Hat Trick

[Okh-Verg]

Somewhere deep within lawless space...​

​

The morning had been quite uneventful for most aboard the unaffiliated and unnoticed space station. A safe haven for those connected to the criminal underground to nest and plan their next move without diving into the typical criminal havens like Rishi or Nar Shaddaa; the popular places had ruling families after all, the household names for criminal activity had either become governed or doomed to be repeatedly stomped into the pavement again and again by the Galactic Superpowers. Of course, time shifts the balance of power and the inner workings of the galaxy's expansive circles and in times such as these, it was these small independent and unmarked stations that acted as the sort of 'criminal hotel' that those not wanting to be scooped up and branded under one banner or another really found their customer base. Built into an asteroid and considered one of the larger and more advanced hidey holes spread across the galaxy, one patron found himself busy with the usual routine.

Okh-Verg was a nobody with a mind that was certain that he was somebody. The hybrid had always struggled to find a loyal consumer base or opening into the market but that was hardly surprisingly thanks to the constant tricks and ploys he used to backstab on any deals he actually made and gain both his stock back and the profits he made from the deals themselves. Whilst nobody found out about these shady dealings with a bomb strapped to the bottom of the receipt, it was the simple fact that it even happened in the first place that meant that any potential long-term customers were already six feet under. This left the lizard-bird with quite the serious conundrum and a never ending cycle that had wound him up quite frankly in the middle of nowhere. Fortunately, the 'owner' of the station had owed him several favors and then a blackmail scheme that bagged the arms dealer a 'free for life pass' that more or less allowed him to make the station his new storefront and home. Every day without fail, the Okh Arms & Goods Emporium opened without fail to the people aboard the station, the ugly looking hybrid selling his wares to make a pretty profit; faulty goods or not.

Today, however, was different. He had quite the rare item to sell, a hat of all things. He had plucked it up from some place or another, hearing stories that it had belonged to a rather infamous pirate... Or so the story went anyway. In truth, he could sell it on to whoever he wished and spin whatever story that could get it to sell as some sort of collectors item. All it needed was the publicity, an advertisement to be put out on the holonet alongside all his other goods to bring more business to the station and more money into his pockets or, well, the closest thing he had to pockets. In fact, he vaguely remembered that the Rodian had asked specifically for him to not start spewing out the location of his store all over the holonet for obvious reasons. Oh well.

Okh-Verg was simply not the sharpest tool in the shed. Not by a long shot.

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Sabetha Tag]

Some of her stuff had been confiscated by the Alliance when she'd been arrested. Some of it had been hocked by her ex-girlfriend. All of it pissed her off. Oh it wasn't every single thing. She didn't care about the incomplete sheet set with the mismatched pillow cases for example. Or the silverware. Well, maybe that a little, it had been a nice set and Charsi was a stupid schutta for selling it for way less than it had been worth.

Anyway.

She'd started tracking down the stuff that did matter to her. A sword. Her pistols. A locket. She'd expected some of them to be easy and some to be harder to find. She was not expecting her HAT to be one of the easiest.

"The kark."

She looked, bemused, at the ad, shaking her head. It was gaudy. Garish. And way over blowing the history of that hat. And he wanted HOW MUCH for it?

Sabetha snorted. Noted the address.

Sometimes life was hard. This time? Life was easy. She liked it best when that happened. Making a note on her mental list, she changed course to a small, out of the way station.

And a shop called Okh Arms & Goods Emporium.

Today was her lucky day.

****

What she suspected was meant to be a bell sounded when she stepped through the door into the shop. A cacophonous clamor that ended with something more akin to a brass fart than a soft chime. The rest of the place matched that first impression.

Glancing around, she made her way toward the counter.

"Excuse me. I'm here about a hat."

[member="Okh-Verg"]

 

[Okh-Verg]

The doorbell certainly needed some work but, trying to get one that he liked wasn't exactly an easy thing when he changed his mind every five minutes.

