Private I love everything.

[Darth Nwul]

The space had been cleared of all obstructions. Far away from the nearest city, deep in the wilderness. The small structure that they'd found seemed to have once been a dojo of some kind, perhaps a place where ancient jedi had studied. There were murals depicting saber forms here and there, and it had taken some time to clean it up to make it livable. The small collective of cultists that had come with him to this place had increased, much to his surprise. The twins had been the first, then three more, then five more, now thirty people worked in the compound which made the work go by that much quicker.

Wake stood in the middle of the open courtyard, stone tiles beneath his feet. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the dark side. Emotion roiled around him in a storm. Joy, hate, love, fear, wonder, ignorance, every emotion in the spectrum build up his foundation. He drew on not only his emotions, but every memory he'd consumed he parsed through, drawing the feelings that their owners had experienced. Centuries of emotion burned through him and increased his potency as the wellspring erupted into a torrent. He knew his power in the dark side was comparable to any of the rank-and-file sith lords, but his body wasn't yet up to par.

That's why he'd traveled so much, to study, to practice, and train his body. He hadn't found a way to increase his physical strength and traits with the force or ritual. Not until recently. His discovery of that Gammorean Sith Lord's records had changed everything. He drew the lightsaber he had built over the last few months, the elegant handle gleaming as the hungry sith metal that made up a good portion of it growled in his grip. Nearby, the twins, Yjome and Darya, sat in meditative poses, observing his training. He ignited the blade and it did not make a sound, the edge appearing in an instant, no moment of extension. An off-white blade billowing with an eerie mist that chilled the bone at sight.

He stepped into a Form I stance, determination, focus, the most basic of forms. He let his mind go through to the memories of the various jedi and sith spirits he'd consumed, drawing on their experience. He knew how to perform it flawlessly-academically speaking-but adapting the style to his body type and enduring the movements was another matter. He stepped forward and engaged in a cautious wide sweep, he brought the weapon up and down, the mist hissing and howling, he crouched and thrust, each movement wide and deliberate; the hallmarks of Form I. He practiced the maneuvers over and over, demonstrating each and every pose and posture with immense caution.

When he stopped, he stopped abruptly, his yellowed eyes turning towards the distance. The twins both opened their eyes and followed his gaze, he gestured for them to go inside and close the doors. He, on the other hand, turned to meet the newcomer he sensed. His lip twitched at the familiar aura, those muted emotions, that presence...

"Paladin! It's been a while," Wake called with a cool smile. "How's Braze?"

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

Matthew approached Wake, his gaze unwavering and his expression conveying a mix of calmness and determination. He spoke with a measured tone, his voice carrying the weight of his knowledge and concern.

"Wake, it has indeed been some time since our last encounter. I'm glad to say that Braze has found the guidance he needed," Matthew began, acknowledging the well-being of Braze before shifting the focus onto Wake himself. He paused, collecting his thoughts before proceeding.

"However, I am here to discuss you," Matthew stated firmly, his voice carrying a sense of purpose. He proceeded to list various factual details about Wake, from his name and age when he was taken into the New Jedi Order to personal descriptions and notes from his previous Master. Matthew recounted small details from Wake's younger years, including his favorite color, preferred treats, minor struggles, and weaknesses. It was evident that he had familiarized himself with Wake's entire life within the Jedi Order, as if he had committed a comprehensive dossier to memory.

"I have taken the time to delve deeper into your past, beyond what was readily available in the Jedi archives," Matthew continued, emphasizing his dedication to understanding Wake's journey. His voice remained respectful, but the undertone of concern persisted.

Drawing closer to Wake, Matthew's voice conveyed a blend of compassion and firmness. "It's clear that you have endured pain and have been carrying that burden for quite some time now. You are lost, and I am here to find out why."

Matthew's words aimed to convey not only his knowledge of Wake's past but also his recognition of the emotional turmoil Wake had experienced. He sought to create a space where Wake could feel heard and understood, while also conveying the seriousness of the situation.

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake shut off his lightsaber, the blade winking out silently. It wasn't as much a peaceful gesture as it was a silent threat. This weapon wouldn't make a sound when it was deactivated or activated, what Wake was not a tool for defense, it was a killing tool and he wanted Matthew to be aware of it as he approached. He clipped it back on his belt and rested his hands on his hips; "I can only hope that guidance will permit him the growth he deserves. It's a shame I couldn't take him under my wing," Wake said with a curt smile.

Wake's expression thinned but he maintained the smile when Matthew shifted the subject; "I figure that was why you tracked me down. You're more tenacious than the Jedi shadow-hunters. They've been after me for a while," Wake said with a snort, tapping his foot. He felt anxiety well up in his chest and he let out a breath. He was feeling anxious because of the lingering guilt that he felt over Ibini Abaas and of the possibility of conflict. Wake admitted to himself he was feeling that way and set the emotions aside as fuel for later.

His eyes narrowed, "Coulda bought me a drink first," Wake scoffed and he held up a hand as Matthew stepped forward, "Let's not get all touchy feely, friend, I'd prefer you stay right where you were before," Wake said with a tap to his nose, "I'm not stupid enough to be within melee range of someone significtantly stronger than I am, physically," He said with a wave of his hand. There was a difference between self-preservation and cowardice.

