From a weapon to a shield...

[Kian Karr]

Vun Mulvogg lay on the ground at Kian's feet. There was a lot of hatred in the heart of the man before him. But did that hatred always exist there...or was it put there by years of training, torture, and molding. Kian did not know what he would do. He could end the man now, as he had just ended the life of the Sith who started him on this path. As a Jedi Shadow Kian was sworn to preserve the lightside of the force and destroy those who used the darkside, but killing was always to be avoided if possible.

"What are you waiting for?" the Shistavanen asked, his eyes boring into Kian's masked face. There was a resignation in those eyes....and acceptance. For a long moment Kian remained silent, the only noise was the steady breathing of the downed force user in front of him and the hum of his green lightsaber blade, which hung down at his side.

"You've spent much of your life as a weapon....a tool to kill and destroy." Kian said making up his mind. With a whooshing sound his blade deactivated and Kian stretched out his taloned hand to help Vun up, "Why not try your hand at protecting those who would have once been your prey? Why not be the shield instead of the weapon?"

~ ~ ~​

Kian opened his eyes and raised his head to look out of the observation deck on the highest level of The Sha Koon. Kian had always liked it here. Above him, the transparasteel dome allowed him to look out into the darkness of space. A myriad of stars painted that darkness above him, each dot speaking of a vast array of worlds teeming with life. Kian had sent word to [member="Vun Mulvogg"] to meet him here so they could begin their journey together.

Kian still wasn't sure if Vun had what it would take to become a Jedi. The path was a hard one to walk, even for those who hadn't suffered so much or experienced such terrors. It would take work, but there was something about the young force user that made Kian believe he could succeed.

He had faith in the force having brought them together....and faith in his gut.

 

[Vun Mulvogg]

Vun lay on the ground, disarmed, a stream of deadly green energy poised to claim his life in an instant. The dragon in his heart urged him to rise up again — if he accepted death, it should be on his feet — he should die fighting. He knew he would never be able to retrieve his lightsaber in time; even calling on the Force, the green blade in front of him would end his life before his weapon even travelled half the journey back to him. This would be nothing more than an act of defiance. A refusal to submit to the man who had ruined his chance at revenge on his master — at salvation.

After all, Vun had just failed. He had discovered that his former Master had killed his family and used for more than twenty years, and he had set off on a mission of revenge. A narrow brush with death had informed him that he was no match for his Master, so he had thought that the Force had sent him a blessing in the form of this Jedi Master. Together, they had fought Vun's old Master, but it had been this Jedi, dispassionate and without even the hint of a grudge with Vun's Master, who had struck the killing blow. The Sith Lord had died without even a chance to look Vun in the eye and repent for his immeasurable crimes. That denial had sprung Vun into action, instinctively bringing his blade to bear against this Jedi Master's. And he had lost. Here he was, still full of pain and hate. But it was futile; the pain and anger of his was directed at something that had already been killed. There was no way to satiate any of it anymore.

Attack, the dragon whispered. Soon, you will feel nothing at all.

But what would he have done if he had landed the killing blow anyway? Once he had satisfied his vengeance, he would have nothing to live for. Would he return to a life of aimless terrorising and crime, seeking incremental dullings of the infinite pain inside him? He knew he would suffer forever anyway. He would spend however long he could inflicting the pain he felt on others in a deluded, endless effort to escape his prison, until at last he saw the futility of it all. Then, the inevitable realisation: the only thing he could do to end his suffering would be to take his own life.

It was much the same now. Vun had nothing left to live for; there was nothing to do but to surrender himself fully to the nothingness that he had built for himself. What was the dragon saying? All roads led to the same destination. Perhaps this Jedi Master had done him a service by bringing him to that destination faster. The dragon on the other hand... it had led him through years of ruin and pain, for no reason at all. He could have ended it all so long ago, if only the dragon hadn't been whispering in his heart all this time. This dragon was the true source of all his pain and suffering. For that, Vun needed vengeance. Here was how he would truly break out of his prison.

He closed his eyes and reaches out in the Force. He felt his distant lightsaber sliding silently along the ground, faster and faster as he felt energy returning to his body. Stronger, stronger he became. Faster, faster, his weapon approached him. There was no response from his enemy. Good. He hasn't noticed, then. The lightsaber hilt found itself back in Vun's grasp, and with one triumphant roar, he thrust into the heart of his enemy, ending its life with unmistakable finality. Before him collapsed not the Jedi Master, but the dragon in his heart, the driver of all his anguish and hate for more than twenty years.

Vun's eyes opened again. His lightsaber was still lying several metres away on the ground, and the Jedi Master, as vigilant as ever, still had his blade poised to end Vun's life. But now, with the dragon dead, there was truly nothing left for him to do but accept his fate. He was ready now. Looking up, the wolf bored his eyes into the Kel Dor's — or into the covers of his breath mask, anyway — and asked, "What are you waiting for?" He didn't notice that the expression in his own eyes had changed.

***​

It was a new day. Master [member="Kian Karr"] — his new Master — had summoned him to the top level of the Sha Koon, where they were to begin their training. Unexpectedly, the Kel Dor had chosen to spare his life, asking him to repent and instead embrace the life of a Jedi. Vun had been more than ready to accept death at that moment. But Master Karr had another answer in mind. There is no death, the Jedi Master had told him. There is only the Force.

