Ill-conceived Desire

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 1
Location: Kashyyyk - Silver Rest, Hangar Bay

They came up on it while she was asleep.

Ashelia sprung out of bed like a Loth-cat when she realized that Kashyyyk was within the viewscreen. For the diminutive Elzeri, this was her first time in space. Quite unusual, considering the fact that she belonged to a race consisting mostly of space-dwelling nomads. Nevertheless, Ashelia was excited and eager to see a new planet from. Especially one which had a real wilderness, unlike Coruscant.

As the ship approached Kashyyyk, Ashelia took a seat in the co-pilot’s chair as Noriko flew the ship. Her wide and curious heterochromatic eyes were a perfect mirror of her emotions. As the ship began to enter the atmosphere, her mouth went slack jawed with astonishment when she saw the vessel’s deflector shields activate to protect the ship from the heat of reentry. Much like a little kid in a tunnel, Ashelia felt an overpowering sense of wonder and awe at what she was witnessing. She was almost saddened to see it end so soon when the ship entered the stratosphere, but it wouldn’t take long for even more vibrant wonders to reach her heterochromatic irises.

Green.

The entire planet was a sea of lush and abundant green. On Coruscant, Ashelia had been hard-pressed to find even a single plant amidst a neverending expanse of towering duracrete skyscrapers. Her apartment was located within the lower levels of the planet, where it was nigh-impossible for even a sliver of sunlight to penetrate the depths. Yet now, the sunlight that reached Ashelia’s eyes was so bright that she felt compelled to cover her eyes, which were thoroughly unused to being assailed by such gross incandescence. Even so, Ashelia resisted the urge to do so. She didn’t want to miss a single second of seeing the massive wroshyr trees and the pristine wilderness. Such sights were a strict premium on Coruscant, and it seemed almost unbelievable to Ashelia that people could live and breathe such clean air for free.

After a few minutes of flying in atmosphere, the freighter reached its destination: Silver Rest, the primary temple of the Silver Jedi Order. Immediately after the ship touched down, Ashelia headed into the back room to dress and groom herself. Clad within a pair of skintight leggings, black ankle boots, and a white long-sleeved crop top, Ashelia emerged from the ship with a small backpack strapped onto her form. her curious eyes rapidly taking in every detail of the hangar. Her gaze came upon industrious-looking droids of various models, along with a multitude of ships, all of which she had never seen before now. However, even as her eyes wandered the area, she kept her focus on primarily Noriko. The diminutive Elzeri did not want to lose track of the Atrisian woman, since she knew that she would clueless without her to guide the way.

At that moment, it dawned on Ashelia that she was one big step closer to becoming a Jedi...

Spoiler

[member="Noriko Ike"] and members of SJO who want to meet the wannabe Jedi.

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Ashelia"]

Noriko had led the ship down to the planet allowing herself to guide the ship and she liked the view... the padawan potentially was unknown to the world itself. The jedi herself though touched down and spoke. "Go and get ready." She rose up and stretched out. All of that time in the cockpit wasn't always fun but with the systems they had in place here it was something else as well. The hyperspace security network was a beast to monitor and see everything. THere was the shields and defenses the jedi would be able to use and she was getting her gear. A thigh survival pack and kit... her lightsaber staff hanging from her hip. "Welcome to the rest." She said it opening her arms to reveal all of it, there was a smirk on her face though looking at the smaller padawan potential and she had felt it after they had a chance during the trip. The girls force connection was barely there... well below the standard usually for a youngling but there were ways to try and help her. She might be able to work in the service corp or maybe being around some force users will stimulate her connection and awaken her.

 

[Sky'ito Yumi]

A knight, that was what she was now, a slowly rising senior of the order, and thus a person whom had to take some measure of responsibility in welcoming new members and Padawans while being a good first impression. To a certain extent, she had to delusions about the Silver being all prime and proper, but still it was nice to give any newcomers an idea for what the Order was like and what they valued, while presenting oneself as a reliable aid if needed. On this day she would be welcoming one of [member="Noriko Ike"]'s new students, an unknown person at this time, but if Sukai had to guess she assumed they were a women and probably a decent pilot to some extent, though such was just speculation. Donned in a traditional Jedi robe the still relatively young Riben-Jin Knight made her way out to the landing point for where the new arrivals would come in, a warm smile already on her face for which to greet the new padawan with.