That feeling changed to something much more heated when Matthew tried to convey compassion. His eye twitched, "You're serious, you're here to try to redeem me?" he blurted, barking out a laugh and slapped himself in the forhead, "I can't believe this, after as far as I've gone," He sighed, "It seems like the Jedi and their allies still don't take me seriously," He shook his head and regained his composure.

"Alright, friend, why don't you tell me all about my pain? Try to bring me to the light," He snarled, "See how that goes."

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

Matthew observed Wake's animated gestures and studied his body language, remaining quiet and stoic as he took in the situation. He noticed Wake's decision to send the two girls out of sight, and his gaze flickered briefly in their direction before returning to focus on Wake.

Matthew acknowledged the substantial increase in Wake's Force presence since their last encounter, sensing the exponential growth in his power. Although Matthew was still holding back a significant portion of his own abilities, he recognized that Wake might perceive his presence and interference as an unfamiliar experience with an unknown person.

Matthew contemplated the possible underlying truth that even with the memories of the Jedi Wake had consumed, his own identity remained an enigma, a missing piece that didn't add up. The powerful aura emanating from Matthew, which he had chosen to reveal partially, added to Wake's unease and further complicated their interaction.

Understanding that Wake had made choices that led to a series of negative actions, Matthew acknowledged that whether he was a fundamentally bad person remained to be seen. This was what Matthew needed to ascertain and understand. The initial steps in unraveling Wake's character were always going to be challenging, requiring careful navigation and patience.

With a warm and inviting smile, Matthew spoke, his presence exuding curiosity and genuine interest. "Dear boy, it does not work that way," he stated calmly. "I can only glean so much from an outsider's perspective. I need your cooperation. However, I sense that you may be burdened by confusion regarding my presence. Allow me to dispel the speculative uncertainties with a few simple truths that may set your mind at ease."

He paused momentarily, choosing his words carefully. "I am not here to cause you harm or pass judgment on you or your past actions. My presence is not aimed at bringing you to justice or delivering any form of punishment you may feel deserving of in reguard to past actions. Instead, I am here as a humble attempt to extend a hand and guide you out of the darkness."

Matthew emphasized the importance of cooperation and understanding. "Consider yourself the focus of my attention, and know that I take you and your actions very seriously. Yet, I am acutely aware of my lack of understanding when it comes to you. I ask for the chance to learn about you and to gain insight into your experiences. For that to happen, we must establish a foundation of trust. Deception has no place in my intentions; honesty and embracing the truth are the values I hold dear."

He brought attention to Wake's past, acknowledging his tendency to run from his actions. "As a child, you ran from your actions, and that is true. You have been running for ten years. But do not try to run from me," Matthew declared firmly, his voice trailing off, allowing his words to linger in the air.

At that moment, Matthew retrieved a small circular object, and a hologram display flashed into view. Wake might recognize what was about to play across the hologram, and its significance would become apparent.

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake's expression thinned, what was he getting at? Boy? Wake frowned, he had forgotten that his body was young. His body? Wake's feelings shifted and he tried to identify what bubbled up. Unease. Confusion? Why? Ah, because of the memories in his head. He was centuries of years old because of the minds he'd consumed, but physically he was still-what-twenty three? Odd. He thought he was older. Ah, that's what it was, he identified the feeling after a moment of introspection. Dysphoria. He'd heard it affected people who struggled with their gender identity, but age dysphoria, was that a thing?

Who was Wake anyway?

His head tilted to the right as he consumed the emotions, blazing yellow eyes becoming flat and cold as Matthew went on. What right did he have to not pass judgement? What Jedi wouldn't find what Wake had done that day unconscionable? Forgiveness? Wake had accepted what he had done but there was no forgiving some things, that was unreasonable. A guiding hand, a beacon of light? His expression became more and more hollow as that twisted thing behind his eyes writhed. Those many threads of madness coiling together, trying to pretend to be something sane.

Wake's smile returned for a brief moment, something about the way Matthew phrased his statement, "This isn't a sanctioned visit, is it? You don't have permission from the council to be here, do you?"

Wake's eyes narrowed even harder, trust? How do you trust an unfeeling machine to do anything but what it is trained to do. Even if it wasn't aware of it's own capacity for deception, it would believe that it is doing exactly what it intended to do. Asking for the chance to learn? "Then you'd have to face the Dark Side, Jedi, in it's purity, to understand me-" He cut off when Matthew brought up his past. Running for ten years-wait-Wake's eyes widened at the object in his hand. "You definitely don't have authorization to take somethin like that with you from the temp-"

The holoprojection burst to life and Wake, unbidden, was drawn into the memory he witnessed from the outside.

-------------​

Wake Nayne sat among the flowers of the Courscant Temple Gardens, his eyes closed in his serenity. He mused over a joke he'd heard from one of the other Masters that morning, noting the intricacies of the humor and the layers of knowledge that could appreciate it. He felt for a fleeting moment the tickle of mirth and appreciated it for what it was before setting it aside as an interesting distraction. Something he could come back and reflect upon, but ultimately was separate from his meditations.

