Going Back

[Kay-Larr]

Kay had to go back to Zakuul. She did what she could for Yasha, did what she could in regards to trying to salvage anything between the Mandos and the Silvers. But she wasn't going to take part in any attempt to capture her niece and nephew Kaine.

Her meeting with the Silver Assembly didn't go so well. Instead they just picked her apart, made her rethink just what kind of a person that she was. And it wasn't good. Her confidence in herself fell to such a state that she didn't feel worthy to being married to Veiere. She held him down, soured his reputation amongst his peers and their allies. So on their last meeting she had given him back her wedding rings. Maybe one day she'll earn them, but not now. And if she dies before that, then the children will have them.

Now she began packing her belongings, preparing to leave Mandalore and go back to Zakuul. War was coming to them and she needed to be there. Kay summoned [member="Adenn Kyramud"] to see her before she left. He was her diplomatic link between the two aspects of her life. She thought it fitting to say goodbye to him in person and to explain if need be.

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Adenn had been busy in recent times, what with everything happening around the UCM. As such, he'd neglected his duties elsewhere and to other people, one being [member="Kay Arenais"]. Something that he was apologetic for, but not too much. After all, one had to pick ones fights, because one can't fight everything, usually. As such, he hadn't met with her as often as he could've or even should've, so her asking to meet with him once more came as a surprise, one he readily accepted. Clearing his schedule for the day, he made his way to where she was located, decked out in his usual armor(in sig) and armed with a few less weapons than normal.

He arrived at her room in a few moments due to quick walking and now stood before her door. Sighing to himself, Adenn reached up and wrapped on the door, and then waited for her to answer. He stood there, self assured, hands resting easily behind his back, and just in general curious as to why she called for him specifically.

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

The knocking came as a surprise. Even though Kay was expecting it, the broken silence startled her to some degree. She was in her head too much. There was plenty of plotting and planning going on with her. And there were far too many variables to go along with it.

The future was always moving, always changing. And either she adapted to it or she'd die with the past.

Kay approached the door after closing one of her suitcases and opened it. She bowed her head as she saw that it was [member="Adenn Kyramud"] . What was he in her adopted family tree? Her brother? Sometimes it was so confusing.

She stepped to the side and gestured for him to enter. "Adenn. I'm glad you could come. Please come inside. I won't be taking up too much of your time, so not to worry."

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Adenn nodded in return to Kay's bowed head. Smiling slightly behind his helmet, Adenn entered when she gestured for him to do so. Nodding again to her comment, he chuckled quietly.
"No worries Kay, I have all the time in the world for family."

Standing there, Adenn didn't know if he should sit down or where to go, so instead he stood there, out of way of the door and looked to Kay. Quirking a brow behind his helmet, he silently asked what came next to her.

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay nodded, closing the door behind [member="Adenn Kyramud"] so that they'd have some privacy. As he remained standing, so did she. Her hands clasped in front of her while her eyes seemed to almost peer through his visor to meet his own. Though they didn't really.

"I only wish that I did. Zakuul is threatened and so I must go help them. I didn't quite walk away from them when I came here to help Yasha....I just..." She sighed as she was pulled in so many different directions. So much so that she wasn't even certain or who she was or where she belonged anymore. If she could split herself up into three different people, she would. Trying to please everyone and every aspect of her life was exhausting. It chipped away at her to the core and Kay was quite certain that soon all the chips would fall and she'd be facing great losses. "I've done all that I could for her for now. My time on Zakuul will be limited. I can feel it in my gut. How it will end, I'm not certain. It's gotten a lot of people mad at me, being here with you all have gotten more people mad at me. My reputation is shot to pieces and right now, I'm not so sure that I care anymore. Whatever is my fate, I'll not fight it. I'll only fight to survive. What I'll do should I lose Zakuul? I'm not sure yet. But I thought I'd let you know."

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Taking note that she didn't sit, Adenn wondered what exactly was the purpose for her calling him here. Staying silent, Adenn soon found out. Nodding in understanding, Adenn put a comforting hand on Kay's shoulder. Smiling slightly behind his helmet, Adenn tilted his head towards her in understanding.
"Do what you need to do, don't try to please everyone, it's impossible and will only get you killed. Focus on you, your daughter, and your jetiise husband if you so wish. But you can't help everyone, no one can, no one will. Help yourself and your family, your people, and those you can."

