Private Hey, This is Crazy...

[Mirah Mackali]

Hey, this is crazy...
And I just met you.
But I'm running from bounty hunters,
so hide me, maybe?
​

Mirah couldn't find much fault in this world.

Aylayl was green, lush, and it wasn't heavily populated, which meant carrying out her job in complete and blissful solitude. Today, she was surrounded by ferns and trees and moss – it was bound to be a good day.

Dressed in black jeans, a tee, a flannel shirt, and a beanie, she may have looked a little like a grungy mountaineer or wannabe hipster kid. But fact was, she was a scientist – a botanist, actually. Kneeling, she stuck a tube-like rod down into the forest floor to take sample. Glaring, she carefully dispensed the compacted soil into a long plastic test tube, which had already been meticulously labeled with date, location, and a description of the local flora.

Mirah gently placed the tube with the others in a specially designed plastic crate that would keep the samples upright. Next to that, was a myriad of test containers in various sizes. They were neatly stacked and categorized – soil samples, moss, bark, leaves, seeds. Each crate had taken nearly an hour to sort out, and when the day was done, she'd load it all onto her little trailer and go back to her ship.

But, there was still work to be completed in this area.

In fact, there were some pretty gnarly (and awesome) looking fungus attached to the trunk of a large evergreen tree. Mirah tilted her head up, shielding her darkly lined eyes from the sun. Said fungus was at least 70 feet from the ground. She huffed, just thinking about it and rummaged through her pack for a climbing harness, spiked shoes, and a gauntlet that would shoot a safe-line up into the tree.

As she stepped into the harness, she spared a glance at her samples – and felt a tickle of worry. But she reasoned with herself... being so far out, the chances of running into anyone was pretty slim. Her stuff would be fine.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

Oh I knew I was in trouble- but she was trouble too.

Come one, come all. Come the great, come the pride. Come the fall.

Come the Bounty Hunters.

Come the bounty.

He was the bounty.

They were the Bounty Hunters.

Which is why- currently, he was sprinting through the forest, cursing his rocket boots for failing him. Faulty circuit, or maybe out of fuel. Either way, they had jetpacks, he didn't, and they were taunting him. Sure, it was only a 1000-credit bounty locally, but he was wanted in nearby systems for a few minor altercations with the law, or the people who claimed to be the law. Smuggling was a victimless crime!

Well, except to the people who's stuff he stole. But in reality, Nej didn't want to go to jail for smuggling exotic handbags into Sith Space. Trade blockades be damned, money was money. And purses were purses. And rich noblewomen wanted their fancy purses from the Inner Rim, made by the finest. And he was going to deliver them! In theory, at least.

He got pinched at the spaceport, fought a few local goons, and escaped with a light bounty (here).

The Bounty Hunters were more annoyed, than angry at him. In fact, they hadn't even used their blasters yet. One even had a comically large net. They chased him, ever-so-rudely, into the woods. Nej was at home in space, on ships, in spaceports, in other people's pockets. Notsomuch... the woods.

He was sprinting madly, his arms slicing through the air as he attempted to weave and dodge the trees, just as much as the Hunters behind him were. He heard one getting close. He had to time it right- just right. He turned, hid behind a tree, and threw a small disc out. It was a hologram of him waving, to which the dummy with the net went right after- and neglected to slow down, and promptly went through Nej's hologram, and into a tree.

Laughing, Nej stepped off, sprinting for a little while, his head completely behind him, comically laughing at the Bounty Hunters, trying to free their friend, who's head was stuck in a tree.

And that's why Nej didn't see the crates.

And that's why Nej slipped, fell, and knocked into the crates at full speed, knocking them all over.

And upside down, he smiled meekly at the woman who was... putting dirt in tubes or something.

"Hey there. Nej. Nice to meet you."

He poked his head up at the Bounty Hunters, still trying to get their comrade out of the tree.

"I'm not with them."