[member="Ashelia"]

 

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 2
Location: Silver Rest, Hangar Bay - Kashyyyk
[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Sky'ito Yumi"]

Ashelia walked next to Noriko as a wide-eyed look once more came over her heterochromatic irises. As her gaze swept across the hangar bay, she saw a black-haired Jedi ([member="Sky'ito Yumi"]) with a blunt princess-cut hairstyle approach her, while presenting a warm smile on her pale features. Her tall and slender form was clad in the distinctly black robes of reminiscent of those of an Atrisian Jedi. Almost immediately, Ashelia lifted her arm and waved to the woman, feeling especially jovial given the novelty and excitement of her visit to Silver Rest.

“Hi!” She greeted the approaching Jin woman in a thoroughly delighted tone. “Ummm...I’m Ashelia.” She said with a bit more nervousness in her voice, as she remembered that it was customary to bow when meeting Jedi. Ashelia did so immediately, bending over at the hips for a brief moment before raising her stature back up into an erect position. “This place is so beautiful…” Ashelia commented idly, as she looked between the sharp gazes of the two taller women standing before her. “Where are we going first?” She finished cheerfully, seeming very eager to initiate her first steps to become a Jedi.

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Sky'ito Yumi"] [member="Ashelia"]

NOriko looked over as she saw... Tana... oh damn he was looking pretty today... wait or was that Sukai... damnable twin like siblings. She thought it with some humor but offered a smile and bow of her head going with the easier thing. "KNight Yumi." THere since both were knights is was a little easier though much like when they said Jedi Ike for a massive family of force user and most of them were jedi. SHe looked at Ashelia and spoke. "Well first we should see about getting you a room to be tested. THen we can go from there, I didn't have a watchmen's field kit for testing potential padawans sadly." She looked at Tana... Sukai. "If you would like to join us we could use another for the testing purposes."

 

[Sky'ito Yumi]

Well, she was certainly not expecting this, the new Jedi Padawan being quite the 'rounded' individual with chocolate dark skin combined with cotton candy hair and quite the long ears. One thing was for certain, she was quite unique and a surprise, though not an unwelcome one. "Welcome to the silver rest, I hope you have a nice time while studying here", she replied to the new Padawan as they gave a cheerful hello, Sukai giving the women a traditional bow of her people, flashing a slight smirk in return. Her focused turn back to [member="Noriko Ike"], giving her another small bow, "It is nice to see you again Master Ike, you have quite the interesting student". it would be interesting to see how the women's progression went. She kept to the side a little, looking on as the newcomer queried about what to start of with, "join you? very well am free at the moment", she replied to Master Ike, "but what do you mean by other testing process"?

[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Ashelia"]

 

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 3
Location: Silver Rest, Hangar Bay
[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Sky'ito Yumi"]

“Thank you both so much.” Ashelia replied in a grateful tone in response to black-robed woman’s greeting. “I hope to learn a lot, here.” She spoke with a wide grin crossing her brown features, feeling confident given the significant amount of preparation she had done for this specific day. “I’m so, so ready for this test. I’ve memorized the entire Jedi Code, along with the alternatively phrased variants too! You have no idea, how much I’ve studied the Force…” Ashelia declared joyfully with a little hop-step, feeling unable to contain her excitement at the prospect of becoming a Jedi within her short and curvy form.

She didn’t tell them she had memorized the Sith Code and studied the Dark side of the Force as well, perhaps even more than she had studied the Light. One could find anything on the holonet, provided they knew where to look.

"Also, if you don't mind me asking, what should I call you?" Ashelia spoke up, focusing her gaze on the Riben-Jin woman as she finished. "Master, I presume?"

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Sky'ito Yumi"] [member="Ashelia"]

Looking at the padawan potential as she walked and spoke. "In time yes though usually when a jedi recruits and bring another into the temple they aren't assigned as the master of them. At least depending on the current views of attachment." She said it and was looking at everything when she turned to see Sukai and spoke. "In the ecitement to bring her here.. I didn't notice how quiet the force was within her. I hoped to see if perhaps she had more latent talent or if being around force users would invigorate her abilities." She looked at Ashelia and she was so excited about this it was hard to say it but Noriko knew a few secrets of the force and knew many more from her family... namely they knew ways to restore or awaken the force in others.

