Private If It Is Any Consolation

[Brandyn Sal-Soren]

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Wearing: Glitterstim Original
Equipment: Standard lightsaber (green)
Location: Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Tag: Lief


There was a lot at play in the life and mind of one Brandyn Sal-Soren. Juggling his growth as a Jedi, responsibilities with his family on Hapes, his allegiance to Queen Kha'la Daaray of Hapes and all that that entailed, the investigation into The New Way, the secret that he carried about his father's involvement in said organization, the impending dedication of his childhood home as a memorial to the cataclysm on Naboo and his growing relationship with Cybelle Elyance . It was. A lot.

It was all so much that Brandyn found himself meditating more and more. It was the only way to retain his calm and composure, to at least grant the air of being the Jedi he ought to be. Still, not more than ten minutes after leaving his small, humble place of lodging within the temple and a good hours worth of meditation, Brandyn found himself leaning against a wall behind one of the large, ornate pillars in the hall. He was short of breath. Hyper-ventilating if he were being honest.

Hands on knees, the young nobleman attempted to regain his composure, control his breathing. There seemed to be so little stability within his universe. Finger nails plucked away at the dark grey fabric looped around his thumbs. It was a distraction from the crumpling of his trousers from which he had gotten himself away.

"Keep it together, Sal-Soren," he said, accidentally out loud.

Eyes closed again, willing away the panic. Not all of this was his weight to bare alone. He knew this. But he also knew that he did not want his family to suffer. Perhaps there was some way to make things right, and they never needed to know. It was possibly a fool's errand. The irony of this mindset would not be lost on any that knew of his father's habit for digging his hole deeper with the hopes of digging through the problem entirely. Brandyn was oblivious to this commonly shared trait between father and son.

"Shiraya, help me. Force, guide me."

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[Lief]

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To say that he was exhausted would be an understatement. In every sense of the word, Eliphas Dune was drained. Mentally, physically, but especially emotionally, it was as though the life had been sapped from within him, and he looked even more gaunt and lifeless than usual. Given that he was in recovery following a long stint in a coma, that was saying a lot. He'd already been atrophied to nothing, face sunken. Now..? Now he was pale, eyes heavy and lower lids erring closer to grey than their usual skin tone. The whites of those eyes were red, from depravation of sleep and an overabundance of tears both.​

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He didn't even realize that he'd made it to the atrium until he was forced to move his hoverchair aside to accommodate the brief increase in foot traffic.​

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They'd had to kick him out of the psychiatric ward. How long he'd spent in there since returning, tireless in his vigil as he sat at Lissa's bedside, was hard to tell. The minutes blurred into hours into days. He wasn't even sure if he'd slept, or eaten more than a mouthful here and there. In her sedated state, Annalis hadn't even really woken up, and the one time he saw her eyes open she was far from lucid. Looked through him, not at him.​

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Seeing his younger sister in such a state was a whole other level of torture, even after everything else he'd faced. It was haunting, harrowing, and he was left feeling utterly helpless.​

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Behind him one of the orderlies from the Halls of Healing hurried forward, calling his name. He didn't pay any heed until the third time it was said, when the Twi'lek caught up with his hoverchair and placed a hand upon his back. Startled, he turned his head toward him. Whatever brief flicker of hope was held within his gaze fast disappeared; it wasn't news of his sister, he'd simply left behind his holopad. He took it wordlessly, brain barely running with enough processing power to blink much less speak, and before he could leave he was also handed a bottle of water.​

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"She wouldn't want you to waste away waiting" the Twi'lek said softly. He patted Eliphas' shoulder, and then turned to head back the way he'd come.​

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Left feeling rather aimless, he slipped the holopad back onto his wrist and stared at the bottle of water. Where had he even been headed? What was his plan exactly? Return to Bright Knight so that Miri and Starlin could remark on how he looked like chit? Find a corner to try and fall asleep in, and hope that the nightmares didn't rear their head again?​

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The atrium fast cleared, after all it wasn't like Jedi to hover around in such a place, they were busy, always had things to do, people to see, and places to go. His hoverchair was the anomaly there, that he lingered at all was odd. Yet as luck would have it, Eliphas soon discovered that he wasn't even the only one who was using the space as a tangible purgatory. With sounds dying down, the softly spoken words Force, guide me rang in his ears.​

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Something about the way in which it was uttered resonated within him; Eliphas directed his hoverchair over to the pillar he'd heard the remark coming from, unsure of why exactly he was opting to intrude on the affairs of another. Perhaps he was just longing for something else, someone else, to focus on, to worry about. It was easier to squash down the hellscape that had become his life than face it head on.​

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"Are you okay?" he asked, when he caught sight of the other Padawan who seemed to be held up solely by the pillar at his back, just as Eli was upright by virtue of the chair he was confined to. His voice was a little hoarse, maybe he really should have drank that water, but there remained a softness within it too.​

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Brandyn Sal-Soren ​

 

[Brandyn Sal-Soren]

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Wearing: Glitterstim Original
Equipment: Standard lightsaber (green)
Location: Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Tag: Lief


Distracted to the point of being oblivious to another's approach. Not very knightly. Brandyn chastised himself even as his weary eyes looked up at the hoverchair bound Jedi. "Yeah..."

It was a lie. He knew it. And he imagined the other tired looking young man would see through the lie immediately.

"...no...not really. But I guess the feeling is likely mutual."