Adenn was passionate about what he said, but calm, with a soft voice and filled with conviction. He knew what it was like to stretch oneself too thin, and he didn't wish that on someone who he considered family. Listening to her continue to speak, Adenn kept his hand on her shoulder. Sighing once she was done, Adenn nodded in sympathy. Then he guided her to the nearby table and had her sit down in the chair there, before he himself dragged the other chair closer to her.
"You've done a lot and for that I thank you, I'm sure so does Yasha. No doubt the people of Zakuul thank you as well, despite everything that's happened thanks to outside forces." Contempt entered his voice then as he thought of the First Order before regaining its prior calm. "What's a reputation but something that people put an over importance on? People can say, think, or try to do whatever they want against another person, but if you don't care what they do, then they can't hurt you. At least not so long as there are those who will protect you, and I can assure you, I am one of those."

"People say caring is sharing, and you've cared more and shared more of yourself than most others ever have or ever will. You say you won't fight fate, I think that's a lie. You've fought fate up until this point, sure there have been hard times, but imagine if when you don't fight what your foes will do. I think they'll tear down everything you loved and cared for simply because it's affiliated with you and they can't bear to see you. You say you'll only fight to survive, again, I think that's a lie. I know you, and I know no matter what you'll thrive. Whether it's creating another group to bring peace to a section of the galaxy, creating peace in a different area, making a company, or something else. You will succeed. Why? Because of who and what you are. The future is always shifting, it's never set in stone, so even if you lose Zakuul, it doesn't mean your followers will lose it."

Adenn leaned forward then, giving Kay a half hug, wrapping an arm around her and squeezing gently.
"Thank you Kay for everything you've done and for letting me know."

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay placed her hand on his. [member="Adenn Kyramud"] was her brother regardless of their different Clans. He was Yasha's step-father and that was what tied them together.

His words of her focusing on her family didn't do anything to have her think of ways of to not stretch herself too thin. Besides Veiere and their children she had other family as well, most especially her Mandalorian family. And both sides were in conflict with one another.

She removed her hand as he moved her to sit down at the table. Kay gazed at the surface of it while Adenn continued, her brows furrowing while she listened, doing her very best to withold her emotions. He wasn't there at her meeting with the Silvers, where her very character was torn to pieces. And why? For her affiliation with the Mandalorians and her lack of not being around to stop events that she wasn't even aware of. Her murder of the Elders of Commenor while Prazutis had her in his control didn't help matters either. Topping that with her escape from Purgatory...

It was as though a lot of people preferred it if she had remained there....

Kay wrapped her arms tightly around Adenn as he hugged her. She was well accustomed to hugging others while they wore armour and this was the first hug that she had recieved in quite some time. Her eyes filled with tears as she shut them tight in a bid to keep them from falling. "All that I've heard lately is people telling me that I'm doing everything wrong. You're the first to say otherwise. And to...thank me for it. That means so much to me." She had felt alone, isolated in her work and her attempts at trying to do what everyone wanted. Her confidence in herself was torn apart, so much so that she chose to step away from her marriage in order to save her husband's reputation among his peers and outsiders.

And nowhere was Adenn, choosing to make her feel better about her decision to go back to Zakuul instead of tearing her down. She gained even more respect for him at that moment.

Kay released him, wiping her cheeks dry with the palms of her hands. "Do you need anything before I go?"

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Smiling slightly behind his helmet, Adenn gently squeezed his hand on her shoulder again. Soon enough they were sitting once more. He took note of her inner turmoil while she looked at the table. Adenn didn't know what had happened, but it seemed that it had affected her in a detrimental way. Making a note to ask her what had happened later, Adenn hugged her shortly thereafter. Sighing while hugging her, Adenn squeezed her gently before responding to what she said first.
"Then those people are wrong and hypocritical." Shaking his head slightly, Adenn smiled slightly with his head tilted while looking at her. "I'm here whenever you need me, to talk, to vent, to tell me about what's happened. I can see that something happened recently that changed you, and not for the better. What happened Kay?" The last question was spoken softly.

Releasing her when she released him, Adenn kept his hands on her shoulders, keeping his eyes on hers, even if it would only be his T-visor gazing at her.
"I only want you to do what you feel is best. To release your pent up emotions, talk with me if you want/need to. I'm here for you Kay, now and until I die, you just need to talk to me and I'll help however I can." Still smiling slightly behind his helmet, Adenn awaited her answer, gently rubbing her shoulders.

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Had she really changed all that much? And here Kay thought that she just might seem...depressed. [member="Adenn Kyramud"] spoke in such a caring tone, his words offering support and encouragement whereas others just tended to pass judgement.

She closed her eyes for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of talking everything out. It was what she used to do with her husband, when the two of them were on the same path. But now they were so far apart in many different ways that there were many that wondered how they could be married at all.

