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Approved Planet Helgard, Devil's Frozen Bulwark

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Planet Name: Helgard
  • Demonym: Helgardi
  • Region: Tingel Arm
  • System Name: Achalap System
  • System Features:
    • One Sun - Achalap
    • Several Unnamed Moons
    • Static Ion Storm at Edge of System
    • Four Other Planets that Bear Massive Damage from Unknown Causes | Now Populated by Helgardi Colonization Crews
  • Location: In the Trian Hex
  • Major Imports:
    • Foodstuffs
    • Building Supplies
    • Fauna
  • Major Exports:
  • Unexploited Resources:
GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION
  • Gravity: Standard
  • Climate: Frozen
  • Primary Terrain:
    • Tundra
    • Mountains
    • Ice Oceans | Lakes
  • Atmosphere: Type-2
LOCATION INFORMATION
  • Capital City: Hjallaheim - Acting as the mountain-carved capital of Helgard, Hjallaheim possesses all that Lorale Farmar possessed and much of what his brother, Kascalion Giedfield, now possesses, from relics to technological blueprints. Technologically, it is the pinnacle of advancement in the colonized sector of space in which the planet resides, showcasing ground to orbit defense laser cannons, engineering workshops, and forges beyond count. Geographically, the city spans the entirety of the planet’s largest mountain range, hidden within the Neuranium laced rock and stone. It was said amongst the Helgardi that Lorale, known religiously as the Icebound Monarch, carved the mountain city alone by hand over the course of eons, perfecting it until it resembled the spartan glory the Sith Lord had come to so devoutly promote. Kascalion, knowing that the Helgardi would never follow him if he revealed that he slew his brother, continues to push this belief to keep them in line.
  • Planetary Features:
    • Ruins | Lost Tunnel Systems
    • 1/3 of available space covered by a single city
    • Vast Frozen Ocean
  • Major Locations:
    • Sauoafellslond: The second major city on the planet, Sauoafellslond acts as the first, second, and last line of defense for Hjallaheim, built in such a way so as to encircle the capital city. It is here that most of the planet’s native population resides, carving a cold-forged lifestyle so as to earn a place in Hjallaheim, which most regard as the holy land amongst their religion, and become a Guardian of Hjallaheim. This city covers nearly ⅓ of the planet’s available land, housing nearly five hundred million Helgardi, thousands of immigrated races forced into servitude, and military officials from Kascalion's Dread Empire.
    • Heioaboer: The third major city on the planet, Heioaboer acts as the housing for the increasing population on the planet. It is also where most of the Helgardi's more tech-savvy individuals can be found inventing and testing new weapons and armor. Heioaboer is defended by high walls armed with automatic laser turrets and plasma cannons.
    • Kjaransvik: Known alternatively as "The Crypt," Kjaransvik is the mortarium city for all Helgardi who have proven their worth beyond any conceivable notions in battle, craftsmanship, and leadership. Occupied predominately by decorated veterans and old Helgardi who have proudly taken their role as grave keepers for those more worthy than they.
    • Dómrgarðr: A fully manned outpost constructed out of refurbished ruins deep under Kjaransvik, Dómrgarðr is intended to serve as the main hub for expeditions into the lost tunnels and subterranean cities of the ancient Helgardi.
  • Force Nexus: N/A
POPULATION
  • Native Species:
  • Immigrated Species:
  • Population:
    • Helgardi and Other Sentients: Heavy (One Billion+ across the Cities)
    • Wild Fauna: Sparse (Several Million Creatures in the Wilds)
  • Demographics:
    • 80% Helgardi
    • 10% Human
    • 10% Xeno Races
  • Primary Languages:
    • Galactic Basic
    • Helgardi
  • Culture:
    • General Life:
      • Previous: The Helgardi under Lorale Farmar favored a 'simple' - almost primitive - way of life which they believe cultivates physical health and strength and leaves the mind free of mundane concerns. They adhered to an austere aesthetic in their material culture, meaning a life comprised of natural materials with a minimum of applied ornament but fine proportions and perfect workmanship. Helgardi beyond the age of active service and non-military Helgardi amuse themselves by running workshops of skilled Helgardi artisans crafting furniture, ceramics, and cloth in accordance with traditional designs.
      • Now: While Kascalion still pushes that his deceased brother is the Helgardi God, he has forcibly evolved the creatures to a state similar to their ancient selves. This re-evolution and new leadership have resulted in increased technological supremacy in the Galaxy, an adaptation to a new place in Galactic affairs, and an even greater emphasis on physical prowess to master new weapons and armor. Trade with planets outside of Helgard has also increased three-fold, increasing standing with the Galaxy's economy. Hunts have also increased as the Helgardi are now even more capable of combatting the immigrated fauna that serve as their sources of food.
    • Religion:
      • The Pact of Slaughter: Paekk ag Sraeislkou in the closest translation of Helgardi, this religion is devoted to the worship of Lorale Farmar. The Pact holds that Lorale, known as The Icebound Monarch in the Helgardi language, is the God Destroyer and Creator of Helgard. Temples to the Pact can be found in almost every sector of Helgardi cities, some large and some small, but all holding to the strict beliefs. There stands no Helgardi who does not follow the beliefs of the Pact, and even with the knowledge that others like Lorale exist - such as their new leader Kascalion - the Icebound Monarch is regarded as the highest, the one who saved Helgard from doom and stands as its astral protector.
    • Military Life:
      • Previous and Now: The Helgardi soldier is on active duty from the day he or she joins their regiment to their seventieth year. They are required to live in barracks until their thirtieth year, after which married soldiers are permitted to sleep in their spouse's house. Between the ages of sixty and sixty-five, they are held in reserve and subject to recall. Men and women past the age of seventy-five are free of official military duties but are still active in various committees and advisory bodies closely related to military administration.
GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY
  • Government: Theocratic-Kraetocracy
  • Affiliation: Kascalion Giedfield, The Dread Empire
  • Wealth:
    • Previous: Low - Due to the simple lifestyle the Helgardi adhered to, monetary possession was considered moot save for simple purchasing of supplies from local merchants and Galactic Traders. However, if someone were to ask a Helgardi if they were wealthy, they would say yes in the context of family, honor, and pride, which they regarded as higher priced than credits.
    • Now: Medium - With the technological and trade advancements gained by their evolution, the Helgardi's monetary wealth increased quite substantially to where they can now afford their own fleet and self-deployable army.
  • Stability:
    • Previous: High - Due to the strict, spartan lifestyle the Helgardi lived by, the cities lived in strong unity with the utmost protection from their liege.
    • Now: High - Now under the iron fist of Kascalion Giedfield, the Helgardi's stability has increased even more due to the Devil's ability to control planets with a high modicum of success, if through nothing else but the fear he puts in place. It additionally helps that Kascalion holds great esteem for warrior races such as the Helgardi as they remind him of his lost people and his former self who was a galactic warlord millennia ago.
  • Freedom & Oppression:
    • Previous: While many tourists and outside viewers would have regarded the Helgard society as strict and beyond regulated, the Helgardi viewed this as the utmost level of freedom for they were, in essence, free from the possibilities of corruption and failure due to the regulations that controlled their lives; free from the cold wilderness where they starved for generations; free from despair and depression. Under the might of the Icebound Monarch, they could live free and protected.
    • Now: There is much more freedom for the Helgardi under Kascalion's rule to compensate for the increased technological prowess and ability to explore the Galaxy, although it is still not compatible with individuals incapable of fighting for what is theirs.
MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY
  • Military:
    • Previous: Within Hjallaheim resides a large portion of Lorale's personal and vast collection of soldiers. Outside of Hjallaheim, the Helgardi themselves formed a planetary defense force in the millions, armed with swords, shields, halberds, and axes made of the planet’s natural chromium and ultrachrome.
    • Now: The evolution undergone at the hands of Kascalion Giedfield has led to the creation of Helgard's first official space-faring army. Serving within the infantry of Kascalion's new Dread Empire, the Helgardi warriors carve a path of destruction across any planet they are deployed to, killing without mercy and seeking glory in every battle - big or small.
  • Technology:
    • Previous: Within Sauoafellslond, the technological standard is primitive and limited, coal-heaters and wool clothing being an example of such technology. Only the leaders of the city that hold a position in Military Administration or other forms of government related to societal operation have advanced technology, although these are little more than low-band transceivers set to frequencies within Sauoafellslond and Hjallaheim only, as opposed to system or galactic wide frequencies. Additionally, only those in Hjallaheim wield weapons beyond melee weapons, such as blaster rifles.
    • Now: Kascalion has mandated that each and every Helgardi soldier learn how to operate their new technological marvels which includes armor, shoulder-mounted plasma cannons, blaster rifles, blaster pistols, retractable wrist blades, thermal detonators, hovertanks, and various classes of star ships.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Helgard’s history is as much a mystery as those who have ruled over it with an iron fist. What is understood is that before Lorale Farmar's previous occupation of the world, the planet was ruled by the ancient technologically advanced Helgardi before a great cataclysm froze the planet and reduced the apex race to a nomadic, tribal race. However, the exact origins of the Helgardi themselves are a mystery that has never been solved, although Lorale had made considerable efforts to discover the truth before his death.