He felt the force flowing through him, everywhere, everpresent, he was a part of it as much as it was a part of him. Harmony and serenity in the moment and outside the moment. His gentle smile widened a little as he felt a presence nearby, one that he cared deeply for. He took a deep breath and attempted to separate himself from those emotions as well, just as she taught him. It was hard, though, she had taken him under her wing when he was only nine years old.

Jedi Master Ibini Abaas strode into the garden, her pearlescent white robes shimmering in contrast to her almost metallic golden skin. A Halaisi she was the picture of almost objective perfection when it concerned the humanoid form. Her sky-blue eyes gleamed like sapphires in her head and her serene smile made even the strongest man weak, tepid, her presence was almost all-encompassing. Despite the power she possesed, she had refused a seat on the greater council of Coruscant. Preferring a life of academia and teaching.

She drifted to a spot not far from Wake and glanced down at him, "Your feelings are wandering again, Wake," She said, the birdsong of her voice startling him out of what he hadn't realised was his own poetic musings about her ethereal beauty.

He cleared his throat, "I-Ah-yes-," He stammered, lost for what to say, "Forgive me master, I have been observing my emotions more closely recently, trying to practice what you instructed. It is difficult, though," He said, "I understand that you would not teach me something unachievable, but I find myself stymied."

She drifted down to a seat next to him and placed a hand on the back of his head and then on his shoulder, "You will find your own peace with time, Wake, you feel more strongly than any young Jedi I have ever met. You retain what I teach you without fail, and you approach your studies with the mind of an academic five times your age," She assured him, "Patience, all force traditions I have learned, light or dark, understand the value of patience."

Wake nodded, taking another breath and trying to separate himself from the momentary agony when her hand drifted away from him. He closed his eye and let himself open to the force, exhaling the lines of the Jedi Code. There were so many questions he had about the code, about what it meant, but he understood that perhaps he was not ready to learn the deeper truths. Truths that Master Abaas comprehended in that beautiful mind of hers. Even so, he had questions.

"Master? May I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Wake."

"Some of the masters have relationships and attachments, they have feelings for their family, but remain in the light. How is that possible? Is that something I could achieve?" Wake asked.

Master Abaas let out a sigh and he felt a ripple of disappointment, his intense empathy kicking in again. He winced, knowing he was in for a lecture this time.

"The ancient Jedi traditions teach us that such attachments, even between Jedi, is inadvisable. While the council has ruled that such actions are sanctioned within strict observation, and those masters have demonstrated their ability to separate themselves from their attachments in the moment, I do not think that is a course that is correct for all Jedi, Wake. Let alone yourself," She began, looking at him with genuine concern, "You have a very strong connection to your emotions and an innate empathy, it makes it hard enough to separate yourself from your feelings and those of others."

Wake's mouth twisted into a frown and he looked down, "But I care for you, Master," He muttered, his feelings twisting in his chest. He felt a distance grow between them that was starting to seem insurmountable. Something hurt that he couldn't percieve. His eyes watered, why had what she said impacted him so? He tried to analyze the emotion but she interrupted his thoughts-

"Did you say something Wake? You must speak up, Padawan," Master Abaas asked, "Your emotions-"

"What's wrong with feeling?!" He blurted out, turning to her and reaching for her, grasping at her robes, "What's wrong with hurting? What's wrong with caring? What's wrong with loving you? I'll be old enough to love you some day, five years, right?" He rambled, the feelings that had been welling up cracking through what felt like a dam in his chest. He hiccuped, vulnerable, weak, defenseless. He buried his face in her chest. She sighed and reached up to stroke his head.

"Wake, I'm afraid that is impossible, we are Jedi, you must reflect on that and accept it. I'm glad that you've found the source of this-" She began.

He looked up at her, agony in his eyes, what did she say? Impossible? He reached up to touch her face, "Why is it impossible? Tell me! I don't understand! Why?" He begged, his fingers pressing against her skin. The explosion of emotions overtaking his repressed mind for that instant.

White mist erupted from his hands, Master Abaas blinked and reached out to grab at them, "Wake, you're-"

Heartbreak ripped through his senses, "I need to know!" He shrieked.

He didn't know what happened next, he felt electricity coursing through him and into his brain. Sparks of force lightning danced around his fingertips on her head. There was an ionized smell and the stench of burnt flesh. He gasped, he was standing, her head was still in his hands. He felt-wrong-something cold in his abdomen hurt him. He gripped his waist and looked down at her. Her eyes were so... no... no no no. Tears welled, no, he saw no life in her eyes despite the shallow breaths in her chest. Her mind was gone.

"No, no no no, no what did I do? No," Wake trembled, "I don't get it, what happened?" He begged, "Master Abaas! Master Abaas! Please wake up!" He begged, tears streaming down his face. "Master Ab-"

Information exploded in his mind without prompting, so much that it pained him. He staggered away from her, grasping at his own head and dropping to his knees in a scream of agony. He retched, thoughts, feelings, visions of a life that wasn't his own. Childhood, younger years, training under a master, becoming a knight, rejecting the call to serve on the council. An understanding of the force as deep as a planetary sea seeded itself through his consciousness. Happy and pleasant memories, memories that were separate. Feelings that were kept tightly controlled.