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Harness secure, Mirah knelt for a moment to prepare her climbing boots. But a strange sound rang out, breaking the stillness. She squinted and canted her head to the side slightly. Was that… laughter? Straightening up again, her eyes flickered towards her pack, where there was a small stun rod tucked away. And her hand gave a nervous twitch.

Mirah edged towards her bag, figuring it’d be best to be prepared—especially if there was some deranged weirdo lurking around.

It turned out, however, the deranged weirdo wasn’t lurking at all. In fact, he came barreling through the dense brush like a mad bantha. Her eyes widened angrily as she watched him plow right into her crates of samples—her hard work ruined.

She ignored his introduction. Her eyes fell to the forest floor, where there were spilled soil samples finding their way home, cracked containers were already causing specimens to wither. Every cracked container and open test tube was useless now; all of that hard work for nothing. On top of that, there was now a huge karking mess to clean up.

“What the kriff!” She said in a harsh whisper, once she looked up to see the small gang of men in the distance. The other men seemed to be milling about, trying to pull one of their comrades loose... from a tree. Wow, everyone here was really smart... not.

She knelt to inspect the damage, and frustration made her eyes narrow—she’d have glared blaster bolts at him if she could.

“Why don’t you get off my stuff and go ruin someone else’s day?” Mirah said, trying to shove him to the side.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

She was pretty all right- pretty mad. But still pretty.

His eyes rolled upwards, his head poking up due to his upside-down position.

He looked at what he did, trying to assess the damage. But to Nej, it was a bunch of dirt. Dirt was replaceable, right? Just pick up more dirt, put it in tubes. Not that hard lady, jeez. Obviously Nej was not scientifically, mathematically... geographically.... literary... or any sort of the scholastic measures inclined whatsoever, and did not understand (or want to understand) the intricacies of science, the scientific process, the science itself.

But he knew one science more than anything else- the science of selling yourself short, and the sweet science of boxing. So when one of the Bounty Hunters, fed up with trying to get his compatriot out of the tree, walked over and seized Nej by the collar and dragged him to his feet, Nej began to do something (more) odd.

He began to shuffle his feet, pointing down at them.

And then when the Bounty Hunter was looking down at his feet, Nej punched him square in the jaw, ducking under immediately after to avoid any further confrontation. Which, ultimately was not needed- Nej knocked him out with one clean hit to the 'button' on the side of his jaw.

But that's when the other poorly-trained Bounty Hunters pulled out their pistols, and began to fire wildly, rapidly, and hitting nothing...but one of them did manage to hit the crate with a over-cranked blaster shot.

And so Nej turned to run- but stopped, skidding on the dirt. He reached down, and in a moment of what could amount to a good deed, grabbed the arm of the science-person on the ground, and began to take off with her, urging her to run, by saying the following words:

"RUN!"

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

As one of the gang came over and pulled Nej up by the collar, Mirah edged away from them. She didn't want any part of this mess – save for the one she needed to clean up. Still kneeling, she quickly moved to scoop her stuff out of the way of Nej's strange shuffling movements. Seriously, what was with this guy?

Mirah watched, skeptical. However, when Nej's opponent looked down – the dancing man managed a punch and knocked the thug out. The botanist blinked, looking at the unconscious man that now littered the forest floor along with her broken samples. But she didn't have much time to moan about it, because a red blaster bolt hit the crate next to her.

Kark!

Next thing she knew, she was being pulled away from the scene. And there was a moment's hesitation when Mirah slowed and looked over her shoulder. But she wasn't stupid, so when Nej told her to run – she did.

“What the--” she started to say, panting already.

She needed to concentrate on running and maybe not getting killed. It turned out the not getting killed part was a pretty good motivator, because Mirah hated running more than almost anything. Her boots crunched leaves and snapped little twigs as she huffed along after Nej. There were hollers and footsteps behind them...

But her side was starting to hurt and she was slowing down.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

Mh, yes, slowing down, she was.