It got his attention, however. And-- Who was this? Those beady looking eyes took several blinks as the freckled pirate came walking through the door, like some deity had sent him an angel through his very door to answer the prayers that he perhaps made one drunken night and didn't really remember. Still, his eyes watched her like some sort of ugly duckling as she made her way over to the counter and asked about the hat. It took him a few moments to respond, some sort of glee over the subject matter that she asked about mixing in with his admittedly creepy stare made his eyes glaze over for a moment before he, simply put, clapped his hands together and nodded; "Yes yes! Welcome! You hear about hat? Okh have hat! Come, come!" he stepped around the counter and moved over to a particular corner of the shop to where he put the things that didn't explode, shoot or stab but rather filled the gaps for everything else. He was an arms dealer, no mistaking but selling the occasional miscellaneous item made a good amount of money from time and time and, like today, brought some customers beyond the tough gangster types in to which was more a bonus than anything else.

It was fair to say that Okh-Verg was bored out of his skull sitting around the station doing nothing. Unlike Nar Shaddaa, at least there he could make things explode without the danger of sucking everything and everyone, including himself and his stocks, into space.

There it was, however, the hat that she had no doubt read about and regarded as an essential piece of attire for her to operate fully as a pirate. It perhaps looked a little worse for wear but it was no doubt the very same accessory that she had been parted with when she had been captured by the Alliance. The bird-lizard got his grubby mits all over it and presented it to the customer for her to see before pulling it away and placing it upon his head, even if it didn't exactly fit right; "Good, no?" he asked before starting to flap his tongue; "This hat belonged to infamous pirate, yes. They killed many people, like you! Very dangerous but, story goes that she was eaten alive by a Rancor!" he exclaimed, hand gestures and sleazy tone all the while; "Now, this hat serves as fashionable piece of anyone who likes... Wearing clothes of dead people! Very fashionable, I assure you, yes! Next trend!" he placed his hands together and let his pale and murky eyes wander; "Normal people I charge five thousand credits but, for you? We can be reasonable, yes."

Good lord was the ugly bird in for a pummeling.

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Sabetha Tag]

Sabetha just watched and listened, nonplussed, following along in the creature's wake like some sort of bemused ship behind a particularly ugly tugboat.

Despite the general look on its face, the tone of its voice, hell, the rest of the entire experience, it wasn't until it put the hat on its head that Sabetha actually winced. She'd been just reaching out for it when he had been showing it to her when he mashed it down onto the misshapen bowl he called a head.

"You're gonna..... stretch..... the..... band- oh come on now."

Sabetha reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose. If it wasn't for that, honestly the whole thing would have been mostly amusing. The story he was weaving about the owner of the hat (her) was beyond fairy tale, after all. For a moment she debated how she wanted to handle it, and then-

"Well, I have to see if it fits, you understand," she said, her tone reasonable. She didn't say anything about the price at the moment.

"Tell me more about the original owner, hmm?" She said, reaching out her hand, palm up for the hat. "Eaten by a rancor, really? How in the world did you get a hold of the hat then? Wouldn't it have been eaten too?"

Idly, she wondered how far he'd take the lie. But mostly she just wanted her fething hat. Didn't mean she couldn't have some fun with it in the process.

[member="Okh-Verg"]

 

[Okh-Verg]

Those pale eyes blinked in every aspect clueless. He hadn't thought of that.

A slight twitch came to his head, noticeable but not overly so; a sign that her logic was like a poisoned dagger to his own fantastic ploy and perhaps even a physical reaction to her trying to get the hat into her possession. His little gift sometimes gave him a kick in the stomach or a poke in the eye when something felt amiss or, well, when someone was actually planning the act. He didn't quite know what it was and usually pinned it on the food or drink that he had the hour or day before; the station wasn't exactly known for its five star cuisine or particularly healthy methods of quelling thirst but alas a hand reached up and removed the hat from his head slowly, offering it towards her. If anything, she was good looking so the exception could be made; probably not the smartest decision the lizard-bird had ever made but alas he wasn't the smartest, especially considering that he had no doubt seen her before on... Was it a poster? Possibly, the point being that he should have had long enough to make the connection between hat and owner.