Master Abaas would never see him the way he saw her, he realized. She never felt a thing for him. She'd already become so separate from her emotions as a Jedi that he was barely an acquaintance. She cared for him just as much as she cared for a flower. There was no attachment between them. This was an irrefutable fact.

Wake gagged, gripping his skull and kicking his feet as the knowledge forced itself inside of his brain. He tried to fight it off but it was no use. He'd consumed her mind somehow. The only explanation. Drain Knowledge, that was a sith power. How did he know that? He didn't. She did. Wait, where did Wake start and Abaas stop? Or was it the other way? He retched again, sobbing, laughing, screaming, curled up into a ball.

Wake got to his feet minutes later, standing up to look at her beautiful face, eyes shut in despicable serenity. The terrible wounds on her head the only sign of the violence that brought her to mind-death. He felt his emotions try to recede, to hide, to become even more hollow. His emerald eyes flashed with anger, no, never, he would never deny his feelings again. Denying emotion was what killed Master Abaas. The Jedi killed Master Abaas. He was just the unwitting animal that committed the crime. Tears streamed down his face as he staggered away, tossing his lightsaber to the ground.

--------​

Wake ripped himself from the memory as the footage ended over the holoprojector. He glowered at Matthew, the emotions bubbling in his chest, threatening him. He could barely remember how he escaped the Jedi temple, but they were after him only a few hours later. Wake had lost himself in the depths of coruscant after that. Ten years later, here he was, watching his crime from the outside for the first time. He watched it all play out and felt the crawling feelings in his chest. The sadness, the love, the regret, the joy of awakening, the hate for the Jedi.

"I ache over her passing," Wake said coldly, "I loved her. I regret killing her. But I am so happy that I did, because it opened my eyes. I hate the Jedi and what they do to people. There is an evil so sinister in them," Wake rasped, accepting the emotions that had been crammed down so deeply that even he hadn't fully acknowledged them. But now they were here, front and center. His broken innocence, his heartbreak, his terror, his guilt. He faced them without hesitation, trusting in his beliefs.

"I accept that part of myself, those emotions are mine and you will not use them against me!" He bellowed, converting those new feelings into power, into the Dark Side. Even the love. All of the love. His love that had been as deep as the cosmos for Abaas was now directed elsewhere. To the galaxy, to every living thing, to nature, to the sith, and to the Jedi who were lost in their false-serenity.

"I love everything now," He bit out as the turbulent but beautiful calm of emotional clarity washed over him. "Thanks for the reminder."

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

Matthew carefully observed Wake's reaction, paying close attention to his subtle cues and studying him as one would a patient. He sought to understand Wake's internal state and the possible symptoms manifesting within him.

"Ten years... and that is your answer? " Matthew questioned, his tone laden with a mix of concern and curiosity. He allowed his words to hang in the air, giving Wake a moment to process the weight of his statement. "I am not impressed, little one. You've not embraced what happened... you've repressed it... and now... now you're running from it again, only this time, it's more like hiding it from view; you're burying it among everything else. "

Matthew's voice conveyed empathy and genuine intent to help. He wanted Wake to understand that his presence was not intended to inflict harm but rather to offer support. "I'm not here to hurt you, Wake. I'm here to help you. You possess a brilliant mind, yet you seem unable to see the real problems at hand. You need to stop what you're doing. Every time you repress your past, you erase a part of yourself, losing what little remains."

He clarified his position, emphasizing that he was not acting under the authority of the Jedi Council. "I do not answer to the Jedi Council, Wake. While I may collaborate with them on occasion by choice, I am here of my own accord."

Matthew's voice took on a compassionate tone as he acknowledged the weight of carrying conflicting views and emotions. "I have to wonder if it ever becomes overbearing for you to hold so much inside one vessel. It can't be easy, and I imagine there are moments when conflicting views well up within you. Keeping it all together must be a tremendous challenge."

Matthew took a deep breath, preparing himself for the difficult truth he needed to share with Wake. With a gentle yet firm tone, he continued, "Wake, I need you to listen to me. It's evident to me that you are suffering, but you may not even be aware of it. I believe you're experiencing a form of psychosis, a condition that distorts your perception of reality."

He paused, giving Wake a moment to absorb the gravity of his words. "Your actions, your intense emotions, and the conflicting views you hold—all of these point towards a mind struggling to maintain a stable connection with the world around you. This psychosis, if left untreated, can worsen over time and lead to severe consequences."

Matthew's voice carried a mix of concern and determination as he continued, "I'm not saying this to belittle or judge you, Wake. Rather, I want to help you understand what might be at the core of your struggles. Acknowledging this condition is the first step towards seeking the support and treatment you need to regain control of your life."

He reached out, extending a hand in a gesture of compassion and support. "I'm here for you Wake."

