Introspective Ruminations (Solo Thread)

[WolfMortum]

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Veiere Arenais' Personal Studio,​

The Eldritch Mountains, Estate of House Arenais,​

Commenor.​

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The World of Commenor and the impact as well as it's significance that it held for Veiere Arenais could not have defied his expectations for the future any more so than the changes that had come down upon his livelihood in the last few years; His beloved wife [member="Lady Kay"] and he had turned their eyes upon the small world of trade following their days within service to the Galactic Republic, Kay who sought to run for the presidency and would find herself voted in under democratic favor and Veiere Arenais for whom had stood at her side not as her Husband but as her bodyguard.

To look back on memories such as these often brought a chuckle up from within, the heart warming memories of what had not only been simpler times but the beginning of a journey for which he could not imagined being graced with in such splendor. Over the recent months that had passed, Kay had given birth to their beautiful twins [member="Caedyn Arenais"] and [member="Loreena Arenais"], both of them first time parents though neither of them inexperienced with parenting given that [member="Bradshaw Ku"] and [member="Rae-Anna Ku"] had been taken in by Kay and her former husband; coupled with this, Veiere's experience in training students within the Jedi Order gave him hope that the challenges that lay ahead were to be manageable at the least.

Today however was a day of quiet reflection in the peaceful silence that was their home within the hills overlooking the Capital, Chasin City and the agricultural marvel that were her surrounding plans with the exception of the Illaria Woodlands off to the east. From his private office, the view took his gaze across the verander to stare off into the vibrant world, their estate and the wonderful architecture only complimented by their home-world for which the twins would hopefully grow to love and know a life of ease and comforts they so deserved.

Kay had taken the twins out for the day to visit the City and catch up with her colleagues. Very few people had met the twins thus far, [member="Darlyn Excron"] had of course seen to it that she were escorted with the best of their guard, perhaps a little "overly-protective uncle" in him coming out to play in their favor, of which Veiere had not argued in the slightest. He was glad for his wife to have taken time away from their responsibilities in leadership, it was the first time she'd been away from work across Commenor and the Systems Alliance and while she often found herself stressed and knowing not what to do with herself, it gave Veiere a hint of the retirement they once joked about back in the early days of their relationship and Commenor's position as a single world government.

With everyone else out of the house, Veiere found himself with a little more time than usual to reflect on the passed affairs, struggles and challenges they'd over come; as well as the future for which was ever changing within the Flow of the Force and the realm of possibilities that were possible through the cause and effect of he and his loved ones.

 

[WolfMortum]

Veiere's position over the Commenor Systems Alliance had been a difficult one, not in the sense of fulfilling his duty or whether or not he could step up to the job's demands itself but in the sense of his personal conflict and former convictions to the Jedi Order of the Deneba Enclave and the organization he had served for the majority of his life. Kay had understood his reluctance to integrate his life within political affairs; as High King over such a wealth of people, a vast number of worlds under their umbrella of care and protection, his ability to serve in a fashion similar to that of Jedi had been further enabled through their financial wealth and power of authority and place of supposed nobility yet at the same time it was easily perceived to conflict with his and many others views of what the Jedi Code had taught of those devoting themselves to the way of the Jedi and to the Force.

Sat upon the table before him were two immensely valuable items, both of great sentimental worth to himself but also significant to any who sought to delve into the mysteries of the Force, whether the Light of the influence of the Dark-side. To his right, sat an age old codex once thought to have been lost to the Order; The Jedi Path. The ancient text was a manual to students of the light, an introduction and explanation over what the Jedi Order had meant to become, the teachings and ideals for which they had striven to uphold for what they believed were the better interests of the Galaxy. Beside this old ledger, sat Veiere's Personal Holocron, the artifact of personal design for which within held every bit of knowledge and experience that he had gained over the years of his training and service to the Force, with the exception of the last year that had passed....

In that time Veiere's devotion had wavered. It was not the first time this had happened, all Jedi whom devoted themselves would at times come upon moments of doubt and inner conflict, it was only natural to question things as one delved deeper into the moral animosities that the Galaxy would throw at them, the Code constantly testing their adversity against such corruption. In most cases the Jedi were supported by their pairs, the Jedi Order for which had once been whole and inclusive of all whom sought to follow the light. It had been this vision that he had hoped to encourage and revitalize in The Jedi Enclave of Deneba. Through all his efforts however, it had eventually come time where he had been persuaded, not by any other but his own conclusions, that having achieved his goal in returning to the Galaxy a body of selfless edict in the light, the time had come to retire and return to Commenor, to a nation of peoples whom sought to live in peace and to a Queen whom needed him most, now in the times of Galactic Turmoil especially.