 

[Sky'ito Yumi]

"It is not problem, and I bet you will learn quite a lot, I look forward to seeing your progression in our order", she was certainly excited about it, far from how entrance into the Silver Jedi was. Well technically she never joined the Silver, more just hung around them long enough to slowly meld into their Order. "Sure seemed you have taken time to study, always nice to see new students that are aware of their new home", they had plenty a newbies who never even contemplated the force, but for some reason wanted to be a Jedi. "As for what yo call me I am Jedi Knight Sukai'ito Yumi, though most people just called me sky for short, or Knight Yumi", as [member="Noriko Ike"] had said not a few moments ago. Speaking of which, "so master Ike, where do you plan to take [member="Ashelia"] first in the tour around the temple"?

 

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 4
Location: Silver Rest, Hangar Bay - Kashyyyk
[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Sky'ito Yumi"]

"Wherever the testing center is Master Yumi!" Ashelia interjected energetically in response to Sky'ito's question, seemingly ignoring Noriko's dim assessment of her lack of strength in the force. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to become a Jedi!", She added, as if to validate her right to be allowed entrance into the Silver Jedi Order, in lieu of her supposed insensitivity with the Force.

The diminutive Elzeri then looked between the two women, and crossed her arms over her plump bosom with a mild amount of annoyance at the two women's delay. Ashelia wanted very much to get on with the testing, so that she could prove through pure strength of will that she deserved to become a Jedi. Even if it was true that she wasn't sensitive to the Force, then she'd make herself sensitive to it. There was no obstacle or hardship that she couldn't overcome. She had worked so hard to get to the temple in the first place. Through the long nights spent reading obscure texts regarding the Force and the hundreds of futile attempts to awaken the Force within herself, Ashelia had discovered her true calling. That calling was far beyond the dark alleyways within the depths of Coruscant and the confined walls of her apartment. She envisioned herself growing stronger in the Force, channeling it within her body to exceed the normal limitations of the humanoid form, to sense danger before it struck, and to command the elements with merely a thought.

Ashelia wanted it now, but the most glaring obstacle to her success was one that she had not yet even acknowledged or recognized.

Impatience.

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Sky'ito Yumi"] [member="Ashelia"]

Noriko was looking and could feel impatience rolling off of Ashella but the jedi master raised an eyebrow and was going into the room to get it set up. "Patience padawan... patience. THere is much we might be able to do here and when it is done we can see where you might be able to go." Noriko was standing there though as she brought out a few things. A feather to practice push feather a low level skill and an image caster. "Alright we are looking for something. I don't want to discourage you but there is only a few things I might be able to do." She said it and was looking at the girl while motioning for Suaki to come around and look at her. "FIrst thing is stand in the center and clear your mind... reach out with your thoughts and try to connect with me and tell me the images on the screen when you are ready to proceed."

 

[Sky'ito Yumi]

Sukai turned back to [member="Ashelia"] with a small shake of the hands, "No master, I am Just a Knight here, if you must call me Knight Yumi, or just Yumi-san", she was still very far away from becoming a master, she was only 22, most masters in the order were at least 25 and over. It seemed though the new arrival was a bit to, to the point, not a bad attitude but she was being a little immature, hopefully they did not have some grand view that becoming a Jedi was easy, that would have been quite the kick in the teeth.

At least Noriko was understanding and willing to get things started already running her through one of the very basic force exercises given to new additions to the Order, at the very least it would tell them if the girl had aptitude in the force. Even if ti was minor there was good in training, her own brother was currently the master of a restricted force user, his Padawan only able to use telekinesis and nothing else, so it was not usually to have students become Jedi who were not always 100% able to fill the role of a Jedi.

[member="Noriko Ike"]

 

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 5
Location: Silver Rest, Meditation Room - Kashyyyk
[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Sky'ito Yumi"]

After the small trio entered the meditation room, Ashelia immediately went silent and stared at the minimalist and naturally-lit surroundings inside the room. Norkio’s gently spoken directions seemed to have a calming effect on the normally hyperactive Elzeri, and as a result, the little woman took a series of deep breaths.

“Yes, Master Ike.” She answered calmly as she walked to the very center of the room and closed her eyes. Ashelia had done this exact same exercise hundreds times before during her own independent study of the Force via the Holonet and with an imagecaster she had at her apartment. Try as she might, she had only succeeded twice, and those had both been lucky guesses on her part. She had read, studied, and executed the various techniques for centering oneself in order to prime herself to feel the waves of the Force. Meditation was of paramount importance. It helped her reach a deep state of relaxation, thereby clearing her mind so that the Force could flow freely into her psyche. For a short time, Ashelia did just that. She meditated to set her mind at peace, to let go of the overwhelming sense of impatience she had felt, the anxiety, and the excitement. Then, she set them aside.