If his gaunt, pale appearance was specific to his subset of the human species, Brandyn had just royally put his foot in it. But instinct said those eyes were not their natural state. There was a deep tiredness there. A soul weariness with which Brandyn felt instant connection.

"Pull up your chair," Brandyn said with a half attempt at a smile, "care to test out the maxim...misery and company and all that?"

"Brandyn," he said, by way of introduction. He left off the last name, just in case this was another that knew Briana well.

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[Lief]

After shifting his chair a little closer, Eliphas took a closer look at the man. Worn, weary, as though shouldering the weight of a world, it seemed as though the Force had led him to a kindred spirit. Or at least someone whose plight seemed to weigh similarly to his own.​

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"Eliphas" he retorted when introductions were made. One hand lifted and he rubbed at his eyes and stretched some life back into his limbs. "What happened?" he asked, as he plucked up the bottle of water. His gaze lingered down over it, before he offered it out to the other man. "Water?"​

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Eliphas wasn't entirely convinced that lingering within the atrium was the best decision, not least because Brandyn seemed to be barely hanging on. ​

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"Want to get out of here? Trade stories..?"​

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Brandyn Sal-Soren ​

 

[Brandyn Sal-Soren]

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Wearing: Glitterstim Original
Equipment: Standard lightsaber (green)
Location: Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Tag: Lief


"Thanks," Brandyn said, as he reached out and pulled the offered drink to his hand.

Undoing the lid, Brandyn stretched his back, and pushed off from the wall. "I was already trying to get out of here," he said ruefully, "clearly doing a terrible job of it too."

He sipped some of the water. It was surprisingly refreshing. It reminded him that he had probably not had anything to drink today at all.

"My ride to Naboo actually leaves pretty soon. I can't really be late...what's left of my family will never forgive me..."

Probably not wise to exaggerate his circumstances, but it was too late to be precise in his wording now.

"...feel free to walk with me if you want too...ah...sorry..."

Smooth, Brandyn.

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[Lief]

Brandyn was supposed to be leaving for Naboo. Yeah, he could see how lingering in the atrium wasn't a wise move for him then but from the looks of it he'd had quite the day, or maybe week... If not longer. The pair of them were a sight for sore eyes, weren't they? Haggard and sleep deprived.​

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"You can use my hoverchair for support, if you need?" he offered, as the other boy fought to get himself stood upright and ready to walk once more. The water seemed to help if nothing else, so Eliphas was glad he'd offered it out.​

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As for whether he'd walk with him, he obviously nodded in agreement.​

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"Come, lead the way and I'll make sure you don't miss your ride. I could probably use the fresh air anyway."​

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The ward had his comm deets, if anything happened with Lissa they'd be sure to contact him right away. They had promised, after all. And Eliphas hoped they'd keep to that promise.​

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Brandyn Sal-Soren ​

 

[Brandyn Sal-Soren]

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Wearing: Glitterstim Original
Equipment: Standard lightsaber (green)
Location: Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Tag: Lief


Taking the lead, and setting their path to one of the outer landing bays of the grounds, Brandyn offered only a smile and nod of appreciation to the offer of support. He really needed to be able to continue under his own locomotion. He was, after all, almost a Jedi Knight. He hoped.

"I'm afraid some of the weightier elements of my story I am not at liberty to disclose. They are part of the ongoing investigation into the anti-Force User movement known as The New Way. They were the ones responsible for the bombing in the commercial district not so long ago," said Brandyn.

The Sal-Soren cleared his throat, attempting in vain to reclaim it from the lump that had taken permanent residence there.

"I think perhaps I am attempting to split myself between too many responsibilities...and...I feel spread thin. If that makes sense."

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[Lief]

"There's no pressure" he assured the other Padawan, "You needn't share more than you can, or feel comfortable sharing, you just... You wear a cloak I know well." The heavy burden of responsibility and grief, an uncertainty for how things in the future would pan out. It was something he saw in his own reflection, the pair were mirrored like that even if the reason for it was thoroughly different.​

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As Brandyn led the way outside, Eliphas kept his chair hovering close at hand always there for the man to brace himself on. It was surprisingly warm outside, though Eli had been left feeling cold and out of touch ever since returning from Empress Teta. Probably since before then in truth, if he was being honest with himself. Anything could feel warm in comparison to that.​

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"It makes perfect sense to me" he whispered thoughtfully, glancing back over his shoulder to the Temple they were leaving. Lissa remained heavy upon his mind, his heart longed for her to awaken but he knew that it wasn't something to be rushed. "The Galaxy likes to test us, pull us in so many different directions that it's almost...dizzying. No, it is dizzying." There was no almost about it.​

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"Is there any way to lighten your load, even temporarily? Even just a little bit..?"​

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Brandyn Sal-Soren ​

 

[Brandyn Sal-Soren]

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Wearing: Glitterstim Original
Equipment: Standard lightsaber (green)
Location: Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Tag: Lief


The conversation was making the walk to his destination pass considerably faster than if he had been left alone with his thoughts. For this, he was already thankful. "I wouldn't ask anymore than you have given. If you wear burdens of similar weight...I would not ask you to bare mine."

A few moments passed in silence. Not awkward by any means, but rather pleasantly empty of pressure. Brandyn did however owe a follow up question. A question he would not leave unasked before their parting, which to his mind would come far too soon now.

"And your tests, my friend? What form do they take?" Brandyn said, offering his chair bound companion a somber glance.

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