Private Identity

[Nylea Apollodor]

Violence
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Uncertainty. Doubt.

For years, Nylea had struggled with those two things. They would take the form of personal demons created from her past and were simply too strong to overcome. She had grown since then, learned to handle those darker thoughts, and while the battle was never truly over, she was now the one with the upper hand. Her hard work had gotten her here, a woman dedicated to not just doing her part in healing the galaxy, but healing herself as well. The echani even dared to say that she had found happiness.

That healing process wasn't one Nylea had walked alone, though. With Elisea Korrado by her side that path had become much less scary. As their relationship blossomed into what it was now, they became each other's safe haven, building each other up. Not a day went by without the echani remembering how lucky she was. She still couldn't believe they were engaged.

But despite her personal growth, where her personal worries had been all but conquered, new doubt and uncertainty formed. As the fires of war began to rise across the galaxy once more, the various Jedi orders became involved as well. By virtue of their chosen allies, however, they were now divided. The Galactic Alliance continued to side with the New Imperials, while the Silver Jedi had now struck an alliance with the Sith Empire.

All Nylea could do was watch it all happen. She wasn't part of any order, not any that still existed, but to her, all who carried the title of Jedi were connected. With everything that was taking place now, the echani had begun to doubt her place as a Jedi. This wasn't anything like the Jedi way she had been taught. None of it.

These thoughts had, once again, overwhelmed her mind. She mindlessly paced through the living room of her and Elisea's apartment, until a realization hit her. She knew someone who she could talk to about all this. After finding her holodevice, she sat down in a chair, and pinged the man in question.

Hopefully he was around to answer.

Wyatt Morga ​

 

[Wyatt Morga]

So little to do.​

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Peace once had Wyatt so busy, day to day raising the station up to what it was now - there was almost never a dull moment. He remembered how often his conversations would seem to roll from one into the next - when none was busier than he was. When he had made Ryv the Sword of the Jedi, helped make himself the temporary Grandmaster, and tried desperately to unify the Jedi.​

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Almost like a father who’s children had outgrown him however, he lay quiet in his room. The lights were dimmed, nigh dark - while he lay covered in fresh bandages and an iv drip of bacta that steadily filled him with healing compounds his body desperately needed. Even with it, his recovery would not be so simple - his wounds ran farther than a cut or broken bone, of both he had many.​

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Whenever he had too long of a moment to think of himself, when his eyes would close and he’d drift into throught - he would only see Atollon. Malformed and malignant hellscapes full of the Bryn’adul abominations - attacking him ceaselessly, driving him farther and farther on the backfoot until he was nothing more than running away to survive. Where once when he closed his eyes he only saw the Force in its entirety - now he only saw the worst of it, brought to bear on planets that never deserved such a fate.​

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He jerked forward in a cold sweat, nearly taking the iv drip from his skin. Across his room his desk flared to life - a small and pleasant ringer letting him no someone wanted his attention. While his mind wandered through numerous faces of who it could have been - Wyatt decided it wasn’t all that important to know who as he struggled to stand. On the other end, it would seem almost like he was ignoring them - but the reality was he simply was slow on the draw now, a mere shadow of his former self.​

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As the once grandmaster sat infront of his desk, he answered the call and gave a pleasantly surprised smile to the caller on the other end -​

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“Nylea!”, he said with a surprise. He enjoyed seeing those seemingly so far gone so close - if even through nothing more than a hologram.​

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“You look -”​

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Wyatt had wanted to tell her she looked wonderful - that she was doing well for herself, and make a joke about how he wasn’t in all too much the same condition. Broken and aging, he was hardly the Knight he once was; but before he could even make a joke at his own expense, he could see the worry lines in her face, quiet and almost withheld.​

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“- like something is bothering you. Is something the matter?”, Wyatt said with a bit more restrained focus - leaning forward in spite of the IV drip that stuck to him.​

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Nylea Apollodor​

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

A faint smile awaited Wyatt as Nylea's projection greeted him. She wasn't sure how busy he was, or how he was doing in the first place, but from what she last knew he was a very busy man. When the echani heard his greeting, though, he looked worse for wear. He had been through quite a lot, at least physically.

"Master Morga, I do hope I am not interrupting anything important," Nylea opened with an apologetic tinge in her voice. He had immediately figured out that something was the matter from just a hologram image somehow, too. The last thing she wanted was to instill any worry in him. From the looks of it, he had more than enough to deal with already, though it was less in the way of paperwork and more in the way of recovery.

"I did want to talk about something, yes, but before anything else, are you okay? You look like you have been to the Netherworld and back," Nylea remarked. Despite everything, she still placed other people's ailments above her own, no matter which shape they took. "Do take it slow while you heal, there is no need to strain yourself. I wanted to talk about everything that has been happening with the Jedi of the galaxy, but I would not want to burden you too much."