Matthew's intention was to create an environment where Wake could recognize the need for professional help and accept his support in seeking it. He wanted Wake to understand that his concerns went beyond judgments or criticisms, but rather stemmed from a genuine desire to help him heal.
Matthew's gaze remained steady as he addressed Wake with a mix of urgency and compassion. "Wake, it's crucial that we discuss your behavior. I want to be clear that I am not labeling you as bad. It is the behavior, the actions that need to stop. I know deep down that the real Wake, the dreamy-eyed and enthusiastic youth you once were ten years ago, is still within you."

He paused, giving Wake a moment to absorb his words before continuing. "I want to help you be yourself again, to rediscover that passionate and emotional spirit that once defined you. The journey won't be easy, but it's possible. By addressing the underlying issues and seeking appropriate support, you can heal and find a sense of peace within."

Matthew's voice held a genuine desire to see Wake reclaim his true self. "I believe in your potential, Wake. I believe that you have the strength to overcome these challenges and to reconnect with the person you were meant to be. Together, we can work towards a brighter future, where you can embrace your emotions without them consuming you."

He emphasized the importance of seeking help and collaborating in the process of healing. "I want to be a guiding presence for you, offering support and assistance every step of the way. It's my hope that we can build a foundation of trust and work towards restoring your sense of self, bringing balance back into your life."

Matthew's intention was to inspire Wake with the belief that change was possible and that he had someone who genuinely cared about his well-being. He wanted Wake to understand that his past actions did not define him, and that with guidance and effort, he could reclaim the essence of who he truly was.

Matthew's voice softened as he posed a thought-provoking question to Wake. "Wake, I want you to reflect for a moment. If Master Abaas were here today, witnessing your actions and the state you're in, do you think she would be proud? And more importantly, are you truly proud of yourself?"

He gave Wake a moment to process the weight of his words before continuing. "Think back to the young, dreamy-eyed Wake—the one who was filled with enthusiasm and emotion. Would that version of yourself be proud of who you've become? Would he recognize the person standing before him today? Or would they be terrified and run in fear? Is THIS the legacy that young Wake would have dreamt of leaving behind?"

Matthew's aim was to encourage Wake to confront his current state and evaluate whether it aligned with his values and aspirations. He wanted Wake to reconnect with his authentic self and find a sense of pride that stems from living in alignment with his true nature.

"Deep down, I believe you yearn to regain that sense of pride, to rediscover the person you once were. The path to healing starts with self-reflection and an honest assessment of your actions and choices," Matthew explained gently.


It certainly seemed as if Matthew could talk for days and lecture with ease.

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake blinked and tilted his head in open confusion. Repressed? How could he have possibly repressed it? He stared at Matthew in disbelief. Who the hell was this guy that he could stand there and argue like that starting from a point that was so fundamentally wrong. Wake kept his mouth shut though, he wanted to hear the rest of this nonsense even while he reeled over the accusation. Repression was by definition the opposite of embracing and confronting emotion and feelings, seeing the memories, acknowledged they happened, owning them. That very idea was the foundation of his philosophy.

Cutting yourself off from those emotions, that was repression. This hypocrite, how dare he speak of repression and running away, burying. Wake's expression twitched into amost an amused expression when he suggested he'd come here to help. He wanted to laugh out loud but put the feeling aside. Here on his own, not a member of the order, not even- why was he even here? Why did he care? Wake actually rubbed his face, realizing that the man before him was so completely contradictory to everything he stood for that he was having a hard time even understanding what he was saying.

When Matthew finally finished, Wake stood there for a long time and finally took a deep breath. "I am angry right now," Wake said, "I face it, acknowledge it, and it will drive me forward. My anger is mine, it is my power," He exhaled and looked at Matthew with an almost deadpan expression. "Are you done?"

"Do not ever, for the rest of your life, accuse another person of repression. Ever. I curse you, even if I do not wield the power of the dark side in this moment, even if its only a verbal oath, I curse you, and I dearly hope you pay in the most poetic way possible when the time comes, hypocrite," Wake said with all the malice he could muster, restraining himself from lashing out, "It is all that I have power to do in the moment, I know you are stronger than me, you could kill me now, you could kidnap me from my adopted daughters and you could destroy my burgeoning cult," Wake bit out.

He took a deep breath and reminded himself of the dying face of Ibini Abaas, felt the wretchedness of that moment, felt the pain, felt the sorrow. He could have been embracing happy things, he could have been wielding joy, but this wasn't the time to draw on happy thoughts. Anger was more powerful here, pain, sadness. "Pyschosis, treating me like some basket case, this is just like how you misunderstood Braze. You fundamentally do not understand living people. You skin wearing droid," Wake spat on the ground.

"I am aware of my force wound, it pains me every day. If your intention was to try to open a door through which we could have discourse, paladin. You are sorely mistaken. And I was a fool to welcome you here, I had hoped you would have at least learned something from our other intraction about the emotions of others. But you are just as cold as I thought you were. Belittle? Ha!" He burst into laughter, "Belittle," He sighed.

"And then you brought what she might think of me into this, talked to me about addressing my behavior, being some guiding presence," He ran his fingers through his hair and turned away, "If your true reason for coming here was to hurt me, anger me, and strengthen the negative emotions inside of me, then you have succeeded. If you really want to have a conversation, come back when you remind yourself that you are speaking to an adult that has lived a life outside of the order and that a conversation is two-sided, not a lecture," Wake said dismissively.

