Private Guarding the Shadows

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

He was Meditating.

Or at least he knew he was. It looked like Connel was destroying training droids, viciously. In reality, the big guy was honing his skills practicing his “Shield Kata.” He looked happy, one of the few times he had since long before being put in a bacta tank (if you don’t know by now, the “why” go look it up). He was finally feeling like himself again, and he felt alive. He was in control of his life, and he was happy. He felt like a warrior, ready to take on the galaxy. That was the problem…

… he was enjoying this a little too much.

A Holovid projector was playing and replaying the broadcast of his “Bounty”, His shield flying left and right, either bifurcating heavy bags or knocking droids down. His new weapon, an interesting looking “blaster” of all things firing on the targets that he set up throughout the room. The weapon completely disintegrated those reticles. He made his way out of the room, leaving nothing but a few smoldering debris behind. He was pleased with his work, knowing that he had successfully completed the job. He was one step closer to achieving his goal. Connel would return in a moment, not only to clean up, but repair any of the droids he could.

Right now, he was thirsty.

Connel could easily sense, as well as see the concern around him. It was disheartening, but he was tired of apologizng for it, or trying to be something he thought that they wanted him to be. If others here didn't like him, that was on them. They couldn't change the fact that he was a Jedi.

Right?

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"Everything alright?" Valery asked as soon as Connel Vanagor stepped out of the training room. Others had told her that he was in there for a more intense training session than the usual Jedi routine, so she decided to check it out. Not because she was worried or wanted to stop him, but because it was important for a leader to talk to people and understand them. Connel wasn't a Jedi she knew overly well, so perhaps this was a chance to change it.

Looking passed him, she saw the smoldering remains of a droid and perked a brow. She had cut apart training droids frequently as well, but it didn't always look like complete slaughter.

"I heard you were training, so I wanted to check in on you."

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

Master Noble? This is an unexpected pleasure.

The voice was dark, hardened, feral almost.

… he was enjoying this a little too much. However the mannerisms in him were “changing” almost from a warrior who wanted nothing more than his next conquest to the awkward kid she had met long ago at Caltin’s home. Especially since he noticed the eyebrow and her judging him. He did not like that, but as he looked back to see the smashed droid with almost a shock in his eyes, he simply said.

Sorry about the droid… I’ll get that replaced. I wanted more time with my new shield and I turned up the “danger” setting.

The holovid was still playing the broadcast and it was clear that there was something to the look on his face but he was doing his best to hide it. The tone and feel of the change in his voice was clearly betraying him though.

I’m okay though, thanks for asking. Why? What did Master Katarine Ryiah say? Mentally kicking himself for bringing Kat’s name up, he was suddenly remembering her concern she expressed, not to mention the looks he was getting from others as of late. There was still that dark presence nearby that he could not seem to shake.

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"Master Ryiah didn't say anything, I haven't spoken to her." Valery remained calm and briefly looked passed him again, to the smoking pile of metal that had once been a training droid. Her ears and eyes then picked up on the broadcast, and slowly gears inside her mind began to turn.

Was that what had him on edge?

"Don't worry about the droid. I've broken many myself and it's not uncommon for Jedi to damage equipment in training. But more important is the reason why." Unexperienced students or people who tried new abilities for the first time often caused damage because they lacked control. Training, making mistakes, and breaking things were how they learned.

But that wasn't the case for Connel.

"Is this about the broadcast?"

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

The dark, aggressive manner that he was initially exhibiting was gone. Now there was a confused, awkward young man she had known, if only little. Whatever it was, there was a definitive change in him, almost as if he was a different person entirely, unaware of another.

I… no… that is wrong of me to accept. I own what happened, I will make recompense.

It was what he was raised to do, and then … the... he got wind of the broadcast. The voice, chilling and dark… it was him… but how? He… was even more lost now th… wait how did he get here?

I… I don’t know what that is about....

Maybe things were happening to him? No, no, that's crazy. There was no way he was going to talk about this with the Grandmaster, he would be confined to the Infirmary. No, he…

The nightmares…

That let slip unintentionally… The nightmares he had been having,,, were they connected?

I’m… I’m fine, really. Sorry to waste your time. I’m… I’ll be fine…

He had to talk to Mother about this, Father would just be disappointed in him… he had no friends to go to… no… Mother it is… she’s the only one who cared.