 

[WolfMortum]

Reaching out with his left hand, his fingers outstretched and palm open facing down, Veiere's hand touched down upon the Holocron; the moment his eyes fell shut the room around him fell immediately dense and his subconscious took charge to drown out all else around him. Delving into the depths of his mind and focus within the Force, he envisioned a new environment void of detail and light, surrounded by darkness, he stood alone yet felt nothing but comfort within a place of absolute security and the constraints of his own mind and power over the force; The holocron reacting to his presence and command of his will.

In the weeks before his wife had given birth to their children, she had fallen victim to yet another bounty hunter this time succeeding to collect payment on the price held over her and put there by the late Miss Blonde, a retired criminal whose Organization had since been taken charge over by the Sith Lord, [member="Darth Abyss"]. For a moment, it had seemed that Kay's past affiliations with the Sith had paid off and that her safety had been ensured yet the Sith had reacted most foul to the presence of Veiere and the light that swelled around him, his former role as Grand-Master of the Deneba Enclave had not gone unnoticed by Abyss and in consequence of his paranoia and the unintended rivalry between the two, he had given Veiere an option or rather an ultimatum for which he would avoid violence and the possible injury to his wife very late in her pregnancy.

The Sith had claimed knowledge that once belonged to him, the removal of memories for which he had not given light as to their extent of their significance, Veiere still at a loss with answers and the frustration that welled up within him for what could have been vital information and teachings remained ever so on his mind. He had made the choice, free of his own will to sacrifice a part of himself for his wife's safety in health yet in the Sith Lords lingering presence, a stain upon his conscience, Veiere still felt pulled towards the need to understand the weight in that which he had given up.

At times Veiere found himself feeling much older than he was, the mental fatigue that sometimes washed over him in sudden bouts often conflicted with his day to day. Dwelling upon such memories, such experiences often influenced these pools of negativity and in the years that he and [member="Lady Kay"] had battled against the odds, much had been taken out of them for the pursuit of their happiness and the hope for a bright and secure future for their people. The Sith had left their mark on them both, Kay's abduction long ago, her complete desolation of her mind and turn to the Dark-side had nearly broken Veiere and today he was willing to deter that from happening again, no matter the cost; only there were days where it bothered him more than what was considered healthy. His faith in the light of the Force had been shaken, removed of it's grace by the politics of the Order and the weight of darkness that swept across the galaxy, not just in the Sith but in the simple yet selfish acts of sentient society, the criminal underground of cultures and the disregard for other peoples lives...

His eyes snapped open, his hand lifting away from the Holocron in sudden reluctance and the darkness of his surroundings instantly returning to the light of the room and the security of his homestead. Exhaling shallowly under his breath, he leaned forward to press his elbows against his knees, resting upon the edge of the living room suite and gazing off to the left out towards the windows for which opened up into the wide countryside view. It was in the privacy of their home, and the isolation of his company alone that his mind might wander to consider the things he often sought to brave for the sake of his family. What the future would bring for them and at what cost would it take for he and his wife to eventually come to terms with their past, the burden for which still hung over them both and for Veiere, remained a need and expectation to prove himself, to ensure that the past never repeat and that Kay and their newborn children were safe under his roof.

 

[WolfMortum]

Turning to gaze upon the manuscript of the late Jedi Order, Veiere Arenais couldn't help but find his shoulders carrying the weight of the past. Many times he had studied the pages of the ancient text and questioned the lessons of the former Masters of the Jedi Path. Master Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker were but three of the nine influential persons having added to the artifact, their own perceptions and beliefs woven into the Jedi Codex, not all of them positive yet improving on the artifacts worth and historical significance. Not until lately had he questioned the origins of the tome, it describing that the Jedi Master Yoda had first come across it and presided over what would be translated into a newer pretext for the Jedi Order.

What then, if any however, lessons of the Je'daii Order had been written there before?

