Kana Truden
Wandering Healer
The blazing kiss of the twin suns burned against her skin as her feet shuffled through the dust towards the abandoned homestead with shaken vigor. It had been years since Corvus had disappeared and the traces of her whereabouts had long since been lost to the galaxy as a whole. Kana had given up her quest to find her lost friend, long since declaring the chase a hopeless endeavour that would without a doubt end with even more misery on her behalf. She knew now that despite all that had happened, the memories, the laughs, the mistakes and faults, nothing would bring her friend back no matter how hard she had wished for it.
From the part where Kana had first learned to utilize a force jump to the part where Corvus’ help had aided the blonde jedi with her crippling anxiety. From the fact that Corvus had been the first real friend that Kana had ever had to the fact that it had also been the first friend whose trust she had ever actively betrayed and been forgiven for. They had experienced several spectra of emotion over the course of their years together and it had all come to an abrupt halt the second their connection was severed and the Corellian Jedi had seemingly just upped and disappeared. It had taken a lot out of Kana not to put the blame on herself and as time had passed she began to shift it more and more over to the opposite side of the table. It wasn’t Kana’s fault that Corvus had left, it wasn’t Kana’s fault that Corvus had decided to abandon her when she needed her the most. Kana had done her time, waited for news in between the errands she had run for [member="Avalore Eden"], and not once had she been pleasantly surprised.
Her walking came to a halt by the entrance to the squalid bowl of sand that her friend had once called her home. Kana’s lips thinned and she gave the knight following her a quick look to seek his permission to enter the building. A warm breeze caught the locks of her hair and twisted them across her forehead in tense silence while the knight took a step closer and gave her a subtle nod of affirmation that she was free to roam. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath to stabilize herself. This was the moment she had held off for as long as she could, the part where she buried her metaphorical axe and let the hopelessness go.
One careful step was followed by another as she entered the broken home. Shaky breaths burst through the blonde’s nose like a poorly oscillating fan. There were signs all around that she was not the only one who had been here, and knowing those who followed in the Cult of Raaf she wouldn’t be the last. Her hands balled into fists and locked themselves tight to expend the tension that had built up within her. Fingers uncurled themselves in rapid intervals to let it all go. She had never seen this place before, she had been invited but never seen it for herself and now that she was here it felt like an accurate description of all that Kana was left with: a deep feeling of remorse, regret and guilt that wasn’t hers to carry anymore.
The walls were as worn out as the blonde’s conscience was while the floors crunched like the stones on her back. People had left gifts in case Corvus returned, but none of them had been touched. Not even once. The shadows weaved a web of uncertainty the further down the home that Kana went with each step bringing back the memories that she tried not to dwell on out of hope that they still a figment of significance at this point. The master bedroom was empty, the living area as well. The workshop and the guest room looked as deserted as all other rooms did. The only demons that threatened to jump at Kana in the shadows were those of her own making at this point.
Stepping into the master bedroom once more Kana approached the bed to let her finger sweep through the thin layer of dust that had come to form an extra layer of dirt to cover above the unkempt sheets. There was nothing left of her friend anymore, not even in the place that she would have called her own home.
“It’s just me.” Kana repeated the words that had plagued her since her recuperation within the Circle of Healers. “I am the only one left.”
“Kian.” She started the list as her hand grabbed a hold of a stray rock that had fallen from the walls a long time ago. “Gone. Disappeared without a trace, just like you.”
“Seraphina.” She felt her hand’s grasp around the stone grow tense. It dug into the palm of her hand and caused her no small amount of discomfort. “Gone. Disappeared without a trace, just like you.”
The grip on the stone began to shake and shiver as the stone seemed to dig ever deeper into the palm of her hand.
“And then there is you.” She almost hissed. “My friend, my master.” The rock was thrown against the wall in a fit of anger. “I needed you! I trusted you.” Kana’s vision grew blurry with streams of warmth that proceeded to pour down her cheeks. “You said that the only one I had to forgive was myself, and you know what?” The woman sniffled. “I am.”
“I forgive myself for believing my best friend wouldn’t run away from her duties without warning,”
“I forgive myself for believing my best friend would have my back no matter what,”
“And I forgive you for the pain you've caused me.”
“We are through you and I. It’s the only way for me to find the happiness that I deserve, the happiness that I know now that I can achieve as long as I let the past lie where it needs to be laid to rest.”
“I hope you lived your life to the extent you desired.” Kana bowed her head in a final goodbye to the memories that she had. “It took me forty years to realize I deserved the same.”