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"Nightmares?" Valery asked curiously, her voice as calm as it was before and her body language hadn't changed. She had noticed the shift in his demeanor, of course, but she didn't want to make him feel too pressured. She only wanted him to know that she was here to listen and that she had more than enough time to help him if she could.

It was up to him to open up.

"Look, it's alright if that broadcast is unsettling to you, or if something else is going on. But it might help to talk about it, so we might be able to help or offer advice." Valery offered a warm smile and briefly looked around, making sure others weren't listening in on their conversation.

This seemed hard enough already, so privacy was a must.

"If you'd like, we could go somewhere quieter and I could make you some tea while we talk?"

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

Connel’s eyes found themselves closing in embarrassment when she asked him about the nightmares. What was there to say? They were destructive to his inner peace, his psyche, his very being and he could not remember or recall even the smallest possible detail. Suddenly his demeanor changed again as he mumbled.

Why is it that no one ever wants to talk to me unless something is wrong with me?. As the words mumbled out of his mouth, his demeanor changed back to the Connel she knew and he sighed.

I’m not upset about that broadcast, it’s obvious someone out there has it in for me and a Shiido is posing as me, or some kind of shapeshifter. It… it is the only thing that makes sense, like this presence that is always nearby… I’ve said too mu…

She offered to sit and talk with him. It was clear that he believed that this was not a request, after all who ever wanted to talk to him if it wasn’t official business, right?

Lead the way.

This was more and more proof that he was not meant for the line of work that he was in. That Connel was never one to look for greatness or anything like that, but he wanted to do something that meant something and this wasn’t it. Clearly others were seeing it. He felt that he had wasted his time and that his life was going nowhere. He had to find something else that would give his life purpose and make him feel fulfilled. He was determined to make a positive change in his life.

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"We'll figure something out," Valery assured him with a warm smile. She could tell that he was troubled, not just over this broadcast and its implications, but the way he felt in general. If he felt unseen or unheard, she wanted to do her best to help with that as well, for as much as she could.

Every Jedi should feel welcomed, at home, and at ease.

"This way." Valery led him through the halls of the Temple until they reached the turbolift that went up to the Council Chambers. It was guarded but both guards stepped aside without a word as soon as they saw Valery. The two Jedi then made their way up, and only after she reached the chambers, she held her hand up to one of the seats, offering him a chance to sit down if he wanted.

"This is better," Valery began as she turned to face him, "I wanted to give you a chance to speak freely, so I can help you, and I'd rather not have people overhear when it's none of their business."

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

Right behind you. As the words left his mouth, he quietly roamed the halls behind her. There was little to say at the moment, she had probably heard it al, they all probably had. So at least he could stand on his own two feet this time.

Thank you. He said, sheepishly taking a seat. His guard was still up, yes, but that was more “anxiety” than anything. He believed what “Aunty Val” as he once called her, was telling him when she wanted to be able to give him a private forum.

Sitting there for a moment, he did not want to be just a simple grump, that was father’s thing… Thanks a lot Aunt Ala Quin , never met you and you’re getting him to use a tired old rib. With a deeply exaggerated exhale, Connel looked up, resolved in why he was here. For the past few months… ever since just before Master @Rhen Qel-Droma’s class about control, ironically, I’ve felt this… this presence, a dark one. Not like if I am down the hall from a Sith or something, but I cannot seem to figure out what it is. It is like… when I “disappeared”... well I didn’t. I was face to face with a Sith Lord. He wiped me out, tore me apart… I ended up in a bacta tank for months. It felt oddly good to talk about it. Even if he didn’t know that she already knew about this.

I got out of it, with all of these weird “implants” from Master Matsu Ike , they’re enhancing, empowering. It’s weird, but I almost feel like they should be making me feel arrogant or something, but they don’t. I learned about them, I trained with them and got myself back out there. Anyway, I guess that class is where it started, I started feeling like a dark presence was nearby. Ready to hit when my guard was down. At first I thought it was the cause of my initial injuries, Darth Kizash , but I’m not so sure anymore.

He was glum “yesterday”, “today” he is more or less just confused. Lately I have been getting these “blackouts”. Like I lose these random points of time, and can’t remember them. Just like that droid, I don’t remember anything about even being there, let alone wrecking that thing… or that broadcast. Just like these nightmares I keep having. Another resolved exhale. He was clearly feeling good to get this all out, but the question is why his guard was still up.