Wyatt Morga ​

 

[Wyatt Morga]

“On the contrary, Nylea -”, Wyatt said with a quick glance to the darkened room around him.​

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“- I have quite a bit of free time at the moment. You’re not interrupting a thing, I promise.”​

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His attention came back to her with his almost signature smile - warm and inviting, kind and encouraging; if it were not for his slightly sunken cheeks, and the paleness of his skin, or the scars that ran across much of his skin he would be a welcome sight. He was, however, not so welcoming looking fresh from the field of battle.​

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“I was…”, he paused as he considered his words. Would he lie to the Knight to make her less concerned for him, or self depreciate for the mistake that cost so many more their stability.​

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“... on Atollon. I tried, poorly, to end the Bryn’adul threat. It was a mistake to think I could do it alone.”, Wyatt offered with a downturn of his gaze. It was quick, short, and to the point - but it carried with it a shame that weighed on him heavier than anything he had ever done.​

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He let her continue in silence - listening to her words and concerns, trying to parse their meaning. Her concern for him, however, seemed to seep into every word - and what likely started as hopeful council turned into a Scarlet Lotus Jedi seeking to heal another once again.​

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It brought a smile to Wyatt’s lips again, forgetting his woes for a moment.​

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“Do not worry about me, Nylea. An empty cup cannot continue to pour, as Master Tiland Kortun might say; and I’d hate for you to try. Please, tell me whats concerning you about the Jedi.”​

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Though he could make a guess. Coren Starchaser had become the Grandmaster of the Silver Jedi in his absence, and with it he became beholden to their political obligations. It was unfortunate they had so many controversies that he now had to stand behind; as every Jedi in the galaxy judged him for every word he uttered.​

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Nylea Apollodor​

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Nobody could fight a war on their own. Even as someone who had sworn to never take part in conflict, such a notion came to Nylea as common sense. Yet still did she search for a way to be able to say that master Morga had not made a mistake by doing what he had done. He was a wise man and though every soul made mistakes, it was nearly impossible for the echani to let the fact that the same was true for the wisest of Jedi sink in. Trying to see the best in all people was something Nylea found comfort in, but it all too easily led to seeing everything with rose-tinted lenses.

"I... I see," the echani replied, her voice carrying with it a sense of empathy. "However, you are still here with us, despite everything. I am thankful for that." Too many good people returned to the Force too soon. Luckily, the Jedi master's time had not yet come. Life was too precious to be cut short.

"But I suppose I do neglect myself sometimes," she added concedingly. "My gi- fiancé has to remind me to care for my own wellbeing a little too often." A slightly nervous chuckle escaped her lips. While she was the one who wanted to talk, she now instinctively tried to steer the conversation away from the very topic she had been wishing to address. Master Morga asked Nylea to speak her mind, though, and so she obliged.

"The reason why I called is because..." She paused for a moment, looking for the words that fit her thoughts. After a short moment of silence, she continued.

"A galactic conflict brews, death and decay awaits us, but the Light has not unified like it used to. The Jedi of the galaxy are divided, taking different sides. There always have been differences, of course, but this... I am worried." Her voice had become shaky as her head hung low, staring at her hands down in her lap. There was no more eye contact, the echani couldn't bear it.

Following the dissolution of the Sacred Lotus, Nylea decided to continue her duties as a Jedi, but not as part of a new order. Yet still, she held the title and those who held it in high regard. To her, all Jedi were connected, but now that sacred bond was frailer than it had ever been in her lifetime.

"I am not sure what is becoming of the Jedi. I want to have faith, but it is becoming difficult."

Wyatt Morga ​

 

[Wyatt Morga]

“... it is becoming difficult.”​

​

Wyatt leaned back in his chair with a repressed groan - the pain of his ribs being broken in more places than he had time to count forcing pain in almost every movement. For a moment, he looked down - as though the Master was in thought, though it was a subtle way to not worry Nylea of his sharp pain. When he recuperated, he glanced back up and spoke evenly - a tone she would recognize, and one that almost surprised him. He hadn’t taken it since he talked Cedric Grayson out of his crusade on the Sith after Ession was genocided.​

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“The Jedi are… the Jedi.”, Wyatt offered with a deep compassion.​

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“We have never been simple, never been so easy to come to terms with the problems we face even when they are so obviously in front of us. Consider Alek and Revan - who despite the wise guidance of the Council searched for a threat they knew existed but could not directly prove.”, he said, thinking it ironic he would use two of the most notorious Sith in history as an example for Jedi teachings.​

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“While the threat looks us in the eyes more directly this time, many are… stuck in politics.”, he sighed.​

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“What specifically bothers you, Nylea?”​

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Nylea Apollodor​

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Nylea listened, and agreed. The words were honest and coming from someone the likes of master Morga, validated the worries she had for the division she saw forming. That which ailed the galaxy required a response, different collectives walked different paths. It was important to remember one's values and not to compromise them, even when others disagreed, but the views of those in leadership were becoming too rigid to find each other. At the same time, decisions were being made that Nylea simply did not understand.

"The alliances that have been struck in recent times, they leave me worried beyond the division of the Jedi. The Galactic Alliance and Silver Concord both sided with empires, but all I have seen are battles fought between these empires." The echani's head cast downwards. She had been taught that Jedi were keepers of peace. Fighting alongside an empire against another didn't promote peace.