As he walked up to his new Master, Vun ran his mind through why he had accepted Master Karr's offer. Perhaps it had just been curiosity at the prospect of experiencing life on the other side. If the path of anger had done nothing but build all the pain he felt in his heart, perhaps the alternative path would be liberating.

It turned out Vun had been wrong yesterday. Slaying the dragon hadn't ended all his woes, for its corpse still weighed heavily on his heart — a reminder of his dark, traumatic past. But it was a step forward, a first step into a larger world, his new master had told him. Since his parents' deaths, Master Karr had been the only one in his life who hadn't led him further down the path of anguish and agony. While Vun could not move that impossibly heavy corpse from his heart on his own, he held hope — for the first time in a long time — that he could do it with his new Master's aid.

Vun was now only a few metres from the man who had held the power over his life and death yesterday... and perhaps still did. He dropped to one knee and bowed — an expression of gratitude as much as respect — as he addressed his master with classic Shistavanen taciturnity: "My master. I am ready."

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian felt Vun approaching. It was impossible not too. The conflict in his force signature was apparent. Kian knew that his new padawan was struggling with some internal conflict. That was surely to be expected. Kian could only imagine what his life must have been like up until the point they met. He had learned of some of it in their working together, but certainly not all. Kian had lived a cushy early life in comparison.

"Please," Kian said waving off the formal, respectful gesture, "Call me Kian. Formal titles, I feel, hamper the development of the master and apprentice bond." Kian leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat cross-legged. "You and I are working towards a common goal, your training in the ways of the Jedi. In that regard, we are colleagues."

"Besides," Kian said chuckling to himself, "I have always found that I learn a great deal from my students - and I suspect I'll learn a great deal from you." Kian had not had much experience with Shistavanen - they tended to be an isolated people. Though what he knew of them were that they were great hunters and they were often aloof and proud. Kian's often joking, jovial nature may prove to entertain, or infuriate, the younger man.

"I'd like us to take some time to work on meditative techniques," Kian said leaning back and eyeing the new Jedi with a tilted, curious look, "I imagine you have not had much practice at centering yourself and calming your emotions." Sith and darkside users tended to meditate in ways much different than Jedi. "I think, given your recent transition from the dark to the light, it would be very beneficial for this skill to be worked on."

"But of course, we will also do some bladework today." Kian smiled as he said this. He had been very impressed with the younger warrior when they had gone after his former master. While the darkside fueled him, the fact that he was skilled with a blade was hard to ignore. "Before we proceed, however, I want to know if you have any questions - or concerns - you might want to air?"

[member="Vun Mulvogg"]​

 

[Vun Mulvogg]

Vun was surprised at his teacher's suggestion. He knew the Jedi were less hierarchical than the Sith, but he had never imagined that they would be this egalitarian. This would take some adjusting too... But the next thing he heard from [member="Kian Karr"] was even more baffling.

"Learn from me, master? I... find that hard to imagine." How could he teach others, when there was still so much he had to learn for himself?

He was relieved to know that his master intended to start his training by calming the storm raging within him. It was too much for him to handle on his own. He was sure his master could sense his relief at the prospect of working on his emotions... that would eliminate the need to concur verbally.

When prompted to ask any questions he had, Vun felt his throat weighed down by the endless questions he had lined up for his master. How long would this take? Was it even possible? How far could one fall before redemption was out of sight forever? What hidden difficulties were there to adjust to? He figured that, like a good Shistavanen, he would need to figure out the answer to many of them on his own. But there was something that he felt the urge to obtain an answer to from someone more experienced than he was.

"I would like to know..." he began, recalling that he had called Kian "master" once after the latter had told him not to. But Vun found himself unable to use his master's name at present. Awkward as it was, he was forced to speak to the Jedi Master without directly addressing him at all. Finally raising his head from its bowed state, Vun tried to look his master in the eye. "What makes a Jedi?"

 

[Kian Karr]

"You'd be amazed." Kian said chuckling and taking in his padawan for a moment. It had been quite some time, but certainly not so far that Kian had forgotten what it was like to be a padawan. Had Master Vosra told Kian that he was going to learn from him, he would have been very skeptical too. Though....he may well have. Kian's Master had been unorthodox and humbling.

"Each student is different...unique. Similar to facing off against a new opponent," Kian said putting it into warrior context for the younger man, "You learn something each time you teach or interact with another. We all leave our marks on the people in our lives. I'll do my best to impart knowledge on you, but it won't be a fully one-way street."

What makes a Jedi? Vun didn't start with a simple question did he. Kian had often spent time pondering this, more and more. Across the galaxy there were so many different Jedi....different orders. But despite the fact that each order was unique and different, there were still things that tied them all together.

"It is a difficult question to answer, as it can vary from Jedi to Jedi." Kian said shrugging, "But I can tell you what it means for me to be a Jedi and what I think is a common thread that connects us all."

"The desire to do good and to seek out peace and harmony. Some of us do this through philosophy and contemplation.....some through combating the darkness openly. But ultimately, we all seek out peace and to leave the worlds we visit better for us having been there." Kian looked up through the domed roof as he spoke and after a moments pause glanced back at Vun.

"Does that answer your question?" Kian said smiling warmly beneath the antiox mas.

[member="Vun Mulvogg"]​