I just don’t get it. I mean, I know that you don’t normally remember every detail of your dreams, good or bad, but I can’t remember anything. I wake up, usually in the kitchens, drenched in sweat and I feel like I had just been through a war. He then laughed out of nowhere. Maybe I am as crazy as people think. Some great “Jedi” I turned out to be… He was still wanting to laugh, judging by his mood, but there was a tinge of disappointment.

Sorry about that, Master Noble. I shouldn't speak idly. I just feel less and less like this line of work is for me... I mean... I just called it "a line of work..." He shrugged. There, the cards were on the table. He laughed again.

Man... I just opened the floodgates, didn't I?

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"You did," Valery finally said when he asked her if he had opened the floodgates, "But that's a good thing." She had listened intently to everything he said, and her mind was already starting to theorize what it could be, and how she could help him. Throughout her years of being a Jedi, she had seen a lot of different cases in the aftermath of battles, so she hoped her experience would be able to give him a path forward.

Clearly, he was feeling somewhat stuck, or at least uncertain.

"I don't think you're crazy at all. Whatever's going on is obviously connected to your battle with this Sith Lord." She paused, hummed in thought, then continued, "You mentioned being in a bacta tank for months, so the injuries were physical, but do you recall if he attacked your mind as well?" She waited for him to answer but she was going to clarify.

"As Jedi, we avoid messing too much with people's minds or with someone's free will. The Sith do not restrain themselves, and they can leave lasting marks, control your mind, or even possess you completely." She wasn't going to assume one of these things had happened yet, but they seemed reasonable. He was feeling this darkness and the loss of memory could suggest that something had been done to his mind.

"Perhaps the answers you seek are waiting deeper within."

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

The questions about attacking his mind, and “trying to help him” suddenly brought on anxiety. Connel hated infirmaries. He always felt like he was about to be restrained and put in a padded room. This feeling he was getting now was not anything of Valery’s doing, it was just that bad habit of it. The only good thing about this is that Connel was well aware of it.

I’m not going to lie… who says that? So cliche’. I am not comfortable with anyone entering my mind.. He said sheepishly. Again, there was nothing she had done, but this was actually something fairly recent. Uncle Th… His Highness King Thurion Heavenshield had done so, at my acceptance of course, and there was something… odd… about it. Shaking his head, It’s not that I don’t trust anyone… but… well… I don’t know who I would trust with it other than my family.

He stopped himself short of taking a shot at the fact that he had no friends in the Galactic Alliance, sure there was @Ryanna mina, but she was “family” too.

It was clear though that she wanted to do something he didn’t want to do, so it was either go this route, or continue suffering on his own. He was tired of suffering, but wasn’t sure whatever this was, was the way. He took a deep breath and made up his mind. He had to do this, no matter what the consequences. He had to be brave and face whatever was coming.

I don’t remember him do… he did try but I blocked him… a trick my father taught me… “Go Dad”, heh.. There was that attempted invasion, but that was more to set up his assault. I think it was more to keep me distracted anyway.

Almost as if on cue, he could feel the presence nearby, only this time, it felt… “aggressive”, “angry”... looking around, almost instinctively reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there, he was not going down without a fight. Then suddenly, his demeanor, his appearance, the look in his eye changed. This was “Connel” in appearance only, the mannerisms were of someone else entirely. Master Valery Noble… do not be alarmed… I am no threat… I have no intentions of harming you, or anyone here… even that puny other side of me… I only wish you would have let me come out on my own and not pushed that little wuss into it. A dark, sinister smirk almost contradicts what “he” just said, but there was a sense of truth to the words… so which was the lie? Or was there one?

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery nodded, "I'm not asking for someone to go into your mind, but what you're telling me makes it sound like something was done to your mind." He mentioned having blocked an attempt, so perhaps he had successfully kept his enemy out, but the Dark Side was a sinister thing. It was possible that he had blocked the Sith's initial attempts, only for his defenses to be broken without realizing it.

It'd be a way for the Sith to do far more damage long-term, both to Connel himself and to the people around him. But this was only a theory. One among others that she'd need to test further.

Helping him with such a problem was important.