Nej pivoted on his heel, turning to face the lady he had wrapped up in his stupidity, the poor woman inadvertently caught up in his scheme. To be honest, it was less of a scheme, and more of a scam. But who knew that selling purses (fakes) to pissed off Imperial Royals and their families would warrant wrath?

Not Nej, not at the time, at least.

Nej booked it, noticing that she was slowing down as he was running. Nej, being on the run, and a prominent shockboxer, was constantly on the run, and therefore, had fantastic cardio. The girl, however, was a nerd. A nerd that probably didn't leave the lab much. Her cardio was not so good.

Nej contemplated just leaving her. The Bounty Hunters would probably leave her alone, right?

Right?

Probably not. Nej turned and grabbed her by the scruff, dragging her along for a few feet, before grunting. He dipped his left hand down, went behind her knees- and scooped the poor girl up. While he was running, he managed to finnagle her slightly upwards, reaching for the pistol in his shoulder holster. He handed it to her (see: roughly shoving it into her chest while he was running through the woods while carrying her).

"Push- the lever on the left-"

Running with one person was fine, running with, not so fun.

"Put it on stun- shoot back!"

As they ran, red blaster bolts from amateurs peppered the ground around them, and hit the trees.

Nej, meanwhile had zero plan of where to go or what to do.

She could probably use a gun, right?

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Mirah was about to die.

If not by the wild flying blaster bolts, then definitely by running. All the breath nearly left her when a sharp pain cut through her side – no, not anything serious, just out of shape. But she let out a yelp when a large hand grabbed her and dragged her along.

“What're you --” she began to growl, but she didn't have enough breath to finish. Next thing she knew, she was being hoisted up in Nej's arms. And she would have struggle more if she'd had the energy, and you know... if he wasn't trying to maybe save her (even though he was the reason she was even in this mess).

“Oof.” Mirah nearly dropped the item that was trust into her grasp – a pistol. She held it out awkwardly, almost like she was trying to hand it off to someone else coming up behind them. And when he told her to push the lever, she tilted the weapon and pushed. Shoot back?

Oh, kark. She held the pistol out and closed one eye as she squinted. Everything was a blur; the trees, the shadows in the distance, the red bolts, and even the guy carrying her. And while it was nice to not have to run, being jostled around so roughly wasn't going to make shooting any easier. Pulling the trigger, she watched as her first shot hit a tree trunk.

Okay, she hit something. But it wasn't exactly what she'd been aiming for.

Mirah squeezed the trigger again, then again, and again. While she didn't hit any of the guys chasing them, she made one of them stumble when her bolt cut into the ground where his feet were headed. Then, she fired and hit one of them! And the next one tripped over his fallen comrade.

“I got one!” she yelled, right next to Nej's ear.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

Things were going great, until they weren't. She smelled nice- I remember that much. Even out there. Or maybe just different.

"Great shot, but don't get coc-"

-Ky.

Nej winced as she yelled right into his ear. She was literally inches away and felt the need to yell. Rude, or maybe just excited. Enough to distract him, enough to make him forget. He was in the woods. Woods had trees. Trees needed to go in the ground. Ground had dirt. Trees got into the ground by roots. Roots stuck out of the ground.

And Nej, running, tripped on roots. He fell face first, Nej and Mirah sprawling out on the forest floor, with Nej carrying most of the burden, and having thrown Mirah for her own good, taken most of the fall. He lay on his back, groaning in pain.

It hurt, a lot. Like a lot a lot.

Then, one of the Bounty Hunters- the one with the net, came up, throwing the net over Nej- if not for the other Bounty Hunter stepping over to get another punch on Nej for knocking out their friend. The other Bounty Hunter was wrapped up by the net, cursing and flailing as he fell over, trying to break out of it. Then, the electrifying nature of the stun-net kicked on, and the Bounty Hunter was... not having a good time. In between laughing and the commotion, the one who threw the net managed to run to Nej, and start to drag him. Cursing, Nej and the Bounty Hunter were out of sight, in between two trees for a moment.