All emotion ceased to exist.

Having read and studied numerous esoteric texts regarding the Force on the Holonet, Ashelia knew what would happen when one felt the waves of the Force. Although the experience of feeling the Force for the first time was unique for every individual, there were many commonalities to be found within each of them. Ashelia knew what they were, and if she had felt them, she might have leapt out in joy at the sensation. However…

She felt nothing.

There was no sense of awakening or a sudden clarity. The meditation only left her feeling empty, waiting for something to fill the void which she had cleared free of emotion and disturbance in anticipation of welcoming a certain cosmic guest. Even so, for an entire hour, Ashelia remained in a deep state of meditation and serenity, not bothering to take a seat or open her eyes for the entire duration of time. She had known that this wouldn’t be easy from the moment she decided to follow her dream of becoming a Jedi. It would take time, patience, diligence, and unceasing effort. One did not become strong in the Force overnight, or even within the span of a year. Regardless, no matter how long it took, she knew for certain would eventually discover the Force. Of that, there was no question.

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Sky'ito Yumi"] [member="Ashelia"]

Noriko sat dow to watch, allowing the force to whisper for her while she was looking at the imager to allow the padawan to try and view it. She wanted to test her and really push her and get the force to awaken within her. She waited the time and didn't falter when the time went on. A small amount of time passed and then more while she waited to allow the padawan to connect and work her meditations. She was breathing in and feeling the force itself come out from her while she didn't make a face but she was allowing her hand to motion towards Sukai with a nod of her head. "Are you alright padawan?" She wanted to know and there was other things they could do but she didn't know what the options might be.

 

[Sky'ito Yumi]

Sukai just continued to observe, taking her own notes, such an example of training would serve well in the future, there would be a time she'd become a master and have to train all manners of different padawans. Getting different ideas from other would be a good way to learn such stills for the future, in this case they were dealing with a slightly impatient student that seemed to be a little frustrated, at least that was the feeling she got from the women as they sat down and tried to undergo Noriko's exam. It was not hard to see that them struggling a little, herself unable to sense any real reaction in the force as the women sitting nearby meditated. She just hoped the lack of immediate progress didn't put a damper on their enthusiasm. Still it would be a waiting game, she shouldn't judge so easily, Sukai kneeling on the ground in, hands folded in her lap, continuing to observe [member="Ashelia"] in an almost silent manner, aside from Master Ike one again piping up.

[member="Noriko Ike"]

 

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 6
Location: Silver Rest, Meditation Room - Kashyyyk
[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Sky'ito Yumi"]

The lids of Ashelia’s heterochromatic eyes opened in a sudden manner, and the Elzeri took a series breath as she emerged from the trance of her standing meditation. Suddenly finding that her legs ached beneath her, the diminutive yet curvy woman let herself drop to the floor in a semi-controlled fall before she positioned her legs in a sitting posture. Beads of sweat dripped from her brow, and the young woman seemed evidently exhausted. She glanced up at Noriko when she spoke, her features shifting into a nervous expression as she listened.

“I...I...couldn’t feel it. I tried, master, I just...it didn’t come…” Ashelia replied, tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke. “I tried so hard...I know what I’m supposed to be looking for, I know how to meditate and open myself up to the Force, but...it didn’t want to come...” Ashelia finished. By now, tears began to stream down her sweaty cheeks and stain her makeup. She made a cursory effort to wipe her face, but it only seemed to ruin her makeup more.

“Master...what do I do?!” Ashelia cried out suddenly, feeling utterly despondent at her failure. Like a broken dam, all emotion flowed back into the void which Ashelia had opened within herself in order to prime herself to sense the Force. Yet more tears streamed from her cheeks as she cried, placing her head within her hands in a futile effort to conceal the extent of her emotion. She had tried for so long just to feel the Force, and yet nothing had worked. Even in the presence of two Jedi, the Force had refused to flow into her awareness. It simply neglected her, like one would an unwanted child. A sudden wave of jealousy and rage came over her, and she felt the urge to scream out in fury and indignation at whatever cosmic forces saw fit to spurn her.

Before Noriko and Sukai could do anything to stop it, Ashelia let out a shrill, banshee-like wail which echoed across the chambers of the meditation room like an orchestra. Her emotion had been bottled up for so long, that she couldn’t help but to release it in a savage, yet disquieting howl. She pounded her fists against the ground, as she continued to scream, as a sense of absolute despair developed in the wake of her cries...