"Maybe we can-" Valery paused mid-sentence when she felt a sudden tremor in the Force. She looked at him with a careful eye and great concern, and it only grew as a darker feeling swept over her. Then he spoke, and she understood something terrible was happening.

"Who are you?" Valery demanded as she stood more cautiously than before. Ready to draw a weapon or defend herself if he became aggressive.

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

The question brought a smirk to “Connel”’s face. A small scoff and a head shake soon followed. There was almost an indignant disbelief in the question itself, as if it was oblivious to the truth, but it was clearly that of someone who wanted what they were looking for, the truth.

Oh come now, Auntie Val. We may not have been around each other much over the past few years, but I am still the “Connel” you met that day you, your husband and your kids came to visit Mother and Father. What I said is true. I am Jedi and have no designs on fighting. His smile was still sinister, but it was actually genuine now. As if almost regretful. Those were good days. I was able to be a kid and not burdened with living up to a legacy. Holding up a hand he continued. I am not reflecting negatively on your family, Aris and Vera have grown to be great, and well balanced.

Then the anger arose again as he looked in the mirror, as if disgusted by what he saw. He closed his eyes and stepped forward verbally. His heart raced as he opened his eyes and faced the unknown. He had to trust in himself and take the plunge.

I was never allowed to do that. Though he remained calm and stoic, there was a rage building, one that was almost… inward. His surface thoughts were overflowing. Almost as if this was not what it was appearing to be. He was still quietly sitting there, but there was something almost transmorphic to this. He could feel something inside of him, something he had been suppressing for too long. He was ready to act. He was ready to take the plunge. Whatever you have seen of “me” was not real. Not me. He was ready to show the world who he really was. He was ready to take control of his own life. He was ready to take back control.

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"Then what is the real you?" Valery asked him, choosing not to discuss her family or focus on anything else. She wanted answers — she wanted to know what was happening and what she was feeling. Why had he suddenly changed so much, and what really sparked it? For all she knew, her theories about a Sith taking him over were true, and all of this was just an attempt to manipulate her thinking that this was the real him.

But maybe it was.

"If this is the real you, and you're a Jedi, then why do I feel all this anger?" Valery continued, "Why do I feel a rage rising inside your heart, Connel?" Her voice remained calm, hoping he'd want to talk, rather than shut down or get angry over her questions. Thus far, he had already opened up quite a lot, but she didn't want to ruin that.

"And why did it all start after you fought that Sith?"

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

She was angry, and no doubt defensive because he had mentioned her family. This was not at all unexpected and while he did not regret bringing them up, he learned never to regret anything from Mother, he knew not to press that matter. The time for silliness and games were over. He needed to focus on the task at hand and take care of business. He needed to be serious and make decisions with a clear mind. He had to be the adult in the room. Putting his hands on his knees, and doing his best to show absolutely no signs of aggression(though he was still clearly raging, as she had observed), he looked up at her with a resolve that could be compared to his father.

Have you ever watched yourself in a holovid and wondered something like “Why did I do that?” Maybe it was an old holovid you look back on of your younger self and can laugh at, maybe it is something silly, you just watch and realize “what’s done is done”... His smile was gone, the stern, powerful look was still there though, he was clearly his father’s son in this case. That is much of what I have had to live through for much of my life.

Taking a deep breath, there was a “softer” feeling to his seating, but this was still not the Connel that she had known up to now, this was still the look of someone else. I get it. You think that I am some manifestation of the Dark Side of the Force, and in all honesty, I am in many respects. After all, my mother was a Sith Lord until she gave it all up. However, what you see, is who I am.

There was still anger there, at the thought of the memories he was accessing at this point. It was all coming together.

I am sorry to have mentioned your family, but I brought them up to help you see my side of this. Another breath, and he was mouthing the words to the Jedi Code…

• “There is no emotion, there is peace
• There is no ignorance, there is knowledge
• There is no passion, there is serenity
• There is no chaos, there is harmony
• There is no death, there is the Force

Another deep breath and he was calm, stoic, and stern.

I have watched this… “construct” of whatever misinterpretation of my father’s legacy as a Jedi is… all of my inner fears when I was a kid manifested into this… “mistake”... I’m Shaking his head in aggravation, but not out of aggression, but not wanting to be aggressive.

