Private Guavian, Guava And Bad Java

[Jon Dromon]

Spoiler: Music OOC

Red light. Grey sky. Desevro was a planet known for its decrepit condition, its urban decadence amid the sprawling ecumenopolis. Crime was rampant, as was corruption, and forget about the government because for a large swath of it there just wasn’t one. It wasn’t full on anarchy despite the chaos, but in this environment criminals had the monopoly on the economy for the most part.

Credit was given to one organization in particular. They weren’t the Black Sun or the Crimson Dawn. They were not Pykes and they were not Hutts. In fact, as ruthless as any other faction, it was their unruly temperament that had earned them the ire of other syndicates way back when on Coruscant to begin with.

So one splinter cell of the cabal in particular had found purchase on the world of Desevro and thrived there. While that came with the expense of civilians caught in the crosshairs of warfare, promptly kicked off by yours truly, it also led to profit. Whatever, one figure didn’t mind it, though he did like credits.

Red light between the streets and the alleys. Grey sky looming over this wintry city. Red speeder pulling up at a corner of a city block in a shadier area of a shady town. A man in a jacket got out. Grey trench coat covered most of his armor and weapons, except for the rifle hanging over his shoulder, that wasn’t hidden in the slightest. Same with the cigarra between his teeth, freshly lit, hint of sweet and spicy hickory in his breath.

“I don’t like this,” he offered his employer as much as his partner for this mission. The Duros was a bounty hunter by profession but the Neimodian in his presence had offered him a job as a bodyguard. Business was business, credits were credits. “I don’t mean the alley or the city,” he clarified as he sighed out smoke. “That’s a given. But this shit?” He tilted his head at what was supposed to be a caf with 'Guava Java' written on the cup. “Tastes like bantha ass.” But he didn’t know that from experience.

What he did know was never trust a Neimodian and neither trust a Guavian. However, the former was paying the hunter and the latter would be arriving anytime at the other end of the alley for this meeting. Hopefully things didn’t turn sour between the Trade Federation and the Guavian Death Gang. If they did, oh well, Jon Dromon would be paid extra for having to fire his blaster. If he wasn’t? There goes this Neimodian. Accidents tended to happen.

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

Sha was reticent to travel so far from her home base on Enarc for business, but the promise of profits from the now shattered Tion Cluser was too good to pass up. The Guavians had approached her through an intermediary to offer a pick of illegal salvage and stolen goods from the now chaotic region of space, an interesting prospect to her since the Guavians were known for their love of quality technology. Unfortunately, this deep into Imperial, 'No Trade Zone', space Sha couldn't bring open Federation assets like starships or guards, she needed a freelancer, and she got Jon Dromon.

The bounty hunter came well recommended, and given the sheer volume of kit he'd stashed under his overcoat it was clear he was prepared for violence. Plus, he was easy on the eyes, and Sha always considered that a plus. As for herself, Sha had sprung for a simple overcoat in royal purple with high leather boots, striking a fine balance between blending into the back alley without disapearing into it. That, and it let her conceal a thin blast vest and a high-end pistol. She might have beena beaurocrat, but Sha understood the value of a good blaster in a tight space.

"I told you, Imperials can't make a good cup of caf to save their lives." Sha couldn't help but chuckle at the unfortunate state of her new partner's drink. "Tell you what, if we're both alive at the end of this, I'll get you something gormet."

Sha didn't like to burn bridges, but if it came down to her hide or Jon's she would ditch him in a second and laugh about it all the way back to Enarc.

Jon Dromon

 

[Die Shize]

oopsy

 

[Jon Dromon]

Escort jobs weren’t really Jon’s specialty. He was a bounty hunter, not a bodyguard, but a job was a job. The Duros was also a gunslinger, a good shot, and a Guavian fetched a pretty credit if one or more ended up with bounties on their heads. All in all, today was going to be a good payday, however this played out.