He sighed, "At least I'm honest about being cruel, I admit it when I do it, evil bastard," He said flatly and began to walk towards the temple before stopping,

"Oh right," He pointed at his head, "I retain everything from a person when I consume them, take that back to your Jedi friends. And strong minds have a habit of speaking for themselves on occasion, I wish I was crazy," He said with a twisted smile, "I know exactly what Master Abaas thinks of me, and I've accepted that too."

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

As Matthew gently removed his decorative sash and heavy overcoat, he carefully draped them over his arms. His actions were deliberate and graceful, reflecting a sense of reverence for the task at hand. As he shed each layer of clothing, his white, prismatic sheened feathers bristled, creating an ethereal aura around him. It was as if the very essence of his being was transforming, revealing his true basic nature, beneath the fanciful veneer.

With a few gentle flaps, a set of resplendent feathered wings unfurled and fanned out, adjusting to their more natural and comfortable pose. They had previously been hidden under the layers of his coat, robes, and cloak. The feathered wings were a breathtaking sight. Stripped down to his Nexuskin and pants, he stood before the other person, his boots still on, but his gloves removed, exposing his bare hands.

In a soft and sincere voice, Matthew spoke, acknowledging his own limitations. "Then perhaps I am ignorant of your perspective. Perhaps it is I who am the child here and require your lessons." His words carried a sense of humility and a genuine desire to understand. There had to be significance to Wake's actions and wanted to delve deeper into their reasoning.

"Please, I beseech you to teach me your reasoning," Matthew continued, his voice filled with sincerity. "Show me why... this... was your answer to everything that's happened. I do not understand, but I can try." His plea was genuine, an invitation to bridge the gap between their perspectives and find common ground.

With utmost care, Matthew took his fanciful ornate clothes, once treasured symbols of his identity, and dropped them aside haphazardly. The meticulous and ritualistic way he had removed them before was now replaced by a sense of detachment. The physical trappings of his previous self no longer held the same significance. He was willing to shed the layers of his own preconceptions.

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake heard the cloth shift and froze in his steps, walking away. He blinked and frowned, turning his head back to see what the source of the sound was. He stopped in his steps and watched, his head tilted in bafflement as he watched the man shed his clothing. What the hell was he doing? Then the wings came out, and Wake felt his jaw loosen a little. His eyes widened, "What?' Wake practically choked at the sight. He had seen so many wondrous things since he'd freed himself from the Jedi. But this was one of the most incredible.

He watched the clothes drop to the ground and his lip twitched.

He looked up at Matthew and looked him in the eyes. At last the veneer of disgust crumbled from Wake's face and something deeper finally came out. But it wasn't guilt, it wasn't what anyone would expect from a Sith when confronted with an agent of the light. Wake's eyes shone with genuine pity, he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh. "I don't think, as you are, that you can really learn or understand this..." He hesitated, "...Matthew."

Wake sat down on the ground and glanced at the clothes again, "But I respect your willingness to try."

"The only way I can possibly get you to understand is for you to try to answer the questions yourself. So I want you to think hard. Why is the Sith Code the Sith Code? Why is peace a lie? Don't give me the usual poppycock feedings of rhetoric. Really think about it. Try to prove it from your perspective. Why did Sorzus Syn start the code with those words?" Wake asked, "We'll start from that point."

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

Matthew's wings folded gracefully as he knelt down, his gaze meeting Wake's with a calm and understanding expression. He listened attentively to Wake's words, sensing the mix of surprise and genuine pity in his eyes. Matthew's heart swelled with compassion as he recognized the conflict within Wake.

"I understand that my path may be different from yours, Wake," Matthew spoke softly, his voice carrying a serene tone. "I don't claim to know the Sith Code or fully comprehend the intricacies of the Jedi Code, including that of the New Jedi Order. I come here with an open mind and a willingness to learn, to understand your perspective, and to bridge the gap between our paths."

Matthew settled into a meditation pose, his hands resting gently on his knees. He closed his eyes briefly, centering himself in the present moment. "The quest for understanding requires introspection and contemplation," Matthew replied, his voice steady. "I cannot speak for Sorzus Syn or the intentions behind the Sith Code's opening words. However, I can explore the concept of peace being a lie from my own perspective."

He took a moment to gather his thoughts, a serene aura surrounding him. "From my understanding, peace can be seen as a falsehood when it is achieved through oppression, control, or the suppression of individual freedom. It becomes a mere illusion when it is enforced without respect for the autonomy and diversity of sentient beings. True peace, in my view, is not the absence of conflict but rather the harmony that arises from embracing differences, finding common ground, and respecting the sanctity of life.

In my perspective, peace is not an eternal state, but rather a transient experience that should be cherished and savored when it is present. It is a moment of harmony and balance that can be found amidst the ebb and flow of life's challenges. The perception of peace as a lie may stem from various interpretations and understandings of what peace truly means to an individual.