Yes, I am still angry. He met her gave not as a sinister being, but as someone broken free of captors. Have you ever had someone pick your brain and play? Pull you out, stuff something else in. Do you know what it's like to be unmade? I was. I watched as this… “construct” acted on fears I had moved on from.

Shaking his head, as he looked down again, not out of anything manipulative or regretful but recalling memories. Or at least thought I did. It wasn’t until that Sith bifurcated several parts of this body from me that I was able to do something about it. When Master Matsu Ike made arrangements for all of these implants in me, I woke up. Sucking on his gumline.

I get that this all seems convenient, even suspicious to you, I do, and as I said, I am angry, but I have been trapped in my own mind for so long. At first, yes, I did think something was going on, but I realized what was happening quickly. Right after the "control" class that sat in on for Master Qel-Droma. That was a clear memory that wa sstarting to piece things together for him.

Before then, I was raging, but since then I’ve been trying to steer “the other me” I guess you could say into the way I am. I mean come on… I can’t even pick up a lightsaber because of “the other me”... I just want to get to where I was, or where I wanted to be. “He” sees me and thinks I’m some Sith ready to attack him. I’m not… I know who "he" is and I know who I am. I am Connel Aric Vanagor... and I will admit, before I started talking to you, I was ready to say "not him", but he is too. I just want to get "us" together. "He" is running from it... trying to be something he's not.

There was still anger there, but there was also truth in his voice and his eyes. There was more to his comment about "trying to be something he's not" but there was nothing sinister in those words either. There was no sense of regret or any types of feelings, but there was still that resolve. If you don’t believe me, Master Noble… I’ll open my mind to you or anyone you want… but I’m finally out and in control… I’m not giving that up. That wasn’t a threat, or any kind of false macho attitude, it was someone who was almost relieved.

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery shook her head gently, her expression still calm, "I'm not angry that you mentioned my family. I just prefer to keep them out of these things." Kahlil and her oldest were perhaps an exception at times because they were Jedi, but she didn't want to bring the little ones into serious discussions.

It was the protective side of her.

"As for you," Valery continued when he finished speaking, "I'm not interested in going inside your mind, not unless we both agree that it's necessary to help for whatever reason. What's important to me is that all Jedi feel in control of themselves, their lives, and their feelings." Which, up until just now, did not seem to be the case for him. He shifted between this "Him" and the Connel she was talking to now.

But already, she felt at least a hint of relief.

"I will admit, this isn't something I've encountered before, so I don't have the perfect answers to everything. But... I want to help you," Valery offered with a warm smile, "You mentioned that you want to bring yourself and him together, but that he's running for it, correct?"

"Do you think we can find a way to get him to stop running?"

Connel Vanagor ​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

Though he didn’t show it, a part of this visage of Connel felt “talked down to”. He knew full well that she was trying to and wanting to help but still there was something about it all, he couldn’t explain it. This wasn’t her fault at all, but it was something that raised his guard up

Right now, I would be satisfied with “him” being that little voice in my head as I am sure I was in his. He was finally free of the prison of the mind, and there was no way he was going back. Not without a fight. If you will give me a moment, I can contact my mother and father, if my father doesn’t know how to deal with this, my mother was a Sith Lordess for a long time, I’m sure she at least knows a direction that can be taken.

Taking a deep breath, Pressing a couple of buttons on his commlink and putting it into his ear shifted something… the “other side” of him came out briefly…. What the? What is going on? Mother? No I did… I’m sorry, I will call you back. Ripping it out of his ear in a panic this “other” Connel looked around mouthing the words “it’s happening again…”.

How am I supposed to trust others when no one will trust me? Another breath, and he was shifting yet again in some insane inner turmoil. The side of Connel to which Val had just been speaking to before the outburst looked up at her with a scoff.

Did that look as weird as it feels? Shaking his head in aggravation, he looked down at his comm-link again and put it back in his ear.

Hello Mother. Yeah, I’m sorry about that… I…I have a lot to explain… will you be able to meet… you and father… if it is needed? Something is going on with me that I am not sure… I am talking with Master Noble right now and she wants to help. Okay… Okay… yes Ma’am… I will… I promise… I do… “never make a promise you don’t intend to keep” he smiled a very sentimental smile as if missing this type of conversation. Yes Ma’am. I will. I love you. Bye.