Kay opened her eyes finally, slowly bringing her gaze up to meet Adenn's visor. "I went to Kashyyyk. Veiere suggested that I go to the Silver Assembly and try to clear my name. He was under the assumption that I was fighting against the Jedi when I wasn't..." She took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "I saw a couple of people that I knew. And they all ripped me to shreds, verbally of course. They blamed me for not stopping events that I was unaware of, saying that I was complicit in it. And then they got after me for choosing to get out of Purgatory when the lot of you came to get me out. They tried to pin it all on Mandalorian lawlessness, yet I stood firm that it was a former Commenori Lord that had arrived with a fleet and blockade to ensure that I'd be able to escape. But it was as though they'd rather I just walk back into Purgatory and live out the rest of my days in there. They said that accepting another crown just showed that I was taking the easy road and had a selfish lust for power." She slowly shook her head, her tears threatening to fall again. "That couldn't be further from the truth. I paid for my crimes with serving the people and giving up a private life for over two decades. I had been tortured, held under house arrest by those that caused me to commit murder in the first place, only to struggle at trying to rebuild a world when it's people had asked me to. I have done everything but be selfish. They kept asking me why I went to Mandalor, but I couldn't tell them about why Yasha needed me. I couldn't give them that advantage over her...In the end I just managed to keep myself from being put under Silver Jedi custody. And my husband....I wouldn't be surprised if he was ashamed of me. I'm quite certain that people are judging him for the mere fact that he hasn't divorced me."

She had enemies at every turn now. And that was one of the worst feelings that anyone could have.

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Adenn remained silent, watching her as she closed her eyes, no doubt thinking. If she didn't want to talk, he wouldn't force her, only wish that she would. When she opened her eyes again, Adenn focused fully on her, keeping his eyes on hers and listened as she spoke. At first he was calm, even if it was her meeting with the jettise, Adenn could understand why. Then he heard what they did, and his anger grew, even as his fists subconsciously let go of her shoulders and scrunched up. Sneering behind his helmet at the jetiise, Adenn didn't interrupt Kay as she continued, but his anger still grew.

"The jetiise are scum." Adenn spit out in anger, eyes still staring at Kay's. He was angry, oh so angry for what they did to Kay, and for their hypocrisy. "They sit so high and mighty on their self made pedestals and judge others, but never notice their own short comings." His voice turning as cold as the void, Adenn brought his hands to his sides, even as they scrunched up in anger. "Filthy chakaar, that's what they are." Focusing back on Kay, Adenn forcefully softened his voice. "You can't be blamed for things you didn't know about. Not only that, as long as I have known you, you have never not once taken the easy road, it's always been the hard path. They say the Mandalorians have been lawless, we've defended ourselves and been blamed for the actions of fringe elements. We've been rejected and shut down for diplomacy, for peace. Jedi are supposed to always try for peace, and use war as a last resort. But they just attacked, no deceleration of war, which they should've done according to their laws, no attempts at peace, when we tried peace. Us, the Mando'ade tried peace over the Jedi! I don't blame you for anything they accuse you of, never have and never will. You did what you thought was right, trying to help others, not yourself. That is what's important, not the jumped up opinions of some over bearing jetiise."

"Those jetiise are scum, their words poison, their methods hypocritical. I don't trust them as far as I can throw them, this just makes me feel my thoughts about them are true. Then there's your husband, he may be a good man on his own, but has he even talked to you about any of this, or has he just gone with what the Jedi have been saying? Because if he's ashamed of you and hasn't even spoken to you, then I want to have some words with him, along with the rest of the shabla jetiise." The next part he muttered to himself, so quietly that no one should be able to hear him. "Right before I shove my boot so far up their shebs it comes out the other end."

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

It was easy to feel the anger coming from [member="Adenn Kyramud"] as he spoke. His actions of clenching his fists and drawing them to himself also helped her to draw to that conclusion.

She listened to his words, wiping at her tears as he gave her praise. Only Baron Morcus had given her such praise and he was now 'dead'. She had felt so isolated and alone. Until now. Here was Adenn giving her nothing but support. He was a great brother to have.