To delve deeper into the idea of peace as a potential falsehood, it is crucial to explore the specific definition ascribed to the concept. Without a clear understanding of the unique perspective and context behind such a statement, it becomes challenging to offer a definitive hypothesis on why someone may view peace in this way. My views rest in the idea that you can not have peace without discord, You can not have love with out hate, you can not have indifference without concern. It is the divine order, the two sides to everything, and the transition in between that are the elements that give life meaning and worth. How can one ever know the difference unless they experience both?"

Matthew opened his eyes, meeting Wake's gaze once again. "I recognize that our interpretations and beliefs may differ greatly, But I strive to bridge the gap between us. I am here, Wake, to listen and to learn..."

As Matthew spoke, a sense of calm and sincerity radiated from him, his presence offering an invitation for Wake to engage him further in this quest for understanding.

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake smirked as he let Matthew finish, the whole thought process was a good one. He was happy to see the man was actually thinking now, separating himself from the doctrine to try to understand something so beyond his own perceptions. Wake gestured with his hand and nodded, "I'll do my best Matthew, and hopefully you can bring it back to the jedi. Who knows? Maybe I can save a few more of them," Wake said with a shrug and leaned back, crossing his legs lazily and looking up to the starry sky.

"Sorzus Syn was a dark jedi who left the order during the dawn of the ancient Sith. She wrote the Sith Code after her excommunication and as part of her musings on the force as she experienced resentment towards the Jedi," Wake held up a finger, "Peace can mean a lot of things, you said so yourself that you have your own perspective on it. But we're talking about a creed here, the intention was something very specific. There's room for interperetation of course, but..."

Wake took a breath, "There is no emotion, there is peace," Wake intoned, entertaining the first line of the Jedi code, "The first line of the Jedi code references peace as well in the opposite position."

He tilted his head, "What does that mean for the Sith Code? What 'peace' did the ancient sith think of as a lie? And how is that different from the peace that the modern sith consider to be a lie?" He pressed, making a vague gesture before fixing Matthew with a stare. He knew he was being sincere, but his eerie calm would make it next to impossible to reconcile the truths being discussed here. Wake was saying it without saying it. He thought the current sith were wrong in some ways, and that there were misconceptions that needed to be corrected.

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

"You raise a thought-provoking point," Matthew replied, his expression earnest. "The Sith Code's declaration that 'Peace is a lie' suggests a fundamental divergence from the Jedi Code's emphasis on 'There is no emotion, there is peace.' The contrasting perspectives on peace in the two codes are intriguing, and it is essential to understand the ancient Sith's view on peace as a lie to comprehend the code's true meaning."

As he pondered Wake's question, Matthew gently folded his wings closer to his back, as if to prepare himself for deeper contemplation. "In the context of the Sith Code, 'peace' might be interpreted as a deceptive illusion, an ideal that promises tranquility but can only be achieved through suppression, domination, and a disregard for individual freedoms and desires. The ancient Sith might have perceived peace as a tool of control, a way to subdue others and further their own ambitions. To them, true power might have been found in embracing emotions, desires, and the darker aspects of existence, rather than striving for a superficial and oppressive peace. I can only think that some one who turned away from the JEdi code would have felt some form of scorn towards restrictive opressive teachings. "

He paused for a moment, searching for the best way to convey his thoughts. "Modern Sith may have inherited and evolved the Sith Code's core principles, but over time, the code's meaning could have become distorted or lost. The misconception may lie in equating peace with passivity, complacency, or a lack of ambition. As with any creed, interpretations can shift with time and circumstance, leading to different perspectives and beliefs among practitioners."

Matthew looked up at the starry sky, he was quiet for a time. He turned his gaze back to Wake, "Your insights and perspective have brought me a step closer to grasping the depth of the Sith Code, and for that, I am grateful. There is much to learn from one another. I however maintain that it is not a 'lie' but a fleeting sense of time with in the ebb and flow of life. I am a practitioner of the Celestial Duality. It is a philosophy rooted in the understanding of the interconnectedness of light and dark. Followers of the Celestial Duality believe that true balance can only be achieved by embracing both aspects and finding harmony within oneself. Pulling yourself in to the extremes does not often do well for one's overall health, physically, mentally, and spiritually. "

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake nodded, Matthew could have stopped there in his response and it would have been enough, but instead he continued and much to his surprise had some enlightening thoughts. However, he unfortunately missed the point. The semantics of the code were the ultimate thing he was getting at here, the thought provoking parts. He smiled though, he hadn't heard someone so bathed in the light be able to actually consider what he was proposing without down right giving him a sickened look.

What made this all the more interesting was Matthew's explanation of the Celestial Duality. For someone who preached the interconnectedness between dark and light, he seemed to struggle quite a bit with understanding the dark part. What he perhaps offering Matthew a dangerous new perspective to improve his power? Did it matter?

Wake smiled, no, not really.

"The peace is the Jedi's peace. The ancient jedi's peace. A severance from emotion. A severance from feeling. A severance from improving and from interacting with the galaxy. The Ancient Jedi were a people who had settled into pure monasticism," Wake shook his head, "They attempted to offer aid to the galaxy on occasion, a galaxy full of people that feel. But they had already begun to abandon their emotions and it made it that much more difficult for them to provide the aid that was really needed. To understand the hearts of others."