Jon shrugged off his employer’s comment. Any coffee better than what was in his hand would be a bonus if the Neimodian bought it, kind of like capturing a Guavian or two if the occasion called for it. These scumbags really do have plenty of enemies to choose between. He thought as he watched the alley.

The pair of them were in position already. They followed the instructions: Come to the alley, wait in the open, and either the Neimodian comes alone or with just one other person. Fortunately she wasn’t an idiot and neither was he. The Duros kept the speeder between them and the other end of the alley in case somebody did something funny the next moment, like shoot at them from a distance.

“Company,” he breathed easy, smoke languidly curling skyward. A speeder emerged from the distance, parked, and four figures exited, armed and armored. Both parties stood at a distance. “Well, they’re not aiming at us. Yet.” If they did, they’d be dead.

Two of the Guavians walked further ahead at a casual pace, stopped in the middle of the alley, waiting. “That’s our signal.” Jon began walking toward them. That meant stepping away from the speeder but Sha was the buyer in their territory so whatever.

“Guava Java?” A male voice came from behind that trademark red black Guavian helmet. Black circle. Red dot. What kind of moron wears a target for a helmet? These guys were walking bullseyes. "Imp shit. Tastes like piss." He didn't get any disagreement.

“Don’t hold it against me,” Jon offered no apology. Evidently the white cup in his hand with its green griffin logo was well known.

“Don't do somethin' stupid and I won't, Duros.”

“Enough.” The other Guavian said, evidently the club cookie commander. “You want tech, we got it. Keep your coffee, take your pick, let’s get on with it, before I lose my shit.” Datapad in hand, ready to show his selection to the Neimodian, Jon already wondered if these Guavians had the goods on them to begin with.

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

"Yes, well, be sure to keep an eye on them in case they do start aiming." Sha whispered to Jon as she approached the Guavians, making sure to put the Duros between herself and the gangsters. Four gangsters she could see, two hanging back and two approaching, she didn't see any sign of any others but that didn't mean they were alone.

"Gentlemen, don't fight, you're both pretty!" Once the Guavians and Jon began to antagonize each other, Sha stepped forward to try and break the ice, confident they weren't going to start shooting immediately at least.

"Yes, I'm here for a deal, long term and lucrative, for illegal salvage. I hope you brought a sample of the requested items?" Sha had been interested in acquiring communications and computation equipment, military preferred.

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

The good thing about being both a bounty hunter and a bodyguard was that Jon Dromon did not have to do much talking for either job. He just stood there watching and listening and smoking his cigarette and forget the coffee. Presently he was lost on thought over his employer’s comment about him being pretty. Huh…yeah…I guess I am at that, huh? He flicked ash from his cigarette, blew smoke, though he wasn’t blowing smoke up his own ass.

“Of course we brought samples,” Captain Helmet said. “What do I look like, an idiot in a helmet?”

Well…

“First, peruse the catalog at your leisure.” He passed the datapad over to Sha. “Latest salvaged items made a fine addition to our collection. You’ll find fair prices listed for navigation equipment otherwise pretty kriffing expensive on the market, surveillance packages, slicing devices, the finest spice sets for the best chemist and, of course, my favorite: weapons.”

Jon didn’t bother looking at the datapad. He just kept his eyes on Guava 1 and Guava 2 and never mind the Guava Java in his hand.

“Whatever it is, whatever you do with it, not my business, but if you want to view something up close then we go to the speeder.” Further away from their own. “And, if we do that, first you show me that you have credits because anything you look physically at means you buy something with physical currency or at least an immediate transfer.” He shrugged. “Nobody leaves this alley without getting their hands dirty.”

Huh.

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

Sha had to physically bite her tongue in her mouth to keep a bevy of sarcastic comments from flowing out at the Guavian leader's comment, and she simply took the datapad to thumb through the offered options. It was a lot of government and corporate computer equipment. Chemicals and weapons were not of interest to her, maybe to some of her clients but electronics were the hot ticket item.

