Varus Shatterstar
Finding Purpose
Naboo
Moonlight District
1:48AM
I'm at the edge of the world...
Where do I go from here?
Do I just disappear?
Edge of the world.
Do I sink or swim?
Or simply disappear?
The night might have been more beautiful had Varus not decided to practically drown himself in whiskey and just about any other alcoholic beverage offered to him at the bar. He'd made friends rather quickly, and they'd taken part in some drinking games, story telling, and jokes that had filled his night with smiles and laughter that had done him good for a short time. No matter how hard he laughed, though, it seemed like his thoughts only got darker and his heart weighed heavier on him still. It was as if he was bearing Naboo on his shoulders, and he was exhausted by it. He'd spent too much time doing whatever came next instead of searching for purpose, and it was all catching up to him on that very same night.
It was a beautiful night, though, something he'd managed to notice even through blurry eyes. He'd woken to a brilliant sun, and tonight he was watching as a vibrant moon glared back at him. That was enough to at the very least distract him from his thoughts of the negative that revolved around his aimless lifestyle and getting nowhere fast, but not forever. Eventually his mind would drift to other things and become distracted, lose it's air and slowly it would drift back down from the skies above to hit a literal rock bottom. He could only hope that whatever gods did exist, they smiled down on him and saw it fit that he land on soft grass or the cool waters of the ocean.
He wasn't as low as he'd ever been, but he wasn't exactly flying high. There was uncertainty in his heart, and that uncertainty bred fear for the unknown, not knowing what would become of him if he didn't have a simple, low grade mechanics shop to fall back on. He'd fallen in love with the place when he was a boy, and now as the owner got older and worked less, he was running out of excuses to keep Varus out of the shop. He didn't have much money, that Varus knew, but he couldn't rightly work for free either. There just wasn't enough he could do to make his employer, who'd been like a father to him, have a successful and flourishing business. It was so bad that if he was going to continue to work, he might even have to do it and simply have an extra place to stay as payment, though he knew the man would have never turned him away to begin with.
He'd had enough. He was mad at the Galaxy, mad at Naboo, mat at life even, and he didn't know where else to go. He couldn't leave the shop, but he'd sunk too much time in it already and he wasn't able to live on appreciation. It wasn't fair, and as he sipped on his almost empty glass of whiskey he glanced down at it, realizing that his life was about as empty as the cup from which he sipped. It made his face turn solemn as he reached up with his free hand steadied himself as he pulled himself over the railing to the path he was on. When he reached the other side he scaled the steps down next to the water, pulled off his boots and socks and sat down on the last step, letting his legs slip down into the water. He then laid back against the steps, reaching up with either arm and resting his elbows on the steps behind him as his sapphire eyes watched the moon and took in the peaceful sight, realizing the depths of the peace and quiet he was afforded for the first time in a long time.
There wasn't a time he remembered he'd been so relaxed and relieved as he was in that moment, as if the waters that soaked into his skin had absorbed every worry he'd been holding on to... every pain he'd ever suffered of... every fear he'd ever hidden from...