He felt his nose twitching as though preparing to sneeze, but all that it heralded was tears brimming up. It all felt so callous, to be talked about as though he was not there, to have a handful of strangers deciding whether or not he got to live, or whether he would die. It left him feeling sick and nauseous, this whole thing was so surreal. Like it was happening to someone else, only that someone was him. Disconnected from the majority of his body, he could still feel the stinging trail of warmth against his ever-cold cheeks as the first of the tears dared to spring free.
Theryn had not cried since confronting his past and seeking the statues laid in honour of
Thyrian Hearthfire
back on Midvinter, a pilgrimage which had been hard to make, which he had suffered through until his Uncle lifted him back up and set him on his feet. Before that? Well... Simply put, he wasn't the sort to cry. He hid his emotions well, passed them over for merriment and joy. Here there was little in the way of joy, little at all.
From behind his back he produced a very dog-eared old teddy, as subtly as he could while the others were talking amongst themselves and not looking at him, and pressed it to his chest before hiding it beneath his hands in his lap. He could not afford to show them that he was weak, that he needed comfort in that moment, he had to cease the tears, hide Stuffty, and face what was coming head on.
His lips didn't fully get that memo though, for the more people spoke the wobblier they became. The younger children, who appeared too old to actually be Rhiannon and Arcturus', just a couple of years younger than Theryn himself, seemed to be somewhat on his side. At the very least one argued that he should be permitted to leave and the other wanted to know what he wanted. What Theryn wanted.
He found no real room to give an answer, but it was nice to know that the query had been asked.
All felt utterly hopeless until Darien spoke, as even the blonde boy had been shot down at every turn. Reminded that Theryn could not be permitted to leave by Rhiannon. Which meant...
He could barely focus on anything at all in that moment, his ears rang, his eyes unfocused, and his head span, but through it he could just about make out what Darien was saying. Stand surety? He'd put his own skin on the line to ensure Theryn fell in line? A tiny little hiccup of a gasp escaped him then, eyes darting toward the man, before Rhiannon's response joined the ring. At that the boy's head hung. His cheeks burned, and heart ached, to be outed so publicly. It was almost enough to have him rise and run, to find a way out of this circle of toxicity, but he couldn't. Because that meant death outright.
Just as the God of War wanted.
Theryn had kept his mouth shut up until that point, but Forrest's claim of him being a false God simply because he denied being one left him suddenly swept into indignation.
"That doesn't even make sense" he stated, trying to remain as calm as he could. "To be a false God, surely you must proclaim yourself to be divine? I did not make any such claim. Those centaurs who found me miles from here, and saw fit to bring me barefoot to your door, assumed me Lysius. The men and women in your throne room made the same assumption, but I never did. Is that how justice works here? You kill those just turned men because of what others believe? Would you do this if I were two years younger? If I was a boy of 16, 17? Would you do it to him, or him?" He gestured first to Pharus, then to Zachariah, "Just because you can? I am a person! I'm not a God, I'm not a Monster, I'm Theryn... I'm... I'm just Theryn."
His shoulders shook at this point, with Theryn having reached the point in which all of those emotions he was so diligently fighting to keep back boiled over. He couldn't even look in the direction of Darien, in fact his head hung once more as his internal fire sputtered out.
"My mother won't take another loss, her heart is already so weak. I have so much left to give, so much left to do..." Theryn had expected he would die young, he had been a sickly babe, and a sickly child, and even these days he was far from the strongest. His Father hadn't been that old when he passed, either. But this young?
He fell silent again as Rhiannon and the High Priest spoke. He had to convince them, didn't he, convince himself even, that he was Lysius. It was the only way forward that didn't end in his death. But how did one convince themselves of something that was not true? He held Stuffty tight against his chest, wishing that it was as alive as Darien would have it. That it could speak some words of wisdom. But it couldn't.
"I will do whatever it takes, Adamanthea" he said, voice much more whispered and tender now, as though all of the energy, all of the fight, had wicked away from him. "Whatever tests, or trials. Please... Don't take my life so far from home. I don't know if Papa can find me all this way."
So much for being strong, so much for not pleading for his life. If that really was their decision he'd stand and face it, but he didn't want it to be the outcome. He did not want to die. In fact the mere notion left him utterly terrified.
Where would a Valkyri go if they did not die in the snows of home?