"I have the credits here for our initial deal." Sha produced a small datapad from her long coat, containing information for a special shell account containing the credits the Guavians had asked for. It was encrypted, of course, and they would only be getting the code when Sha was satisfied with the merchandise.

"I don't suppose one of those strapping young men over by the speeder could bring me a sample of the slicing drives?" Sha asked, every instinct telling her to avoid approaching the Guavian speeder at all costs, especially after that crack about dirty hands. That statement was too loaded not to be some kind of threatening innuendo.

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

Jon was glad that his employer wasn’t dumb enough to simply venture forward toward the speeder without letting her suspicions be made clear. One problem with Guavians wasn’t their ruthlessness—that was expected for a criminal organization—but their predictable unpredictability. They were violent and treacherous, yes, in the sense that they went out of their way to make it public.

The Hutts? You could do business with them and expect business to be done and, sure, they might screw you over if it suited their purpose. The Pykes? Not much of a difference. If you crossed them, well, they might just kill your family like the Hutts but also your kittens just to maintain their own reputation. Guavians? Forget about it. Nobody wanted the Guavians. Even other criminal organizations didn't do business with them. That’s why their asses were kicked out of Coruscant.

“Account checks out. That’s good.” If there was a threat in the ringleader’s tone then it was low. He sounded casual enough but Jon recognized that to simply be faux affability as far as tropes go. “Now, datapads in hands are one thing, but there are prying eyes in this city and who knows who might be watching this alley...”

I know I’m watching you, buddy. One wrong move and I’m bringing a Guavian bounty with me. “You want a sample, you come to the speeder. Think of it as insurance before purchase like the code you need to give me for your encrypted credits.” He gestured toward the speeder as if ready to lead her. “Shall we? Or we gonna keep pissing in this alley while your escort smokes his cigarette and doesn’t sip his coffee?”

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

Alright, these guys really wanted her over by the speeder. Which meant they wanted her alone and vulnerable. Which likely meant a kidnapping plot. Sha figured that trying to turn and leave would end with her and Jon getting shot in the back, so it looked like this was going to turn violent.

"...alright then," She replied smoothly before turning to Jon. "Stay here, keep an eye out."

That could be general advice to watch out for law enforcement, or it could be a warning to be ready to shoot the Guavians in the back if something went wrong. Sha adjusted her coat, and the hidden holster underneath it, before walking slowly over to the speeder and keeping her eyes peeled for any sign of danger. Or...any more danger than she was already in.

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

Jon had no mind to get shot in the back on account of keeping an empty alley between his back and the red speeder just as empty. Maybe Sha would get shot in the back if she turned first, however, but that wasn’t his problem. If anything, the Neimodian would make a good distraction for the Duros to pop bolts between four Guavians quicker than he could flick ash from his cigarette.

Stay here? He wasn’t sure about that command but she was his boss for as long as they upheld their contract. Jon was halfway in this alley between Team Guava and the red speeder. Sure, he could bolt for it if need be, but he wasn’t much of a bodyguard just standing in this alley twiddling his thumbs and keeping an eye out for better coffee that could not come.

If Sha survived and the Guavians died and Jon Dromon wasn’t at her side? There goes his bonus because, in the end, this Neimodian might just be a ninja.

“That’s it. Like drinks in a cantina is all this is.” The Guavian captain attempted to reassure her as her. There were two other Guavian soldiers already at the speeder as Jon watched from a distance. To think ‘I don’t like this’ would be an understatement. Hold the Guava.

“I’m coming with,” the bodyguard explained with four syllables to his unemotional face. “You die, I don’t get paid,” he clarified the Neimodian’s way. It was a sentiment that even Guavians could appreciate given they weren’t shy about being criminals anyway.