Then, the two came back out, roughly slapping each other to the other tree. They disappeared for a few moments, before a distinct WHACK sound came forth. Nej sprinted between the two trees, both of them trying to hit each other with sticks. They disappeared for another few moments, before Nej and the Bounty Hunter appeared back in the middle, wrestling apparently. Nej looked over quickly at Mirah, gasping in fake horror.

The Bounty Hunter looked that way too.

And then Nej punched him in the side of the head, cracking his face mask that he was wearing. Covered in dirt, sticks, and mud, and grass, Nej held his hands up, like he won a championship belt.

"I did it! Yeah! Woo!"

He stopped celebrating and looked over at the lady.

"I'll uh... pay for that stuff."

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Mirah's triumph was short-lived.

Nej's words were totally lost on Mirah as she found herself being tossed. An awkward yell escaped as she hit the ground, and rolled a couple times. And as she lay groaning, she craned her neck to see that Nej was, too.

But not for long. The bounty hunters – or whoever they were – had taken this chance to catch up. Thankfully, they didn't seem like they were going to bother with her. Mirah stayed on the ground, eyes narrowed as she watched the scene unfold. There was a stun-net, but it didn't find its mark – not quite. She watched with a grim expression as the man trapped in the net writhed as it shocked him.

Then, her eyes were drawn to Nej and the remaining hunter as they disappeared behind a tree.

What were these... theatrics? The two were putting on quite the show. Maybe they were just trying to show off, guys were definitely weird like that. But it ended with the hunter getting clocked by Nej's large fist, and he was out for the count. And Nej seemed pretty proud of himself.

When he turned to her, she groaned and hauled herself up off the forest floor. While she wasn't muddy, she had some dried leaves and twigs in her dark brown hair, and some dirt on her clothes. She cast a doubtful glance at him as she moved past – walking back in the direction they'd just come, back to her stuff.

“Yeah, right --” she said, rolling her eyes. “That stuff is crazy expensive.” Well, not all of it, collection containers came cheap. But the specialized pods used for transporting live plants were pricey. “You've done enough, alright? Just leave me alone.”

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

Click. Click. Just like that.


Crazy expensive?!?

He played it cool (for the moment). He could afford expensive things. He was a swashbuckling, daredevil smuggler, after all. He could afford them- if he made more money. But for the moment, their best option was to get out of there.

Nej approached her, glancing around, then looked back and over at the groaning Bounty Hunters.

"Ok, so, good news. These guys aren't hunting me anymore."

He blinked a few times, baring his teeth to show that he was about relay bad news.

"Bad news- they're coming for you now too."

Probably. More than likely. His ship wasn't here- stashed away back home. Hopefully the kids decided to not draw on it this time. As cute as the little monsters on the side of his ship were, it was pretty identifiable- and hard to wash off. But that was for another time.

"So I'll make you a deal... you get me off this planet, safely, and I'll give you half of my.."

Awkward, trying to think of a non-criminal way to say smuggling money.

"Earnings."

He said with a wry, cheeky smile. He had a handsome smile, that at least, one could admit. He might've been a otherwise spacer scum in general, but he did have a nice smile.

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Mirah stopped when Nej did not leave her alone like she'd asked.

And she squinted at him when he gave her the 'good news.' Just what did he mean by that? Then, his grimace said it all. There was more to it...

“What--” Mirah started to say, pointing an accusing index finger at him. She didn't have any part in this – in whatever he'd done to piss off these guy in the first place. But she did suppose it looked rather bad for her, the fact that she'd run after Nej... and shot at those guys. An irritated sound escaped her as she stood, looking from her destroyed samples and back to Nej.

“Fine.”

Though she was slightly disarmed by his smile, she pursed her own lips in frustration. So, he'd pay her back for the cost of the things he'd destroyed... but that wouldn't exactly cover all the lost time. All of the day's work had been wasted, a thought that came with a heavy pang of annoyance.

Her eyes flickered to the bounty hunters on the ground. Mirah guessed they wouldn't be there for much longer, so she began stomping off in the direction of her ship.