"Thank you...I know that you all aren't to blame. I tried to tell them as much, but they wouldn't listen. They just preferred to call you all terrorists and those like me that were unaware or didn't take part were painted as accomplices." Kay lowered her head a little. She had a lot of love for her husband still. Their Force Bond was still intact. "As for my husband...he couldn't give his say at the Assembly, for it'd of been biased. But he did speak to me in private beforehand. He's just...confused about my choices. I know that he wished I went to Kashyyyk instead of Mandalore, especially to escape the Sith. But he didn't realize that my biggest threat lays with the Silver's biggest ally. And Yasha keeps the Sith away from me. Veiere would only be forced to fight. He just...fails to see that supporting people as a whole doesn't include supporting the actions of a few bad eggs. I don't know if I'll ever get through to him about it. But I'll try again...some other time." Now would be far too soon.

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Adenn grimaced and smiled all in one as Kay wiped her tears away. Once more grateful for his helmet, Adenn attempted to reign himself in as he listened to her once more. His half grimace, half smile turned into a full frown at what the jetiise called him and his vode. The chakaar had attacked them first, there was no way Kaine's raid could be tracked back to the UCM, but they still clumped every Mando together when it suited them. In that moment, Adenn swore that he'd show them what a real terrorist was like.

Nodding his head in regards to her statement about her husband, he gently placed a hand back on her shoulder.
"I can't really say that I understand... but I can sympathize with you. For what it's worth, I'm glad you came to Mandalore rather than Kashyyk. I do wish though that your husband would understand who it is that the jetiise have allied themselves with. Those CIS chakaar's are... there aren't enough words that I can use to describe them currently." Sighing again about her last comment, Adenn nodded his head again. "If we blamed everyone for a few bad apples, then there would be no good guys. Then again, I don't think there are any, what with the way everyone's been acting. As for trying to explain to him, do that whenever you want to, however you want to. Do what you need for yourself, you've sacrificed enough for others. Know this though, you need anything at all, contact me and I'll do my best to help you."

Smiling behind his helmet, Adenn stepped forward again to embrace her, trying to cheer her up every so slightly.

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"I hold no love for the Confederacy either. They are evil to me, yet some don't see it. It's hypocritical when the Silvers put the fault on Mandalore for their ties with the Sith Empire, yet the Confederacy is just as bad. The only thing that differs is that one is against slavery while the other promotes it." For Kay that was the only difference that defined them. Yet some of the Jedi tried to convince her that Yasha would have desecrated Commenor on a whim. But they didn't know Yasha like she did, and Kay KNEW that her niece would never do such a thing. But her words fell on deaf ears.

She returned the hug that [member="Adenn Kyramud"] gave her, embracing him tightly once more. "Thank you. I'm not sure of what help I require just yet. Mandalarms has done well in building us more ships. I'll be taking them back with me. As soon as I am able, I will return to help you all wherever I am needed. You have my loyalty and my thanks."

It terrible how things were, that she was split between two families. Poor Lori must be equally as torn, given that she had trained with the Mandalorians for years and yet was a student of her Father's as well. Why couldn't things get easier over time instead of more difficult?

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Chuckling slightly at her latest statement, Adenn nodded in agreement. Then they were hugging, with Adenn being careful not to squeeze her too hard, but still hugging her tightly enough. He had to be extra careful with his tusks on his helmet, but he made it work. Nodding to what she said, Adenn understood the feeling. Knowing the objective, but not knowing what was needed to get there.
"I'm glad some vode were able to help you out." Adenn chuckled again, smiling behind his helmet.

"Return when you can, even if we don't need you, because you'll be missed. Family always is, even if we understand why someone is gone. And don't worry, you have my own loyalty and gratitude. Family looks out for each other, if you need anything, call and I'll do my hardest to come and help."

Even as Kay thought about Lori, Adenn thought about himself and how he'd secluded himself practically, or at least certain parts of himself. Sighing, Adenn broke the hug and took a half step back, thinking hard. Only one person in this motley family had truly seen him, and that person was his wife. Sighing again, Adenn decided against it for now, there would always be later.
"I hope everything goes well on Zakuul and that Lori is doing well."

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay took [member="Adenn Kyramud"] 's hands into her own after their hug was finished. Her expression showed nothing more than gratitude for for his words and his attitude towards both herself and her choices. If only everyone could be so agreeable; her life would be a lot more enjoyable for it. And easier.

But politics tended to get in the way more often than not. It had the ability to tear families apart. Kay knew that well enough first hand.

"I miss you all too. I don't try to stay away. And as for Lori...the poor girl is in as much of a bind as I am. Though she was instructed by Veiere to try to stay out of things during this conflict. You know Lori, she's headstrong and independant. She's had quite a few mentors that have taught her well. She can handle herself far better than I could at her age. That gives me some peace of mind." Of course Kay misses her children. She misses their times together as a family. If Veiere had his way, they'd all live on Kashyyyk at the Jedi Temple or Silver Rest. But neither of the Arenais ladies would be able to handle their lifestyle for long.