“Fine.” The captain said as the lot of them then navigated their way over to the speeder. A moment later and the trunk opened. “Take your pick,” gestured the captain as the Duros kept his distance, cig between his lips. “But remember, whatever you see, you buy something, you leave with your hands dirty.”

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

"And if you die, I'll be fried." She whispered back to the Duros as they approached the speeder. She was worried about the two of them ending up surrounded by these Guavians, but if Jon wanted to tag along she couldn't come up with a plausible excuse to keep him at a distance.

At least the contents of the speeder trunk looked like genuine articles, Sha knew enough about contraband electronics to tell they had were legitimate, at least in the physical sense. She began to thumb through the drives looking for cognitive modules related to slicing and communications, finding a few valuable examples among the piles of random electronics.

"These look like what I'm after, where did you find them?" Sha asked, trying to sound innocent as she tried to probe for a way to get around these people for future purchases.

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

Whether these Guavians intended to sell weapons or gadgets or whatever else, well, if it meant a Neimodian’s ransom or her and a Duros’ death then there was no clean way out of this alley for either of them to begin with.

Had Jon hung back in the middle and something happened to his employer then he figured they’d simply shoot at him anyway. Perhaps their corrupt intentions would not be so easy with her bodyguard at the speeder with her. Then again, it was only a theory.

Fortunately there were ways to keep from being surrounded and, worst came to worst, he like his enemies had more than one kind of grenade if it came to it. The bodyguard did hang back, then, keeping a bit of a distance away from the trunk with the buyer and the sellers in front of him.

Four tangos. One target. ‘Target’ did of course have more than one interpretation. His employer was this bodyguard’s target of protection, his package, and he had no intention of letting her get kidnapped or killed off. That would lead to no payday for Jon Dromon.

"These look like what I'm after, where did you find them?"

“Found them in Darth Vader’s grave,” shrugged Captain Guavian. “That’s our business. Don’t question it again.” He gestured toward the goods. “Gonna make a purchase? Or get on my nerves?”

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

"I can do both, I'm a versatile woman." It probably wasn't a good idea to tease cybernetic killers, but Sha had a sneaking suspicion this was going to turn violent one way or another so why not have a little fun with it? A little humor took the edge off the threat of imminent perforation.

"I'll take the cognitive modules, at the price we pre-arranged I have enough to cover the inventory." She began, taking a moment to quickly note the positions of the Guavians around her and Jon. "Any problem with that?"

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

Jon could be as expressionless as a stoic who knows he is only in this shindig and business for the credits and is gonna show it with intention. Then again, at his employer’s words, he couldn’t help but grin. Can do both. Versatile woman. This was his kind of woman.

If humor was her intention amid the offers between buyer and seller then it had worked for the bounty hunter. For the other party's favor? That remained to be seen. Given their comments on Darth Vader, however, humor was right up their alley as much as down this alley. Maybe.

“Versatile, is it?” Asked Colonel Guavian. “I like your style, miss.” Somehow Jon heard ‘miss’ but heard something akin to ‘queen’ just in an entirely different language that otherwise wouldn't hide or filter it Tech aside, this guy was built like a bodybuilder, but the Duros knew that he could go down as quickly as a stick broken from a tree or...something. “Got no problem given a purchase is what I wanted.” He gestured toward the item. “These cognitive modules will fetch a fine price.”

He just as quickly jerked his head toward her. “But the price is going up, twice the price, on account that I don't trust your Duros with his grin and his frown.” He pointed at Jon Dromon. “Any problem with that?”

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

"I'm all style, keep doing business with me and you'll find that out." That was probably as close to humor and camaraderie as Sha could expect from these Guavians, but at least it showed they weren't completely dead to all positive sensation. The trouble was, like all petty criminals, these men had no grasp of how to handle basic economics, they just assumed waving blasters around meant they could get whatever they wanted in a negotiation. No impulse control, no concept of cost-benefit analysis.

