I've played quite a bit of Dungeons & Dragons (3.5, 4.e and 5.e), Rogue Trader, and Pathfinder, so I think I have a few funny stories to share.
My very first session was in 4.e D&D. We did not understand anything, so it was just me and my friend who was the GM. I played a Dragonborn Fighter, but I forgot all my gear and stuff. I was attacked by a town guard for seemingly no reason and managed to arm myself as I defeated them (Go breath attack!). It didn't go on as we figured out that we did not know what we were doing.
My first session in 3.5 edition.
I played a monk and my friend was a fighter with a trident. At the end of the dungeon, we ended up chasing the villain up on the top of a cliff where the climactic battle was supposed to commence. After a pretty heavy fight, my fighter friend rolls a critical hit with his trident, but the enemy is still alive. It's my turn next, so I roll to see if I can jump over my friend and fly-kick the enemy. Nat 20 acrobatics, nat 20 attack, full damage on hit. This is what we decided would happen:
The fighter thrusts his forked weapon deep into the death knight's abdomen, making him howl and thrash in agony as the barbs tear his flesh. Behind comes the monk, and he kicks the back of the trident in order to send it deeper into their foe's guts. However, misjudging his strength, the monk kicks the fighter in his entirety THROUGH the Death Knight as he is dispersed in a mist of bloody ash.
Good times, good times.
Story from Pathfinder:
My party consisted of a half-elf druid with two bear cubs, a gnome alchemist, and me, a human cavalier. We had found a bandit camp and were tasked with chasing them away. However, we also found that they were too many for us to handle in a straight up fight. So, we decided to sneak in and torch their camp. I manage to do some surveillance simply by convincing everyone I'm a new addition to the band (Charisma for days!) and find out where the big-wig bandits are. I decide to torch their tent, but end up not getting past their guard. So instead, I fill a bucket with oil, light it and say
"OH MY GOD, SOMEONE SET YOU ON FIRE!" Before throwing the bucket of flaming lamp oil in his face then hitting him with my sword.
As he screams and rolls around on the ground in agony, four more guys come out of the tent. I'm standing there with my sword in hand, a flaming bucket, and a burning man at my feet. So, I decide to try a bluff and tell them "Some adventurer set him on fire, he ran that way!" and point off into the centre of the camp. Three of the four buy it. The last one did not. So, I try one more time "Did you hear that? I better go check it out." and as I turn my back on him, I hear his sword unsheathe. The fight was intense, but I got extra points for creative use of bluff and diplomacy.
Another from Pathfinder:
I play a half-elf inquisitor called Dominiq who is the designated party leader. In the group is his sister Lupa (feint-based rogue), Ragnar (Barbarian/sorcerer hybrid class), and a crafting-based Arcanist with some multiclassing, named Elros. The two latter were actually hired by Dominiq, but they became friends over the course of their adventure. This was also a mythic campaign, so everything was a bit hyped up.
Their land is in a state of constant strife between guilds and the feudal lords aligned with them. So, in order to support our guild, we help in the takeover of a city. Our part in this takeover was to capture a prison and free the prisoners in order to sow chaos. Among the prisoners would be captured soldiers loyal to out guild. First, Elros tries to spy on the prison tower by acting like he's terribly interested in the architecture. Which worked for a little bit, but he crit-failed and had to be bailed. So Lupa goes over and pretends Elros is her mentally ill grandfather (Elros is an elf). No doubt, when we come back, security is heightened, but we manage to capture the tower.
At the end, we find the prison warden, who had not participated in the battle, sitting in his office. He takes out a pipe, some beer, and offers it to Dominiq who will place his demands. After Dominiq turns down the pipe and the beer, the warden (Nephew of the current Lord) smokes his pipe and drinks his beer as a sign of dominance over my inquisitor. So, Dominiq takes the beer and pours it over the pipe, putting it out and symbolically extinguishing the warden's position.
In the end, we put the warden in the lowest dungeon with a candle and a bottle of fine wine just outside his reach so that he would always be reminded of the life he had before he was put in chains.
... I swear, I was a good-aligned character.
And I might pop in with a few more stories over time.