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Sky'ito Yumi"] [member="Ashelia"]

Noriko was watching her and paused as she felt something rolling off of her. The force alerting her before she was focusing to protect herself from the scream and the tears. The jedi master moved quickly and with little motion as she knelt down next to her. "It is goign to be alright." She was feeling in the force while remaining there with her and Noriko focused the force out of herself to be calming but she spoke wanting to look at her. "It is okay padawan, it is goig to be okay." She looked over towards Sukai with a look on her face wanting something that can be presented to them. She was thinking about what could be done but just opened her arms for the girl and embraced her trying to sooth and calm her down. "I didn't know if it would work but there are ways to help. I am not going to try and destroy your dream but it is dangerous if you are not careful." She was thinking about it and if this was really the path Ashelia wanted to go down... she knew things... her family knew ways and there was always a chance that latent force abilities could be awakened with the right stimuli.

 

[Sky'ito Yumi]

That feeling, she had felt it all before, but any reaction came to late as the sudden wail came from the grounded women, almost forcing her to reel back from the sudden outburst, it reminded her of force scream of another similar power, the shout was just that strong, Sukai taking a moment to recover. This was dangerous, such uncontrolled emotions could lead her down a dark path, any Sith would love to take advantage of such desperate attempt to become one with the force, that anger would make her strong, but unstable. Thankfully Noriko acted quickly, embracing the bust padawan before any more damage could be done, Sukai breathing a sight of relief but staying on guard for the time being, slowly walking back over to the two.

"[member="Ashelia"], do not be frustrated, many people have struggled with understanding the force and using it, my own mother spent decades trying to work around it and only in the last 10 years has started to progress, before that she was stagnant, unable to get over certain boundaries". "Though you a different in more ways then one such a challenge is not unique, this is only your first day, do not be surprised if it takes weeks or months to finally connect with the force". She hoped that small amount of council would help her calm down, but considering the strong cry let out not a few moments ago Sukai had a sneaking suspicion that the girl did have the potential.

[member="Noriko Ike"]

 

[Ashelia]

Ashelia
Post 7
Location: Silver Rest, Meditation Room - Kashyyyk
[member="Noriko Ike"] [member="Sky'ito Yumi"]

Even the sensation of Bogan’s dark touch eluded her amidst a sea of rage and despair. She could feel neither dark nor light, both of which had abandoned her in spite of weeks of practice and study beforehand. Ashelia had known that she would need to demonstrate a capacity to feel and manipulate the Force before arriving at Silver Rest. Yet, she could not even accomplish the easiest and most basic part of that directive. She wondered if she would ever be able to accomplish of dream of becoming a Jedi, and if so, what more she would need to sacrifice in order to see her dream manifest into reality.

“Your mother could feel the Force in the first place, though. I can’t!” Ashelia cried in response to Sukai’s statement. “I’ve already spent weeks and months studying and trying my karking hardest to accomplish just this insignificant feat, and I still failed! The Force is still ‘quiet’ within me, and there’s nothing...I can do...”

Yet more tears streamed from Ashelia’s eyes, as she put her face in her palm of her hands.

“Master Ike...whatever it is...I’ll do it! I don’t care how dangerous or stupid or far-fetched it is! I’ve been working towards this my whole life!” Ashelia continued. “Just...please...tell me what I need to do, where I need to go, who I need to talk to, and I’ll do it! I’ll do all of it and I’ll give it everything I have and more! Masters...I’m going to become the most powerful Jedi this galaxy has ever seen! This won’t stop me, nothing will stop me, and anyone who says otherwise can kark off!” Ashelia shouted, feeling a surge of renewed motivation and ambition amidst the pits of her desperation.

 

[Noriko Ike]

[member="Sky'ito Yumi"] [member="Ashelia"]

Noriko listened to her and she sat there... that sort of attitude could be dangerous but she was checking it out and remained looking at her. "It is dangerous and not too far fetched. Based on initial reports and tests that had been documented it is actually highly successful albeit something that can be dangerous to those who unaware of the dangers." Noriko looked at her and she spoke. "But that attitude will be dangerous, it is not only something that could corrupt you it is something that can and will get into your mind when there is a problem with the darkside." She said it but stood up and offered a hand. "Come on, we can get to the rift easily enough but getting through the gate does require some power." She looked towards Sukai with a nod. "I could use your help."