Pulling the comm-link out of his ear, he wiped his eyes for a moment with a smile that he hadn’t given in a long time before looking up. I am sorry about that. I wanted to make sure that they knew about what was going on. My father is in the middle of building an advanced Enclave so I was not sure if they would be available, but they are coming now. She says "hi" by the way. Pulling out a handkerchief and wiping his face to hide the snort, he looked up again.

I don’t know what the future holds… but I know I don’t have it in me to follow the whole “Guardian” arch… I mean… I mean… I’m qualified in weapons, and security… but… I’m not that social…

Meeting her gaze quizzically. Does that make sense?

Spoiler: PERSONAL EFFECTS

X-wing
Combat Shield
Upgraded Shield
Lightblaster
"Brad"
Armor/Gear
Vambraces

Spoiler: Implants

Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
Muscle enhancements.
Hemo enhancements for blood flow
Hawkeye implants for eyes
Advanced Medical Implant
Scentzy

 

[Connel Vanagor]

er wrong thread

 

[Valery Noble]

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery listened intently as Connel shifted between the different parts of himself, her fiery gaze softening with understanding. His struggle was palpable, a battle between two sides of him that she could see was taking its toll. When he mentioned contacting his parents, she nodded in agreement, recognizing the importance of seeking wisdom from those who knew him best.

If they still wanted her help too, she'd also be more than willing to offer it.

"Reaching out to your parents was a good decision," Valery said warmly when the transition seemed to end. "They know you well, and their guidance could be invaluable as we figure this out together. It's important to have a strong support system, and I'm glad you're letting them in on what's happening."

She paused for a moment, watching him carefully as he wrestled with his thoughts and emotions. His words about not fitting into the role of a Jedi Guardian resonated with her, and she smiled gently, hoping to ease some of his concerns.

"Being a Jedi isn't about fitting into one specific mold. The Guardian path might not be where you feel most at home, and that's perfectly fine. There are other paths within the Jedi Order that you might find more aligned with who you are." Her voice was steady, filled with understanding.

"For example, there's the path of the Jedi Sentinel, who blends combat skills with a focus on investigation and the pursuit of knowledge. And then there's the path of the Jedi Shadow, where the focus is on dealing with darker forces, often working in the shadows to protect the galaxy. Both of these paths could offer you a way to use your skills in ways that feel right to you."

Connel Vanagor​

 

[Connel Vanagor]

LOCATION : Prosperity | OBJECTIVE : Meditating, or trying to anyway
TAG (FRIENDLY) : Valery Noble​

"In my experience,
when you think you
understand the Force,
you realize just
how little you know"​

[COMM TRAFFIC]
X-wing, Combat Shield, Upgraded Shield, Lightblaster, "Brad", Armor/Gear,Shield Kata

She was trying to help and coming up with some nuggets of advice worth their weight in gold, one of them stung though. It was completely true, but it stung. “They know you best”. It’s not that he wanted to be “standoffish”, but he didn’t know how to just talk to people. Half the time he never gave himself the chance. I want to be more involved, but… my father… don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming him for anything but. My father embraces that “strong silent type” personality. It’s just who he is. I am a lot like him, but I don’t like that style, I just don’t know any other way. I’m trying… but…

Shaking his head with a bit of a laugh. I’m not looking for pity here, and… weird… I can hear “his” voice in my head yelling at me… anyway… I’m not looking to give a sob-story or anything when I say that. I’m trying to be better, and not so “weird”. I want to be someone that others in the Temple don’t tend to avoid,

Realizing how weird that sounded, he moved on quickly, especially with her mentioning the other possibilities of a Jedi’s future. Don’t Shadows tend to hunt down Sith artifacts and destroy them? Or something along those lines? Don’t many of them tend to fall to the Dark Side? He made sure to clarify as he was in the presence of one who did not.

He knew about Sentinels and Investigators, Master Katarine Ryiah was one, and while she was great in the role, and Jedi Knight @Brandyn Sal Soren, it didn’t work for him. This was not a negative reflection on either of them, or anyone who followed their path, just with him…

… meh…

Putting his elbows down on his knees and leaning forward as if contemplating, he took a moment or two. I don’t want to leave the Order, but I think if I were to go down the path of a Shadow, I would have to go to “The Shadow Temple” that my father is building on Kashyyyk. It’s set up for that sort of thing. Sucking on his gum line, he was not sure of what to do, but he had something to think about.