“Come on, then,” she said, rolling her eyes. “My ship's not very far.”

In fact, it was parked up atop a rocky ridge. There was a little trail... somewhere nearby – if she could just remember which way she'd come. Of course, there was a faster alternative... up.

“There,” she pointed, the sleek side of her research vessel barely visible beyond the canopy and rocky outcroppings.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

She was mad, she was cute. I owed her money. Recipe for disaster, right?

​

Nej turned and gave her a look.

"You just park your ship wherever?"

Nej noted that he could've just stolen it and been done with it. Stupid, stupid, next time. Hopefully, though, there wouldn't be a next time that he was stuck with a plant nerd and on the run. Normally, well- he was on the run to begin with, but that was a moot point when she was on the run too, now.

Nej, a street rat growing up in the dunes of-

Well that wasn't important right now.

But he did have some training from a brief stint from a time passed... that showed him how to hike. So he followed the trail, the natural runoff of water and erosion... and boom! Discoloration on the hillside. Found the trail. Easy peezy. He lead the pair, blaster out, to her ship.

And then when he got there, he probably would've stolen something else. It looked clean.

He pointed up at the ship.

"Did it come like this? Please tell me this is a rental. No way a pretty girl like you flies around in this hunk of junk."

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

“I don't park it wherever,” she replied, rolling her eyes again – she had a feeling she'd be doing that a lot. “I've been collecting samples in this area.”

Mirah started the trek up the trail she'd blazed earlier, a thin little path through the brush. Her feet slid a bit on the dry dirt and pebbles, but she wanted to get off this world if it meant getting away from these idiots with blasters (present company included). And when he insulted her ship, she narrowed a deadly glare at his back.

Breathing heavily as they reached the stretch of cliff that currently housed the Green Thunder, she bent to put her hands on her knees. “It's not junk,” she said in defense of her vessel. “It's a good ship.”

She opened her up and stomped up the ramp.

So what, her ship wasn't a premier research craft – but it got the job done! And this model could explore under the water, too. Besides, she wasn't going to let this scoundrel ruffian tell her what was a hunk of junk.

Bringing them through the corridors, there was a lab space and small crew lounge. But on they went to the cockpit, where Mirah sat down in the pilot's chair, pushed the candy wrappers off the console and powered up the ship. The co-pilot's chair was currently occupied by a pile of dirty sweatshirts and some empty instant noodle containers.

“Why,” she asked, suddenly curious. “What do you fly?”

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

​

Nej pointed at the top of the ship, then generally all around.

"Maybe was a good ship."

Nej then proceeded to prance around the ship- touching this and that, examining the samples she'd been collecting. Not that he had any idea what the samples were for, or what they did, or generally what samples looked like. To Nej, it was stuff in tubes. Glass. Tubes. Beep boop. Buttons go beep boop.

Nej was pressing buttons.

"My ships called the Afternoon. Had to park it after a little-"

He stopped and pushed the things off of the co-pilot's chair.

"Incident."

He sat down in the co-pilot's chair, spinning around. She must've lived out this way for quite some time. Nej liked to keep his ship clean and spotless..... she must've not had visitors.

Maybe she was single? Eh? Eh?

"You wanna make some cash?"

It was only after he said it did he realized how many ways that statement could've gone. Nej was not a big 'thinker', after all.

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Much to Mirah's display, Nej was rather touchy-feely with her ship. “Stop,” she said, aiming a grumpy stare at him. “Don't touch anything.”

Too late.

Her test tubes had been smudged, and she had no idea just what damage he'd done by pressing buttons. But she didn't really want to know. No, not yet – or else she might end up doing something rash. Then he cleared the stuff off her co-pilot's chair, the clothing and wrappers now littered the floor.

And when he spoke again, she cringed.

“No.” Gross. “ I don't need to make money, I just need you to pay me back.”

Mirah hoped she'd made herself clear. But she had a feeling that getting him to pay her back wasn't going to be an easy task. As she lifted off, she glanced to the side at him.

