminately behind him, striking their pursuer several times but unable to pierce its hide.

Rounding the corner, the trio arrived at a ladder, which led up to a manhole cover above. “Splendid!” Levi ascended up the rungs, looking back to see if Rag was following. He opened the manhole cover, sliding it to the side and crawling onto the streets. He stood up to find himself awkwardly placed in the middle of a quiet street. Across the way, a group of hoodlums observed the Devaronian with puzzlement. Levi waved in greeting, “Evening, fellows. Nothing like a good jog through the ol’ cesspool to get your daily recommended exercise, eh?”

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Rag puffed after Mozzie, Rag bouncing along in Rag’s arms. Normally Rag had excellent stamina, but other factors complicated that today, like the slick terrain and the fact that Rag only has one lung. And toting a chubby fang rat, but these things were non-negotiable.

Bone did his best to keep up behind. The droid had a big stride, but was also literally a million ton sack of steel. Rag had meant to warn Mozzie that if they banked too hard it was possible Bone would keep sliding on the wet stone and smash them both against the wall, but that would spoil the surprise if it did happen, so Rag decided against it.

Instead, when the Acklay popped down in front of them and Mozzie spun to correct course, they cut around Bone as the droid went into a low shove against the beast, buying them time. At last, the old guy found a hatch out.

Rag was right behind, but slowed to a halt. Rag looked back, then up. No way Bone could make it up there. And no way Rag was gonna leave Bone. Not in a hundred million billion years. Bone slowed to a stop in front of Rag, the sewer monster charging behind.

“Save Rag!” Rag shouted, and hucked Rag up through the manhole at Mozzie.

What an incredible feeling to have a clear conscience. The weight of Rag’s safety had weighed like heavy chains on Rag’s heart, and now that weight disappeared. Rag felt light as a bouncer on giggledust. What’s more, it was easy to psych up with bulk loader as backup.

Rag strode — with great poise and aplomb — towards the Acklay. Bone clomped behind.

“You tooted the wrong ringer, bindle stiff.”

…​

What poured out from the manhole, other than stink, was a cacophony of grinding metal, smoke, fire, and screams that could either have come from Rag or from the Acklay, though it was impossible to tell which. Except for the prismatic variety of curses, most of which you could guess the Acklay didn’t have access to.

Then everything was still. The manhole cover twitched. Two spined Acklay claws stuck out, waving unevenly.

“OoooOooOOoooo! I’m the ghost of a dumb sewer pig!”

Rag popped out, holding a pair of Acklay claws in sooty hands, and grinned.

Levi @Bone @R a g​

 

[Levi]

Levi peeked back at the manhole opening just in time to see a chunky rat come sailing out. He snatched the creature midair, a kindness that was met with a few nips on the fingers.

“You’re lucky I don’t drop you back in there,” Levi scowled, letting the smaller Rag settle on his shoulder. He considered it, but he also had yet to invoke the original Rag’s ire, and part of him was at least a little bit scared of what might happen if he did.

The hoodlums across the way stood up to approach, and he gave them a nervous smile. All three paused in anticipation however, as the sounds of screaming and… violence, echoed out from the sewers below.

Rag emerged with their spoils of war, and the trio stared in awe at the sight of the monstrous beast slain.

“Rag… What the blazes happened down there?”

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Rag cocked Rag’s head. Did Mozzie not even see? Rag tried to recall the events that just transpired, tapping Rag’s finger on Rag’s chin.

“Well,” Rag started, “First Rag strode — with great poise and aplomb — towards the Acklay. Bone clomped behind. Then Rag said something really cool.

" … ​

“After that, what poured out from the manhole, other than stink, was a cacophony of grinding metal, smoke, fire, and screams that could either have come from Rag or from the Acklay, though it was impossible to tell which. Except for the prismatic variety of curses, most of which you could guess the Acklay didn’t have access to.

“Then everything was still. The manhole cover twitched. Two spined Acklay claws stuck out, waving unevenly.

“‘OoooOooOOoooo! I’m the ghost of a dumb sewer pig!’ (That’s what Rag said.)

“Then Rag popped out, holding a pair of Acklay claws in sooty hands, and grinned.”

Rag glanced back down at the sewer. “I think Bone is gonna try and find another way up. The manhole was a little too small for him to —”

CRASH!

In a haze of brickdust, a huge metal hand tore through the pavement, followed by a huger metaler droid painted with a hundred awesome faces. Bone pulled himself up from the new and improved manhole.

Rag squealed as the droid stood full height and dusted off some… well, some dust, then Rag ran and leapt and threw Rag’s arms around the beautiful brute’s neck, giggling like crazy the whole time. Bone settled one hand under, which Rag dropped into while shaking off the end of a giggle fit.

That was replaced with tired. Not long after, Rag was snoring asleep.

Levi @Bone @R a g​

 

[Levi]

Levi’s only response was a series of confused blinks, before he resigned to Rag’s explanation. The Acklay was done for, and that was what mattered. He couldn’t get over the strange feeling that their story was going to make a blood vessel explode in his brain.

“...What did that one just say?”

Levi spun around as his thoughts returned to the present, the two street dwellers now giving him the stink eye, “Eh, I beg your pardon?”

“Mister Buttercup is dead?”

“Mister… Buttercup?”

“That was the boss’ favorite pet.”

“You’re boss had a pet acklay? In the sewer?” Levi squinted and tilted his head further to the side with every second.

“He likes fancy creatures. Said it was amphiberous or somethin’.

“Amphibious.”

“Amphiberous. So he let it hang in the sewers when it got too big.”

“That’s…” With lips pursed, he took a single step backwards as he gauged the situation. The two men took a step forward to meet him. “And who might your boss be, exactly?”

“Gorda the Hutt.” One of the men rested a hand against his pocket, in which rested a blaster. Time to put on the charm.

“...That was a different Acklay.”

“What?”

“There’s plenty of Acklays on this here moon, don’t you know?” He waved a finger at the men, deducing early on that they were perhaps not the most well-educated individuals. “Tsk tsk tsk, really, I think your boss would be rather upset that you can’t tell the difference between Mister Buttercup and any other old bargain bin Acklay off the street.”

“Uh…” The two men exchanged nervous glances.

“Perhaps it’s best to double check that Mister Buttercup is indeed still down there and not… I don’t know, missing? That would be rather unfortunate, wouldn’t it? Gorda would likely be perturbed to hear such news.”

The threat of an angry Hutt gangster sent the two men down the manhole in record time. “Right then. Let’s not dally, Bone.” Levi did a double take as he rediscovered the large rat sitting on his shoulder, and plopped it down onto Rag’s chest while they slept. “Truth be told I’ve no idea who Gorda is, but I haven’t been on the Narsh scene in some time. Riling up a crime lord is about the last thing we want to do right now. Let’s go collect our reward. I’m going to count that as a job well done.” He nudged the heavy loader droid on the arm before taking their leave with a casual strut. “Oh, and no more sewer jobs, methinks.”

Rag​