The thud of her boots echoed through the master bedroom one last time as she made her way towards the exit with her escort. It was time to head back to Sulon, to a new life and new experiences.
The past was the past. She knew that now. It was best to let it rest.
From the part where Kana had first learned to utilize a force jump to the part where Corvus’ help had aided the blonde jedi with her crippling anxiety. From the fact that Corvus had been the first real friend that Kana had ever had to the fact that it had also been the first friend whose trust she had ever actively betrayed and been forgiven for. They had experienced several spectra of emotion over the course of their years together and it had all come to an abrupt halt the second their connection was severed and the Corellian Jedi had seemingly just upped and disappeared. It had taken a lot out of Kana not to put the blame on herself and as time had passed she began to shift it more and more over to the opposite side of the table. It wasn’t Kana’s fault that Corvus had left, it wasn’t Kana’s fault that Corvus had decided to abandon her when she needed her the most. Kana had done her time, waited for news in between the errands she had run for [member="Avalore Eden"], and not once had she been pleasantly surprised.
Her walking came to a halt by the entrance to the squalid bowl of sand that her friend had once called her home. Kana’s lips thinned and she gave the knight following her a quick look to seek his permission to enter the building. A warm breeze caught the locks of her hair and twisted them across her forehead in tense silence while the knight took a step closer and gave her a subtle nod of affirmation that she was free to roam. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath to stabilize herself. This was the moment she had held off for as long as she could, the part where she buried her metaphorical axe and let the hopelessness go.
One careful step was followed by another as she entered the broken home. Shaky breaths burst through the blonde’s nose like a poorly oscillating fan. There were signs all around that she was not the only one who had been here, and knowing those who followed in the Cult of Raaf she wouldn’t be the last. Her hands balled into fists and locked themselves tight to expend the tension that had built up within her. Fingers uncurled themselves in rapid intervals to let it all go. She had never seen this place before, she had been invited but never seen it for herself and now that she was here it felt like an accurate description of all that Kana was left with: a deep feeling of remorse, regret and guilt that wasn’t hers to carry anymore.
The walls were as worn out as the blonde’s conscience was while the floors crunched like the stones on her back. People had left gifts in case Corvus returned, but none of them had been touched. Not even once. The shadows weaved a web of uncertainty the further down the home that Kana went with each step bringing back the memories that she tried not to dwell on out of hope that they still a figment of significance at this point. The master bedroom was empty, the living area as well. The workshop and the guest room looked as deserted as all other rooms did. The only demons that threatened to jump at Kana in the shadows were those of her own making at this point.
Stepping into the master bedroom once more Kana approached the bed to let her finger sweep through the thin layer of dust that had come to form an extra layer of dirt to cover above the unkempt sheets. There was nothing left of her friend anymore, not even in the place that she would have called her own home.
“It’s just me.” Kana repeated the words that had plagued her since her recuperation within the Circle of Healers. “I am the only one left.”
“Kian.” She started the list as her hand grabbed a hold of a stray rock that had fallen from the walls a long time ago. “Gone. Disappeared without a trace, just like you.”
“Seraphina.” She felt her hand’s grasp around the stone grow tense. It dug into the palm of her hand and caused her no small amount of discomfort. “Gone. Disappeared without a trace, just like you.”
The grip on the stone began to shake and shiver as the stone seemed to dig ever deeper into the palm of her hand.
“And then there is you.” She almost hissed. “My friend, my master.” The rock was thrown against the wall in a fit of anger. “I needed you! I trusted you.” Kana’s vision grew blurry with streams of warmth that proceeded to pour down her cheeks. “You said that the only one I had to forgive was myself, and you know what?” The woman sniffled. “I am.”
“I forgive myself for believing my best friend wouldn’t run away from her duties without warning,”
“I forgive myself for believing my best friend would have my back no matter what,”
“And I forgive you for the pain you've caused me.”
“We are through you and I. It’s the only way for me to find the happiness that I deserve, the happiness that I know now that I can achieve as long as I let the past lie where it needs to be laid to rest.”
“I hope you lived your life to the extent you desired.” Kana bowed her head in a final goodbye to the memories that she had. “It took me forty years to realize I deserved the same.”
The thud of her boots echoed through the master bedroom one last time as she made her way towards the exit with her escort. It was time to head back to Sulon, to a new life and new experiences.
The past was the past. She knew that now. It was best to let it rest.