He had met with a young woman, [member="Asha Hex"], come upon one another by chance or perhaps something more. The World of Svivren and the Enclave ruins of his past had been their temporary sanctuary for which she had looked far deeper into his past than any had done so before. A Void Walker, she had referred to herself, one able to gaze back in time through the flow of power in the Force, the tide of experience bound upon endless weaving in and out of time, Veiere had seen himself in his first days within the Order, then standing before his former Master...

Most troubling however was their venture into the past, beyond that of the Jedi Order to talk about the origins of their people. Both those of the Jedi and of the Sith, the followers of Ashla and Bogan. His knowledge over the Je'daii Order had been severely lacking in comparison to the young Asha; rather keen was her mind and clearly devout in her studies of the ancient histories. The Revelation that the followers of Ashla, those of the light-side of the Force, had been the ones to instigate the first great civil war and seek to dismantle and eliminate the followers of Bogan, those of the dark-side...-It had come as both shocking and yet curiously believable. The girl was able to delve into such things, to envision these truths especially within the nexus of the Force that now resided within the former enclave of Svivren, yet Veiere felt during that discussion of great inner conflict, awefully at peace with the truth. As if it had been the last missing piece he had required to finally break away from his life long dedication to the Jedi Order and instead turn his sights upon that which he had always believed in. Balance within the Force and true moral actions placed before the expectations of social standing and etiquette. To hard had it become to serve as a Jedi, to complicated in the Order's disarray, that so few Jedi stood within the same light of one another, marred and indifferent by their conflicting perceptions of moral value and supposed, justified philosophies...Politics of the Jedi, as easily misconstrued and twisted as those of galactic policies and government reign.

 

[WolfMortum]

Sowing the seeds of doubt and internal conflict, the days were easily taken from him in the absence of his Wife whom busied herself with business across the Commenor Systems Alliance. [member="Lady Kay"] whom still had her priorities in check, they both wanting the best for their people and yet between the two of them, she filling out her day more so than he where his thoughts were left to run wild over the state of the Galaxy descending into Chaos outside of their Nations territory. Forever looking ahead, bound by what-if's and moments that hadn't come, a crutch on Veiere's sense of reason and fight for inner peace and harmony within the flow of the living force; his time as a Jedi had taught him to ignore such concerns, they of which had not yet proven themselves into being; yet he could not help but feel it was folley to not consider what lay ahead, what risks were worth taking in order to dodge catastrophe and strife. The Force had a will and a plan for all live big and small, dark and light, sides did not dictate it's flow but the Force as a whole outside of sentient values and moral understanding for which frankly their minds were too small to comprehend, struggle as they might and he often did.

Kay had come to him recently where the future of the Systems Alliance was concerned in the wake of the growing war across the Galaxy, both of them knowing that sooner or later they would either be pulled in by their neighboring allies or left to fight alone due to their neutrality for which had offered their friends little help in man-power and the commitment to hostilities as of yet. In their nearby Imperial neighbors, Veiere had expressed his indifference between the path of democracy where imperialism seemed better enabled to provide security to their borders. The Galactic Empire, the First Order and quite frankly even the Sith were doing a better job at maintaining power and strength against those alike the Alliance and the Silver Jedi. It was that control and strength that he felt the Systems Alliance needed, yet to gain such a might and ability to protect and take the fight against those that would seek to destroy them, at what cost and the loss of integrity would such a path take them. Better yet, was his moral code worth the lives of thousands in order to maintain, were it to cripple their potential ability to otherwise save millions under their protection.

His days as a member of the Jedi Order had come to an end, both in practice and in spirit; there he had come to understand just how small his line of sight had been for what would come into their immediate future. Vying for political vindication between a broken Order splintered across the Galaxy believing the Force to be of two sides as opposed to their teachings of it's entirety and veil across all living souls. It connected all, not simply those the Jedi believed were just and in his want to restore the Jedi Order's integrity, he had found naught but hypocrisy and distraction from the path he had always followed without the titles and the temples, the representation of grandeur and the fallacy of a failed legend.