"Several problems, actually, starting with the fact that I like my Duros' grins and frowns, he strikes a fine balance between brooding and smoldering that I just adore." Never let it be said Sha missed a chance for a bit of banter, but that might be her last pithy remark before this got ugly. "Secondly, I don't make deals with amateur negotiators. I'm offering you an exclusive opportunity to be my tech supplier for Imperial space, surely that's worth putting up with Jon's face?"

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

All style. If this Neimodian was trying to not impress this Duros then she was failing at every attempt. Granted, he suspected her as some chickenkriff credit-counter on first inspection, especially with her warning for him to remain behind, never mind the caf in hand at that.

However, the more she spoke to these Guavians, the more this bounty hunter turned guardian realized his employer was anything but a coward. She had balls made out of beskar—no pun intended.

Sometimes waving a blaster could cause fear. Sometimes wagging a tongue could surprise the former because they just didn’t expect it. That was evident on the helmeted countenances of these Guavians as they just stood in silence and listened to Brehg. For the moment.

My grins and frowns, huh? Jon blew smoke in one way or the other at that comment and compliment of his character from his contractor. His lips did tend to shift like the wind but whatever. If she adored him then all the better. He had to admit, she was pretty—for a Neimodian.

“Brooding and smoldering?” Captain Guavian repeated back to the Neimodian princess. “What is he, a cauldron?” If her words were lost on him then his words were lost on Jon. “Then again, hey, if you want to set up a steady supply-and-buy ring then who I am I to say no to such a proposition?”

How about a nerfkriffer with no partnerships because your shithead organization is too treacherous even for the Hutts?

Jon Dromon blew smoke and, when he did, he blew smoke.

“Although…” Captain Guavian rubbed his chin like a Mandalorian once did who forgot about the helmet covering his chin. “You didn’t come all the way out here to go back emptyhanded, I reckon, whereas me and my outfit didn’t have to venture far. So, in the end, I’ll take your business negotiation in this piss-shit conversation...”

He stepped forward, jabbed his finger toward her, made her escort hover his fingers over the blaster positioned at his hip.

“And will still ask for twice the price of purchase. Or thrice, if you keep pressin’ my buttons.”

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

This wasn't the first time Sha had negotiated with some blaster-toting thugs and their cheap intimidation tactics, and it wasn't going to be the last if she could help it. While she was far from fearless, it took more than these goons could muster to intimidate her, and she was glad to see Jon was equally unimpressed.

"See? We both have something to gain here." She was glad, at first, that the Guavian seemed to be coming around on her offer, although his comment about Jon showed an appalling lack of taste. Then Jon let out a cloud of cigarra smoke and the Guavian simply decided to double-no, triple-down on his idiotic temper tantrum of a counter offer. It was then she realized that this negotiation was about to go very, very sideways, so she might as well be the one to tip it over.

"You seem to be under the delusion you're negotiating from a position of strength." Sha replied coolly, tracing a bony hand along the edge of the speeder and began to circle around the vehicle, as the other drifted closer to her concealed weapon. She was trying to subtly draw attention away from Jon while placing more of the vehicle between herself and the Guavians.

"I'm offering to your worthless little gutterpunk's club the deal of a lifetime, if you can't see that I'm afraid I grossly overestimated your intelligence." She played it nonchalant, aloof, but under her brows her eyes were darting between the men to see who would move first.

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

Silence. This Duros was good with it, didn’t even need a cigarette for it. He knew to keep quiet when the occasion called for it, whether for the sake of his employer or just the dynamics of the situation. However, silence didn’t always mean compliance, and it sure as kriffin’ chit didn’t mean a silent guy was any less violent.

Jon Dromon was already done with these Guavians the moment they jabbed at his character but he wouldn’t let his emotions get in the way of his employment with his employer. He was just here to get paid at the end of the day, one way or the other, and insults against his person were like words in the wind so kriff ‘em.