Without leadership and the technology of its past, the planet had become stuck in a state of primitive stagnation that Lorale immediately began fixing upon his arrival. And so, over the course of decades, Lorale, aided by the Sith Empire and the Helgardi themselves, reconstructed the planet into a veritable city-planet of ice and industrial primitivity.


Before his death, Lorale controlled the cities and its collective population in a way so as to breed the perfect warrior, sending the military out against ravenous beasts imported off-world to test their strength. Each military operation, each duel, each loss of Helgardi life was an intricate brutal machination by the Icebound Monarch, all in a bid to eventually fill the Empire's ranks with a honed savage, capable of slaughtering its enemies with the religious fervor of zealots.

But then, Kascalion Giedfield - The Devil - slew his brother for reasons yet determined and took over the planet of Helgard. Knowing that the Icebound Monarch had so tightly wound the Helgardi around his finger that they would never follow the man who killed him, Kascalion pressed the idea that he had vanished to deal with astral matters.

Believing him, the Helgardi now serve Kascalion as a military force to be reckoned with, significantly more-so due to Kascalion's experimental re-evolution process he made them all subject to. How he managed to achieve this feat is yet another mystery, but the effects are more than obvious. Now as academically intelligent as any human, as physically capable as any Dashade, and as technologically capable as any modern Mandalorian, the Helgardi serve Kascalion's Dread Empire with zeal and fury.

Believing they are on a righteous mission from the Icebound Monarch, the Helgardi know no fear, feel no sorrow, and doubt only the abilities of their foes.
 
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[member="Lorale Farmar"]

So, just a couple comments to make after I've had a chance to read it over.

First off, you've made a small typo under the Intent stating something about creating a new breed of Warrios. I spent far longer than I really should have trying to read over the sub and being unable to focus as all I can think is "WAH!"

That being said, jokes aside, typo, pretty clear what you meant, don't really HAVE to change it if you don't want to.

Now, on to the more serious observations, I notice under the Major Locations subs that you talk about Sauoafellslond being large enough to take up 1/3 of the landmass on the planet, yet make no reference to this fact under the Planetary features. Not a necessity, but something like that would seem worthy of more than a passing mention, if you're so inclined.

The other thing is that under the Tech header, you spend a good deal of time talking about the uniforms and dress of the natives. This strikes me as something that would be best suited as a separate sub, moreso than a part of this one. You're more than welcome to leave it as a part of this sub, but I'd move it to the Culture section, not technology. The general idea of the Tech section is to illustrate the kind of technology the planet as a whole has access to as a whole, not just the clothing.

Other than those quick couple things, it looks pretty good. Tag me when you've come to a verdict on the suggested/recommended edits and I'll take another look.
 
[member="Voph"]

Hello! I have corrected the mistakes present and followed your suggestions. Hopefully I covered the technological standard better than before. Please let me know if there are any other mistakes you notice on your second examination.
 
[member="Lorale Farmar"] | [member="Voph"]

This is a really nicely put together submission, I love how you've kept to the more primitive feel for the planet.

There are just a couple of things I'd like you to do before I can approve this.



Lorale Farmar said:
Unexploited Resources: Exonium
Exonium is a pretty unusual resource, so could you please add the link to it's Wookie page, here.



Lorale Farmar said:
Immigrated Species: Human, Lurmen, Twi’lek, Tauntaun, Mastmot, Skels, Talz, Wampas, Frostfangs

Lorale Farmar said:
Native Species: Unknown (Presumed Deceased), Pale Skinned Humanoids (Regarded as Helgardi, believed to be some form of Arkanian or Sernpidalian Offshoot)

There are several species here that aren't common or well known. It would be helpful for anyone coming to RP on the planet at a later time if you could include links to the species here as well.
 
[member="John Locke"] Hello! I have provided the links for the necessary races as well as the resource.

Please note that the Helgardi are a race I am hoping to sub once this planet is given codex approval. If said sub does not go through, I will likely come back here and choose one of the offshoots for a more concise posting.
 
[member="Lorale Farmar"]

That looks great thank you.

Once the Helgardi are subbed you can always have hte planet pulled back into the pre-codex so you can add them to the submission. In the mean time, enjoy your planet!
 
[member="Lorale Farmar"] The submission has been moved to the precodex as requested.

Please remember to include a list on any changes and modifications made before returning the submission for rejudgment
 
[member="John Locke"]

I believe I've changed everything I wanted to. Under Location Information, I changed the description of Sauoafellslond to housing roughly six million instead of 2 million (I am working on subs for the cities themselves). Hjallaheim now houses, unofficially, roughly three hundred thousand. I have also linked the Helgardi race.

Under history, I just changed some flavor to match the lore I am building up for the planet and the new mystery of both Raptious and the Helgardi.

I would like some feedback if the population percentages should be changed because I feel like they should, I am just unsure about what it should be put to. And please let me know if there is anything wrong with the changes I made.

Thanks a ton.
 
[member="John Locke"]

I believe I've changed everything I wanted to. Under Location Information, I changed the description of Sauoafellslond to housing roughly six million instead of 2 million (I am working on subs for the cities themselves). Hjallaheim now houses, unofficially, roughly three hundred thousand. I have also linked the Helgardi race.

Under history, I just changed some flavor to match the lore I am building up for the planet and the new mystery of both Raptious and the Helgardi.

I would like some feedback if the population percentages should be changed because I feel like they should, I am just unsure about what it should be put to. And please let me know if there is anything wrong with the changes I made.

Thanks a ton.
 
I also just altered another thing I missed the first time under military. Sith soldiers are now Imperial soldiers and the Helgardi defense force is in the millions as opposed to the hundreds of thousands (a mistake I failed to notice when I first made this post)
 
[member="Lorale Farmar"] [member="Kalic Daws"]

This is a beautifully written submission and I enjoyed the depths of your creativity :) Only one tiny technical thing please, and then we can move this submission along:

Please link to the Sith Empire's faction page.
 
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