Here, Commenor the heart of his people, he was the protector of millions alongside his wife and the key to ensuring peace within their reach. No longer so blind as to care for the approval of ghosts of his past life and torments of the night, rising to his feet and moving to the nearby window ahead of him, his gaze cast out upon the beauty that was their land and caught upon furrowed brows, he questioned whether his integrity truly mattered, nor conduct in how they were to act when the true purpose outside of themselves were so evidently clear. Think not of self gain but work for the protection and preservation of all life, good and bad were matters of perspective but the force favored none above others and nor would he any longer...

 

[WolfMortum]

Veiere found himself walking, one step at a time through the estate that surrounded him, the air clouded within his sight, his mind disillusioned from the natural air of Commenor while he had found himself ultimately becoming enveloped and consumed by his emotional torment and mental instability. A life of fighting, the experiences that he had taken on and the witnessing of lives lost in such extravagant number; the knowledge that none of what he had done truly mattered nor could be justified when the past establishment of the Jedi Order had been founded upon lies, false claims and murder.

Hope was a distant prospect, no longer within his hands Veiere found only regret and anger, remorse, guilt, the wish that he had known better. However had he so inaccurately read the force and it's will over his life, he could not fathom. Commenor was a great achievement, the systems alliance a power of potential peace in a galaxy engulfed in war and yet due to his former ideals and his wife [member="Lady Kay"]'s generous compassion for all peoples, they mounted no comparable offense against those that surrounded them and their future should war take to their worlds would only see so many millions die for their beliefs...-Ideal's that they had felt were just, or Veiere had at-least until recently. Why would so many have to be held accountable for his and his wive's mistakes, their foolish battle for good will and freedom for peace, the lack of authority in strength that he had come to admire in the Empire and the First Order for the contacts both he and Kay held there.

Cyril Grayson had been right about everything and he was only now coming to understand this. The ideals of the Order were impossible to bring about for a galaxy so defiant in their selfish desires to live within chaos while the Jedi themselves held not the strength to enforce what was required to see the vision they so devoutly sought to encompass. The Force was a power to be respected, not a tool to be manipulated, this Veiere agreed with and yet their weakness was their refusal to bend the lines of morality and do what was really required of them, take charge so that others might not be burdened with such necessary actions of hostility and demand, the true enactment of martyrdom, leading others into the brighter days through the darker deeds that the innocent might never need to lower themselves to...Every part of his days flowing within the endless wake of time beyond him, every thing he had given so much for, every time he had fought against others believing himself to be so righteous and by the moral high ground, just in his actions only to come into the realization that like the original Je'daii who had committed the heresy of denying the followers of bogan and casting them out, killing them, he had become no better...

Who was he to criticize others for living a life that did not follow in his beliefs, the Sith though they had taken a great love from his life had their reasons and a right to walk their own path. Those they hurt would bring about a wake of consequences for which he still believed ought to be handled swiftly and without mercy, yet they were people all the same within the Force held together by the laws of society yet part of the natural world, neither above nor below any other...-The Jedi deserved to be treated just as so, though he could no longer find admiration in their path and their attempts for a peaceful future or balance within the force when they sought so blatantly to crush the dark side followers and thus contradict their very teachings...

This Galaxy was full of hypocrisy and idealistic and immoral treason, friends striking against friends, families at one another's throats, the Jedi Order splintered and lost of it's former stature while the Sith embodied a greater sense of unity, power in numbers and no restraint what-so-ever in their pursuits. Their fight was relentless, feral and disorderly to Veiere's eyes yet they seemed to be doing better than his former associates of the Order. [member="Asha Hex"] on the other hand had introduced him to the Je'daii Order for which Veiere prayed that Caedyn might be denied the choosing of sides and being pulled into an eternal war of parasitic hypocrits and self-entitled saviors through genocidal acts against whoever challenged their way of life. The light was no longer strong and pure, the dark no longer so threatening and all that Veiere saw today had become blurred and unrecognizable. He couldn't bring himself to care anymore about what was right or wrong, he had become lost and the power that flowed throughout him was becoming ever so demanding of some exertion, expression and release. Some days, Veiere just found himself wanting to scream for all the confusion and anger that he held for life's deceit; to bare his knuckles down into something solid, to feel alive again if only for a second and experience what it was to feel of some worth anymore.

Depression had him over-run, and in that dark place, his command over the force had grown ever so stronger, his presence dense and cold where the Dark side of the Force slowly worked it's way into his heart and the former compassionate soul that was his had become resentful, self-loathing and victimized in his anger.