However, he wasn’t an idiot. The Duros caught onto the movements of the Neimodian. Brehg Sha, already a pretty thing, drew the attention of the gazes of these Guavians largely in part because she was their buyer. If they wanted her to make a purchase then they needed to pay attention to her—from feet to hips, lips to arms.

Not to her bodyguard.

“Gutterpunk!?” Uttered someone.

“Worthless!?” Said another person.

“Intelligence?” Another Guavian.

“You. Kriffin’. BI—” Their captain.

Good thing for extended hyphen given he wouldn’t have been able to finish that sentence.

What he and his kindred Guavians did do was lift their blasters toward one woman. That’s right. In their anger, having been upset by her words, they trained their weapons on the Neimodian, on her head and her heart.

Not on her bodyguard.

Sayonara.

Cigarette between his lips, twin pistols whipped from his hips, Jon Dromon trained either blaster on the two tangos closest to his person, also on either side of his employer.

-BLAM!-BLAM!-

Guavian security soldiers had armor thick in the helmets, shoulders, chest, wherever anyone might expect with or without their tech yet, like with just about anyone, it was thin at their necks.

And this wasn’t the first time the bounty hunter had pulled the trigger.

Two men dropped dead in a second. What happened next?

Brehg Sha

 

[Brehg Sha]

As expected, the Guavians decided to get offended before they reached for their weapons, a fatal mistake to make. Two were dead at Jon's hands before anyone else had even cleared their holsters, and the others were now scrambling for cover and an angle of attack. The last of the three goons wouldn't quite make it to safety, as Sha pulled out her own blaster and began to put bolts into the man from behind. Granted, she wasn't quite the marksbeing that Jon was, but after three rounds into various spots on the back (and admittedly two into a the side of the speeder) the man dropped dead to the ground and Sha pressed herself tight to the side of the speeder as cover. Unfortunately the leader was still alive and kicking and swearing and shooting and just being a general pain, in all honesty.

Jon Dromon

 

[Jon Dromon]

It was ever unfortunate how easily and quickly others overlooked the accuracy of a marksman who lived and died for marksmanship. Had these Guavians been training their weapons toward Jon instead of his employer then events would have ended up in a different story. However, they hadn’t, which made a pair of necks easy pickings for a hunter who had already been aiming at them while pretending to only smoke his cigarette.

Jon’s next focus was on said employer. He wouldn’t get paid if the Neimoidian died. She had already shown these Guavians that he she could fight but, more importantly, her accounts were encrypted as expected. So she was Jon’s next target, just in a different interpretation.

The Duros was determined to protect the Neimoidian no matter what happened to the shipment. If the speeder blew up and the merchandise within it? So be it. His contract was to keep Brehg alive and, pity to her purchase, she would also die if she failed to live up to her bargain with him.

For now, however, the remaining Guavian, indeed the leader of this ragtag operation, was given the hunter’s attention. The captain also took cover behind the speeder, opposite the Neimoidian, which left the Duros in the open.

“Neimoi!” Jon shouted after darting behind a dumpster-something-or-other for cover at the edge of the alley. “Pull your socks up!”

Granted, his statement wouldn’t be cryptic so much as a distraction. The moment Brehg took cover, a grenade would find its way on the other side of the speeder where Captain Guavian took cover.

Whatever. Surprise strikes on unarmored necks of just about anyone? Easy pickings. A Guavian fighting back against an opponent? Not so easy and kriff the goods. Preserving them wasn’t in Jon’s contract. Just preserving Brehg alive was.

So the explosion, if it hit as intended, would occur behind the Guavian captain but would not affect the Neimoidian as long as she stayed behind the speeder. However, the shrapnel would shred the Gauvian.

Then again, Jon knew he would run away from the explosion, which meant stepping into the open, which meant both the Duros and the Neimoidian would finish him with combined efforts of blaster fire that would not quit until he fell and did not get back up because he was nerfshit.

Brehg Sha