"I shouldn't keep you any longer. And the sooner that I go, the sooner I can come back. Look after the others while I'm gone. I'll think of you all often. And hope that this conflict ends soon." Peace was often just a dream. It was a harsh reality that she had come to learn.

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

He squeezed her hands gently as she took his, even as he nodded slightly to her. Adenn nodded again once Kay spoke about Lori, it made sense that she wouldn't know what to do and who to turn to. Along with her father wanting her to stay away from all the fighting.
"Indeed, I'm glad that she's been trained well. If she or you need a place to stay though, just give me a call and I'll arrange something for you."

Adenn nodded again, seeing what Kay was getting at. He wouldn't bother her any longer if she didn't want it. Smiling slightly still behind his helmet, Adenn brought his hands up to her shoulders and gently squeezed.
"I understand full well. I wish you the best in the future, give 'em all hell vode. Of course I'll look after them, I'll look after them all. I am the All Father after all." Winking with a head tilt, Adenn gave Kay another hug before taking 2 steps back and breaking contact with her. "This conflict probably won't end anytime soon if the Jedi continue their hypocrisy, and the CIS keep attacking us for false reasons. That said, it'll end eventually, one way or the other." Adenn took another step back, half waiting for Kay to say something else.

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"She was trained by Jaster of Clan Awaud, and by [member="Kaine Australis"] among others. So yes, she has had the highest degree of training out there." It was just unfortunate with how the future had gone.

Kay smiled a little at his generosity, placing her hand on the cheek of his helmet. "All Father, indeed...you'll always be my protective brother." [member="Adenn Kyramud"] was there for her at Purgatory. He was there for her at Zakuul. He was there for her on Mandalore and their neighbouring worlds. She knew that he'd be there for her elsewhere too. "Thank you."

She hugged him tightly in return. It wasn't so much that she didn't want him around, so much as she didn't want to take up too much of his time. He had others to tend to, surely, like his wife and children.

"The conflict might not end, but perhaps it could simmer down...Maybe they'll all find someone else to target. I'm just glad that Zakuul is too far away."

Kay held her arms against herself, almost as though she was hugging herself. There was more packing and arrangements to be made before she left. "Thanks again, Adenn. And be safe. The Galaxy is a better place wuth you in it."

 

[Adenn Kyramud]

Nodding as he heard a bit of back story in regards to Lori, Adenn was truly surprised that Kain trained her as well. Then again, the man did a lot for family, this was just one more thing. Smirking slightly behind his helmet, Adenn brought a hand up to capture her hand in his own. Squeezing gently, Adenn nodded his head to her, he was protective of family, and she was now his sister.
"Of course, anything for family Kay." Adenn dipped his head towards her, smiling.

Dipping his head in acknowledgement to what she said, Adenn agreed. Knowing his enemies, they no doubt wouldn't relent until something broke. Adenn knew they would break first, for the Mando'ade were as strong as beskar. It just depended on how the Mando'ade would survive and if they'd remain a major power or not for some time. He was now standing at the door, watching her hug herself, Adenn had the feeling that Kay was just small and in need of protection, the sight made his heart bleed. Chuckling again, Adenn spoke again.
"Perhaps not the galaxy, I tend to break too much of it for that. But my family will be better, and I'll do my best to make sure they are in a better place at all times."

The door opened behind him and Adenn stepped out. Bringing two fingers up to his brow, Adenn gave Kay a last half mock, half loving salute before turning, allowing the door to shut as he walked away. Things may change, but family was always key to him, it didn't matter where, when, or why, he would defend them. Sadly, he had a feeling he'd have to defend Kay one day soon, along with his entire family. Face hardening with resolve, Adenn marched purposefully down the hallway, down towards more work and more killing, all in the name of family.

[member="Kay Arenais"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay bowed her head to [member="Adenn Kyramud"] as he stepped out the door. "Good journeys..."

And then he was gone. She closed the door behind him and then took in a deep breath, letting it out in a bit of a huff. It was too bad that politics got in the way of her having her own husband and children that close to her. Each of them were stubborn and set in their own ways. It was Veiere that got her to get in touch with her Mandalorian family after the fall of Ra. So in some small way she had blamed him for it all. But only in the kind of way that'd be her teasing him. Kay did all of the investing in her Mandalorian family in much the same way that Veiere did with the Jedi.

Perhaps some day in the future they'd be able to coexist peacefully together.

Maybe.

~ END THREAD ~​