Except Okh-Verg was dumb as bricks when it came to the obvious.

Reality snapped back and he realized that he had been stood there with his face making gestures to suggest that he was on some sort of drug as he'd clear his throat and bellow; "Ah! She was a pirate! Very dangerous one! Only thing is, she was only small. Rancor very big! Some not know how the rancor died but later, I found it! I cut it open and aha!" he shook the hand about in his hand, a blank stare coming from his eyes but with how they were pale, it wasn't exactly easy to tell where exactly he was looking; "Of course, I wash and dry it, make it look good as new! Genius, eh? Of course... That come into payment. Quality cleaning not come cheap, yes?"

Yet the hat looked like it had just been collecting dust on a shelf for goodness knows how long.

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Sabetha Tag]

Lightly, almost delicately, Sabetha plucked the hat from his hands. She turned it over, inspecting it for a moment. He babbled on, but she wasn't really listening. Dusty, not well taken care of. But she'd always been rough on her things herself so she wasn't overly fussed. Oh, she could get grumpy because SOMEONE ELSE hadn't taken good care of it, but generally speaking Sabetha wasn't too much of a hypocrite.

Only occasionally.

He hadn't damaged the band either, so that was something.

She did frown when she found a tear in the lining. Not visible, but clearly from not being taken care of properly. Probably jamming it on his stupid lizard head. Oh, Sabetha had nothing against reptilian sorts (though in general she found she didn't get along that well with Trandoshans for some reason).

"Rip in the lining," she said, voice oddly casual.

But this one really did seem particularly dense. She might have forgiven him if the hat had just been neglected. Damaged was different.

She tipped it backward easily, the hat settling on her head perfectly. Almost.... As if it was made to sit there.

A smile curled over her lips. That was better. Much, much better.

"Mmmm, about that price though....."

The punch came out of nowhere. Square in the middle of his face.

"How about we call it.... a discount. The 'I don't kill you for trying to sell me my own stuff' discount. Got a ring to it, don't it?"

[member="Okh-Verg"]

 

[Okh-Verg]

Honestly? He wasn't expecting the punch. It was actually quite impressive.

The full force forward smacked the ugly lizard-bird hard to the point where his head completely lopsided with the direction of the punch with a surprised yelp yet he didn't seem to offer any sort of retaliation, instead his pale eyes went so wide they looked like moons. Just why did his eyes open so wide? It was because that the sudden bash to his skull had suddenly flipped a switch and made him realize that he had just been trying to sell the hat that he had stolen (not that anyone else knew that) to the original owner and spun a lie directly to her face, even if it did make the original story sound a hundred times better than what had actually happened. Perhaps this was her way of saying 'thank you'? He wasn't too sure as every piece of information unlocked the next strand of the puzzle until the full realization sank in. She WAS the pirate and the stories that were mostly filled with a distinct lack of mercy and goodness knows how many other graphic details were all about HER.

And she was STOOD RIGHT THERE.

"AAAAAAAH!" the yell came just a few moments after an utterly blank stare remained on Okh-Verg's face as he instantly went down on his knees and started to plead; "I sorry! I not know it was you! I couldn't tell because of that beautif-" a twitch of a smile came before it was swallowed by escalating fear; "Yes, yes! You take the hat! It rightfully yours!" the poor sod might have just relieved himself simply out of the fright, as sleazy businessmen went this was practically the definition of the word; slimy and a weasel all the way until someone actually caught onto what he was doing and had a hand wrung around his throat. The period of isolation had been long, cushy for what it was worth and it had made him soft. Now the sudden jolt of reality that someone dangerous was threatening to kill him and no actual tricks or schemes could be played... Unless...

A stroke of genius. Yes, yes! Play along, be scared! Wait until her back is turned and then...?

He could have given himself a medal for this scheme. There was no way that she was released... It was time for some extra profit.

[member="Sabetha Tag"]