“So,” she started. “Where am I taking you?”

And where was she dropping him off? The sooner, the better – of course.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

​

"Sneaking suspicion that it was gonna be like last time. I didn't want to hurt like last time."

​

Nej pivoted on his heel, giving Mirah a look before speaking again. Something told him that it was happening again- as much as he didn't want it to.

"Look, even science people need money for their next science thing. I got- I got a deal we can make. But it requires you breaking some- a few."

A pause.

"A lot. Of laws. BUT- I swear it's for a good cause."

For once, Nej was telling the truth to a woman on the first time he met.

"But you help me make this run, I get square with a lot of people, and you can make enough scratch to do...."

Another look around.

"Science stuff."

He smiled that same handsome grin, putting his hands up to ask her 'why not?'.

It was an innocent enough question, after all.

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Mirah fixed Nej in a glare, amused. But something told her this was the only way she was ever going to get this guy to pay her back. Rolling her eyes, she let out an annoyed groan. “Fine.”

And it had absolutely nothing to do with his oddly endearing smile.

“We do the job, I get my cut or whatever and you get out of my hair,” she said, eyes still narrow in his direction. “Deal.”

She rubbed her forehead and glanced down at her console for a moment as the ship broke atmosphere, ready to leave this world behind. Mirah swiveled slightly in her chair and her hand hovered over the nav system's controls.

“Where are we headed?” She asked, it was kind of important – since she was, you know, piloting the shilp. “And just what is this job, anyway?”

Mirah had a feeling this Nej guy just ran into this head first without an inkling of thought. But she was not like that, she liked to know what was going on and how to prepare. If she was going to play a part in this, she wasn't going to just... trust him. Not yet, probably not ever.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

​

"Hardest part of any job was the sell."


Nej felt like 'getting out of her hair' was temporary. Something told him that he'd run into her again. What was that called? Institution? Something that an old smuggler told him that he needed to have a good institution about bad situations and be able to read situations and people. Which was the case here.

He had a good institution about her.

"Deal."

He breathed for a moment, leaning back on the chair, knocking over one of the many noodle cups in the process.

"My ships on Tatooine. We have to take that, and the cargo- to Nal Hutta. And that's pretty much it. Minus the cargo is super illegal and we might get put in prison for it."

He said the last bit quietly, as if dismissing that as a routine statement that held no weight whatsoever.

Mirah Mackali

 

[Mirah Mackali]

Okay, fine.

So they had a deal. Mirah sat with pursed lips, eyes straight ahead until Nej made a ruckus knocking more of her stuff over. Her narrow gaze flickered his way. “Tatooine?” She started to punch it into her nav-system with a groan. “Ugh, it's too hot there.”

Mirah was already dreading the oppressive heat from two suns. That meant arriving on Tatooine, leaving again on his ship – force help her – going to Nal Hutta, and then all the way back to Tatooine. This wasn't going to be some quick trip and fast payment, the feeling hit her in the gut.

“If there's a chance I might get put in prison,” she said, rounding her shoulders and giving him annoyed look. Yeah, she heard that part. “What exactly is the cargo?”

She deserved to know that much at least.

Nej Tane

 

[Nej Tane]

​

She seemed so nice- so genuine. But that's where the trouble was. After last time- I was waiting for a knife in my back.


"Really, we have to worry about pir-"

Nej coughed, fixing his hair, leaning forward.

"The Cargo is a hot commodity in Hutt Space, due to trade embargoes, blockades- the lack of trade between warring nations has caused a certain commodity among the privileged to become deprived..."

Nej's sell was damn-near perfect in pitch, tone, inflection. He was a natural smooth-talker, if he wasn't so much of an idiot most of the time. He had his moments, but not all the time- they were too far and few between to be considered 'constant'. But he could probably sell you whatever he was trying to sell just as much as he could pickpocket you while listening.

"Purses."

He said simply, raising both of his eyebrows.

"Just... don't ask where they came from, you know?"

Mirah Mackali