"But peace itself, is not a lie, it's a goal. Because if you follow the Sith Code down it's logical path, you find something interesting. Peace is a lie, there is only passion, through passion I gain strength, through strength I gain power, through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me," Wake said thoughtfully, running his fingers through the grass, "Matthew. If I am truly free, wouldn't I be at peace with myself and my actions?" Wake asked, looking the man in the eyes with a gentle smile. "Wouldn't I have nothing to worry about if I was free?"

"Sounds a lot like peace to me."

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

Matthew was quiet as he listened to Wake's reasoning.​

"Matthew. If I am truly free, wouldn't I be at peace with myself and my actions?" Wake asked, looking the man in the eyes with a gentle smile. "Wouldn't I have nothing to worry about if I was free?"

"Not necessarily. If you fancy yourself a parent you will logically worry over the needs of your charges will you not? Turmoil is a part of life, chaos is a part of life, and discord is a part of life. Conflict and contrition is apart of life. There is no true everlasting constant. Let's talk about flight... " He moved to open his wings and flexed them out, the scintillated in the light as they curtained outwards.

"To me... Flight offers freedom. It's perhaps one of the greatest abilities to possess, the ability to rise above it all... To have the mobility of true three-dimensional movement... Now if you had that power... would you want that power, the whole sky, all to yourself... or would you use your power to lift others up?"Matthew asked perhaps speaking somewhat in poetic metaphor.

"Even the most powerful being is subject to an even greater force, Wake. The brighter the beacon of light, the longer the shadow cast, the darker the night the brighter the coming dawn. It is all intertwined. You can't have one without the other; it's not possible. "

He briefly flapped his wings once sending a moderate current of wind across the grass blowing air strong enough to tussle Wake's hair and cause a wave in the taller grasses as it swept by. He folded his wings back behind himself.

" This is an obsession- an all-consuming obsession, I can still try to help you salvage yourself and sort out the real you from this tangled mess... But if you continue down this path there will be nothing left but a marionette to be puppeteer-ed. You are not the first person I have seen go down this kind of path... The ending is never pretty. Let me ask you this... what do you think I stand to gain from chasing you down like this? What reason do you think I have for being here? Surely you have felt a sliver of my presence; Why don't I look elsewhere for 'bigger fish' ? Why do you think, you are important to me? "

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake listened quietly, for once actually listening. He made a face when the man mentioned being a parent and crossed his legs, forcing himself not to react. Instead he looked to the force user before him with intense focus, he agreed with the man's point about life, how conflict was inevitable. He rubbed his chin and leaned forward, looking Matthew in the eyes.

He tilted his head and nodded again, he didn't disagree. The old way of the Sith was one of singular domination, a focus on the individual. He still believed that the individual was paramount, but there was an importance to attachments. Uplifting ones allies and those close to them was an important part of growing powerful. No Sith Lord accomplished what they had done in a vacuum. There was always someone there, and not understanding that was the height of foolishness.

Wake smiled a toothy smile at the suggestion that Dark and Light were intertwined, absolute, eternally connected. He both agreed and disagreed. There were periods of time where one was more potent than the other and eventually there would be a flip. It had happened once, but soon, he knew in his heart, it would happen again. When the Shadow consumed the galaxy, he would be there, and when the shadow was blotted out once more by the light, he would be there as well. He had forseen it.

Wake's hair fluttered about his face as those magnificent wings flapped. His green eyes relaxing a little.

He sighed, "I honestly don't know why you care, Matthew." Wake said with a shake of his head, "I'm not your student, and I'm sad to say that although I agree with you, I understand you, and I hear your words... my path is set, Matthew." He said and tilted his head to the right, offering what appeared to be a sad smile, "I am Sith, now, and I have a calling. I feel it. I am being summoned to do something greater than myself, to play a role in this galaxy. It's a shame I have to be your enemy. I do like you."

Matthew of Valendale

 

[Matthew of Valendale]

TAGS: Darth Nwul

Matthew knew he was being placated in this present moment.

"You always have a choice to be better than what you are, to make amends, to alter the course of the future," Matthew's voice carried a quiet resolve as he spoke. He leaned forward slightly, his eyes never leaving Wake's.

"You want to belong to something, to have a purpose? This 'vision' of yourself, isn't the best you can truly be," he continued, his tone filled with understanding. "Perhaps you're convinced this is your own idea..."

"I care because I see potential in everyone, Wake," Matthew replied softly, his voice carrying a subtle sincerity. "Even those who have chosen the path of the Sith can find their way back to the light if they so desire. The Force is not a rigid master; it allows for change and redemption."

As he spoke, Matthew's eyes bore into Wake's, conveying not judgment but a genuine belief in the possibility of transformation. "Your path may be set for 'now,' but the future is uncertain, and you have the power to shape it. If ever you find yourself questioning the darkness that surrounds you, remember that there is always a choice. And when you find your self alone in this galaxy.... I will be there. "

With these words, Matthew extended a hand of friendship, a bridge across the chasm of opposing ideologies. His actions were unwavering to his faith in the capacity for change, even in the face of adversity. Though the present conversation hinted at future conflict, his gesture held the promise of reconciliation and the hope of a shared journey toward a brighter galaxy.