"I see the Jedi falling apart over an argument over who is the greater evil, and forgetting the nature of the one they see as the lesser," Nylea finally added to her explanation. She was the furthest from a politician, but still struggled to understand how supporting either the New Imperials or the Sith benefitted the greater good.

Wyatt Morga ​

 

[Wyatt Morga]

She wasn’t wrong, as much as Wyatt perhaps hoped she was. That he could wave his hand, explain to her it was all a misunderstanding and the Jedi stood on the same side - the right side, and the galaxy was as simple as it ever was. The reality was -​

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He was wrong.​

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Once, things were simple; the Light versus the Dark, a common goal of stamping out evil like Darth Sidious and the Empire, or even the Yuuzhan Vong and their endless onslaught. Yet now, they stood facing a threat that had the potential to be just that; and the Jedi bickered over who they should side with.​

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Wyatt sighed and shook his head;​

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“You’re observant, Nylea. The Jedi are riddled with those who carry great chains - long-held bias against one empire or the other, perpetuated by transgressions never settled.”, he sighed.​

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“Many Jedi know the Sith are a threat - many believe they can be stopped by siding against their enemies, but many more realize the trivility of their war. You and I among them.”, Wyatt offered with some quiet hope that solidarity would encourage her.​

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“Your concerns are grounded and valid; but Jedi rarely agree. I believe some zealots in the Order are only vocal when it benefits the New Imperial Order, while others still forget the atrocities the Sith Empire has committed - and that saving them will somehow encourage them to save us. Both are fools, Nylea.”​

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Wyatt shook his head - annoyed at the recollection of the argument so many had. Words were thrown back at each other over which evil was a better evil, how Jedi foolishly threw their weight behind the political interest of their own enemies. It was ignorance driven out of fear - and when he realized that, he realized he had done much the same with his own attempted assassination of Tathra.​

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He sighed again -​

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“I do not have the authority I once did, Nylea. I won’t have you believe my word is law, nor that it is even the wisest council, but I believe the Jedi will find their way with the right guidance. To be the Galaxy’s peacekeepers, not its weapons as other empires would have us be. In time, I hope to speak to Coren Starchaser and others about this - but for now, I just want you to have faith in the Order as a whole.”​

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“Maybe not today, but they will find the right path. With all of our help.”​

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Nylea Apollodor​

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Perhaps master Morga was right. Nylea wasn't all too close with any order or the various Jedi within them the way she used to, and distance removed nuance out of a picture. What she saw were the official statements, the leading figures speaking out, but not all the other people that also had their own opinions. It was almost scary how easy it was to forget opinions within a single order could differ greatly. This wasn't just one collective in conflict with another, and she was not the only one who believed taking either of those two sides was wrong.

Faith and patience. As weary as Nylea was, she needed to hold on to those two things.

She carefully lifted up her head and nodded absent-mindedly. "That is good to hear. It is all too easy to think you are alone sometimes," the echani said, careful optimism coating her words. "I will continue my own efforts in the Outer Rim, but keep an eye out as I have been doing." While the focus of most people was placed on the Tingel Arm, there were still many more worlds that required aid. She was only one woman, but she did what she could.

"Though, may I ask you for one thing? It is nothing much, I simply wished to ask you to keep me posted. It is difficult to see the full picture of the situation, sometimes."

Wyatt Morga ​

 

[Wyatt Morga]

“I…”, he began.​

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He wasn’t in tune with Jedi politics any longer - and his perceived abandonment of their order, or the reality of his attempted martyrdom, likely ostracized him from many circles the Jedi held. Leave alone the harsh reputation many of the Silver’s held against him for his self declaration as Grandmaster.​

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But, he offered her a smile none the less. For her sake, and many others, he would offer what reassurance he could, do what Wyatt was able to do to help guide the galaxy to a safe and proper outcome. All he hoped was it would be enough.​

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“... will do everything I can, Nylea. I’ll do it for you, and all the other Jedi who need me.”​

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Nylea Apollodor​

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

In a time where Nylea found it difficult to connect with fellow Jedi, she was thankful to know master Morga. As content as she was with the home she had now, the creed she lived by would always remain a pillar of her way of life. The state of the Jedi at large mattered greatly to the echani.

"Thank you. I have felt... disconnected from the Jedi in the last few months, but this talk has given me hope," Nylea remarked. The galaxy moved quickly and it was difficult to keep up with it sometimes. While the little world she shared with Elisea made for a safe haven, she still heard the galaxy's call. There was always more work to be done. Hopefully the Jedi of the galaxy would return to that soon as well.

Before Nylea could continue she would be surprised by an alarm that went off, sending her into high alert for a moment before remembering what it was for. "Right," she remarked mostly for herself as she reached out to the clock and gave it a tap, making the beeping cease.

"I am so sorry. I am meeting with our wedding planner, so I have to get ready to leave soon." When she proposed to Elisea, she hadn't realized how much time the 'simple' act of getting married was going to eat up. "There is lots to be done, still."

Wyatt Morga ​